by John Walters
A Medium Happy 30th to Arielle Vandenberg
Starting Five
Hillary Hammers Him at Hofstra in Hempstead
“Four-hundred pound” hackers….”I have a much better temperament than she does, I think my strongest asset, by far, is my temperament”….”That makes me smart”….”those lawsuits were settled with no admission of guilt”…”Everyone agrees that (Rosie O’Donnell) deserves it”….”I was going to say something not nice”….”I think I’ve developed good relationships over the last…little while…with African-Americans”….”Law and order”…”Sydney Blumenthal”….”Ask Sean Hannity; somebody ask Sean Hannity!”….And of course, the sniffles.
Trump’s spin doctors, from Kellyanne Conway to Mike Pence, are on the morning shows today saying that he did a good job. They’re paid to say that (so are Hillary’s, of course, except that she doesn’t really have a Kellyanne Conway—”SHE DOESN’T NEED ONE! SHE HAS THE MEDIA!”). He didn’t. Hillary Clinton won Debate I, but it’s more about that Donald Trump lost it. Dreadfully.
For an event that had Super Bowl-level ratings, this reminded me of XXVII: Dallas 52, Buffalo 17. It was close for a quarter, then the Bills imploded. Same thing at Hofstra.
2. Twitter To Join Mickey Mouse Club?
I must say, those birds from Snow White DO look familiar…
Reports out that Disney is trying to put together a bid to buy Twitter. That would be a huge add for ESPN.
Microsoft also interested. As are Google and SalesForce.com. Everyone wants to paint Tom Sawyer’s fence, apparently. It’s all driving the price of the stock up for a company that everyone agrees is an outstanding service, but just does not make any money. The stock is up more than 25% since Thursday.
Will Twitter be sold by Christmas? By Thanksgiving? By Halloween? By Columbus Day? Be the first on your block to find out by being on Twitter….
3. Miami Mourns
Gordon, following his leadoff solo shot
The Marlins returned to the field Monday, all of the players wearing jerseys that read “Fernandez, 16”, and playing with grief. Dee Gordon led off the bottom of the first with a home run, and Miami sailed to a 7-3 win against the New York Mets.
4. Can We All Just Pool Our Money and Give It To Mike Tyson?
The man with the most punchable face in America, Martin Shkreli, is finally exhibiting a sense of self-awareness. Shkreli is auctioning off a chance to punch him in the face to raise money, apparently, for the son of a friend of his who recently succumbed to cancer (the friend, not the son). The Pharma Bro is offering bidders the chance to either slap or punch him (is he stopping at just one person? Because if he really wants to raise some money…?).
My guess is that Shkreli, a real-life Barney Stinson except with none of the charm, has seen the “Slap Bet” episode of How I Met Your Mother.
5. Fly Girl
The woman on the left is Kate McWilliams, age 26. The young man on the right is Luke Elsworth, age 19. She is a pilot for EasyJet, a British carrier, and he is her co-pilot. Last week the two flew from London to Malta. McWilliams began aviation training with the junior cadets at age 13 and became a first officer, or co-pilot, at age 21. She is believed to be the youngest commercial airline pilot in the world and easily the most obvious People magazine profile subject in history.
Music 101
Feels Like The First Time
I’d largely forgotten about this 1977 song by Foreigner until Skyler Astin revived it in the Pitch Perfect riff-off. This was the first single off the band’s eponymous debut album and it climbed to No. 4 on the Billboard charts. Foreigner had a nice little run between 1977 and the mid-Eighties as the soft man’s Def Leppard.
Remote Patrol
Frontline: The Choice 2016
PBS 9 p.m.
If you are not yet fully drunk and over served on this election, this excellent program will delve further into the two candidates. They won me over on this clip alone, which includes the beat-down by Obama of Trump at the 2011 WHCD, which I said last month would lead off any documentary on Trump’s rise to power that I would do,