by John Walters

Build the wall out of coal and opioids. Three birds, one stone.

— Downtown Josh Brown (@ReformedBroker) March 30, 2017

“Downtown Josh Brown” is one of my five favorite people on Twitter. For he’s a jolly good follow, for he’s a jolly good follow…

Starting Five

1. Flynn-trigue* **

*The judges will also accept “General Disturbance”

**Another Day of Trump (71)

Apparently, former National Security Adviser Mike Flynn (who, like the person that appeared in this space yesterday, Sally Yates, was fired by The Worst Wing less than one month into his presdiency) is eager to talk to any Intelligence Committee that wants to listen to him in exchange for immunity. “Gen. Flynn certainly has a story to tell, and he very much wants to tell it,” his lawyer, Robert Keiner, said late Thursday. “Should the circumstances permit.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-UCb5rOGXo

By that, Keiner elaborated, he meant that General Flynn will speak in exchange for immunity from prosecution. Which is why this quote from Flynn last autumn comes back to bite him in the ass.

2. Final Four: League Of Nations

There are more players in this year’s Final Four from this west African nation than there are from Indiana

I stopped by University of Phoenix Stadium yesterday to pick up my media credential and enjoy a complimentary savory turkey sandwich (and say hello to a journo or two I hadn’t seen in awhile). Anyway, picked up the media guides and was heartened to learn that one team has a “Tut” (who was not born in Arizona nor does he have a condo made ‘a stone’a) and that another has the son of Chris Corchiani and yet another the son of Canadian legend Jay Triano.

Anyway (again with the anyways), here are all the countries represented in this year’s Final Four rosters outside the U.S.A.: Australia, Canada, Denmark, England, Estonia, France, Gabon, Israel, Japan, Poland and Senegal. That’s 11 different nations outside the United States and four continents. Only South America and Antarctica are not represented (I hear the AAU ball in Antarctica is lame).

3. I Love You, Manatee

Manatees were thought to be endangered because not even other manatees wanted to have sex with them

Good news, no, great news: Manatees are no longer an “endangered species.” The aquatic mammals have been downgraded to a “threatened species.” More manatees and less man, please. Especially in Florida.

4. Hazing at Hamilton

Not a good time for your suburban Phoenix high school football powerhouse to be making news for alleged hazing, with scores of scribes in town for the Final Four. Six players at Chandler Hamilton High School, which opened less than 20 years ago but has already won seven state championships, were arrested on Thursday in connection with hazing incidents. Details of the incidents are not yet available, but the charges were kidnapping, sexual assault and aggravated assault (MH staffers are working diligently to discern if there were any non-pork by-product items placed in hot dog buns).

Hamilton is coached by Steve Belles, a former All-State quarterback at Phoenix St. Mary’s High School who later went on to play at Notre Dame (mostly on special teams). Belles won a state championship in high school and a national championship in college, and I think he may have won both inside Sun Devil Stadium (the h.s. championship game may have been played in Tucson that year).

5. Go To Hel-sinki

Helsinki

You have to love The New York Times for providing five places to go out in Helsinki, Finland. I perused the story and would argue that all five spots have a reasonable facsimile in the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn (who’s with me?). If the NYT actually dispatched writer Esha Chhabra to Finland to do this piece, more power to her. Or him.

Reserves

A Reptile Dysfunction

Never bite the hand that feeds, or the one that slakes your thirst, especially when your bite contains deadly venom.

Thirsty cobra affected by drought in India calmly accepts drink of water from villager straight from water bottle. https://t.co/qchNK8KKDN pic.twitter.com/Djcrkl0ItH

— ABC News (@ABC) March 31, 2017

Music 101

Make A Little Magic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quMbbvYhIXE

In 1980 the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band released this soft-country-rock tune with the late Nicolette “Gonna Take a Lotta Love” Larson on backup vocals. It felt as if I heard this song all the time on Phoenix adult-contemporary station KOY at the time. The affable KOY morning deejay was a man named Bill Heywood, a local institution. Five years ago Heywood and his wife of 35 years, Susan, took their lives together. Susan was terminally ill and the couple calmly checked themselves into a room and two triggers were pulled.

Remote Patrol

Women’s Final Four

Stanford vs. South Carolina

Mississippi State vs. Connecticut

7 p.m. ESPN

Glad they moved the format back to Friday-Sunday, where it always belonged. Storylines: UConn attempts to extend win streak to 112 and 113 while winning a FIFTH consecutive national championship; the Samuelson sisters of Connecticut and Stanford (the last school to defeat the Huskies, by the way); and Dawn Staley, coach at USC, who will be the next women’s national team coach, succeeding Geno.

by John Walters

“Have you heard of Susan B. Anthony?” asks Trump at a women’s empowerment event at the White House.

— Rebecca Ballhaus (@rebeccaballhaus) March 29, 2017

This is a little like asking Steve Bannon if he’s heard of George Orwell….

Starting Five

1. Make America Yates Again!*

“All you wanna do is testify, Sally, ‘fy, Sally, ‘fy

All you wanna do is testify, Sally, ‘fy, Sally, ‘fy,

All you wanna do is testify, Sally, ‘fy, Sally, ‘fy,

All you wanna do is testify, Sally, ‘fy, Sally, ‘fy

You been running all over the town, pretty,

I guess I’ll have to put your testimony before the House Intelligence Committee...

If you have yet to figure it out, Devin “No Nunes Is Good” Nunes, the chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, has little interest in actually uncovering any damning evidence against President Trump and the Worst Wing. Which is why he canceled former  acting Attorney General Sally Yates‘ date  to testify in front of the HIC on Wednesday.

*(Another Day of Trump: Day 70)

Trump fired Yates back in January when she refused to enforce his travel ban.

Incompetence and corruption meets its polar opposite

Later we learned that Yates had apprised The Worst Wing of Michael Flynn eating crackers in bed with the Russians in the first week (January 26)of 45’s presidency, but the Trump Troupe ignored the news for 17 days until the Washington Post reported it, and that forced their hand. Yates is a dangerous person to the Worst Wing and they are trying their best to silence her.

So they got Nunes to cancel her appearance before the HIC for no reason. But Salty Spice says the WH had no hand in that. Call their bluff: Talk, Sally, talk.

2. Bestbrook

Russ makes his “O” face. Remember, this is a dude who with Kevin Love and Darren Collison as teammates couldn’t get past Memphis in the Final Four

Russell Westbrook: 57 points, 13 rebounds and 11 assists last night in an OT win at Orlando. I’ve got nothing new here, other than to say if you’re a Hot Take Artist (HTA) looking to stand out from the crowd by crowing that Westbrook isn’t doing anything special, well, you’re standing out alright. This is someone who comes to perform at his absolute best each and every night (oh, and if he’d have even been halfway interested in winning All-Star Game MVP last month, he’d not have pumped the brakes in the fourth quarter and would’ve won that, too).

3. Mike Adamle and Dementia

Not everyone who plays professional football suffers CTE and/or dementia, but an disturbingly high number of them do. Mike Adamle, a Chicago treasure who set records as an undersized running back at Northwestern in the late Sixties and 1970 (he was the Big Ten MVP and an All-America fullback in 1970, a year in which he set a Northwestern single-game rushing yards record, 316, that still stands), then played six years in the NFL and became famous as NBC’s boyishly handsome sideline reporter for NFL broadcasts, last month announced that he has dementia.

Adamle first became a household name as an NBC sideline reporter in the early Eighties

Adamle is better-known to millennials as a WWE host and a co-host of The American Gladiators, but no matter how you know him, you think of the 67 year-old as affable and Wally Cleaver-esque. Another sad football footnote.

4. Amazon and Apple

Look, an Ivy League-educated businessman who owns a side biz in D.C. that actually knows what he’s doing

Shares of Apple stock (AAPL) hit a record-high this morning ($144.50), which if you adjust for the the 7-for-1 split a few years ago would mean that shares jumped over the $1,000 mark, which a few analysts predicted six or seven years ago and were considered kooks for doing so. In just the past 14 months, shares of Apple are up more than 50%.

Shares of Amazon stock (AMZN) jumped nearly $19 to $874 yesterday. Since the election only five months ago shares of Amazon have risen $157 or 22%. In the past year Amazon stock is up 46%.

These are, as you know, not sleepers. These are two of the best-known tech companies in the world. Go into any bank and try to get 3% annually in an annuity or CD. You can’t.

So is it too late to jump in on either of these? Hell, no.

Google in 2007: $244. Today: $850.

Netflix in 2012: $12.87. Today: $147.

Amazon in 2007: $69. Today: $874.

Apple in 2007: $17. Today: $144.

But wait a second, JW: Don’t you own these stocks? Isn’t it self-serving for you to promote them, so we’ll all buy them and that will increase demand and the price will increase? Unless Warren Buffett is Susie B. in disguise, I don’t think that anyone reading this buying shares will create enough of a bump to move the price. Full disclosure: I own Amazon and Netflix.

By the way, with yesterday’s 2% increase in share price, Amazon founder Jeff Bezos passed Buffett on the Richest Man in the World list and is now in second place, at $75.6 BILLION, behind only Bill Gates. If you are a fan of transparency, this is good news, since Bezos owns the Washington Post, which is doing some of the best reporting on The Worst Wing.

In 2006 Exxon was the world’s largest company by market capitalization and four of the five largest such companies were not tech (only Microsoft was in the Top 5). Today the top five companies by market cap on the planet are all tech (See ya, Tillerson; see ya, old money; NOW do you see why Donald and his old cronies are running so scared?). In order, Apple, Google, Microsoft, Amazon and Facebook.

Help me help you. In 10 years if your investment t0day in Apple or Amazon or Netflix or Google is not up 100% (that’s an EXTREMELY conservative estimate), my guess is you won’t need to worry about it because cockroaches will be atop the world’s food chain. For my money, literally and figuratively, Amazon is the surest bet on the planet. If you don’t believe me, go visit any mall and see how easy it is these days to find a parking spot.

5. Carmel High: 31 for 31

A month or so late on this—my Indianapolis stringer fell asleep at the wheel again (Dave)—but in February the Carmel (Indiana) High School girls swim team won its unprecedented THIRTY-FIRST (31) CONSECUTIVE state championship. No one else in any other sport is close. The Greyhounds won eight of 11 championship races at the meet.*

Swimming is one of those sports where high schools with plenty of money dominate ( my own has won 26 of the past 27 state championships in Arizona). But there can only be one best, and Mount Carmel is it with those 31 straight states dating back to 1987.

Now here’s the wild part: For all that success, Mount Carmel has never produced an Olympian swimmer.

*Thanks to @bmdoty for this

Reserves

Jeff Van Gundy on The Vertical this morning:

Jeff Van Gundy on the importance of being “an ass-kicking type of competitor” in the NBA. @WojVerticalNBA Podcast: https://t.co/0S9XhSCcx8 pic.twitter.com/74CIba04pj

— The Vertical (@TheVertical) March 30, 2017

And that reminded me of this photo:

Music 101

Like A Rolling Stone

One of the landmark live shows of the 20th century, as Bob Dylan and The Band show up at the Royal Albert Hall and the voice of a generation goes electric. Someone in the crowd yells out, “Judas!” and Dylan replies, “I don’t believe you…you’re a liar.” Then he proceeded to go out and perform as if his life depended on it.

Rolling Stone magazine, perhaps not the most unbiased authority (considering the name), ranked this 1965 tune No. 1 on its all time list. If Bob Dylan Live, The 1966 Royal Albert Hall Concert is not in your vinyl or CD rack, you may want to correct that.

Remote Patrol

by John Walters

Starting Five

1. Industrial Disease*

*The judges, for the younger set, want you to know that the above is a Pink Floyd album cover and a Dire Straits song title. Ah, Dire Straits: yes, we see to be approaching them.

Yesterday the Worst Wing signed an Executive Order that will eliminate environmental restrictions on business while denying the fact of climate change. And it’s a fact.

“This is an important moment for EPA,” chief of staff of the EPA Ryan Jackson wrote yesterday. “As the Administrator has mentioned many times, we do not have to choose between environmental protection and economic development.”

Trump at the EPA, which is kinda like watching Dane Cook walk into Lee Strasberg’s Actors’ Studio

This is like hearing a charlatan weight loss guy tell you that you can eat all the cake and ice cream and beer you want, and still lose weight. Sure. But then, if you’re part of that lower-income, middle America crowd that thinks a diet pill is the antidote to exercise and healthy eating, you probably believe that, too, as you struggle to fit into your 44W trousers.

Mark Knopfler wrote this 35 years ago:

‘they wanna have a war to keep us on our knees
They wanna have a war to keep their factories
They wanna have a war to stop us buying Japanese
They wanna have a war to stop Industrial Disease
They’re pointing out the enemy to keep you deaf and blind
They wanna sap your energy incarcerate your mind

Here’s Bill Nye, The Science Guy, who knows more about the physical world than everyone in the Worst Wing combined, explaining that “Clean coal is a myth.”

2.  Ferris Wheels Out Football Coach

Shark’s machine of a football team went to two 4A state title games in 11 years.

Remember Jim Sharkey, the Ferris High School football coach who ALLEDGEDLY, ALLEGEDLY, ALLEGEDLY indecently exposed himself to a player or three at a cookout last summer? Sharkey, who took the Saxons to a pair of state championship games in 11 seasons and won one, did not have his contract renewed yesterday.

Maybe he did it. I don’t know. Worth noting that earlier this month, Don Van Lierop, the basketball coach at Ferris, retired from coaching after 30 years. In 2008, after leading Ferris to consecutive state championships and a 59-game win streak, Van Lierop was accused of rape by a female student. Two weeks later she admitted that she had fabricated the story to exact revenge on Van Lierop’s star player.

3. Another Day of Trump (69)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5pD9bD6DSo

Watch Stephen Colbert‘s monologue for the moments that begin at :25 and 8:00 (if you don’t have time to watch the whole thing).

4. Russian Dressing Down

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1_sfSuI0xo

Three instances, in just one day, of white men lecturing/being dismissive of minorities in professional settings. If you think what Bill O’Reilly, Sean Spicer and this Texas chicken-fried pol who called his fellow council member, who is Latino, “boy,” are doing here is simply talking tough, then you’re just denying what’s plain to see. In each case, they’re talking down to a person because of the color of that person’s skin or their gender. They’re letting them know that they don’t respect them because, independent of their argument, they are female or brown or both.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRStcNtnMiY

April Ryan’s question was ill-formed and starting off with “You don’t seem so happy,” was dumb, but for him to lecture her about shaking her head (when she wasn’t) was also poor.

O’Reilly’s comments are the worst. Basically, he knew that Congresswoman Maxine Waters was making a cogent point, so instead of taking that on, he did the old schoolyard tactic of 1) mocking her looks and 2) letting her know that because she is a woman he is always going to be more interested in her physical appearance than what she has to say. He’s a pig and a troglodyte and I hope he dies from a very painful disease.

Fox News, they’re just pigs.

WATCH: Important. Please take a minute to watch these clips I put together from Fox & Friends.The President watches this show every morning. pic.twitter.com/l60mAWUBkq

— Yashar (@yashar) March 28, 2017

5. Kenya Dig It

Cheptai, the first of six straight Kenyans to finish

At the World Cross-Country Championships in Kampala, Uganda, this weekend (I’m pretty sure SportsCenter led off with this story on Sunday night so my apologies for the regurgitation), the Kenyan women finished in 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th and 6th places. Just in case you thought the UConn women were the most dominant distaff team in action this weekend.

That’s a perfect score—only the top four women place, and you get a point for what place you finish, i.e., the lower the score the better—of 10 for the Kenyans, which cannot be topped. It is also unprecedented. So that you can win at Jeopardy or a trivia contest some day, here were the top six finishers, from 1st place on: Irene Cheptai, Alice Nawowuna, Lilian Rengeruk, Hyvin Jepkemoi, Agnes Tirop and Faith Kipyegon.

So, yeah, you could be the fourth fastest female distance runner in the world and not appear in the Olympics because you couldn’t make the Kenyan Olympic team.

For those wondering, the top non-African finisher was the USA’s Aliphine Tuliamuk, who finished 15th and was born and raised in Kenya. Stephanie Bruce, an American from UCSB who finished 22nd, was the first person not of African lineage to finish.

Music 101 

The Cave

Oh, Mumford and Sons. We had such high hopes for you. But where are you now, nearly a full eight years after the release of Sigh No More. Damn, that’s nearly an entire Beatles career. Still loved that album, but will this band be no more than just an updated version of Bruce Hornsby and The Range?

Remote Patrol

McDonald’s All-America Game

7 p.m. ESPN

The best way to induce Kentucky fans to stop sending death threats to referees is to get them to watch this game, which has four future Wildcats in it. Do it for the Bluegrass redass in your life.

by Michael DePaoli

THE ME IN TEAM 

Devin Booker, the 13th pick in the 2015 NBA draft for the Phoenix Suns, scored 70points last Friday in a losing effort against the Boston Celtics.

The real story is that the Phoenix Suns are losing games on purpose in an effort to gain a higher draft choice in the next draft.

And, that is why I have lost interest in the Phoenix Suns. It has become a ME team in an ever-increasing ME sport.

I grew up with the Suns. I was three years old in their first season. We had some great players: Dick Van Arsdale, Connie Hawkins, Paul Westphal, Alvin Adams, Tom Chambers, Kevin Johnson, and Charles Barkley. We had players on the Suns whose effort must be admired, like Danny Ainge, and Jeff Hornacek, and Garfield Heard, and Fourth Quarter Frank Johnson, and Truck Robinson, and Ricky Sobers.

The Suns were rarely the most talented team on the floor, but we won so many games with effort and teamwork. We once had a player named Ron Lee and we used to count how many times he “hit the floor” while chasing a loose ball.

And now, the ownership of the Suns wants to lose games on purpose. They give us a circus act to see how many points can be scored in a lost game. Disgusting.

I am going to guess that there are fifty players in the NBA (No, at least a hundred players!) that could score seventy points in a game if you told them: “We do not care about winning, do not tire yourself out playing defense, just go out there and shoot as often as you want and score as many points as you can.”

But, that is not basketball. That is just low.

I am not knocking Devin Booker, or his talent. I just wish he played on a team that cared about winning.

TOMI LAHREN 

Tomi Lahren was reportedly fired from Glenn Beck’s show “The Blaze” because she stated on The View:

“I can’t sit here and be a hypocrite and say I’m for limited government but I think that the government should decide what women do with their bodies.”

And, that is just another example of how conservative ideology falls apart when you start to use your brain.

TRUMP EMPIRE

I am not advocating any boycott. But, I was just remembering that old movie Trading Places, where Eddie Murphy says: “You know, it occurs to me that the best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people.”

And, not that you should, but if you wanted to boycott Trump, you should remember that his empire is highly leveraged, which means that it all could come crashing down if he had two or three bad years.

It sure would be ironic if Trump lived a long life, long enough to become poor, and he had to live in a government-funded nursing home. Yeah, we would call that justice.

by John Walters

Starting Five

From The Snake to snake eyes. And, by the way, this is not the finger the Raiders are giving to their East Bay fans.

1. Commitment To Exodus

The Oakland Raiders are moving—again. That’s three times in the past 37 years. This time it’s to Las Vegas. I’ll have a Newsweek column on this to link here shortly.Viva Los Raiders!

2. UConn, We Yawn*

Napheesa Collier, one of two starters who was named a first team All-American on Monday, paced the Huskies with 28 points and 12 boards (though Geno told Holly Rowe during a break that she wasn’t playing defense)

*The judges will also accept “Huskiezzzzz” or “Husk Ease”

The Huskies down a decent Oregon team by 38 points to gain entry into yet another Final Four—their 10th consecutive Final Four, if you’re keeping score, and 18th overall under Geno Auriemma. You know me: I’m not a “UConn is bad for women’s basketball” guy. I just think what we have here is the case of a head coach who is two to three generations ahead of his peers.

On Monday night’s broadcast Kara Lawson, who is a pretty level-headed gal, repeated her assertion that she believes Connecticut, winners of 111 straight, will win 200 in a row. Barring injuries to at least two starters (something that happened the year I spent with them in 2000-01), I agree with her.

3. The Tomi Lahren Chronicles, a.k.a. “As Andy Warhol Checks His Watch”

Lahren will soon be running for a seat…at Soul Cycle

It seems like only yesterday—it practically was—when young, blonde and nubile Tomi Lahren was heralding the next wave of blonde Republican mouthpieces. Lahren, an anchor for some network called The Blaze, was appearing on The Daily Show and Real Time, and fielding compliments (and Lord knows what else) from afar from Donald Trump.

Then the 24 year-old UNLV grad appeared on The View and made the fatal mistake of being forthright. Lahren told the panel that she is pro-choice because it would be hypocritical to be in favor of limited government (which hard-line conservatives claim to be) and yet be in favor of the government messing around in our bedrooms (which hard-line conservatives love to do). “You know what?” Lahren said. “I’m for limited government, so stay out of my guns, and you can stay out of my body as well.”

Why do I get the feeling that Lahren will be covering the Red Sox for NESN soon?

Tomi, Tomi, Tomi. NEVER hit them with logic. What were you thinking? No, let me rephrase that: What?!? You were thinking?

Anyway, last week The Blaze suspended her show, Tomi. Then on Monday The New York Post reported that The Blaze had “permanently banned” Lahren from its air for voicing her opinion. The Blaze is a patriotic network that is here to defend The Constitution, even if it has to trample an employee’s First Amendment rights to do so (I know that they did not restrict her freedom to voice her opinion; it’s just funny that someone got fired and permanently banned for expressing an opinion by a network that claims to love The Constitution).

Not unlike Milo, Tomi is actually pretty bright and “libtards” who dismiss either of them simply because they defend, for example, Trump, do so at their own peril. LISTEN. Then judge. But what’s funny to me now is, I wonder what Lahren thinks of her party now that she’s seen the other end of that stick. You’re not allowed to disagree with any one of their platforms, even if your principles, values and intellect tell you otherwise. Disobedience is weakness. Loyalty is all.

WATCH: Kayleigh McEnany: Obama rushed off to golf after Daniel Pearl was beheaded.

Pearl was killed in 2002. Obama was a state senator. pic.twitter.com/5QkFRgjoR4

— Yashar (@yashar) March 28, 2017

Now here is a blonde who should be permanently banned, from CNN.

4. ComicCongress*

*Another Day of Trump (Day 68)

These two look like servers at the Steakateria where I worked, except the servers would be much smarter

Devin Nunes defending his potentially corrupt and inarguably incompetent handling of the House Intelligence Committee investigation of Trump and Russia by blasting his critics and saying, “It’s all politics here.” Dude, you’re in Washington, D.C.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Phy8-X8pFHE

Paul Ryan stubbornly refusing to surrender his good “Go ahead, neighbor, you can worry my lawn mower” facade as the president he has backed (after first not backing him) blames HIM for the repeal-and-replace rejection.

Sad! Meanwhile, watch this “A Closer Look” from last night if for no other reason than what Seth Meyers points out that Trump’s “Welp” face reminds you of the face a sitcom dad makes just before the closing credits roll (8:00 mark).

5. Baggy Pants and the Nitwit*

*The judges never thought they’d ever have the opportunity to name-drop this 1977 animated series.

Tucson goes Flori, Duh, as a prowler at Miles School on Friday attempted to make a dash and got caught by the baggy pants. Either that or this is the newest exercise in CrossFit. I dunno.

Reserves

As we mentioned yesterday, today is the 25th anniversary of Christian Laettner’s shot. If you want to read an excellent story on that game, here’s one from one of the best writers whose byline ever appeared in Sports Illustrated, Alexander Wolff.

You know why this story is so outstanding? Reporting. Instead of just Hot-Taking his way through an event, Wolff talked to dozens of people to fashion a narrative. That’s journalism, kids.

Music 101

Drop The Pilot

Look! You get this fantastic Joan Armatrading song with the vintage MTV station identification promo. I didn’t become familiar with Armatrading until I heard her greatest hits album, Track Record, in 1990, but I wished I’d known about her when this single was released in 1983. Joan had some outstanding tunes (this one, “Call Me Names,” “When I Get It Right” and “The Weakness In Me”) and if she’d looked like Tina Turner or Whitney Houston, this Caribbean native would have been huge. She just happened to come along at the peak of MTV AND New Wave music. Bad timing.

Remote Patrol

Goodfellas

11 p.m. AMC

Earlier in the day (4:30 p.m.) on this same network there’s another Martin Scorcese film, The Departed, that won Best Picture and landed Scorcese his long overdue Best Director Oscar. But this 1990 film, which was nominated for both of those Oscars but won neither (thanks a lot, Kevin Costner: tatanka!), is far superior to both The Departed and Dances With Wolves. And I’d venture to say that without Goodfellas, maybe we never get The Sopranos, which launched the entire era of Peak TV.