by John Walters

Starting Five

“And What Is Aleppo?”

I don’t know, Gary Johnson: Is it a male erectile dysfunction prescription drug? A sixth Marx Brother? Is it related to a hippo?

I was watching live on MSNBC yesterday when Mike Barnicle asked Johnson a very straight-forward question about the city that is at the epicenter of the Syrian refugee crisis—it was not a gotcha question—and I couldn’t believe it when the former New Mexico governor had that reply. I thought, Wow, I’ve never seen a man implode his own candidacy live on TV.

Still, is this really any worse than some (most) of the things Donald Trump has said in the past 14 months? Is it much worse than Trump, when asked two nights ago by Matt Lauer what READING he had done to learn about foreign policy, pulling a list out of his blazer pocket that supposedly had the names of generals (New Jersey Generals?) who support him, as if that’s an adequate response?

Johnson messed up; later in the day, he owned it. The truth is that if he were in the White House, an aide would get him up to speed on this in five minutes and we’d all move on.

As Barack Obama’s approval rating goes up another few digits….

2. Austin…Power

Yankee rookie first baseman Tyler Austin was called up to the big leagues on Saturday, August 13. In that time the Baby Bomber has three home runs: one in his first at-bat, one on his 25th birthday (this past Tuesday) and one last night, a two-out, full-count, bottom of the ninth solo walk-off shot to lead the Bombers to their fifth straight victory.

It was a right-field bleacher shot that is an out in many ballparks, but it was good enough here to lift the Pinstripes to a season-high nine games over .500.

I’ve been watching New York pretty much every night for the past three weeks. This is an entirely different team, if not lineup, than the one Alex Rodriguez bid adieu to….you’ve got to give Hal Steinbrenner, Brian Cashman and Joe Girardi credit. It may be too much to say that they knew what they were doing, but their plan worked to perfection.

A team that was 56-56 three days before A-Rod “retired” is now 74-65 and just two games out of a wildcard position, and four out of first place.

Want just one example of how the Yankees have turned things around?  Young pitcher Luis Severino: The 22 year-old was 0-8 as a starter with a 8.58 ERA before the turnaround and being demoted to Triple-A. The Yanks have since brought him up as a middle reliever and he has yet to allow a run in 14-plus innings while allowing just two hits to 50 batters face (.044 batting average against).

It’s September. Everyone believes in their team. But the Yanks, who have won eight of their past 10 series (losing both to Baltimore), have that look. And what’s crazier, it’s that the New York Yankees, for the first time since maybe 1996, are the young, plucky, likable underdogs.

3. Helmet Cam

In Denver, you’ll see fewer head shots at the Donna Baldwin Talent Agency than you did at Invesco Field last night. The Broncos, as they did in the AFC Championship Game versus New England, were just teeing off at offensive players’ helmets. The worst I saw was that late hit on Panther QB Cam Newton that should have cost Denver the game (if Graham Gano had made the field goal).

It was funny to hear Cris Collinsworth say something like, “You just have to wonder how Cam is feeling and about his health,” which is nice, but it would have been more honest to say, “Well, that’s going to make a great ESPN tinkling piano segment in 10-15 years when Cam is dripping porridge from his lips, seated in a semi-lit room, as he struggles to remember the names of his children.”

 

Because that’s what going on here. I don’t know if the NFL has a targeting automatic ejection penalty (one of you can tell me, I hope), but it needs to have one. And I don’t know why the NFL pretends to care about its players, or talks about having independent medical professionals on the field to diagnose concussions, if all’s they’re going to do is let obviously concussed players continue playing because 1) they don’t want to come out and 2) does anyone watching the final two minutes of that game NOT want to see Cam Newton on the field?

Make no mistake: The Broncos are head-hunters. And it’s working for them. So why stop?

4. Fraulein on the Baseline

If you don’t know Angelique Kerber, she’s Germany’s answer to Maria Sharapova. The 28 year-old Bremen native was probably expecting to face Serena Williams in the U.S. Open Women’s final on Saturday, but Serena lost to Karolina Pliskova, keeping her stuck on 22 Grans Slams (tied with Steffi Graf in the Open era).

No matter what happens on Saturday Kerber, who won her first career Grand Slam title last January in Melbourne, will be the WTA No. 1 next week. She’s the first German No. 1 since…Steffi Graf.

5. Eight Days a Week

It hasn’t received as much TV ad support as Sully (what has?), but one week from today a Ron Howard documentary about the early days of Beatlemania will be released. Both surviving members of the Fab Four take part and the trailer looks outstanding. This was before my time, but I’d wager that the Beatles were the greatest pop culture phenomenon of the 20th century (sorry, Star Wars fans). For the record: the Beatles played their final concert 50 years ago on August 29, 1966.

In 1964 Howard was no less famous than John, Paul, George and Ringo, as he played Opie on The Andy Griffith Show, which ran from 1960-68 and was the No. 4 rated show in the U.S.A. when the British Invasion hit.

Music 101

I Remember You

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivFYVAntpw0

How many musicians go from being lead singer of hair-metal gods Skid Row to the same role for VW bus-touring, Stars Hollow rockers Hep Alien? Take a bow, Sebastian Bach. This 1989 power ballad is Peak Hair Metal (it soared to No. 6 on the charts), and somewhere an old friend of mine who once worked for the Chicago Tribune is banging the back of his cranium against the driver’s seat headrest.

True story: I was once at a party thrown by Chris Fowler’s future wife. Skid Row guitarist Dave “The Snake” Szabo, a central Jersey native like myself, was there. We chatted (we interrupt this anecdote to remind you I was in way over my head being at this party). He told me a great story about talent. Szabo, as a precociously talented teen, was hanging out with Jon Bon Jovi, a few years older. He showed JBJ that he could play basically any song and asked him what separates JBJ and other rock stars from himself. And JBJ just looked at him, handed him a guitar, and said, “Write a hit.”

Remote Patrol

Patriots at Cardinals

Sunday NBC 8:30 p.m.

The Pats return to a venue that has been the scene of Bill Belichick’s greatest pain and also perhaps triumph, but without Tom Brady. The Cardinals are expecting to go very far this season. NBC has itself a gem. Best game of the weekend. It’s G-A-R-O-P-P-O-L-O.