by John Walters
The doctor is “In.” A Medium Happy 87th to Bob Newhart, the second half of CBS’ Saturday night Midwest 1-2 punch (after Mary Tyler Moore) in the Seventies
Starting Five
As second-option QBs went, Tyrone Swoopes, who ran for three TDs, including this game-winner, outplayed Malik Zaire
Austin Strong*
*The judges will accept “Swoopes, There It Is”
Texas wins The Battle of 50-47, a two-overtime affair, over No. 10 Notre Dame. Charlie Strong gets, if not his signature win (that was versus OU last October), then at least a huge propulsion victory that will keep the most powerful boosters in the nation at bay for a month.
As Saints go, Equinameous had just as good a weekend as Mother Teresa
Terrific win for the Burnt Orange, who lost this season-opening matchup 38-3 in South Bend last September. For the Irish, a porous defense must improve (“Tillery Death Do Us Part”), the safety situation is spotty, Malik Zaire will be No. 2 going forward, and a great tradition of never being on the correct side of a targeting call during a Saturday evening ABC prime-time game continues. Oh, and Equinameous St. Brown (two first-half TD catches, including the one above) is going to be a stud. As is Texas true frosh QB Shane Buechele.
2. I’m With Hermine
Hermine was much worse in the Carolinas. She’s lingered off the coast ever since circling north of DelMarVa
Is she a storm? A hurricane? A post-Tropical Cyclone? Hermine went full-force at the Florida Panhandle, but she’s been something of a tease for those living in the Northeast this Labor Day Weekend (and Induced Labor Day Weekend). The main takeaway is that cruise ships aren’t going to refund your tickets if you choose not to go, so as long as the ship leaves port, you’re screwed. Or you can videotape the adventure and hope it makes the news.
3. Houston, You ARE The Problem
Wilson: The start of something big
Remember when folks in Houston aspired to simple quests such as going to the moon. On Saturday the Cougars’ Brandon Wilson got the season off right by traveling as far on a football field—109 yards—as anyone can. The missed field goal run back: What a time to be alive!
Chubb: That was then….
Also: The emergence of Alabama frosh QB Jalen Hurts “So Good” may be enough to forestall Chris Berman’s retirement….Nick Chubb (222 yards versus UNC) is back! Wheeeeeee!…..Were we really betting against Wisconsin at Lambeau Field? Shame on us all…USC’s problems are going to get worse before they get better (yet again)…How about Lane Kiffin with the hashtag #3:14AM LAX?….Michigan and Ohio State in Columbus, November 26, is all you really need to know in the Big Ten…
…this is wow.
Brent Musburger parenthetically about Louisville’s Bobby Petrino, during Auburn-Clemson, “When he gets off the motorcycle, he’s GOOD!”….It was fun listening to Gary Danielson heap praise on UCLA QB Josh RosenRosen, saying basically no zone defense can contain him, just as RosenRosen panicked in the pocket and tossed up a duck that A&M intercepted (the Lone Star State went 3-0 in big games this weekend)…and a terrific gesture by Nebraska, not bringing out a punter the first time it needed to punt, in honor of Sam Foltz, who died in an automobile accident in July (and then someone burglarized his brother’s house while he was at the game, which is just as low as it goes).
4. Bard To The Bone
My high school friend Oz had a few extra tickets to Broadway’s Something Rotten this weekend, and I was the beneficiary (he had two more; it was fun watching Oz, a West Coaster, approach strangers in the hopes of gifting them two free tickets but scaring them away by opening with, “Do you have plans for this evening?”). If you haven’t seen it, GO! Go now!
It’s incredibly clever and funny and musical and smart. Quickly: two struggling playwright brother, Nick and Nigel Bottom, are finding it tough to find success in London during the time of Shakespeare. One brother loathes The Bard; the other worships him. We saw the understudy in the video above, Eric Sciotto, as Shakesepeare, and he was the real deal. If that show has someone better than he, that is outrageous fortune (it apparently does; Christian Borle, the dude up top, won a Tony for Best Actor in a Musical for this performance).
The show, which opened in April of 2015 and will have a nationwide tour next year, has a plethora of references to both Shakespearian plays and Broadway shows. A complete list here.
(p.s. You think Freddie Mercury inspired this interpretation of Will I. Am.?)
5. Rush Hour Traffic
Simpson (left) broke the tape first
At the Fifth Avenue Mile on Saturday here in New York City, both Eric Jenkins and Jenny Simpson each won their respective gender-exclusive races by .10 of a second. Jenkins, who grew up in Portsmouth, N.H., and transferred to the University of Oregon after two years at Northeastern, ran 3:49.4 to edge Olympic gold medalist Matthew Centrowitz.
Jenkins, who took down a gold medalist, did not even make the U.S. Olympic team
Simpson ran a 4:18.3 to win her fifth Fifth Avenue Mile, the most of any man or woman. There were 6,139 total finishers in the race. Hope you ran your fastest mile.
Music 101
Somebody To Love
Freddie Mercury would have turned 70 today. As rock stars go, they did not come any more operatic or charismatic, Here’s Queen’s 1976 hit, which went to No. 2 in the UK and only No. 13 here, from A Day At The Races. It’s only three voices—those of Mercury, drummer Roger Taylor and guitarist Brian May—and a little over-dubbing creating that monster gospel choir sound here. If you want to hear another fantastic version, George Michael demonstrated that he always had the voice to go with those jeans during this Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert in 1992.
Mercury. No lead singer ever more belonged on a Broadway stage.
Remote Patrol
No. 11 Mississippi vs. No. 4 Florida State
8 p.m. ESPN
The NFL team that drafts Leonard Fournette over Dalvin Cook will be making a mistake
The Seminoles have played 10 games in Orlando since 1952 and won them all. It just feels that with this defense, Dalvin Cook, and Jimbo Fisher being past his divorce proceedings, that the Seminoles are going to roll Miss.
Happy Non-Labor Day! (Sorry the MH judges had to work on a government holiday).