You have to love that this still can happen in 2021, in a world of online research and Google-mapping, etc. Last Sunday ESPN aired a high school football game between IMG Academy of Bradenton, Fla., and Bishop Sycamore of….where, exactly?
Forget for a moment that Bishop Sycamore had actually played a game on Friday night before being waxed 58-0 on national TV. Or that the players that the school’s coaching staff promised had D-1 offers don’t. The biggest deal is that the school does not actually exist as a school. It’s an “on-line charter school” and really, particularly in the Covid age, who knows how much any of these football players attend class? In high school, not college.
IMG is barely better. It’s a super-sports academy (I’ve spent time there) where the classes are an afterthought. IMG produces great college talent in football, basketball and tennis. It’s a sports academy. Period. Where students do the minimum amount of academic work to get by (of course, you can say that about plenty of high school students). But at least IMG is an actual place.
Newton’s Fourth Law Of Thermodynamics
A veteran quarterback at rest during August training camp will soon be displaced by a talented rookie.
The Patriots cut former NFL MVP Cam Newton and name rookie Mac Jones as the starting quarterback. Jones becomes the third Alabama starting quarterback from the past five years who will be a Week One starter in the NFL in 2021.
Well, blow me down. Hurricane Ida, a category-4 hurricane with winds approaching 155 m.p.h. strikes landfall almost squarely in New Orleans.
Hope everyone’s safe, but nature really does put on the best show.
Frost Bites
Nebraska at Illinois felt a little wrong more than one full week before Labor Day and in 96-degree heat… particularly if you’re a Cornhusker fan. Down 9-2 early, the Illini and backup quarterback Art Sitkowski reeled off four consecutive touchdowns and held on to win 30-22.
How poorly is Scott Frost doing in his return to his home state and alma mater after leading UCF to a 13-0 season? I didn’t quite believe this when I read on the Twitters, so I checked it out and it’s true: Frost would need to go 37-1 over his next 38 games simply to match the record Jim Harbaugh has had at Michigan, a record that by most accounts has been very disappointing for that former college QB who returned to coach his alma mater in the same conference.
Dunno if Frost can right the harvester in Lincoln, a school that has been synonymous with college football success for an entire century. But the Huskers have a pretty big game versus Oklahoma on Sept. 18. And that one’s in Norman. Good luck. Norman, or Waterloo (No, not the Iowa one)?
Oh, Mr. Graaaaant
Actor Ed Asner passed away Sunday at the age of 91. He had many roles in life, but none so career-defining as the gruff but lovable Lou Grant, head man of the WJM news team on The Mary Tyler Moore Show. There may have been a sitcom or two as good as MTM, but there’s never been a better ensemble cast on a sitcom. And Asner was the captain of that ship.
The line I remember, and it may have been from the premiere episode. Lou says to Mary, “You’ve got spunk… I hate spunk.”
That’s So Raven
The Baltimore Ravens defeated the Washington Football Team 37-3 in both teams’ final preseason game of the weekend. Here’s what’s nutty: it was Baltimore’s 20th consecutive victory… in preseason football games. That’s a streak that extends back five years. Has any NFL club ever been so dominant in so meaningless a facet of the sport?
And what, if anything, can we extrapolate from this? I don’t know. The NFL record for consecutive regular season wins is 23, held by the 2008-2009 Indianapolis Colts… who used to be the Baltimore Colts, I think.
During this same period, in case you were wondering, the Ravens are 52-28 with no Super Bowl appearances, all under John Harbaugh. A very good record. Just something less than 20-0.
The China Syndrome
China has issued an edict BANNING the playing of video games between Monday and Thursday and allowing just one hour per day on Friday through Sunday. Sometimes, repressive authoritarian regimes have their upside.
Now, sure, you may cry, “But my free-dumb!” and you’re correct, but China, the world’s second-largest economy and first-largest country by population, has smartly deduced that having so many of its children spend so much of their times with their faces in screens is not beneficial long-term (we’ll see on that… stay tuned). Of course, the irony in all of this is that China leads the world in companies that manufacture the games and the hardware that makes these games possible.
So, yes, let’s profit off it. But let’s not do it. Sure, I’ll own a whorehouse, but none of my daughters are going into that business….
A suicide bomber drives a truck packed with explosives into the U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut, killing 241 U.S. military personnel. That same morning, 58 French soldiers were killed in their barracks two miles away in a separate suicide terrorist attack. The U.S. Marines were part of a multinational force sent to Lebanon in August 1982 to oversee the Palestinian withdrawal from Lebanon. From its inception, the mission was plagued with problems–and a mounting body count.
I remember that day well. I believe it was a Sunday morning when the news broke, my senior year of high school. I remember it being tragic, the worst loss of U.S. military life in one day since at least Vietnam. And I remember no one calling for President Reagan to resign, but then, he had been so damn good in Knute Rockne: All American and Kings Row (films in which, respectively, he had lost his life and legs).
It wasn’t really Reagan’s fault, after all. The mission was next-to-impossible, and whenever you have an opponent willing to commit suicide as part of their attack, it presents problems (ask any Naval commander in the Pacific from World War II).
Yesterday a dozen or so U.S. military personnel were killed in Kabul (a dozen, not 243) while executing a near-impossible task: evacuating Americans and Afghans from Kabul via the airport. For those citizens to not flock to the airport means they risk being kidnapped or killed by the Taliban or ISIS in their homes or wherever they are hiding. Their best escape route is via the airport, of course, where more than 80,000 have been evacuated the past week or so, but that means bunching up in crowds outside the airport gates, which, of course, makes them an inviting and vulnerable target.
And yet here are plenty of disingenuous Republican “leaders” calling for President Biden to resign. It was not President Biden who released 5,000 Taliban prisoners nor was it Biden who brokered a deal with the Taliban last year (it was President Trump and Mike Pompeo). These Republicans know that, but they also know that so many of their cult are sheep who don’t care to possess the ability for critical thought.
Beirut was a terrible day. But we were one country then. Kabul was, from a body-count perspective, far less significant. But we have awful people on one side of the aisle in 2021. And useful idiots supporting them.
Ten Turns 30
Happy 30th birthday to one of the very best debut albums in the history of rock and roll.
I remember the moment. Labor Day, 1991. Walking into an appliance store on 72nd just west of Broadway, in search of a stereo. You know, it’s the early ’90s so I need a CD player that also plays cassettes. So sad that I abandoned my turntable (what were we thinking?).
Then I hear it. This BELLOWING guitar that sounds like a battle cry. The opening chords of “Alive.” It was a beautiful late summer afternoon in Manhattan, the kind where the humidity has departed and you can feel the early strains of autumn. The golden late afternoon sun outside. And inside, this sound I’d never before experienced.
Make no mistake, Pearl Jam came out of the gates early that fall, before Nirvana. The other Seattle-based grunge band would soon take the lead. By Christmas holidays they’d be sharing a stage together, both serving as warm-up acts for RHCP.
Our favorite songs from Ten, in order: 1) Alive 2) Release 3) Jeremy 4) Oceans 5) Black 6) Once 7) Evenflow
Won’t See You In September
Not appearing at the U.S. Open that begins next week: Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal, Serena Williams, Venus Williams. That foursome represents 17 U.S. Open singles titles since 1999. Or nearly half.
The door is wide open for Novak Djokovic to become the first man with 21 career singles titles (and he should celebrate at the iconic 21 in midtown Manhattan). And as far as we know, Naomi Osaka is coming to Flushing Meadows. Naomi versus the New York media. Should be a fun show.
Death Valley Daze
Two male hikers have died in separate incidents at Death Valley National Park this week. Why? Because it’s really, really, really hot there and they were really, really, really unprepared. The men were 52 and 60 years old (man, is that old!) and to be honest, it wasn’t even that hot in Death Valley. Only about 109 degrees.
You have to love a national park that lives up to its name. And the hype.
Not sure how the “Milk Crate Challenge” became a thing, other than it originated on Tik Tok, but it’s certainly the most viral phenom of the past week. Our favorite person above is the dude wearing a mask. Being careful about Covid but not about his neck.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqCa1BxjhEg
Our new priority order for emergency room cases goes like this: 1) vaccinated, 2) unvaccinated, 3) milk crate challenge losers.
And then there’s this…
‘cuz We’re Stupid And Contagious
Thirty years after appearing on the cover of Nirvana’s Nevermind, Spencer Elden has filed a lawsuit against the surviving members of the band alleging child pornography. I mean, he’s holding the pretty damning evidence. One baby to another said I’m not happy to have met you…
Then again, the band’s directions to the model were come as you are….
Elden is seeking less than $3 million and if you read this it seems pretty apparent that Geffen records and/or Kurt Cobain’s estate should simply pay up and settle…
Is this the start of a wave of album cover-related lawsuits? This would seem to be a perfect class-action lawsuit aimed square at a band even more iconic than the godfathers of grunge…
Weir Have All The Hitters Gone?
Yesterday in the Little League World Series Gavin Weir threw another no-hitter. The 12 years-old from Sioux Falls struck out 14 batters as South Dakota defeated Oregon 1-0. Weir is one of the most phenomenal kids we’ve seen in LLWS in a long, long time.
Here’s Weir’s line through the tournament thus far: two no-hitters. 43 2/3 innings pitched and he’s only allowed one hit and no runs while striking out 114 batters. He’s gotten 131 hitters out, and 114 of them have whiffed.
And here’s the craziest thing: Sioux Falls and Weir shouldn’t even be in Williamsport. They finished second in their region, but because of Covid, as you may have noticed, there are no international teams in the LLWS this August. So second-place teams from each region also advanced. Which is why Weir and Sioux Falls are here.
Unless there is a rainout, Weir will not be permitted to pitch again. Because he’s maxed out his pitch count for the week. That’s a LLWS rule… which might deny fans of an epic LLWS finale.
cuz We’re Stupid And Contagious (Part Deux)
This, right here, is *exactly* how you deal with rightwing reporters more focused on spreading misinformation than keeping people alive.
“Send me some studies.” The f**k is wrong with people?
Up All Night
San Diego is not the furthest west baseball city in America— Seattle is. In fact, it may blow your mind to learn that America’s Finest City is further east than Spokane… it is. But it sure felt like it was halfway to Hawaii last night as a baseball game between the Padres and the L.A. Dodgers went early into the morning on the East coast.
The Dodgers outlasted the Padres 5-3 in 16 innings in something less than a classic and more than a marathon. What began as a pitchers’ duel between Cy Young favorite Walker Buehler an Blake Snell remained a 1-1 game to the top of the 15th… more than six innings after both had exited.
In fact, the Padres went more than nine innings before Fernando Tatis, Jr.s’ two-run homer in the 15th tied it up at 3-3. It was Tatis’ first hit in two games, or 8 at-bats.
The box score was not pretty: the clubs went a combined 7-51 with runners in scoring position, for about a .113 batting average in that spot. A.J. Pollock put L.A. up for good with a two-run homer in the top of the 16th. I went to bed after the 11th when the Padres loaded the bases with two outs but had to pinch-hit using a starting pitcher who was 3-for-40 as a hitter (why not just keep your ace closer in with those odds?).
The game took 5 hours, 49 minutes to play, which means it ended at 3:49 a.m. Eastern time. It’s the longest extra-inning game since MLB tweaked extras by starting the inning with a baserunner on 2nd (I think I buried the lede).
Watching 100 Foot Wave on HBO Max. Terrific. Concisely, it’s the story of big wave surfer Garrett McNamara’s quest to ride the world’s tallest wave before age boxes him out. To outrace the world’s largest wall of water before he’s over the hill.
Is McNamara a bit obsessed? He’s named his first son Barrel.
Two things: 1) Most of this 5-part series is based around the coastal Portuguese town of Nazare, which had not been traditionally thought of as a surfing mecca, and 2) the supporting characters in this tale are all thoughtful, articulate and sincere. They’re not wacko streaming-doc characters. McNamara’s wife, Nicole, his brother-in-law, J.C., his tow-riders from England and Ireland, Andrew Cotton and Al Lennie, the Nazare locals who help fund the project, these are all good people and great teammates. And the latter two just happen to have the courage to ride 50-foot plus waves.
And make no mistake: it’s thrilling to watch these surfers “dance with God,” as one Brazilian big-wave rider puts it, but these waves will wreck people. A broken back, a wrecked shoulder, a near-death experience. McNamara’s wife, Nicole, is a decent surfer who eats it on a small Nazare wave and gets rag-dolled into shore. After that, she’s done. And that’s probably the puniest wave in the whole series.
If you loved Free Solo as we did, you’ll truly enjoy this.
The Skinns Game
This is David Skinns, a golfer from England who just experienced his Tin Cup moment (except he got the win, not Rene Russo… settling for second, I guess). Skinns is 39, a journeyman 16-year pro on lesser tours. During the pandemic he worked as a delivery driver and a bartender to support his family. As recently as six weeks ago he was 82nd on the Korn Ferry Tour, which is the next tour below the PGA Tour. The top 25 golfers on the Korn Ferry Tour are elevated to the big league tour, the PGA, the following year.
In four of Skinns’ five final events, he finished no lower than 8th. This weekend at the Pinnacle Bank Championship in Omaha he one-putted the last four holes to win… and finally move himself into the top 25. And a much bigger series of pay days next year. The man who was a driver used his driver to take a big leap forward.
Built To Last
Remember the U.S. sprinter who was kept off the Olympic team after testing positive for Cheech-and-Chong’ing it? Last Saturday in Eugene Sha’Carri Richardson had her chance for redemption, as she lined up in the blocks against the three Jamaicans who stood on the podium in Tokyo. And a few other sprinters.
Richardson came in last place. By a lot. She finished 9th, but only because there were only eight other sprinters.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrZ5YpIQ-nE
To Richardson’s credit, she did the post-race interview at the Prefontaine Classic, congratulated the winners, and the 21 year-old told everyone, in colorful language, that she’s far from done.
A Shohei from Sioux Falls
Meet Gavin Weir, the breakout star of the Little League World Series from Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Yesterday Weir jacked a three-run bomb to lift his squad, representing the Midwest, past Oregon, 3-0. He provided the game’s only RBI.
But Weir’s also unhittable. In fact, pitching may be his true forte. From Yardbarker: “. Over his last 37.2 innings, he’s allowed just one hit, no earned runs, and struck out 100 batters. Yes, he has struck out 100 of a possible 113 batters (88 percent). That’s just crazy.”
Happy 10th, Tim
Today is the 10th anniversary of Tim Cook being CEO of Apple. The company’s stock has risen 1,000% since he’s been in charge. We were fools to ever sell it. #NeverSellApple
The Freeze Has Supernatural Powers
Soooooo close……
The Freeze — and the Warning Track monster — strikes again 😅
In Atlanta, the Yankees and Braves met, an encounter 120 years in the making. Sure, they’ve played plenty in the past 12 decades, but it was the first time since 1901 that two teams sporting nine-game win streaks were meeting. The Yankees won, 5-1, meaning their last loss is still the Field of Dreams game.
Anyway, that little historic moment was overshadowed by a stunning finish in the nightly Freeze race at the ballpark. Watch.
