STARTING FIVE

Sheets, surrounded by Mounties

1. Looney Bin

Regina, Saskatchewan.

It’s no Moose Jaw. It’s no Medicine Hat. It’s not even Saskatoon.

To get there, head west through North Dakota until you arrive at the Montana state line (Have you been there? I have. It makes western Kansas appear bustling), then make a right.

There’s a song by a band called The Weakerthans whose refrain is “I hate Winnipeg” (the title of the song is “One Great City!”) but Winnipeg is London compared to Regina.

And yet Regina can stand tall today because the provincial capital of Saskatchewan is home to this year’s Grey Cup champions. The Roughriders defeated the Hamilton Tiger-Cats (I’m not sure why they employ a hyphen, either) 45-23 last Sunday.

Things to note:

–Former Purdue running back Kory Sheets rushed for 197 yards for the RRs, breaking a 57  year-old Grey Cup record for most rushing yards in a game. Sheets was named the game’s MVP.

–Saskatchewan native Chris Getzlaf, who caught three passes for 78 yards, was named the game’s Most Valuable Canadian. Because that’s a thing.

Heddy (“That’s Hedley!”) provides halftime warmth at the Grey Cup.

–They do a halftime show at the Grey Cup (Canadian native Bieber did NOT perform). The Canadian pop group Hedley performed “Anything” while a snowmobile flew over a ramp at midfield. Seriously.

–Even though the Grey Cup rotates each year to a different venue, the last three host sites have also just happened to be the home stadiums of that year’s Grey Cup champ. Next year’s site: Vancouver, home of the BC Lions (as opposed to Lion-Cats).

–During pre-game introductions, the Roughriders eschewed the Grey Cup (and Super Bowl) tradition of players being announced individually on one side of the ball and instead all stormed the field together.

–I believe it was warmer in Regina’s Mosaic Stadium on Sunday (30 F) than it was in Foxboro’s Gillette Stadium.

—Teddy Roosevelt’s face is not on the side of the Rough Riders’ helmet. No one would tell me why not.

2. 321 Blastoff?

Lynch broke his own single-game rushing record for a quarterback, 316 yards, with last night’s 321-yard effort.

Pushing his way into the Heisman invite conversation? Northern Illinois quarterback Jordan Lynch, who rushed for 321 manly yards on 27 carries in last night’s 33-14 defeat of hap-challenged Western Michigan. Lynch is second in the nation in rushing with 1,755 yards and only one back in the top ten, Wisconsin’s Melvin Gordon, has a higher yards-per-carry average (8.2 to 7.1) than Lynch. More impressive? The Huskies never lost at home in Lynch’s two seasons as a starter, posting a 12-0 record in DeKalb (they’ve actually won 27 straight at home since a 34-31 defeat to Idaho in 2009).

Will all that glory earn the Chicago native a flight to New York City next month? We’ll see. For every outstanding effort, individual or team, in college football, there is a contrarian group who will point out the flaws in that effort. The Lynch mob in fact became so obstreperous last night that it incited the ever-placid Stewart Mandel of SI.com to tweet, “To all the party poopers: If rushing for 321 yards against Western Michigan were so easy, how come everyone doesn’t do it?” which led to ESPN’s Brett McMurphy facetiously noting that this makes his esteemed colleague a “party-pooper pooper.”

3. Wanna Get Away?

Would you rather lose to Dayton in Maui or in Dayton in late November? We thought so.

Cancun. Maui. San Juan. Puerto Vallarta. The Bahamas. Anchorage?

There’s no reason, if you’re a Division I college hoops program, to remain in the Contiguous 48 this week. Thanksgiving week is college basketball’s bowl season, and the itinerant longings, the peregrinations, if you will (I will), have never been more numerous.

C.J. Fair probably loved escaping from Syracuse to Maui this week, but he didn’t enjoy the cut he received on a posterizing dunk.

Is there anything wrong with that? Not necessarily, although if you’ve been watching, as I have, you’ve noticed that some of these arenas have more empty seats than occupied ones. No matter. These are not basketball games so much as they are television programming. ESPN owns many of these “classics” and the TV ad revenue more than compensates for whatever is not earned at the gate. Besides, there’s something about an 11:59 p.m. tip-off (Eastern time) between Dayton and Gonzaga in Maui that we insomniacs love.

Here’s footage of Fair, above, taking one to the cheek versus Minnesota.

4. The Kensington Trio

Swift has now sang backup with a prince, just not THE Prince.

Famous Notre Dame football dad Jon Bon Jovi joined Taylor Swift, whose brother formerly attended Notre Dame, and Prince William, who rightfully so has no affiliation to a school whose teams refer to themselves as the “Fighting Irish”, onstage for a rendition of “Livin’ On A Prayer.” The venue was Kensington Palace outside London and the affair was the Winter White Gala, a charity benefit attended by 200 people which is code for “investment bankers.”

5. The Belcher/Bleacher Report

Belcher. He earned respect for making it to the NFL, and he should earn disdain for ending a woman’s life.

Back in September the web site Gawker decided to fire a cannon volley from its glass-hulled ship at Bleacher Report by leading a story with this sentence: “Bryan Goldberg is the 30 year-old founder of Bleacher Report, an enormously popular sports site written by and for idiots.”

I laughed. I saw the hypocrisy of it all, but I laughed.

Then Bleacher Report hired Howard Beck away from the New York Times. And then it reached out to former Sports Illustrated senior writer Jeff Pearlman to pen a long-form piece on former Kansas City linebacker and murderer Jovan Belcher. 

Twitter, as it is wont to do, splooged all over Jeff with praise regarding the profile. Because, unlike me, most people are too nice to publicly offer a criticism of someone they respect in a field in which they also operate (you may construe this as bad manners on my part or a sincere desire to examine journalism, or both). Or maybe because the art of critical thinking has been lost in the age of “How many Likes did this receive?”

There are some valid empathetic notes sounded here: the relentless pressure an NFL player faces to remain on the field no matter the injuries and aches and pains, as we all know that NFL contracts are not guaranteed; the uphill battle a low-profile player from a school such as the University of Maine faces just to make the league; a player raised by a single parent (mom, of course) going all-in to escape his plight; the chance that Belcher’s murderous behavior –he shot his girlfriend and the mother of his infant child nine times before later turning it on himself–was triggered (sorry) by a concussion suffered the week before and by a series of them before that.

Hear, hear, on all of that.

Here’s the other side of the story, though: a young, uneducated woman becomes pregnant. Her wealthy and highly esteemed boyfriend takes care of the financial side of things, but leaves her no leverage in any other way. He goes out when he wants, with whomever he wants, and does whatever he wants. And comes home whenever he wants.

When Belcher finally secures a million-dollar contract, he buys a Bentley and creates a man cave –this was an extremely telling vignette in Jeff’s story — in his home inside of which he has posted five rules:

1. My cave, my rules.
2. No sitting in my chair.
3. Keep your hands off the remote.
4. Women by invitation only. The best way to be invited—bring alcohol.
5. Any rejection to the rules—please refer to rule No. 1.

What an asshole.

(I mean, if it’s self-parody then it’s funny; but the events that later transpired suggest that it was not)

There’s another side to this story: the victim’s side. Kasandra Perkins’ side. And it was not incumbent upon Jeff to relate that side of the tale, but it may help when reading a story to take the facts and anecdotes for yourself and then to decide for yourself, independently of the author’s tint, what you think.

I may have told this tale here before, but 18 years ago I spent a day with a Kansas City Chief player. Ostensibly, I had come to do a story about how he and his wife co-owned an Italian restaurant (he was African-American, which made the tale more curious to me). When we arrived at his house, just before he opened the door, he said, “Now, John, you’re not going to get me in trouble, are you?”

A moment later a lovely, shapely blonde greeted us with a pitcher of frozen margaritas (it was about 4 p.m. on a Monday). It wasn’t his wife. It was his girlfriend. With whom he lived.

This was and this is the NFL.

So, yes, Jovan Belcher may have been feeling some pressure. We all do. He also took the life of an innocent woman whose greatest crime, I imagine, was getting up in his face about his carousing and cheating and coming in after dawn. You know, of being a bitch.

That’s the other side of this story.

STARTING FIVE

For the bowl, they’ll reenact Stephon Tuitt’s ejection-worthy (?) hit on Tom Savage.

1. Irish Complete 65-Yard TD Pass– at Halftime

The Band of the Fighting Irish is thought to be the oldest university band in continuous existence (Norwich University also makes the claim, but how many films about walk-ons has it been the backdrop for?) and was even on hand for the school’s first football game, on Thanksgiving Day in 1887 (a home loss to Michigan…after which everyone claimed that Notre Dame was, see, overrated).

Anyway, last Saturday, in snowy and blustery conditions in South Bend, the band reenacted a pass from Gus Dorais to Knute Rockne that took place almost exactly a century ago, on November 1, 1913 (they hooked up for more than one completion that day).  As “the pass” was being thrown, those fans who had not retreated to the shelter of the concourse were heard to shout, “Run the goddamn ball, Kelly!”

(The Irish have won 20 straight in games where they have run the ball 30 or more times, according to Pete Sampson of Irish Illustrated).

I may be wrong, but I don’t think that NBC noticed this moment and aired it. If it had, I would’ve enjoyed listening to Mike Mayock deconstruct the play.

2 . “In Bummin’ham, They Love The Guvnuh”

Meet the one elected official who makes Rob Ford appear tame.

He was Phillip Blake before his encounter with Michonne. Now he’s Brian. As one astute viewer of “The Walking Dead” tweeted, “That’s because Brian has one ‘i’.”

The last two episodes of “The Walking Dead” have been entirely devoted to Phillip/Brian, better-known and feared as The Governor. After a brief bout of stumbling through the wilderness — walkers skulked right past him, thinking he was one of them– he’s back with a new woman, a new daughter, and a new platoon of citizen soldiers.

We’re headed for a showdown in the mid-season finale. The Governor versus Rick. Trailer park versus prison. Might-makes-right versus liberty-and-justice-for-all.

3. Get the Message?

Are any of these men Rick Reilly’s father-in-law?

“A touching scene last night at FedEx Field as the Washington Sambos honored the Tuskegee Airmen, whose daring aviation exploits proved invaluable to the Allied effort in World War II.”

Strike that? Try again? Okay.

“A poignant moment last night at FedEx Field as the Washington Israelites, who after all are named for a tribe of people who were forcibly removed from their land, honored their namesakes by reenacting the Masada siege at halftime…”

It should be noted that “Fighting Irish” wasn’t originally intended as a compliment, either. Also it should be noted that the university in question did not name its teams that; fans and the media foisted it upon them. Then the institution and its denizens decided to rally around the term as a point of pride. Which is why nobody ever seems to take umbrage about it.

4. Not Exactly The Way Pops Did It

Antoine’s older brother, Anthony, played at St. John’s and then spent some time in the D League.

Through 13 bruising NBA seasons, Anthony Mason was renowned for a cartoon-hero physique and an ability to clean up around the paint and finish. The six-foot-seven forward who played for the Knicks primarily (and five other teams) averaged more than 10 points per game over his career, which surprised me.

Burly and Surly: Mason personified the early ’90s Knicks.

His younger son, Antoine Mason, is no facsimile. The six-foot-three guard, who plays at Niagara, is more of a perimeter shooter, but through five games he leads the NCAA in scoring at 31.2 point per game. Antoine is remarkably consistent, scoring between 30 and 35 points in four of those five contests. Quickness may be his greatest asset. The junior from the leafy burbs of Westchester has only hit nine three-pointers, but he gets to the line 12 times per game and shoots 75% from there.

5. All-Blacks, All Wins

Not since the Vikings invaded the Emerald Isle…

I shan’t pretend that I understand how teams score in rugby or that I am familiar with the vernacular.

Here’s what I know: In 1995 international rugby created its first unabashed professional league (I believe this was just after Matt Damon competed for the Springboks of South Africa) and since then no national team had ever gone through a season undefeated (here I should add that Mercury Morris derived an inordinate amount of pleasure from that).

Until last weekend. But it wasn’t easy.

The All-Blacks of New Zealand completed the first perfect season in the 18-year history of professional rugby, winning all 14 Tests. Last Saturday in Dublin, however, they trailed 22-7 at halftime before clawing back for a 24-22 victory, scoring the winning points (that’s probably not the proper way to say it) on the final action of the match. Afterward Ireland quarterback Peyton Manning said that he would not blame the weather conditions for the defeat.

Reserves

Really, Florida? Really? That’s redshirt freshman Marcus Maye doing the Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka move. Oh, for the innocent days of Gator offensive linemen blocking one another.

***

Straight Outta Kenya (By Way of Newark)

Cheserek setting the pace in Terre Haute, Ind., last Saturday.

University of Oregon freshman Edward Cheserek became the first true freshman to win the NCAA Division I Cross Country championship since Bob Kennedy of Indiana in 1988. Cheserek was born in Kenya but attended high school in Newark, N.J., which, for those unfamiliar with the city, is not the greatest of running towns –unless the police are chasing you.

Cheserek beat defending champion Kennedy Kithuka of  Texas Tech by 18 seconds over the 10,000-meter course. Other Oregon harriers who have won the X-Country national championship include Steve Prefontaine (three championships, two biopics), Alberto Salazar and Galen Rupp. In other words, prit-tee, prit-tee good company.

They call him King Edward. If you are an Olympics fan, get to know the five-foot-eight, 125-pounder. He won the last two national high school X-country championships and as well as the Pac-12 Championship this autumn. He was raised in the Rift Valley.

***

Paging Phil Jackson!

Later this month Jim Dolan will sign Methuselah to a 10-day contract.

The New York Knicks and KevinGar Nets are a combined 6-20 and have lost 11 straight combined. New York fell at Portland last night after which I presume they held a Carmelos Only meeting. Here’s one big problem. Whereas the original cast of “Saturday Night Live” used to refer to themselves as “The Not-Ready-For-Primetime Players”, the Knicks and Nets rosters are too heavily manned by “Past-Their-Prime-Time Players“: Garnett, Paul Pierce, Jason Terry, Amar’e Stoudemire, Kenyon Martin, Metta World Peace. The Knicks even have a 36 year-old rookie point guard, Pablo Priglione.

What it all adds up to is that the Toronto Raptors are not the only dinosaurs in the Eastern Conference.

The Manhattans play the Brooklyns one week after Thanksgiving Day, so someone’s losing streak will end.

***

Tim Tebow: A Gator, but not an eye-gouger.

I really love the idea of the “SI Longform” and the layout . As I wrote when ESPN.com Grantland.com put out a similar piece last year on the Iditarod, this must be the future of magazinery on the web. My problem with Thomas Lake’s piece on Tim Tebow is that, while it was an exhaustive profile of Tebow’s travails from Gainesville through camp with the Patriots, I didn’t learn much.

That and it felt as if at least 50% of the story could have been compiled from reading game boxscores. Lake introduces the piece by informing us that he is in a conference room with the beatific No. 15 off Santa Monica Blvd, but there are very few Tebow quotes in the piece.

My favorite moment in the entire hour-long read was when a fan in New England during training camp yelled out “Twelve Mississippi!” because Tebow was taking too long to release a pass. Also, that Tebow tucked it and ran during a 7-on-7 drill. Now that’s hilarious.

I’ll always be a fan of The Tebow. And Lake should know that when Tebow first arrived in NYC to sign with the Jets he eschewed all the cool bistros and eateries to dine, daily, at a plain diner on 2nd Ave. and 81st (I believe) that is heavily populated with denizens above the age of 70. That is where he felt most comfortable and that is where he took most every meal.

Read the piece. Enjoy the spectacular layout. Decide what you think of the reporting.

***

If you know Manhattan Beach, then you know that El Porto is the beach just north of town near the lovely smoke stacks and just south of the LAX runway. If you feel like going surfing or paddle-boarding there, take a look at who has moved in recently.

Remote Patrol

Western Michigan vs. No. 14 Northern Illinois

ESPN 7 p.m.

NIU alum Lacey Underalls

The Broncos are 1-10 and have a one-point victory over one-win UMass to their credit. The Huskies are 11-0, boast quarterback Jordan Lynch, and are making a last stab at securing a BCS bowl berth over similarly undefeated non-AQ Fresno State. The line is 35.5 but it should be at least 10 points north of that. NIU wants to make a statement and it’ll waste no time doing so tonight in DeKalb.

STARTING FIVE

Rumbin’, bumblin’, stumblin’….

1. Bryce Petty Commits Metaphor of the Year

How does this happen? No. 4 Baylor quarterback Bryce Petty has an unimpeded path into the end zone and what would be a 6-0 first-quarter lead in Stillwater, a touchdown that will quell the frenzy. Instead, after a nifty 27-yard scamper he trips and falls just a foot shy of the goal. Two plays later Shock Linwood fumbles while trying to stretch out the football beyond the goal line.

The next thing you know No. 10 Oklahoma State is up 35-3 on the nation’s most prolific scoring offense en route to a 49-17 win. Undefeated teams, particularly outliers such as the Bears, stumble in November every season. It’s just odd when they paint the picture this clearly for you.

2. Stacy’s Meme Has Got It Going On

Why is she opening the hatchback? Just how large is Stacy’s backpack?

Cadillac has done more to promote Fountains of Wayne than FM radio ever did. The “beautifully practical, and practically beautiful” 2014 Cadillac SRX Crossover is the most ubiquitous ad on sports television, taking advantage of the 2003 pop hit by the New Jersey-bred rock foursome, all alums of prestigious Williams College (you’re welcome, Dick Quinn), and the magnificent mandible of French model Magali Amadei.

Sometimes she rides shotgun

It should be noted that Amadei, who turns 39 later this week, is at least by her Wikipedia page’s information, not a mother. So maybe Stacy’s parents are divorced and she’s dating the dad and picking up Stacy from school? Also, this song has been used to move product before, so the dude at the ad agency who’s accepting all the praise for this concept is likely just a plagiarist.

And yes, the role of “Stacy’s Mom” in the original video was played by model Rachel Hunter, ex-wife of Rod Stewart.

3. Rose Woes

Is it too soon to declare the Curse of the Chicago Bulls point guards? Derrick Rose, the 2011 NBA MVP who missed all of last season while recovering from an ACL tear in his left knee, will now miss the remainder of this season after tearing the medial meniscus on his right knee. You’ll recall that a former high draft pick at point guard for the Bulls, Jason Williams, suffered a career-ending knee injury in a motorcycle accident after his rookie season.

Williams was the No. 2 overall pick in 2002. Rose was the No. 1 overall pick in 2008.

Rose, who played in 10 games this season before suffering the tear, is an incredibly easy dude to root for and you hope that he recovers fully. You also hope that Adidas stops running this ad. We’ll see.

Alas, for Bulls fans, this will probably be the highlight of the 2013-14 season.

In the meantime, the Bulls went out and lost by 39 yesterday in their first game without their leader yesterday versus the Clippers at the Staples Center. They draw the league’s worst team, Utah, in Salt Lake City tonight. Stay tuned.

4. The Will Muschamp Era in One Photo or Less

Two Gators block one another while an apparent sniper victim lies prone at the 2 yard-line

Mark Sanchez had the butt fumble (a year and a day earlier, in fact). Will Muschamp will have this play as all you need to describe his era in Gainesville. Two Gators block one another as a third runs around right end on a sweep. Hey, it worked: He picked up the first down.

Still, Florida lost to FCS Georgia Southern, the ebb for a program that earlier this millennium won two national championships.

And, yes, I don’t know who or what is happening at the 2 yard-line. One player down? Two? I cannot tell.

Finally, the University of Florida has produced no shortage of college football writers and sportswriters in general the past couple of decades: Andy Staples (who actually played on the 1997 national championship squad as a walk-on offensive lineman), Gregg Doyel, Greg Auman and Spencer Hall (Edsbs.com) to name just a few. I want to hear what they have to say about this.

The Gators are 22-15 in Muschamp’s three seasons. They’ve been rattled by injuries all season. Still, you don’t lose to an FCS school at home. One way to avoid that? Don’t schedule an FCS school.

5. It’s Justin Timberlake’s World. We Just Groove In It

Justin Timberlake. Ryan Gosling. You’ve gotta hand it to the talent scouts at the Mickey Mouse Club. They have a better track record than, say, the Portland Trail Blazers.

Timberlake won a slew of bling at the American Music Awards (and yes, this is a Miley Cyrus-free zone because we refuse to be manipulated). A highlight was comedian Sarah Silverman announcing that the award for Soul/R&B album and noting that it was between JT, “the son of the dad from ‘Growing Pains’, and Rihanna.”

After claiming the trophy, Timberlake noted that it was, as a son of Memphis, “the first time he’d ever been racially profiled by a white woman.”

Here he is performing “Drink You Away.” Lookee, a highly acclaimed musical performer who can play an instrument.

Also, I have nieces who occasionally read this blog, so I’d be remiss if I didn’t confess that I actually didn’t hate this performance by One Direction. Although, to be honest, it sounds as if they listened to Phillip Phillips’ “Home” once and then just retreated to their bedrooms and rewrote the lyrics.

Reserves

The most misunderstood Carr since Tesla S? Derek has 32 TD passes, 4 INTs and averages 342.1 yards passing per game.

Kerfuffle Alert: The fearless Andy Staples does not rank 10-0 Fresno State in his latest AP ballot. You certainly can make the argument that 25 teams are better, sure, but could you also not make the argument that 8-3 Notre Dame (not on Andy’s ballot) might defeat, if they were to meet, hypothetically, 8-3 Southern California? I mean, if they were to play? The lesson here is that there are no air-tight defenses in anyone’s ballot (including mine) and that it’s important to remember that the AP poll has no actual effect on who meets in the BCS National Championship Game.

Actually, Jon Wilner ranking the Buckeyes (11-0) sixth should have garnered more Twitter attention.

Fresno State is 16th in the BCS Standings, but NIU is 14th. The higher-ranked non-AQ school will, unless one loses, be headed to a BCS bowl. The other one, not so much.

***

Andre Williams, Boston College, has 897 yards rushing in his past three games. That’s 299 yards rushing per game. Overall this season Williams has galloped for 2,073 yards, or 188 yards per game, which is 33 yards per game better than Arizona’s Kadeem Carey. Williams, who ran for a pedestrian 584 yards last season as a junior, is having a Heisman-worthy season. If not the man to take home the bust, he should at least be seated in that row when the award is announced. If Williams keeps pace at Syracuse, it’ll be at least the best rushing season since 2007. I’ll have to go further back to see the last time someone eclipsed 188 yards per game in a season.

***

The Winslow game also opened 24-0 (no photographers scuffled in the securing of this photograph).

New England 34, Denver 31 in overtime. So that was entertaining. Best AFC game that started out 24-0 in one team’s favor that I’ve seen since San Diego at Miami in 1982. The Chargers blew the lead in that one, but won in overtime. I can’t recall now whether or not Don Coryell took the wind.

***

Howard Stern once again demonstrates why he belongs on the short list of all-time great Letterman guests (alongside Bill Murray, Martin Short and Tom Hanks).

***

Enjoyed this skit on “Saturday Night Live.” This song will never die, nor should it.

***

I didn’t make this up. Cannot find the video, but former firestorm epicenter Eddie Vanderdoes, a 5-star defensive tackle prospect who withdrew from Notre Dame last spring, caught a pass on 4th down in the 4th quarter that went  for 18 yards for UCLA on Saturday. Former Irish wideout Shaq Evans caught the next two passes on the TD drive that brought UCLA within 38-33, but there the scoring ended.

STARTING FIVE

Yes, it is gruesome. Horrible. Jackie remained in that pink dress the entire day, repeating, “I want them to see what they have done.”

1. The Crime of the Century

The original broadcast from Walter Cronkite on CBS News…An interesting footnote-to-history piece by the Fort Worth AP reporter Mike Cochran who, along with other reporters that afternoon, were pressed reluctantly into service as pallbearers at the funeral of Lee Harvey Oswald…. CBSNews.com will live-stream the November 22, 1963 coverage provided by Walter Cronkite, Dan Rather and Bob Schieffer at the time beginning at 1:38 p.m. Eastern time today.

Oswald was interrogated for 12 hours by detectives and remarkably, was made available briefly to the media before this moment.

As CNN’s excellent documentary on the Kennedy assassination notes, Jack Ruby dropped off a payment to one of his strippers at Western Union just three minutes before he murdered Oswald. That would seem to suggest that Ruby’s act was impetuous, the act of a man with, excuse the wordplay, a hair-trigger temper. Friends and associates would say that this is exactly the type of man Ruby was.

Staubach, oddly enough, would rise to even greater fame in Dallas.

The cover of SI in the week following President Kennedy’s assassination and this two-page essay on the murdered head of state.

2. Infamous Jameis?

Assuming this is a Winston fan and not just someone who loves The Call.

Three questions-

1) Why does a woman, intoxicated or not, have consensual sex after 1 a.m. and then file a sexual battery police report at 4 a.m. that same morning?

2) Why does a police detective notify the attorney of a 19 year-old man that his client may soon be charged with sexual assault before those charges are ever leveled? And…

3) …How does that detective even know whom to contact related to the question posed in No. 2?

Our old pals Deadspin, not surprisingly, have been kicking ass on this story. Check out this and this.

As for the Tallahassee Democrat, editor-in-chief Bob Gabordi should know by now that thanks to the internet, nothing that is stated in print remains local any more unless it is bland and forgettable. This op-ed is certainly not.

3. Manson: Family?

Oh, those crazy murderously insane kids. She’s a 25 year-old who moved closer to a prison six years ago to be near the man she loved. He’s a 79 year-old lunatic who orchestrated the most grisly murders in the history of southern California. And now they’re engaged. Will the wedding song be “Helter Skelter?”

4. Taking Their Eyes off the Ball

The wind chill made it feel like minus-8 in Colorado Springs last night.

Our friend Tim Ring, the Sports Director at KTVK channel 3 in Phoenix, was watching UNLV at Air Force last night (don’t judge) when he noticed something that the ESPNU play-by-play announcer appeared not to: the Rebels, with a 27-0 lead in the first half, attempted an onside kick. Watch the video. The audio is fairly inaudible, but Ring is a professional and he posted the video onto YouTube, so I’m definitely going to take his word for it. Clearly by the number of views this video has received it seems apparent that the larger sports blog republic — The Big Lead, Awful Announcing, Deadspin, Lost Lettermen, etc. –have yet to discover this flub.

5. Nix’s Season Nixed

Irish Chocolate melts away.

Word out of South Bend late yesterday afternoon that Notre Dame nose guard Louis Nix III, alias “Irish Chocolate”, underwent surgery to correct a tear on his meniscus. Nix will miss the remainder of the season and has most likely played his final game for the Fighting Irish. The Florida native graduates in December, although he does have one year of eligibility remaining.

Nix will be remembered as an affable and outspoken (and outsized at 340-plus pounds) player at a program that has become increasingly guarded, year by year. Our favorite Irish Chocolate moment involves not defense nor even an actual game, but rather his William Perry tribute at last April’s Blue-Gold game. Why Brian Kelly never incorporated this play in the 2013 season, I’ll never know.

Reserves

Hoping they had homeowner’s insurance.

Toledo’s breast cancer awareness unis.

When did college football uniforms cease being uniform?, one scribe wonders.

****

That Todd Helton can write. Oh, and pick off Cardinal leadoff hitters at first base with the old hidden-ball trick, too.

REMOTE PATROL

Where You Were: The Day JFK Died, Reported by Tom Brokaw

NBC 9 p.m.

The menu is wall-to-wall 50th anniversary memorials, but if I have to pick just one, I’ll listen to what NBC’s Brokaw has to say. If you absolutely must have sports, Navy visits San Jose State in football, which is noteworthy because the Spartans have the nation’s leading tackler, Keith Smith. Check him out.