by John Walters

Starting Five

The man who performed ‘Last Christmas’ passes away on Christmas at age 53

Bye, George

George Michael always reminded me a little of Freddie Mercury. Both were master showmen, outstanding performers with powerful voices and incredible vocal range. Both Brits, but from a non-WASP heritage. Mercury’s family was Persian, Michael’s was Greek. Both gay or bisexual, though that was kept quiet in the beginning. Both died too early: Mercury of AIDS at age 45, Michael from heart failure at 53.

Both created songs that were incredibly diverse, though often comparable to one of the other’s: “Faith” is a stripped-down acoustic guitar ditty, like “Crazy Little Thing Called Love.” “Freedom” build to a fantastic climax, not unlike “Under Pressure.” “I Want Your Sex’ is an overt come-on, just like “Body Language.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPJiuqp1LS4

Michael got his Freddie on at a Freddie Mercury tribute show in 

Michael owed a lot of his early fame to MTV, and the visual aspect of his art (especially on “Faith” and “I Want Your Sex”) occluded for a time what an incredible artist he was. But he was terrific. “Freedom! 90” is my favorite video of the MTV era, by the way.

And in hi slater years, Michael didn’t mind taking the piss out of his image. He had a wonderful self-mocking cameo in the series finale of Extras and an appearance with James Corden’s old Smithy character a few years back was the genesis of “Carpool Karaoke.”

2. Kyrie Irving Traveled

Watch it for yourself. Slow it down. Blatant travel. Great shot, though.

Okay, it’s only a December game, and Golden State blew a 13-point lead—it was 95-82 with just over eight minutes to play when the Dubs seemed to get a defensive rebound but then someone tipped it out of Durant’s hand and then threw a pass to a wide open Kevin Love for a dunk under the basket and suddenly the Cavs were alive—and sure, the Cavs made a great comeback, but on the go-ahead bucket with 3.4 seconds to play, Kyrie Irving traveled.

They don’t care about traveling any more in the NBA.

The Cavs have now beaten the Dubs four in a row.

3. Fibula Frustration

Mariota and Carr suffered broken fibulas within hours of one another

On Christmas eve, quarterbacks Marcus Mariota of the Tennessee Titans and Derek Carr of the Oakland Raiders suffer broken fibulas and will be out for the remainder of the season. For the Titans, that’s just one more game, but for the Raiders, who are 12-3 and headed to their first postseason since 2002, this is devastating. Unless you happen to be a big Matt McGloin fan.

As ESPN’s Adam Schefter reported (we don’t refer to him as “Schefty” here), Carr becomes the first NFL QB since the playoffs began in 1933 to start 12 games for a playoff-bound team and NOT start in their playoff game. Bummer for the Silver & Black. We were looking forward to watching the Raiders return to Foxboro in January 15 years after the Tuck Rule moment.

4. Tis Better To Give Than Recieve

Maybe someone who will soon be relocating to another city and moving into a home that only has two stories needs autocorrect:

I gave millions of dollars to DJT Foundation, raised or recieved millions more, ALL of which is given to charity, and media won’t report!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 27, 2016

Not only does the president-elect misspell “receive,” but the facts of this tweet are highly dubious (because Trump won’t release his tax returns). It is known that the most Trump ever gave to his own foundation in one year is $35,000 and it is also known that he used it as his own private piggy bank on a number of occasions. How much anyone who needed charity ever got from it is not known.

Con man in the White House who will soon probably get you’re/your or there/their/they’re wrong on Twitter.

5. Exit The Diaco

The University of Connecticut fires Bob Diaco on Boxing Day after three seasons and 11 wins. The Huskies went from 2-10 to 6-7 to this year, 3-9. The funny part is that I wonder if Brian Kelly would have offered his first D.C. his old job back if Diaco had been canned two weeks earlier. Instead, Notre Dame hired Steve Mike Elko as its D.C.

I assume Diaco took the news well, then hopped into his car and headed west, solo, in search of that waitress from Wisconsin. Later, he’ll make a pit stop in Oklahoma, get beaten up, give away his Cadillac, then continue onto California where he’ll have a moment of catharsis on a cliff above the Pacific.

When The Diaco realizes he’s getting a $3.47 million buyout, or nearly $300 per victory over three years.

Honestly, though, it’s way past time for northeastern schools to form their own conference (and to tell the ACC and B1G to screw themeselves). Here are your 12 newly minted Big East Schools:

Fuggedaboutit Division

Syracuse, Boston College, UConn, UMass, Army, Rutgers

Up Yours Division

Penn State, Maryland, Temple, Navy, Pittsburgh, Buffalo

This would be terrific. And I don’t care about Jim Delany’s TV footprint. People in the northeast would enjoy this football for its own sake. The renewed rivalries would be fantastic.

Music 101

Roadrunner

If HBO’s Vinyl had continued to Season 2, we might have learned about The Modern Lovers, a real band out of Massachusetts that modeled itself after The Velvet Underground and is largely responsible for the “protopunk” movement. You didn’t hear their songs on AM radio in the mid-Seventies, but bands such as The Ramones and The Sex Pistols knew who they were. That’s Jonathan Richman, who still performs solo today, on vocals. This song came out in 1972.

Remote Patrol

Kennedy Center Honors

CBS 9 p.m.

The Eagles, Al Pacino and James Taylor are honored

Frontline: Exodus

PBS 9 p.m.

This is the best television journalism around today. Tonight’s report is on Syrian refugees in Europe and the troubles on both sides of the story.

by Bill Hubbell

It’s do or die for the Heat tonight, if you lose the first two at home you are d-o-n-e. Done. Blah, Blah, Blah….

Tonight’s game, like game one, counts as one game. If the Heat win the series is tied. If the Spurs win they’re up 2-0, nothing more, nothing less. The talking heads are about to come on and tell you otherwise, they’ll try to dazzle you with a few parlor tricks and tell you tales of “code reds”…. they even might try to cut into a few officers….

Forget it. I butchered that quote too. Anyway, there’s a game in Miami tonight and the winner is one game closer to winning four times. Would it surprise anyone if the Spurs won tonight and the Heat won two in San Antonio? No, it wouldn’t, so let’s keep a little perspective tonight.

I read somewhere that everyone over the age of 40 wants the Spurs to win and everyone under 30 wants the Heat to win. People in their 30’s are too busy wondering what the hell they’re going to do with their lives to care. No, I’ve misremembered John’s quote, I’m sure people in their 30’s want someone to win.

I’m well into my 40’s and I want the Spurs for all the same reasons most people do. I don’t hate Lebron, but the Heat are certainly a contrived bunch. They seem to be able to live with that, so whatever.

My favorite player in the series is Kawhi Leonard, who we got to know quite well at the Mountain West Sports Network while he played at San Diego State. Great kid, great back story. He probably should have been drafted a lot higher than 15th two years ago. Right now he might go 3rd in a re-draft behind only Kyrie Irving and Klay Thompson. Yes, everything is situational, by Kawhi bats fourth on a fantastic team and has acquitted himself quite well.

Speaking of the 2011 draft, someone please rescue Jimmer from Sacramento. Mark my words, he’ll be better than ok at some point, but never in Sacramento. There couldn’t have been a worse spot for him to land. I can’t imagine Tyreke Evans and Muzzy Cousins are thinking they have to get that Fredette kid more shots. Flip Saunders, are you listening? The kid can shoot.

The pre-game show is starting now.

Starting Five

“Chaos is not a pit; chaos is a ladder” — Littlefinger, a.k.a. Lord Baelish, to Varys, in “Game of Thrones”

Lord Baelish: The Roger Sterling of Westeros

1. Oh, he is cunning, that Littlefinger. He is full of cun. In the latest episode of “Game of Thrones”, Lord Baelish gives Varys a tutorial on how to make a power-play when one does not actually possess power. Meanwhile, a dwarf is being paired with a teenage orphan while an incestuous queen is due to be betrothed to a “sword swallower, through and through.” Is this King’s Landing or Knot’s Landing?

Sansa and Theon would make a great couple, no? Sure, they’re step-siblings, but since when has that ever stopped love in Westeros?

Two more thoughts:

1) Foods that should be on Jaime Lannister’s menu: chicken wings and soup. Foods that should not be on Jaime Lannister’s menu: over-stuffed sammiches and sushi.

2) It was funny to listen to Tywin Lannister and Lady Olenna negotiate the marriages between their children while using their sexual pecaddillos as trump cards. Were you like me? Were you thinking, Okay, you may be post-menopausal, Lady Olenna, and you may have a little difficulty with your sword these days, Tywin, but it is you two kids who should be wed just so that you’ll have someone to hit the early-bird specials with at the King’s Landing Denny’s.

2. Mayweather Report
May weather at Churchill Downs Saturday: soggy. Mayweather in Las Vegas on Saturday night: once again, insuperable. In Louisville the pre-race favorite, Orb (as our faithful friend, An Inconvenient Ruth, noted, “He must have a dyslexic twin named ‘Bro'”), won a rain-saturated Kentucky Derby, the 139 edition, on Saturday afternoon. Was his father a mudder? Was his mother a mudder?

Horse racing: where gambling is suddenly not taboo.

Later that evening at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, Floyd Mayweather, who works as many days out of the year as Santa Claus, dominated Robert Guerrero in a 12-round decision to move his career record to 44 wins, 0 losses. After the exhibition Mayweather, who was wearing a baseball cap, praised Guerrero’s effort and said, “I take my hat off to him.” Although he actually did not doff his cap.

Floyd’s cap reads “The Money Team.” The ring is his ATM.

3. Gareth Bale

Before Orb was making hay and Floyd was throwing haymakers on Saturday, we were shouting, “Hey, Bale!” at the TV as Tottenham Hotspur were battling Southampton on the pitch. The match was scoreless in the 86th minute when Gareth Bale, who by the time the World Cup rolls around next year in Brazil will probably be recognized as the world’s greatest player, slammed home a screamer from just outside the penalty box. The Welshman has the rugged good looks and the powerful leg of a man who, in a previous era, would already be dating a Spice Girl or three. Tottenham, which is currently in fourth place in the EPL (a Top Four spot ensures qualification for the next season’s UEFA Champions League), meets fellow Top-Four club Chelsea on Wednesday. Stay tuned…

His winning strike: The jury is not out on Bale.

(I just realized that this entire post, to this point, could have been written by Adam Duerson. All it needs is a mention of RAGBRAI and a competitive-eating contest).

4. A “New Rules” closing rant in which Bill Maher declares that we are not fighting a War On Terror, but rather a “War Against Losers.” When you think about it, the Shoe bomber failed to light his show, the underwear bomber succeeded only in lighting his genitals, and the Times Square Bomber locked himself out of his vehicle. And the Tsarnaev brothers never had a getaway plan, much less an idea that, you know, chances are there might be a few video surveillance cameras on Boylston Street. Not to diminish the deaths or maimings of anyone in Boston – a homicide is a homicide is a homicide –but Adam Lanza killed more Americans than all of the aforementioned “enemy combatants” combined. In fact, more NATO servicemen (seven) died in Afghanistan on Saturday.

Martin Richard

One more question: Why do news sites show photos of Dzhokhar that make him look like a sweet-eyed stoner as opposed to a mug shot? Is there a mug shot? Why haven’t we seen it? Meanwhile, Boston affiliate WCVB had a really cool idea: a photo gallery of the victims.

5. Finally, a marriage that Don Draper can live with.
SCDP weds CGC and, yes, I noticed that this was the second time this season that Don Draper took up residence at a hotel bar alone at night, was happened upon not be a leggy female but instead by a man, and then found himself as part of a wedding party the following morning.

Roger Sterling: His Chevy chase pays off. Oh, he’s a closer, alright.

Suddenly things are looking brighter for Don –and maybe even Peggy –but beware the blooms of May, 1968. Robert Kennedy’s assassination is probably going to be a focal point of the next episode and with his death comes a pall that will hang over America until either Ronald Reagan is elected (1980) or the Starland Vocal Band releases “Afternoon Delight.” (1976). I’ll allow you to be the judge.

P.S. My guess is that the Chevy is either a Chevelle or a new-model Corvette.

Shortened post, as the steakateria beckons. My apologies. As always the Medium Happy Tip Jar accepting doughnations on PayPal at sameriver@hotmail.com. Thank you!

Starting Five

“Our player hit him, but 61 is the one to blame.”

–Ottawa Senators coach Paul MacLean, on the ugly hit that left Montreal’s Lars Eller facedown in his own pool of blood in Game 1 of their playoff series. Eller, reaching for a pass from defenseman Raphael Diaz near his own blue line, took a blindside check to the face from Ottawa’s Eric Gyrba. He was likely out cold before he even face-planted to the ice, which is quite the unforgiving surface.

1. “I don’t think it is really serious.” These were the words of Bangladeshi Finance Minister Abul Maal Abdul Mahith in response to the “accident” that has now claimed more than 500 lives in Bangladesh. As you know, an illegally constructed factory collapsed, killing hundreds of workers inside. “It’s an accident,” said Abdul Mahith of the deadliest garment-factory event in history. “It happens everywhere.”

Will the shirt hit the fan?

2. Germans to invade London — this time minus the Luftwaffe.

We neglected to mention yesterday that it will be an all-Deutschland Champions League Final on May 25 inside Wembley Stadium, as long-time Bavarian power Bayern Munich (“SCHWEINSTEIGER!”) meets fellow Bundesliga club Borussia Dortmund. The two clubs actually play a league match tomorrow, though Bayern has already won the league and Borussia clinched second.  It has been five years since two clubs from the same country (Manchester United and Chelsea, both from the UK) met in a Champions League Final.

Bastian Schweinsteiger: We think this is what Hitler had in mind…

3. Portland Trail Blazer guard Damian Lillard, the sixth overall selection in last June’s NBA Draft, is the unanimous choice for Rookie of the Year (only three previous players — Blake Griffin, David Robinson and Ralph Sampson — were unanimous winners). See how much better Portland does on draft day when the Blazers do NOT have the No. 1 or 2 overall pick (um, Sam Bowie over Michael Jordan in 1984 and Greg Oden over Kevin Durant in 2007)? The six-foot-three Weber State product, who predicted he’d win this award before he was drafted last summer, played all 82 games, led all rookies in scoring (19 ppg), assists (6.5) and minutes (38.6) while breaking Stephen Curry’s record for threes by a rookie (185 to 166).

He tried to warn you

4. I think in the world of Twitter I would type something like, “This 10,000 times” in introducing this link. I wish I had written this myself because what Stephen Marche has done here in describing the crusade of Louis C.K. is pull his “Nail On the Head” hammer out of his toolbox and use it to perfection (“Louis C.K. is on a clandestine mission to make America a better place, and his values are surprisingly traditional once you get past the cum jokes.”)

Riffs such as “Everything’s Amazing and Nobody’s Happy” and “Of Course, But Maybe” belong in the Comedy Hall of Fame. Is there a Comedy Hall of Fame (I’m glad you asked)? And if there is, does it have a two-drink minimum?

5. That southern California wildfire has consumed more than 10,000 acres in Ventura County (and quite likely Gavin Smith’s hidden corpse, not to put too fine a point on it) in the past few days.

Earth, Air, Fire, Water. The four classical elements.

Reserves

“Kill all the lawyers.” Well, except maybe this one. A Portland lawyer/guitarist performs a good deed for a local septuagenarian ax man whom he has never even met (I’d still kill most of the lawyers; although I think we could kill all of the consultants first, no?)

Americanos

My favorite under-the-radar band, Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers, invades Manhattan on Saturday (but I’ll be busy steakateria’ing, alas). If you live here, check them out at B.B. King’s. Or wait until Roger visits a venue near you. The only artist I’ve ever seen who has as solid a relationship with his fans live is Bruce Springsteen. And, if you buy the Tempe, Ariz., native a shot of Don Julio during the show, he’ll down it. Here are two songs to get you started: “Maybe We Should Fall In Love” and “Switchblade.” And here’s a full acoustic set that illustrates the bond between the band and its denizens.

Alice and Roger. Two Valley of the Sun boys who made good musically (and now you can add Nate Reuss of fun. to that list)

Welcome back, Apple. Just two weeks after a first quarter earnings report sent the stock from $405 down to $385 per share (which was ridiculous since the P/E ratio was below 9), it has rebounded by more than 10%. As I type this shares of AAPL are at $452. Meanwhile, a certain steakateria that had its IPO last August is already up more than 50% and was recently upgraded from “Outperform” to “Strong Buy” (jump to the 4:46 mark). This despite a questionable hire it made last September.

Meanwhile, the Dow Jones tops 15,000 for the first time in history and unemployment dips to a four-year low of 7.5%. I blame Obama.

The St. Louis Cardinals get 12 base hits, all singles, in a 6-5 win at Milwaukee (it was like the Teenage Dream or Bad of games for the Cards’ lineup) . All of the Cards’ six runs came with two outs in the third inning. We’ll spend all summer ignoring the Cardinals again until they win the World Series in October. After all, it’s their turn this season, isn’t it?

Black in the Saddle

An African-American jockey, Kevin Krigger, will have the mount on Goldencents, the three year-old that is partially owned by Rick Pitino, in tomorrow’s Kentucky Derby. Oddly enough, while a black jockey has not won the Run for the Roses since 1902 (Krigger is only the second black jockey to even participate in the race since 1921), 15 of the first 28 Derby winners were ridden by black jockeys. And, in the inaugural Derby back in 1875, 13 of the 15 entries were ridden by African-American jockeys.

And while we wish no ill will towards any horse (or jockey), we do wonder what will happen if Goldencents breaks a foreleg tomorrow. Will ESPN choose not to re-air it because it is too gruesome? Or does that only apply to humans under Pitino’s stewardship?

Nichols Nauseates

Is it just me or did Chicago Bulls coach Tom Thibodeaux look as if he wanted to throw up when TNT’s Rachel Nichols asked him between the third and fourth quarters about Nate Robinson’s nausea? Robinson still scored 18 points, but the Bulls lost and we’re headed for a Game 7.

Nate Robinson: Chucker AND upchucker

R.I.P., “Messiah of Sex”

John Williamson has died. No, not the former New Jersey Net. The pioneer of the sexual revolution (and here I thought it was Elvis Presley).

REMOTE PATROL

666 and 6

ESPN and ESPN2, 7 p.m.

For the first time in 10 years, as ESPN’s Neil Everett reports, four Game 6’s will be played on the same day. Indiana at Atlanta and New York at Boston and Indiana at Atlanta tip off the evening, followed by Oklahoma City at Houston and Los Angeles at Memphis. Only one team, the Grizzlies, has the chance to close out the series at home. Boston and Houston are both attempting to become the first team in league history to overcome a 3-0 deficit to win a playoff series.

James Harden makes universal sign for “3-0 Deficit”

Medium Happy Tip Jar: Send all dough-nations to P.O. Box 430, Planetarium Station, NY, NY 10024 or to PayPal at sameriver@hotmail.com . Donors whose gifts exceed $1,000 will receive a Medium Happy tote bag as well as a year’s supply of tote.

Steakateria-shortened post this a.m.

Deja vu for the cities of Boston and New York?

 Starting Five

1. Celtics 92, Knicks 86

Boston and then infamously squander it. No NBA team has ever rebounded from a 3-0 deficit to win a series. I remember reading a similar stat in baseball nine years ago.

2. Sportsgrid managing editor Eric Goldschein pens an insightful, intelligent essay on Chris Broussard’s “right to be an idiot.” Oh, and in case you were wondering, Broussard is married to a gastroenterologist.

To be fair, I once won a game of hangman because I spelled “rhythm” with 2 “y’s” and insisted I was correct.

3. Three friends of Dzhokhar Tsarnaev may have taken loyalty to a criminal level. A federal affidavit alleges that they removed a backpack with empty fireworks cases from his dorm room because “they did not want Tsarnaev to get into trouble.” Do they realize he didn’t tee-pee the U Mass-Dartmouth quad here? That this act killed three people and maimed dozens more?

Azamat Tazhayakov, Diaz Kadyrbayev, and Tsarnaev. (Robel Phillipos, not pictured).

4. “And They’re Off…Watching the Most Exciting Two Minutes on Sports on TV”

Saturday’s Kentucky Derby will have no press box, as Churchill Downs has completely eliminated it for this year’s race and — you guessed it — transformed the area into luxury boxes for the well-heeled. Oh, and I hear that the horses are not giving interviews, either.

5. And then the situation…elevated
The world’s highest-altitude fracas ever may have taken place last Saturday at 23,000 feet, as Sherpas and European climbers engaged in a battle while scaling Mount Everest. According to the Sherpas — and who wouldn’t believe a Sherpa? — the Euros recklessly climbed past them and dislodged ice chunks that fell in their direction. The Sherpas then allegedly told the climbers that if they were not gone in one hour “they would all be killed.” From there it was literally a slippery slope before the situation devolved into fisticuffs.

“Listen: I said ‘Norgay’, not ‘you’re gay.'”

By Tuesday both sides had calmed down and even written a peace treaty to one another. I can only guess that they are all now relaxing and perhaps even sharing a beer back at The Abominable Snowmansion.