Note One (Do): The 11/30 edition has been renamed the 11/35 edition to provide for expanded local news telecasts.

Note Two (Re): Phyllis, a.k.a. Mom, is visiting. We’ll have an abbreviated MH because today, Mom’s All Happening.

Starting Five Starting Two

1. Four of the San Antonio Spurs’ best players, three of whom are future Hall of Famers (Tim Duncan, Tony Parker and Ginobiliiiiiiiiiiii!) did not play in last night’s nationally televised game versus the Miami Heat. In fact, they were not even in Miami. Coach Gregg Popovich had already sent them home from Orlando earlier that day as a ditch day. Many elements to this tale, but perhaps our favorite is that trio plus Danny Green reportedly  flew home on Southwest Airlines. Southwest does not have Business or First Class seating. Did those four have to line up in A, B or C sections like the rest of us do? By the way, if you wore your Nando de Colo jersey (15 points in 34 minutes for San Antonio in the 105-100 loss) last night to American Airlines Arena, good for you.

“I’m not kidding, Nando. You’re starting tonight.”

2. Jon Gruden tells the University of Tennessee thanks but no thanks. He reminds us of the neighbor we once had who went on J-Date and would meet men on a park bench outside the apartment to vet them first before deciding whether or not she’d agree to having a drink with them (we believe she is now the proud owner of six cats). Spencer Hall had a nice take on the hubbub.

3. Unranked Notre Dame beats No. 8 Kentucky in South Bend, 64-50 (i.e., The First Noel beat Nerlens Noel). The Irish hoops team is upset that students rushed the floor (“We were favored, after all.”). Our friend Brian Hamilton of the Chicago Tribune, who spends an awful lot of time around Notre Dame sports programs, don’t you think, tweets out that someone made a “RICK REILLY PICKED KENTUCKY” sign (I’ll never confess). Speaking of which, Deadspin had Brian do a live chat about Notre Dame football a couple of days ago and he was his typically witty, sardonic and even self-deprecating self. If I had known this was going on, I would have asked, “Tell us about the great press box pizza heist of 2008!”

Manti Teo’s’ sack of Jack Cooley will not count toward his season total

4. Louisville beats Rutgers in football, which should allow the Cardinals to advance to the Orange Bowl to meet the champion of the ACC, the conference they will be joining shortly. If Rick Reilly wants to discuss “college football” and “irrelevant” in the same column, he should write one about the Orange Bowl. It used to be like hanging out with your wild high school friends on Christmas Day after having dinner with your family (the Rose Bowl), but now it’s more like going to see that matinee with all the other sad sacks.

5. New Orleans Satints vs. Atlanta Falcons, a.k.a “The Egged Bowl.” Falcons exorcise demon of the Saints (?) while picking off Drew Brees five times while also ending his NFL-record streak of 54 consecutive games while throwing a touchdonw pass. Actually, Brees did throw a TD pass to Darren Sproles, but it was nullified by an offensive pass interference call on a tight end Jimmy Graham, who was not even involved in the play (Thanks, Jimmy) . Brees has now been intercepted seven times in the past five days. Brett Favre salutes him.

Reserves

The forecast is for heavy rain in Palo Alto tonight for the Pac-12 Championship game between UCLA and Stanford. Well, the song is not titled “It Never Rains in Northern California.” (and, yes, the dude singing this song is the father of a member of The Strokes).

Direct from our sidekick, Bill Hubbell: Former Domers Luke Harangody and Troy Murphy were waived yesterday, while former U Conn stud Jeremy Lamb was assigned to an NBA D-League squad. Harangody is the second all-time leading scorer in Irish history.

ESPN aired a fantastic moment from last night’s Spurs-Heat game in which Charles Barkley is interviewing Coach Pop between quarters. Sir Charles asks Pop two questions, and the four-time NBA champ is sunny and open answering them. When Barkley attempts to ask a third, Pop interrupts him and reminds him that he is only permitted two questions. That’s all the insight you need to what happened last night. There is no rule against Popovich sending his players home for extra rest, and so he did what he was permitted to do. Pop isn’t about selling the NBA; he’s about winning.

And ask yourself, by the way, how many times the Spurs have made the cover of Sports Illustrated during his tenure there. As compared to, say, the Lakers or the Heat.

Senate Democratic leader Harry Reid says of Republican House Majority leader John Boehner, “I don’t understand his brain.” So you may want to get your fiscal cliff parachute ready.

The back page of the New York Post is a paparrazzi photo of a supposedly pudgy Derek Jeter. The New York Yankees have never played an MLB game in December.

New York’s Finest’s finest: Officer Lawrence De Primo, 25, buys boots for a homeless man and a passerby snaps a photo. Internet virality ensues. As the lede in this story says, “Character is what you do when no one is watching.”

 1. Our pal Riles, alias Rick Reilly, arrives in South Bend for his mea culpa tour. Notre Dame WR John Goodman tweets “has Reilly left the Gug yet? I don’t want to run into him and act excited to see him.” Notre Dame’s Sports Info Dept could learn a lot from John Goodman.

2. Mike Krzyzewski has a bald spot. Duke beat Ohio State (we may have buried the lede). The Blue Devils (7-0) have already beaten No. 3 Kentucky, No. 2 Louisville and No. 4 Ohio State and it’s not even Advent yet. Mason Plumleehad 23 points, 17 rebounds, and one air-balled free throw at the end of the game that almost no one noticed.

Plumlee: All-American or adverb? Or both?

3. The Phoenix Suns, on the second night of a back-to-back through the Rust Belt, lose by 40 at Detroit, which opened the season 0-8. The Suns, once piloted by assist machine Steve Nash, had zero assists in the second quarter and went almost the entire third quarter before achieving one. Coach Alvin Gentry declares his team’s play below “NCAA quality.”

4. Winners of the $587 million Powerball lottery are in Arizona and Missouri. This may explain why my brother is not returning my phone calls this morning.

5. The Honey Badger, Tyrann Mathieu, has said he will make himself eligible for the 2013 NFL Draft. A Heisman Trophy finalist a year ago, Mathieu was booted from LSU’s team for substance abuse issues. Mathieu entertained the prospects of staying at LSU and returning to the team in 2013, or possibly playing at a lower level school. At 5’9″, 175 lbs, with a basket full of character issues, he’s probably a third or fourth round pick at best. Mathieu need only look as far as Vontaze Burfict or Leonard Johnson to see undrafted rookies who are having great first years in the NFL.

Reserves

Well, why not? A cat fight broke out a viewing for the deceased Hector “Macho” Camacho in Puerto Rico. Cynthia Castillo, Camacho’s alleged girlfriend got into a scratching fight with his longtime girlfriend and a couple of his sisters at Tuesday’s wake. Camacho had one of my biggest “No F’ing Way” moments in covering sports. Back in 1994 at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas for a weigh-in before his loss to Felix Trinidad, Camacho had been relatively subdued (for him), in front of a packed crowd in the MGM theatre. Comes time for him to step on the scale and in the blink of an eye, Camacho tossed aside his towel and jumped on the scale wearing only an ear to ear grin. He shook it a little at the gasping, howling crowd, shrugged his shoulders and yelled out his line, “I’m just a macho man!”

Gregg Popovich continues to flip it to NBA Commissioner David Stern. With the Spurs scheduled for TNT Thursday night in a marquee matchup in Miami, Popovich flew Tim Duncan, Tony Parker, Manu Ginobili and Jeff Green back home to San Antonio to rest. It might be fun to hear Mr. Barkley talk about this in pregame, but everyone will turn the channel click elsewhere after that.

Minnesota Wild backup goaltender Josh Harding announced that he has MS on Wednesday, but vowed that he’ll keep playing. “No you won’t,” said Donald Fehr.

Starting Five

1. Indiana University, which blew out North Carolina by 24 points last night in hoops, is located in Bloomington, Ind. The Hoosiers are also the nation’s top ranked basketball squad. Three-and-a-half to four hours due north (depending on how you catch the lights in Kokomo) in South Bend, Ind., the University of Notre Dame is 12-0 and No. 1 in the nation in football. The last time the nation’s No. 1 basketball and football teams were located in the same state simultaneously? Mid-January of 2007, when the University of Florida had just defeated Ohio State to win the BCS National Championship while the Gators hoops squad was 13-1 and No. 1 in the nation.

Cody Zeller led the Hoosiers to a win over big bro Tyler’s former school

2. Who is Grover Norquist and why should you care? Norquist, 56, is not an elected official but rather a conservative lobbyist who has become the face of the anti-tax crusade. Norquist founded Americans for Tax Reform in 1985 and… you’re already moving on to No. 3, aren’t you? Let’s skip directly to his famous quote: “I’m not in favor of abolishing the government. I just want to shrink it down to the size where we can drown it in the bathtub.” You’ll be seeing a lot of Norquist on cable news shows as we flail into the fiscal abyss.

3. Ross Parmley, athletic director at Tulsa, goes on administrative leave as the university investigates allegations that he has had “dealings” with an alleged bookie. In other news, tonight’s Powerball jackpot has soared past $500 million and somehow, magically we guess, the spread on the Alabama-Georgia SEC Championship game has dropped from 7.5 to 7 points.

4. Led Zeppelin guitarist Jimmy Page, 68, appears on the cover of the Rolling Stone. Page joins fellow 2012 Rolling Stone cover subjects David Bowie (65), Neil Young (67) Sir Paul McCartney (70), Bruce Springsteen (63) and Bob Dylan (71) and Jimi Hendrix (deceased, but would be 70). It’s a funny thing when the President of the United States appears on more RS covers than any one musician in a calendar year and is YOUNGER than at least seven of them. Rock is not dead, but it is in dire need of a hip (or hip-hop) replacement.

Ramble On: Page spent eight hours talking to RS for his cover interview, but revealed very little

5. Louisville may join the ACC. Tulane has joined the Big East. As has a directional Carolina that is not North or South. Jon Gruden may or may not join Tennessee. To quote a charming Southerner we once saw on television, “I’m very drunk and I intend on getting still drunker before this evening’s over...”(sorry, right character, wrong quote) “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

Like Rhett, we’d rather go fight Yanks than listen to any more realignment rumors

Reserves

RIP, belly putter. We will admit to playing very little golf, but the belly putter always seemed like cheating to us. We’d never use it on a putt-putt course.

Johnny Football speaks to the media for the first time this season and reminds us of every loveable yokel you’ve ever come across in a combat film. He’s the kid who’s so sweet that you just know he’s going to take one to the belly and suffer an agonizing death. We’re thinking Giovanni Ribisi in “Saving Private Ryan.” (“Give him the morphine”).

“Just tell my mother that I beat Alabama.”

Realizing now that three of the past four Sports Illustrated covers have featured teams from the Hoosier State: Cody Zeller of Indiana, Manti Te’o of Notre Dame and now Andrew Luck of the Indianapolis Colts. Is it too much to hope for a Fort Wayne Mad Ants cover story?

This is Sean Sonderleiter. Funny, he doesn’t look mad.

New Yahoo! CEO Marissa Mayer, a Wisconsin native who is only 37 (the youngest Fortune 500 CEO out there) and, let’s face it, kind of hot, gives a rare interview and reveals that she models herself after Vince Lombardi. We do NOT see Dan Lauria playing the role of Mayer in the Broadway play.

When Bride Still Mattered (See what we did there?)