by John Walters

Two of the all-time great wits were born on this day. In 1835, Samuel Clemens, a.k.a., Mark Twain, who wrote a few decent 19th-century novels and was the Bill Murray of the 19th century.

Twain: “Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”

And in 1874, Winston Churchill, who is Medium Happy’s choice as “Greatest Dude of the 20th Century,” 

Churchill: “You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, some time in your life.”

Starting Five

1.The Kobe Desert

Our man the Mamba, Kobe Bryant, announces via The Ghostwriters Players Tribune that he will retire at the end of the season. Why not sooner? The greatest backcourt player since Michael Jordan should retire, well, immediately.

At age 37, Kobe has 17 All-Star Game appearances, five championship rings. an 81-point game (2nd-best all-time; the only other player in the top five games is Wilt), two All-Star Game MVPs, one league MVP, and 32,670 points, more than everybody except Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Karl Malone, neither of whom he will catch.

This season, however, he is last in both FG % and 3-point FG % among  qualified players. That’s a bad look.

Kobe can do whatever he wants, of course. And there’s $23 million to be earned. Or thereabouts. He can do what he wants. I hope he retires before New Year’s Day. He deserves better than this.

2. Don’t Geaux! *

No, Les Miles did not lead LSU to the national championship. They just beat A&M, 19-7. Why do you ask?

*The judges will also accept “More of Les”

So Les Miles will stay in Baton Rouge. The Tigers were, after all, No. 2 in the nation with the Heisman front runner (Leonard Fournette) when this month began. It was fun listening to the ESPNers chide LSU’s president and athletic director for how they were leaving The Hat “twisting in the wind” all week. You’d almost think Richard Sandomir was going to tweet out that LSU had dismissed Les at 7:10 a.m.

3. Irish Heartbreak (Cont.)

2015: Notre Dame, 10-1, loses on a 45-yard game-winning field goal by Stanford as time expires.

Add this to the list that already includes….

2014: Irish, 6-0, lose at undefeated Florida State when offensive pass interference is called on the game-winning touchdown pass in the final minute, nullifying it.

2005: Irish, 4-1, fall to defending national champion and No. 1 USC on the Bush Push in the final seconds. They failed when USC converted a 4th-and-9 earlier in that drive.

1993: Irish, 10-0 and No. 1, rally back from 38-17 fourth-quarter deficit versus Boston College to take 39-38 lead in final minute only to lose on David Gordon’s 47-yard field goal.

I met my friend Moose, who is Canadian, in 2004. She soon became a devoted Notre Dame fan. Moose has survived three different bouts with cancer in her life, but I’m pretty sure that it’s Notre Dame football that will kill her.

Not that the Irish were one of the four best teams, and not that they were going to make the College Football Playoff (my opinion) with Oklahoma winning by 31 at Oklahoma State last night. But Notre Dame hadn’t won at Stanford since 2007 and when you go up with :30 remaining, that should be good enough.

Related: The Irish scored on 1st down. If only they’d have wasted another down or two.

Anyway, in a 48-quarter season, Notre Dame was without its No. 1 nose tackle, Jarron Jones, for all 48 quarters; without its No. 1 running back, Taurean Folston, for 47 quarters; without its No. 1 tight end, Durham Smythe, for 43 quarters. Without its starting quarterback, Malik Zaire, for 41 quarters. And so on.

The point? Irish fans can be disappointed, but 10-2 is outstanding considering how many players this team lost, and again, lost by a total of 4 points to a pair of Top 10 teams on the road.

Then again, here’s a tweet from last night, from the photographer who shot the iconic Cam McDaniel photo two seasons ago: “Butt wipe Brian Kelly says ND is 2 plays away from being the #1 team in the US. Yeah if u actually played somebody worth a crap, dbag”

3. (A No Longer) Perfect Storm

Gronk hurt. He no play.

The Patriots forsook the advice of Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio and headed directly into the Flemish Cap. Or something like that. Up 21-7 early in the fourth quarter against the Denver Brock O’s ( <–credit goes to Rick Reilly for that), the 10-0 Pats allowed 17 points, lost Gronk, and then lost the game in overtime, 30-24.

Meanwhile, the rest of us learned the term “Excess Timeout” and how it works, which apparently was something Bill “What The F**K” Belichick did not even understand.

Earlier in Seattle, CBS’ Jim Nantz had his own “What the F**k” moment on a disputed Cam Chancellor interception. Nantz and Phil Simms appealed to New York and veteran ref Mike Carrey, who first provided as abstruse an explanation as you’ll ever hear (Simms, incredulously: “I’ve never heard that before”), which turned out not to jibe with what the replay official in Seattle ruled.

Also, we’re not sure how, but Odell Beckham, Jr., caught this in a loss to the Redskins

With that Nantz, voicing the frustration of a nation, delivered a brief polemic about the current nature of 1) NFL replay and 2) what constitutes a catch, basically asking, “If Mike Carrey doesn’t understand the rules, who should?” It was beautiful to see the normally unflappable Nantz so peeved.

4. There Goes the Neighborhood

The Walking Dead writing staff, wandering aimlessly in search of a plausible story arc

On the midseason finale of The Walking Dead, the herd are able to push over a giant retaining wall through sheer mass and persistence, invading Alexandria (which always seemed like a rather dull paradise to me, anyway), but then have trouble overcoming a couch positioned at the bottom of a stairway of a 2-story home. As with so many other WD moments this season, the audience is left saying, “Riiiiiigggghhhhhht.”

As Sepinwall writes, “The show has dug itself a deep credibility hole.” Yup. That, or it just has run out of stories to tell.

5. Return of the Jeddah (Tower)

The Tower so far…

Plans have been finalized in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, to construct the world’s tallest building (the editors at MH are always suckers for “world’s tallest building” stories). The plan is to  erect the Jeddah Tower, formerly known as the Kingdom Tower, to a height of 1 kilometer, or 3,280 feet. Or 252 floors. That’s more than 2 1/2 times the height of the Empire State Building and 437 times the height of Mamadou Ndiaye.

The Burj Khalifa in Dubai, which is currently the world’s tallest building. We want the window-cleaning contract on this.

The building is 26 stories completed, but the contractor was just able to secure $2.3 billion in loans to complete the project. Now, if he’s anything like contractors we’ve come across, he’ll sit on his tush for a few years as the homeowner asks, “So when are you going to get to work on that 252-story building I’m paying you to build?”

Jeddah is located along the Red Sea. You have to love how folks who live in the cradle of the Old Testament keep reprising Old Testament stories. And it’s funny: Why, in a land that is so vast and unpopulated do men feel the need to erect structures that are so tall? Are they attempting to compensate for something?

Music 101

Pop Muzik

First-ballot inductees into the One-Hit Wonder Hall of Fame and One-Letter Band Hall of Fame, M, released this proto-New Wave hit in 1980. It’s a catchy refrain, though: “London, New York, Paris, Munich, everybody talk about…Pop Muzik!” Related: only one of those cities has failed to host a Summer Olympics.

This song, which hit No. 3 in the States and which some would classify as “poop music,” benefited from coming out just as MTV was launching and starved for videos.

Remote Patrol

A Charlie Brown Christmas

ABC 9 p.m.

Okay, sure, I’m a little nonplussed (I am utterly without plus) that this is airing in November, but it is a classic. Youngsters combat male-pattern baldness and teachers who don’t speak English in an effort to find the true meaning of Christmas. Not brought to you by Starbucks.

by John Walters

Happy 47th to Michael Vartan, the guy who played the dreamy dude in a TV show that also had Bradley Cooper

Starting Five

1. Monmouth That Roared

Right along the Jersey Shore, not far from my (and Bruce’s) hometown, is Monmouth University. The men’s basketball team is now 3-1, with wins this month against UCLA and Notre Dame. Man, if only it were 1974 that would be awesome. Still pretty awesome, though, for the West Long Branch school.

The Hawks won at UCLA earlier this month. Last night they created their now Thanksgiving Day Massacree by taking down the No. 17 Irish, 70-68. The coach is King Rice, former UNC point guard in the ’80s.

2. Everybody’s Hurt….Sometimes

This is what a Tony Romo statue should actually look like

Wherefore art thou, Romo?

Back on the injured list.

Is it not easy being Green…Bay?

No, it isn’t. Not if you’re Aaron Rodgers and you hurt your left wrist being sacked.

Every quarterback in the NFL seems to get hurt except Tom Brady, and when you do hurt him, the Shield creates a new rule to make sure you never hit anyone that way again.

3. Mahomes on the Range

The son of a former MLB player, Mahomes has been a stud in his first full season as a starter

After Texas Tech defeated Texas last night, 48-45, I tweeted, “Texas Tech finishes 7-5. Imagine what their record would be if Kliff Kingsbury had offered Baker Mayfield a scholarship.”

The correct answer, as many Guns Up! aficionados replied, is, “Probably 7-5.”

As dumb as it may have seemed to not offer the Big 12 Offensive Freshman of the Year, Mayfield, a scholly, after he walked on and wowed in 2013, and as good as Mayfield is now — a legit Heisman candidate– the Red Raiders have a pretty decent QB of their own. Pat Mahomes, a sophomore, is 3rd in the nation in passing yardage per game (357 ypg) while TT is No. 2 nationally in Scoring Offense at 46.6 points per game.

Mayfield has led the Sooners to a 10-1 record while also being a whole lot of fun to watch

The problem, of course, is that the Lubbock lugs play no D: they’re 122nd in the nation in Scoring Defense, allowing 42 ppg. How does that happen?

I’m not sure if TT would be better off with Mayfield than with Mahomes. They’d be far better off with even a decent defense. So, yes, I messed that one up.

4. Bye, Guy

Farewell to one of the legendary college hoops coaches, Guy Lewis.  In 30 seasons of coaching at his alma mater, Houston, Lewis compiled a 592-279 record. But that is why he may never be forgotten. No, he was a coach in two of the most memorable games in hoops history: He was on the court on January 20, 1968 in the Houston Astrodome for the “Game of the Century” with UCLA, the first college hoops game broadcast nationwide in prime time. Houston and Elvin Hayes prevailed over UCLA and Lew Alcindor.

Fifteen years later, he was on the losing end of the greatest upset in NCAA championship game history, as N.C. State upset his Phi Slama Jama squad of Akeem Olajuwon, Clyde Drexler and Michael Young (and don’t forget Reid Gettys).

Lewis also loved towels, though not quite as much as Jerry Tarkanian. He was 93.

5. Stormtroopers: B4 Star Wars

Notice the helmets. They have that same shell design as Lord Vader’s

Before there was the Death Star, there was Nazi Germany. Before there was Darth Vader (“Dark Father”), there was Adolf Hitler. And before there were the Stormtroopers, there were…Stormtroopers.

In German, the term is “Stermabteilung” (I would’ve flunked German), but the translation is “stormtroopers.” This group of soldiers were the paramilitary wing of the Nazi Party, using any and all tactics to enforce and intimidate. It’s probably not a coincidence that George Lucas gave Lord Vader’s henchmen this name, though it’s a reference that may be lost on a lot of people these days.

Music 101

912 Greens

This tune, by folk progenitor Ramblin’ Jack Elliott, tells the story of the author’s first visit to New Orleans. Elliott was a Jewish kid from Brooklyn — born in 1931, and still alive today– who ran away to join the rodeo and eventually became a cohort of Woody Guthrie’s. He is credited with having a tremendous influence on a young guitarist from Minnesota named Bob Dylan, whom he refers to as his “adopted son.”

Remote Patrol

Iowa at Nebraska

ABC 3:30 p.m.

Baylor at TCU was supposed to be the “Game of the Year,” but as each game will feature third-string QBs and neither team will make the playoff, I’m going with Lincoln and the B1G. The Hawkeyes are undefeated, but Nebraska has already taken down the B1G East champs this season. Why not the B1G West champs as well?

by John Walters

Happy 30th to Katie Cassidy, daughter of David Cassidy, erstwhile teen pop star a.k.a. David Partridge.

Starting Five

1. McDonald & Burger King

You can watch the video for yourself. The killing of Laquan McDonald — he was shot 16 times while brandishing a 3” knife — in Chicago took place in October, 2014. The officer who shot him, Jason Van Dyke, is 37, and has now been charged with first-degree murder.

The reason you’re hearing about it now is that a judge ordered the dash-cam video to be released.

Also involved in the case: police later went to a Burger King located less than 100 yards away from the scene and according to a BK district manager, deleted 86 minutes of video. McDonald, 17, was found to have PCP in his system and had slashed a police car’s tire with the knife. McDonald was shot numerous times while he was already lying on the ground.

2. Sweet! 16!

Steph: “Gimme a beat!”

The Dubs embarrass the LOLakers, 111-77, to advance to 16-0. The Lakers are almost as bad as the Warriors are flawless (my story in Newsweek), and on the TNT postgame show Kenny the Jet hummed the tune of Sweet Georgia Brown as Ernie narrated the high- and lowlights.

GSW had 32 assists (and just 8 turnovers) while LOL had just 31 baskets –and shot 3 for 20 from beyond the arc. Kobe Bryant shot 1 for 14, tying his worst shooting % as a pro (minimum 5 shots) at 7.14%

Luke at what has become of you

Worth noting: Golden State is blessed with talent, the right attitude, a selfless and ego-free leader in Stephen Curry and, during its 16-0 run, a serendipitous schedule. The Dubs have yet to face Cleveland, San Antonio, Miami, Dallas and OKC, the teams with the next five best records in the NBA.

3. Top 5: Win and You’re In

Fantastic cover. Now just eliminate all the words except “Sports Illustrated” and “Iowa Raucous” and we’re good.

The Selection Committee’s Top 10: 1. Clemson 2. Alabama 3. Oklahoma 4. Iowa 5. Michigan State 6. Notre Dame 7. Baylor 8. Ohio State 9. Stanford 10. Michigan

Thoughts:

— If you are in the Top 5, it’s simple: Win out and you’re in the playoff.

–If you are Notre Dame, beat Stanford and hope Oklahoma State, at home, causes Bedlam.

–If you are Baylor, hope Oklahoma and Notre Dame lose and that Stanford does not destroy Notre Dame.

–If you are Ohio State, tell Skip Bayless to kiss your ass and get ready for the Citrus Bowl.

–This could shake out to a Notre Dame-Michigan Fiesta Bowl, which would be awesome ( I attended the last UM-ND game that involved Jim Harbaugh and my cross-the-hall neighbor in Dillon, John Carney).

–Irish fans will bleat, but in the last six quarters their team outscored Wake Forest and Boston College by a combined score of 26-23. Not impressive. You can’t just “Go! route to Fuller” your way to a national championship — though you can get further than most people might expect. Notre Dame didn’t exactly lose to Boston College, but had they played better –maybe convert 2 of those 3 inside-the-10 opportunities into TDs while holding BC to 10 or fewer points –they might still be No. 4. So, as my friend Tim R. noted to me, the BC game had same effect as in 1993 or 2002. This game was definitely more similar to the 2002 game: incongruous turnovers, screw-ups, etc.

–There’s no guarantee that Iowa will win at Nebraska, as far as the least solid bets among the Top 4. If Iowa loses on Friday, then Jim Delany will send out the memo to Iowa City that they MUST NOT win the B1G Championship Game.

–The Committee detests Baylor’s, OSU’s and TCU’s OOC scheduling. And this is how they’ve sent that message. Don’t be surprised if, should all the other pieces fall into place (OU and ND loss), the Committee leap frogs Stanford above Baylor. The Bears just announced their 2016 OOC sked: SMU, Rice and Northwestern State (that’s one word too many for respectability).

Dalvin Cook, who may just be the nation’s best running back, was not among the 3 Doak Walker Award finalists.

–I like Clemson but the Tigers’ two best wins are at home. They could be No. 1 but not favored in the semi-final, should they defeat UNC.

— There are 14 losses among the top 13 teams, losses that altered the course of seasons, and at least seven of them, by my count, happened in excruciating (but thrilling) fashion: The punt at Michigan (UM), the out-of-bounds catch in Lincoln (MSU), the Punt 6 at Georgia Tech (FSU), the failed 2-pointer at Clemson (ND), the failed fourth down at Stanford (Stanford), the game-winning FG in Columbus (Ohio State), and the end zone pick(s) in Charlotte (UNC).

–If Navy wins out they will have taken down a trio of late-season one- or two-loss teams (Memphis, Houston, Temple), be 12-1, AAC champs and have only a loss at Notre Dame. In my mind they’d deserve a New Year’s Day Six bowl, and no one would want to play them.

–If you ask me to list the top four teams, I’m saying Alabama, Michigan State, Oklahoma and then Clemson.

–SI.com’s bowl projections here…

4. Say ‘Hello’ To My Little Friends*

*The judges will also accept “Let’s Make Adele” or “Dude, You’re Getting Adele.”

The classroom instrument performances are my favorite thing that Jimmy Fallon and his crew does (granted, it’s really the only thing I like). Adele sat in with Jimmy and The Roots to perform Hello and to demonstrate, once again, that wherever she opens her mouth, she has a once-in-a-generation set of pipes.

5. The War

So in case we don’t see you again until Friday, here’s a pitch for one way to spend your Thanksgiving weekend/holiday season in terms of NetFlix: watch Ken Burns‘ 7-part series from 2007, The War. It’s all about World War 2 and it’ll make you marvel about the sacrifices that millions of Americans –and so many others — made in order to combat true evil.

The opening: “The greatest cataclysm in history grew out of ancient and ordinary human emotions: anger and arrogance and bigotry. Victimhood, and the lust for power. And it ended because other human qualities –courage and perseverance and selflessness; faith, leadership and the hunger for freedom, combined with unimaginable brutality to change the course of human events.”

Sound familiar?

I cannot think of a simply more worthwhile way to spend whatever leisure time you have than to watch this series. It’s more than a history lesson: it’s a primer for the current events of both the world and this country, and it’s a reminder of the best (and worst) in all of us.

I’ve already gotten too preachy on this (“On this!?!” On everything, but go on…), but I’ll just add that I absolutely love this song from it, written by George Scheer and sung by Norah Jones, “American Anthem.” And I’ll jot down the lyrics that really hit home below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kgus2N3CcUs

For those who think

They have nothing to share

Who fear in their hearts

There is no hero there

Know each quiet act

Of dignity is

That which fortifies

The soul of a nation

That never dies

Music 101

Alice’s Restaurant

Arlo Guthrie’s 1967 classic is a Thanksgiving tradition in many a home, including mine. Of course, it’s just me and a cat and the cat doesn’t really care one way or the other. Anyway, the Vietnam-era musical monologue is 18-plus minutes, so put your feet up. Related: Guthrie is performing the song this week in western Massachusetts, which is where the story is based.

Remote Patrol

Thursday

Panthers at Cowboys

CBS 4:30 p.m.

The only credit I can find on this photo is Associated Press. But it’s real and it’s spectacular.

Cam’s Crew is 10-0. Dallas is 3-0 with Tony Romo and 0-7 without him. Sort of a must-win game for the Stars Helmets, as bad as the NFC East is. Suggested complementary reading: Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk, by Ben Fountain, which chronicles a Turkey Day Cowboy game from the eyes of an Iraq War soldier home on leave. Jussssssst a tad cynical, but very good.

by John Walters

Feliz Cumpleanos, Aylin Mujica!

Starting Five

“Highway to the danger zone…”

1. Turkey Shoot*

*The judges will also accept, “Cold, Turkey” and “Land Baste Weaponry”

Dig: During Thanksgiving week all of your turkey news should be a lower-cased “t.” Instead, Turkey shoots down a Russian fighter jet because it claims that it warned the pilot 10 times that he was flying over Turkish air space and that he ignored the warnings (or perhaps he didn’t speak Turkish?). That’s called “Putin your planes where they don’t belong.”

Rule No. 83: “Never play chicken in Turkey.”

Related: Russia now claims it was flying not in Turkey but in Turducken. Sounds acceptable. And like a former Soviet republic, no?

2. Ches King

Ches: Threepeat after me!

For the third consecutive year, Oregon’s Edward Cheserek wins the NCAA Men’s Outdoor Cross Country championship (if there’s an Indoor Cross Country championship, it should take place entirely in Tom Brady’s California mansion). Cheserek crossed the tape for the 10K in 28:45, nearly 26 seconds ahead of the second-place finisher. That is kind of sick.

Two men had previously won three individual NCAA XC individual titles, but they did so over a 4-year span: Henry Rono of Washington State (1976, ’77 and ’79) and the immortal Steve Prefontaine (who obviously was not) of Oregon (1970, ’71 and ’73).

Cheserek and Rono were Kenyan-born. Pre was from Coos Bay, Oregon.

Rice, who barely stood 5’5″, was known as “Little Dynamo.” He later gave birth to a son named Tony who led Notre Dame to a national title in football (wait; I’m going to fact-check that one)

Incidentally, Molly Seidel of Notre Dame won the women’s race. No other Notre Dame female had even won an individual title, but Greg Rice of Notre Dame won a pair of titles in 1937 and ’39. Rice never competed in the Olympics due to World War II, but he was a five-time champion in the 5,000 meters in the USATF championships and once won 65 races in a row over a three-year span. Not bad.

3. The Shot Seen ’round the World

Today marks the 52nd anniversary of the killing of Lee Harvey Oswald. The man who took this photograph, Bob Jackson, would win the Pulitzer Prize for this. Before snapping this photo, Jackson felt like a failure because two days earlier he was six cars behind JFK when the first shot rang out. The problem? Jackson was between rolls of film in his camera.

According to this story, Jackson actually looked up to the Texas Book Depository after hearing the second and third shots and saw a rifle being pulled inside, but had no way to take a photo of it. If he had, think of all the gained man-hours from the dearth of conspiracy theories.

The man in the cowboy hat, Jim Leavelle, was a homicide detective who was in the 13th year of a 25-year career with the Dallas P.D. He is still alive at the age of 95 years (so is Jackson, by the way; he’s 82).

4. The Daily Harrumph! Mom’s Basement Tapes

Spencer Hall: The early years

In this corner: The 20th century, hard-copy, hard deadlines, writing to a specific word count, a travel budget, “Your credentials will be at will call,” and hand-to-hand combat journalism.

And in that corner: Millennials, the internet, “I filed this story 20 minutes ago, why isn’t it on the home page yet?”, writing “for exposure” (read: no pay), hot takes, “Why do you need to travel? The game’s on TV,” a lack of accountability with the people you write about, and a very poor career choice (if you ever hope to own a home car or start a family — unless your wife has a good job).

Who’s right in the entire Wilbon vs. The New Mean Bloggers debate? Both of them, of course. Wilson (and Tony) have a point that young writers think they should be able to fly before they learn how to walk, and those two started by working beats. On the other hand, the jobs, they are sparse, and the internet does not care about quality or proof-reading or even objectivity, it only cares about page views. I mean, “Is Joe Flacco a elite quarterback?”

5. T-Swizzle Stick

At the risk of the PC Police coming down on me and hard for body shaming, isn’t our favorite pop starlet looking a little thin? (If I were crass, I’d write, “There’s a ‘Blank Space’ and it’s inside your stomach.” Fortunately, I’m not crass.).

I’m worried about Taylor. Please give yourself some time off and get healthier. Lecture over.

Music 101

Whenever God Shines His Light

I’ve already posted a Van Morrison tune here before, but some artists bear repeating. This is yet another Van the man song that would be just as welcome in a house of worship. Nothing like an Irishman with a strong sense of spirituality. This 1989 tune never made it to the Billboard charts; it’s just too damn good for such a secular rating.

Remote Patrol

LoLakers at Warriors

TNT 10:30 p.m.

Kobe, Curry. Curry, Kobe. Do you realize that four of the major characters in this game –those two, plus Klay Thompson and Luke Walton — are all 2nd-generation NBAers? Some day everyone in the NBA will be the progeny of an NBA player. It’ll be an entirely different sub-species.

by John Walters

Miley Cyrus turns 23!

Starting Five

1. Cam-Demonium

Granted, I always hoped that the Carolina Panthers would rechristen themselves the Charlotte Raes (“Mr. Drummond!”), but here they are even more perfect than the New England Patriots (10-0 to 9-0, at least for a few more hours) on the week of Thanksgiving. Cam Newton has entered his prime, Jonathan Stewart is a beast at running back (not having to do a nightly TV show as well has allowed him to focus), and let’s face it, almost the entire rest of the NFC has taken the season off.

The Panthers are at Dallas on Thanksgiving Day, which is going to be fun. The Cowboys have won 1 in a row after losing seven straight, and yet still are just two games out of first place in the NFC East. Tony Romo will be behind center for the non-Texan Texans.

2. Sime-Plicity

Sime (left) had never lost to Bobby Morrow (right) before an injury cost him a shot at the ’56 Olympics. Morrow went on to win the 100, 200, and 4×100 relay and be named SI’s “Sportsman of the Year”

That’s Christian McCaffrey’s grandfather (and Ed McCaffrey’s father-in-law0, Dave Sime, on the left. In 1960 he won the silver medal in the men’s 100 meters at the Rome Olympics and should have taken gold running the anchor leg in the men’s 4 x 100, but two of his teammates had a handoff outside the zone.

Even though ESPN did not mention CM in its Top 5 last Thursday night, he should be headed to NYC as a Heisman finalist.

At Duke Sime played baseball and football as well and in 2001 he was named Duke’s Outstanding Athlete of the 20th Century (take that, Christian Laettner). Sime then went on to become a leading ophthalmologist who was the Miami Dolphin team doctor. His grandson had 389 all-purpose yards versus Cal on Saturday night.

Here’s my story on the two of them in Newsweek.

3. Reports of Glenn’s Death Are Greatly Exasperated

Talk about a dumpster fire…

So Glenn, whom we last saw three episodes prior, apparently survived being flat on the ground, surrounded by zombies, and lying prone beneath a friend whose own innards were being devoured by the walkers on The Walking Dead. Ooooooooooooookay, sure.

Show runner Scott Gimple and his creative team went too far with this one, and now they have a show that is itself a zombie: meandering around aimlessly, with no soul. I did not see Talking Dead, but I do wonder how host Chris Hardwick (Happy 44th Birthday, by the way!) handled this abomination.

4. Her Heart Will Go On

At the American Music Awards, Taylor Swift grabs more hardware (“Blank Space” over “Uptown Funk” for Single of the Year is the greatest of travesties), but Celine Dion garners all of the attention by paying tribute to the victims of the Paris attacks with a song by Edith Piaf, Hymme a L’Amour.

5. Air Guitar Hero

Sure, maybe the 4th spot in the College Football Playoff still goes through the state of Oklahoma –we’ll see — but how about Michigan State? Playing without its starting quarterback on the road, Sparty upset the defending national champions when kicker Michael Geiger nailed the game-winning field goal from 41 yards out last time expired.

Loved the old school Big Ten final score: 17-14. Loved that Urban Meyer chose not to look as Geiger, a Toledo native, attempted the GWFG, but instead turned his back and looked toward the stands. Loved that Geiger sprinted downfield, windmilling it the entire way. Eddie Van Halen would be proud.

And yes, I think Michigan State is more deserving of being in the Top 4 currently than Iowa, what with wins at Columbus and Ann Arbor while having beaten Oregon at home. Their lone defeat came on a verrrrrry sketchy call in Lincoln. Not that it really matters, as The Fighting Dantonios will meet Iowa in two weeks and we can settle it there (unless the Hawkeyes boink at Nebraska themselves this weekend).

My Top 4 as of TODAY: 1. Alabama 2. Clemson 3. Michigan State 4. Oklahoma. Irish jussssst out of that 4th spot. Have looked  moribund past two weeks.

Music 101

I’d Really Love To See You Tonight

This 1976 tune by England Dan & John Ford Coley reached No. 2 on the Billboard chart and No. 1 on the Adult Contemporary chart. Dan Fogelberg still cannot believe that he did not write or perform this (but he didn’t). The duo performed the tune on James at 16 (great show, by the way), and they shoe-horned it in by saying that England Dan was the uncle of one of the two characters. What Evs.

Remote Patrol

Bills at Patriots

ESPN 8 p.m.

Sammy Watkins has lived up to the hype

New England attempts to improve to 10-0 versus Rex Ryan and the Bills, who are better this season but still just thrilled to be a part of Monday Night Football.