by John Walters

Starting Five

1. Frankie Say, “War! Unnh! Why Must We Win More?” 

This morning Generalissimo Donald Trump, he of the four Vietnam War deferments (a few for school, at least one for bone spurs that never seemed to inhibit his physical activity), said, “When I was young, in high school and in college, everybody used to say we never lost a war. America never lost. Now, we never win a war. “We never win, and we don’t fight to win. We’ve either got to win, or don’t fight it at all.”

I agree with the final sentence, but maybe we don’t need to fight wars at all? At least not conventional ones? Or maybe only if Donny, Jr., or Eric or Ivanka or Tiffany or Barron suit up in a uniform?

If your eyes are better than mine, this chart is pretty clear. If it’s not, here’s what you need to know: the next six countries below the USA on this chart, their military expenditures COMBINED, only equal ours. And every one of those nations is either an ally (Saudi Arabia, France, United Kingdom, India) or has a sincere economic interest (China, Russia) in maintaining peace with us.

So why is Trump proposing a $20 billion increase in military spending? If no major power spends even half as much as we do and no country that is hostile to us spends even 1/10th what we do, why ramp up spending at the expense of other parts of the budget?

9/11, by the way? Not a military attack. What was needed to prevent that was proper function of the FBI and also TSA. The last military attack on U.S. territory soil happened in the Aleutian Islands on June 7, 1942. The last military attack on a U.S. state was by Mexico on Nogales, Arizona, in 1928. I’m not even sure if Mexico won and still controls the area.

Would you like to guess the country whose military was responsible for killing more American soldiers on American soil than any other? That’s right: the United States, during the Civil War.

2. Avril Lavigne Knew…But Then She’s a Product Of The Canadian Health-Scare System*

*Great song, by the way, say the judges

At a meeting of the nation’s governors last night (I wonder if the goofy but likable governor from Benson attended), the prez had this to say about health care, that thing he’s been promising to “repeal and replace!” for more than a year: “Now, I have to tell you, it’s an unbelievably complex subject. Nobody knew health care could be so complicated.”

Nobody?

 

For a narcissist nothing is real except himself.

— Hagar Ben-Ari (@hagarbenari) February 24, 2017

Yes, when your experiences and insights are the ONLY reality you accept or comprehend, comments such as the one above happen. But here’s the truth, Ruth:

 

This Politico video is everything pic.twitter.com/og8nwuEIQ1

— Dustin (@DustinGiebel) February 28, 2017

3. The Accountant*

*The judges will also accept, “Hey, Cullinan man!”

So, of course: In the year that Hollywood gave us The Accountant as a film an accountant is ultimately to blame (to thank?) for the Best Picture kerfuffle. That’s Brian Cullinan of PriceWaterhouseCooper who handed the wrong envelope to Warren Beatty on Sunday night. Last night James Corden did his best to explain what happened:

And this has become an annual Oscars tradition. Guillermo did a terrific job:

4. UNC That?

If you are of a certain age—at least 45 years old—you remember college basketball before the shot clock, when a certain school from Tobacco Road specialized in freezing the clock by virtue of its Four Corners Offense (and, like me, maybe your grade school coach made you learn and run it).

On February 24, 1979, nearly exactly 38 years ago, Tar Heel coach/legend Dean Smith had his offense run the Four Corners the entire first half against heavily favored Duke. At halftime the Blue Devils led 7-0. The two teams would each score 40 points in the second half as neither froze the ball and Duke won 47-40 (if you’re wondering how come college hoops instituted a shot clock, a vast improvement).

Anyway, last night Virginia defeated UNC 53-43, holding the Tar Heels, who average about 86 per game, to their lowest total since that night. Well done, Dick Bennett.

The ACC is suddenly crowded at the top: UNC is 13-4, FSU, which is going to lose at Cameron Indoor tonight, is 11-5, and Notre Dame and Louisville, who play on Saturday, are also both 11-5. Plus, UNC gets Duke on Saturday. Winner of ND-Ville will be No. 2 seed at ACC tourney….

5. Get Out Got a 100%?!? Get. OUT!

That Jordan Peele horror flick has already in three days grossed about $9 million more than Moonlight did in four months. And it received a 100% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Ooooeeeee, whasssup with that? Whasssup with that? I tried to explain in Newsweek.

Reserves

“Surely, You Can’t Be Serious?”

“I AM Serious, And Do Call Me Stockton Malone Shorts”

This is too good to be true, but it is true. Copper Hills High School (20-4)  is one of the top teams in Utah’s highest class (5A) and they are led by arguably the state’s top player, 6’4″ Stockton Malone Shorts. Yes, that’s his name, and he must be feeling quite conflicted. SMS averages 24.2 points per game.

Music 101

In Your Eyes

One of the few tours/artists I’m genuinely sorry to have ever missed is Peter Gabriel and the Secret World Live Tour (1994). This song, off So, came out eight years earlier but by this tour the ex-Genesis member was at the height of his creative powers. Gabriel’s ex-Genesis bandmate Phil Collins was the biggest white male solo artist in the world in the mid-Eighties, and then So was released and every critic got on his/her knees and said, “We’re not worthy.” This song, “Red Rain,” “Don’t Give Up” and the monster hit, “Sledgehammer,” which reached No. 1. This song only climbed as high as No. 26, but with an assist from Cameron Crowe and John Cusack, it has a much richer legacy. And yes, that’s sexy siren Paula Cole singing backup (and keep an eye out for the double-necked electric violin).

Remote Patrol

President Trump’s Address To Congress

9 p.m.

ABC, CBS, NBC, FOX, PBS, ETC.

What You Will Hear:

1. “Winning. 2. “Obamacare” w/in 4 words of “Disaster” 3) “Dishonest Media” 4. “Radicalized Islamic” 5. “Border” w/in 5 words of “Wall”
2. What you won’t hear: “Russia.”

 

by John Walters

Starting Five

1. The Correct Envelope, Please*

*The judges will also accept “True Hollywood Story” or “Bonnie and Clyde Nearly Pull Off Another Heist”

At the 89th Oscars, La La Land won Best Picture. Then it didn’t. Moonlight did. Putin’s all like, “Don’t look at me.” Finally, some actual fake news. Here’s the New York Times with the transcript of how it all unfolded.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Am4e7IuejX0

Meanwhile, just another case of The Man trying to keep us down. The official explanation is that each side of the stage has a person holding every envelope for every award. There are two sets of envelopes. Apparently Leo entered from one side of the stage to present Emma Stone for Best Actress and then Bonnie & Clyde entered from the other to present Best Picture, and the person who handed them the envelope (either Brian Cullinan or Martha Ruiz) screwed up. And then you hand a red envelope that clearly reads “Best Actress” on it to a pair of septuagenarians who were too vain to bring their reading glasses onstage and voila (or Viola), this is what transpires.

 

This is fucking amazing. (via @rilaws) pic.twitter.com/kGGqfi9b1Y

— Ali Arikan (@aliarikan) February 27, 2017

 (sorry about the language, but this pic, at the moment of realization, beats Ellen’s selfie pic from 2014; look at The Rock, at Ben, at Damon, at Casey. Great stuff.)

Biggest (known) gaffe in academy history, or at least since Shakespeare In Love beat Saving Private Ryan. And so, yeah, Emma Stone is involved with a bunch of hard-working  African-Americans being screwed and then redeemed. It was like The Help 2 up there.

2. Oscars So Woke

Was it only a year ago that “Oscars So White” was trending? Three of the top five awards (Best Supporting Actor, Mahershala Ali; Best Actress, Viola Davis; and Best Picture) went to African-Americans and who knows, maybe Denzel Washington  beat Casey Affleck?

It’s funny, before the final moment, that cannot be forgotten, the show had been seamless and Jimmy Kimmel had done a wonderful job as host. His ongoing schtick with Matt Damon rose to new heights, hitting a zenith when he lampooned We Bought A Zoo as part of the inspiration package and then played him off stage as he was presenting. Sara Bareilles singing “Both Sides Now” should probably just be every year’s “In Memoriam.” Special props to John Cho and Leslie Mann, an unlikely pairing who were the funniest presenters. And Gary From Chicago didn’t seem overwhelmed at all by the moment.

Here’s hoping Oscar invites Kimmel back, as well as Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway, who don’t deserve any heat for the screwup, to present next year’s Best Picture. Oscar producers got it wrong; they didn’t.

3. Taking Out Stiles In Style

 

With this basket, Kelsey Plum is the new all-time scoring leader in women’s college basketball. #PlumsPursuit https://t.co/FIxQjwUg4g

— Washington WBB (@UW_WBB) February 25, 2017

The weekend in college basketball should have belonged to Washington senior Kelsey Plum. Needing 54 points to overtake Jackie Stiles as women’s college basketball’s all-time leading scorer, Plum ‘sploded for 57 points against Utah on Saturday.

A humble 5’9″ lefty who is the greatest Husky never to play for Geno Auriemma, Plum now has 3,397 points. However, Plum’s feat was overshadowed when Baylor coach Kim Mulkey (confession: We’ve always adored this spitfire coach, right up until she opened her mouth on Sunday) won her 500th game on Sunday, and then stepped WAY DEEP in it when she decided to talk about Baylor’s massive sex abuse scandal.

4. Baker Mayfield Goes Tommy Rees

Oklahoma quarterback Baker Mayfield waded into SEC territory (Arkansas) over the weekend and was arrested for public intoxication, disorderly conduct, fleeing the scene and resisting arrest but not for being covered in food. You have to imagine how drunk the famously on-field elusive Mayfield must have been to be chased down from behind and tackled by a cop. Somewhere Johnny Manziel is laughing.

Oklahoma visits Ohio State its SECOND game of next season, so expect Mayfield to get a ONE-GAME suspension.

5. Down Go The Zags

Gonzaga has long been to college hoops what its fellow northwest USA neighbor Boise State has been to college football: a perennially dominant team in its class that always manages to lose one game late in the season that perhaps it shouldn’t have.

On Thursday the Zags won at the University of San Diego by 58 points to move to 29-0. Two nights later at home against BYU, a team they’d beaten on the road earlier this month, they headed into the half with a six-point lead. But the Cougars outscored Mark Few’s squad by 14 points after intermission to win 79-71 and end the Zags’ perfect season.

BYU helped its NCAA cause with the win, moving to 21-10. Cougar forward Eric Mika led all scorers with 29 points, none of them off three-pointers. He’s a modern-day unicorn.

Does Gonzaga still merit a No. 1 seed out West? Nope. I think it’ll go to UCLA, which beat Arizona in Tucson on Saturday night.

Music 101

The Stranger

I was living in New Jersey in 1977 (and had never been west of Great Adventure in Jackson, N.J.) when this song and album were released. I don’t know how the rest of the country took to Billy Joel, but this album was every bit as big as Saturday Night Fever that year and Joel every bit as big as the Bee Gees. Joel is now the house band at Madison Square Garden, playing there once a month to packed houses. Meanwhile, his ex-wife is also aging well (this performance is from 1977 at Carnegie Hall).

Remote Patrol

North Carolina at Virginia

7 p.m. ESPN

Are the Tar Heels (23-5, 13-3 in the ACC) the best team in the nation? Or merely a No. 1 seed? Methinks if they win the ACC regular season title and at least advance to the conference final, they’ll be a No. 1 seed.

 

by Chris Corbellini

Oscar Predictions: La La Land for the win

I asked myself a simple question when compiling this year’s Oscar predictions: How did that movie make you feel when you exited the theater? 

I walked out of La La Land glowing. It’s a cure for the blues. I think Academy voters will agree that was what the movie set out to do, and not only does it have the bells and whistles that make the working production folks elbow each other in admiration, on a bigger scale it’s a celebration of a business that since the silent era has attempted to make people exit a theater in an emotional state. Yep, it’s not the money that drives all of that make-believe; rather it’s the stories that inspire us all. A happy fiction.

La La Land. 

It’s winning big tonight.

Below are my predictions on exactly how big.

And is there still time to put Bill Paxton in the “In Memoriam” segment?

Actor in a Leading Role

Casey Affleck, Manchester by the Sea

Andrew Garfield, Hacksaw Ridge
Ryan Gosling, La La Land

Viggo Mortensen, Captain Fantastic
Denzel Washington, Fences

 Winner: Casey Affleck. Steely Denzel might wrench this one away from him, particularly after Affleck’s two settled sexual harassment lawsuits came to light.

Actress in a Leading Role

Isabelle Huppert, Elle
Ruth Negga, Loving
Natalie Portman, Jackie
Emma Stone, La La Land
Meryl Streep, Florence Foster Jenkins

Winner: Emma Stone. The Academy is putting this smiling and dancing sprite up on stage. It’s happening.

 Actor in a Supporting Role

Mahershala Ali, Moonlight
Jeff Bridges, Hell or High Water
Lucas Hedges, Manchester by the Sea
Dev Patel, Lion
Michael Shannon, Nocturnal Animals

Winner: Mahershala Ali. Not a lot of screen time, but he made those moments count. There are great things ahead for this actor. He knows it, and he seems humbled by it.

Actress in a Supporting Role

Viola Davis, Fences
Naomie Harris, Moonlight
Nicole Kidman, Lion

Octavia Spencer, Hidden Figures
Michelle Williams, Manchester by the Sea

Winner: Viola Davis. This was the easiest category to handicap.

Animated Feature Film

Kubo and the Two Strings
Moana
My Life as a Zucchini

The Red Turtle
Zootopia

Winner: Zootopia. Also an easy one.

Cinematography

Arrival

La La Land

Lion

Moonlight

Silence

Winner: La La Land. There’s some lovely magic hour scenes in this, but the shot that really dazzled me came early, during a Hollywood party, when the camera followed Stone, then captured a stunt man jump from a roof into a pool — following him under water — and then spun around that pool as partygoers jumped in with him.

Costume Design

Allied

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Florence Foster Jenkins

Jackie

La La Land

Winner: Jackie. She was a fashion icon and a graceful figure, so costume design was nearly as important as the script. Of course Fantastic Beasts could take this one, too.

  Documentary (feature)

Fire at Sea

I Am Not Your Negro
Life, Animated
O.J.: Made in America
13^th

Winner: O.J.: Made in America. ESPN wins its first Oscar.

 Documentary (short subject)

Extremis

4.1 Miles

Joe’s Violin

Watani: My Homeland
The White Helmets

 Winner: White Helmets. A dart throw, admittedly. There was some buzz to it.

Film Editing

Arrival

Hacksaw Ridge

Hell or High Water

La La Land

Moonlight

Winner: La La Land. There are elegant edits from start to finish in the movie — a late-movie cut from Gosling’s piano in his nightclub to the one in the restaurant where he and Stone first meet, for instance.  In fact the entire final sequence is terrific, as Stone and Gosling dance through a life they could have had. That’s simple to nail down in a script. But giving those moments verve is all in the edit bay. Tom Cross will win back-to-back Oscars, after taking one home for Whiplash last year.

Foreign Language Film

Land of Mine

A Man Called Ove
The Salesman
Tanna

Toni Erdmann

Winner: The Salesman. The director is boycotting the Oscars, giving this category a political edge.

 Makeup and Hairstyling

A Man Called Ove

Star Trek Beyond
Suicide Squad

Winner: Star Trek Beyond. Suicide Squad had four headliners: Will Smith, Jared Leto, Margot Robbie … and Margot Robbie’s butt. It’s an awful movie, and I can’t see Academy voters rewarding the filmmakers in any fashion. But if it pulls off the upset, said voters were swayed by Robbie’s posterior. It was prominently featured.

Music (Original Score)

Jackie

La La Land

Lion

Moonlight

Passengers

Winner: La La Land. Child, please.

 

Music (Original Song)

“Audition (The Fools Who Dream)”: from La La Land
“Can’t Stop The Feeling”: from Trolls
“City of Stars”: from La La Land

“The Empty Chair”: from Jim, The James Foley Story
“How Far I’ll Go”: from Moana

Winner: Audition (The Fools Who Dream). I don’t agree that La La Land will lose out in this category due to splitting votes — there’s a good chance “City of Stars” takes this. But Audition is the standout moment of the movie – a scene that connects with every dreamer in the audience, which is to say, everyone in the audience.

Production Design

Arrival

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
Hail, Caesar!

La La Land

Passengers

Winner: Arrival. The great challenge of this movie was to make an alien species and the world of academics and military leaders trying to understand them look completely original, and not a 21^st Century reboot of Close Encounters of the Third Kind. They did it. That said, Fantastic Beasts could take this category as well.

Short Film (Animated)

Blind Vaysha

Borrowed Time

Pear Cider and Cigarettes
Pearl

Piper

Winner: Piper. Everyone loves Pixar.

Short Film (Live Action)

Ennemis Interieurs
La Femme et le TGV

Silent Nights
Sing

Timecode

Winner: Ennemis Interieurs. Just in case you were really struggling with your Oscar pool here, I think this one is the safest bet.

Sound Editing

Arrival
Deepwater Horizon

Hacksaw Ridge

La La Land

Sully

Winner: La La Land. There are some beautiful out cuts right before a title cards pop up (WINTER, SPRING, etc). The one that really stands out is an abrupt one during the rock-jazz concert, when the Stone character believes Gosling’s jazzman has sold out — a sound outcue to the beginning of the end of their relationship. Still, you could make a case for any of these movies. That’s a lot of sound to cull together: Hacksaw (war), Horizon (chaos), Arrival (alien life), and Sully (air disaster), and each overcame their respective editing challenges. Hacksaw could easily take this. But that’s overthinking this one. Again, how did the movie make voters feel?

Sound Mixing

Arrival

Hacksaw Ridge

La La Land

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi

Winner: La La Land. Arrival’s sound was its own character … there was a sense of dread leading up to first contact, and that’s all in the mix. I will hate myself if Arrival pulls off the upset because it deserves this one, but again, I’m predicting no voter is over-thinking this, and will award Oscar to the musical in the field.

Visual Effects

Deepwater Horizon
Doctor Strange

The Jungle Book
Kubo and the Two Strings
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Winner: The Jungle Book. A few years ahead of its time with a child actor and that animal planet of FX reacting back at him. And it answered the question my eight-year-old self wanted to know: Who would win in a fight, a black panther or a tiger?

Writing (Adapted Screenplay)

Arrival

Fences

Hidden Figures 

Lion

Moonlight

Winner: Moonlight. The film’s condolence prize for not winning Best Picture.

Writing (Original Screenplay)

Hell or High Water

La La Land

The Lobster

Manchester by the Sea

20^th Century Women

Winner: Manchester by the Sea. This would also be a signal to the filmmakers involved in Manchester that they were worthy of winning Best Picture … if not for a movie that honors the very town they live in. It took Kenneth Lonergan three years to write the script for Manchester, and from that grind came a story of unthinkable grief with the most natural dialogue of the year. It’s a lot of work to make it all three acts seem so true-to-life. Every character involved is someone you run into when the death of a loved one forces you into action, or into seclusion.

Directing

Arrival, Dennis Villeneuve

Hacksaw Ridge, Mel Gibson
La La Land, Damien Chazelle

Manchester by the Sea, Kenneth Lonergan

Moonlight, Barry Jenkins

Winner: La La Land. With this and the critically-lauded Whiplash, the happiest person in the room is the 32-year-old Chazelle’s agent, 32-year-old Roger Green.

Best Picture

Arrival

Fences

Hacksaw Ridge

Hell or High Water

Hidden Figures

La La Land

Lion

Manchester by the Sea

Moonlight

Winner: La La Land. Beautiful on the inside and out — a story not about whom you step over to become famous, but how you can’t realize a dream without some help along the way.  I visited Hollywood last month and amongst working professionals in that business, the feeling is La La Land is not even the third-best movie among the nominees. And more than a few people are put off by the white savior jazzman element to the musical (with a mansplaining segment, no less).

 I don’t care. I know how I felt leaving the theater.

by John Walters

Starting Five

Khaki Power Move

When you show up at CPAC dressed like a blogger on that one day of the week he leaves the house, well, you’re telling the Boss (DT) that you can do whatever the hell you want. Look, in contrast, how Reince Priebus is dressed.

If you didn’t listen, Steve Bannon spoke quite clearly and and articulately to his conservative base. His three points: 1) national security, 2) wants no part of economic globalism, 3) deconstruction (his word) of administrative state.

 

Please tell me somebody else saw Priebus’ reaction to Bannon trying to touch him. #CPAC2017 pic.twitter.com/oNXGEvgNhv

— Kyle Alvarado (@KJAlvarado124) February 23, 2017

If you’re wondering why this administration pretty much chose the worst people they could possibly find for some cabinet positions (Betsy Devos for Education; Scott Pruitt for EPA; Rick Perry for Energy), my guess is that had nothing to do with them being poor choice makers. It was all about them not wanting those agencies to actually function.

p.s. Bannon still hates the media, which is odd, since we seem to shop at the same clothing stores.

2. Leak As I Say, Not As I Do

Earlier this week White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus, breaching protocol (what else is new?), reached out to FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe asking them to disavow stories by The New York Times and CNN stating that the Russians had contact with some members of Trump’s posse during the presidential campaign.

When McCabe essentially told Priebus to step back into the batter’s box and stop worrying about whether the pitch was inside, he redoubled efforts by once more reaching out to McCabe as well as to his boss, FBI Director James Comey. This time he asked them to at least LEAK such info to news organizations.

 

The FBI is totally unable to stop the national security “leakers” that have permeated our government for a long time. They can’t even……

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 24, 2017

find the leakers within the FBI itself. Classified information is being given to media that could have a devastating effect on U.S. FIND NOW

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 24, 2017

So of course, what happens? What gets leaked is Reince’s effort to persuade the FBI to do Trump’s biding. And of course this a.m. Prez. Donald tweets about the upsetting notion that there are leakers inside the FBI not blindly loyal to him as opposed to the possibility of corruption and the certainty of attempted coercion. Again, remember about Trump: 1) Never apologize, 2) Never admit you’re wrong about anything even when you are caught red-handed.

3. Hidden in Plain Sight Figures*

*The judges will also accept “Weekend, Getaway”

When I heard there was a film titled Get Out, I wondered if you could do an entire movie about Elaine Benes’ signature move. Turns out Jordan Peele (of Key & Peele) has directed a film about an interracial couple (Allison Williams and Daniel Kaluuya) living in NYC (Brooklyn?) who head upstate to visit her parents for the weekend, a la Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner? and run into the plantation version of The Stepford Wives.

Why is the film, which opens today, garnering so much attention? For one reason it has a 100% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

4. Get Off My Lawn!

Why did NBC Nightly News lead off its national broadcast last night with the story of an off-duty (WHITE) cop pulling a gun on some (HISPANIC) teens who were trespassing on his property? One, because they had the video and two, my theory, because it is a microcosm of the entire illegal immigration issue.

It’s been a long time since I’ve lived in the suburbs, or in a home with a lawn and this may surprise you, but though he certainly overreacted (Step No. 1: Don’t carry a pistol tucked in your waist band aimed at far more valuable personal property than your hedges), I’m on his side. From what I can recall about these types of situations, he probably warned them multiple times not to walk across his yard and they probably either ignored him or enjoyed  annoying him, particularly since he’s a cop. That’s an assumption, I grant you.

A few thoughts:

–Here’s an essay I wrote last April about the “Get Off My Lawn” phenomenon that I truly hope you read (I’ll wait until you finish before typing further).

–Here’s what I don’t understand about illegal immigration (and this is not to say that I’m in favor of deporting everyone who is here illegally): Liberals love to talk about how we are a nation of laws, and so when someone who is conservative Christian hates the idea of same-sex marriage they might argue, Go ahead and hate it; We’re not asking you to bless it, just respect that it is the law. Okay, fine.

So there are also laws against (and billions of dollars spent and entire agencies in existence to prevent) illegal immigration. So why do so many liberals who fight for laws to respect their rights and admonish officials to enforce them suddenly turn  a blind eye to these laws?

–If you believe we need to relax immigration policies, fine. We all know that most illegal immigrants are here simply because they want a better life for themselves and their families, to have a good job and to be safe. I think most of us can respect that. But why even have a border patrol or fences or laws on the books if the policy is going to be, Oh, if you get past the velvet rope and the bouncer, then you’re in da club.

–It’s dishonest and disingenuous when Donald calls Mexican “rapists” and “drug dealers,” but it’s no less disingenuous when MSNBC’s Joy Reid (and others) refers to illegal immigrants as “dreamers” and “angels.” If you don’t want a pejorative label put on people, great; don’t put an equally dishonest beatific label on everyone, either.

–I work with illegal immigrants in the summer and love them as people and greatly admire their work ethic. I also know the ones that I work with are resourceful. There’s a market for everything in the USA, which is to say that if ICE keeps cracking down on illegal immigrants, I think you’ll see a big uptick in the rate of weddings between illegals and natural-born U.S. citizens.

5. Around The World In 12 Books

I love visiting nationalgeographic.com because visually it serves as an aspirational site to what all of the web should and hopefully one day will look like. Also, because the people there seem to get that this is a planet worth cherishing and that, you know, maybe we should be using our minds once in awhile (in other words, they’re the polar opposite of the “dude” who lives in the White House.

Here’s a fantastic photo essay they have up today on traveling the globe in a dozen tomes.  Check it out.

Music 101

Sing A Song

Why don’t you own Earth, Wind & Fire Greatest Hits? You really should, you know. This is just outstanding get up-and-shake-your-booty music. This particular tune was released in 1975 and it went to No. 5 on the Billboard charts.

Remote Patrol

SUNDAY

The 89th Oscars

7 p.m. ABC

The Super Bowl of Hollywood! By the time the Red Carpet ceremony starts at 7 (Jimmy Kimmel doesn’t take the stage until 8:30 p.m.), I may be the only person left publicly willing to defend La La Land for Best Picture. Haven’t seen enough movies to make educated guesses, but when has that ever stopped anyone? Here are my WILL Wins, as opposed to SHOULD Wins:

Best Supporting Actor: Mahershala Ali, Moonlight

Best Supporting Actress: Viola Davis, Fences (I hope Octavia Spencer goes up to accept it just to see how many Americans realize it’s not Viola)

Best Actor:  Casey Affleck, Manchester By The Sea

Best Actress: Emma Stone, La La Land (My heart is telling me to pick Isabelle Huppert for Elle)

Best Picture: Hidden Figures (the backlash against La La Land has been strong of late)

 

by John Walters

Starting Five

Minding Your Cuse

The MH staff got a late start today because we all piled into the Charger Hemi and drove up to Syracuse, the Paris of Central New York, on a whim. Bad idea. Boring game. We can’t even remember who won.

2. Immigrants In Los Angeles To Be Deported?

At a meeting on the Fox lot this morning, FS1 notified employees that Fox Sports Live is being canceled. The last episode was last night and hosts Jay Onrait and Dan O’Toole, who were a big deal in Canada, will not have their contracts renewed. Does this mean they no longer have work visas and will soon receive a visit from ICE?

FS1 also canceled Garbage Time, Katie Nolan’s boutique show, but only as a means to give her greater exposure: “”You’re going to see zero Jay & Dan,” one nameless (I mean, he has a name, he just didn’t want it to be used) executive told Ben Koo of Awful Announcing. But you’re going to see five times as much Katie Nolan.”

No word on if FS1 will develop a show for her in which she says “Hi” to her dad at least once per episode.

3. For Runners Only

If you are an avid runner, you know about the site LetsRun.com. It’s the internet knitting circle of sub-7 minute milers. Here’s a great profile on the site from Outside (wish I’d thought of this) and a story within about how the crowdsourcing factor of its many readers allowed them to bust a runner who was in the midst of committing a hoax.

4. White Noise

 

#MakeAmericaGreatAgain pic.twitter.com/iwkcH3BBAG

— President Trump (@POTUS) February 17, 2017

(This photo is NOT white enough to accurately depict how white major market sports radio is)

A site/service named Barrett Sports Media recently released a list of the Top 20 Major Market Morning Shows for sports radio (I can’t listen to sports radio; it’s like taffy for the mind). You can click on the list. I counted 43 white dudes and one white woman. No blacks, no Hispanics. This is only fair because everyone knows that African-Americans rarely are provocative or have anything interesting to say, especially not about sports. And they’re very monotone and dull, you know, the way Rod Tidwell was in Jerry Maguire.

5. Another Day Of Trump

Standing Rock awfulness, Paul Ryan not understanding the difference between freedom and wealth, and Arkansans taking it to Senator Tom Cotton (R) (Heartwarming to see GOP’ers finally understanding they’ve been suckered). It’s Another Day of Trump/Another Day of Trump....

 

“Freedom is the ability to buy what you want.”

Um, no. That’s *wealth.* You’re describing wealth. https://t.co/TXehL20yrH

— Fred Clark (@SlacktivistFred) February 22, 2017

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKmR4VATPbY

Music 101

Sex (I’m A)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpYNwFGaMik

For awhile there in 1983, as New Wave was entering its peak years, we thought that Berlin (an American band) might be the next Blondie. This song was banned on several radio stations, which is why 16 year-old me and my friends craved it so much. It never climbed higher than 62 on the charts. Berlin never were as dangerous as Blondie, and lead singer Terri Nunn was no Deborah Harry. But they did achieve mega-success three years later with their schmaltz hit “Take My Breath Away” that was featured in Top Gun.

Remote Patrol

Superstore

8 p.m. NBC

I’m KIDDING! But have you noticed how the networks, realizing they can’t compete with edgy NetFlix or Amazon shows, have decided collectively, “Why would we WANT to do that, anyway?” Look who won!” So bring on the red-state, MAGA-friendly comedies.

(Clips-Warriors is on at 10:30 p.m. on TNT while Pasch and Walton will be bickering about the “conference of champions” over on ESPN at 9 p.m.)