by John Walters
“There’s a sucker born every minute” –a Medium Happy 206th to P.T. Barnum
Starting Five
Now they’ll be teammates
K.D. and the Sunshine Band
If you can’t beat ’em—after being up 3-1 in the Western Conference finals and by 7 at home with 5:48 to go in Game 6—join ’em. Perhaps we live in an ESPN’ized HOT TAKE world, or perhaps it’s due to the massive growth of fantasy sports, in which fans root not for teams but for individuals, but I hear jokers talking about how Kevin Durant deserves HIS ring. Like LeBron deserved HIS ring.
I’m an old fart. I root for teams if I root for anyone at all to win championships, not individuals. Happy for Durant that he believes he improved his shot at a title (I honestly don’t believe he did), but I would have loved to see him take the franchise he began with to the championship. No, he owes OKC no more loyalty than this franchise gave its original city, Seattle. It’s not about that. It’s about the guys with whom he has played for years, such as Russell Westbrook.
Those were the days….
There’s no “tarnishing” of his legacy, etc. But the Warriors primarily improved themselves by knocking out the second-best team in their conference. I look back at that young Thunder nucleus of Durant, Westbrook, Harden and Ibaka and wonder what might have been.
Here’s Screamin’ A. calling Durant “a coward” for moving to Golden State. And here’s Chris Broussard saying “We say” and “We say.” Who are WE? Can ESPN folk stop telling us what we all COLLECTIVELY believe? Shut up. Stop it. I’m actually more on SAS’s side here and Broussard, as usual, is kind of an idiot.
I agree with SAS, just not to the degree. He’s not a coward, of course. But otherwise, yeah, I’m with SAS here…
2. Drops of Jupiter
Taken with an iPhone? And WHO is taking this photo?
Having rescued astronaut Mark Watney, NASA is now taking a victory lap by confirming that its space probe Juno has now reached Jupiter’s orbit, a five-year mission in which it traveled 540 million miles.
The probe is now in an elliptical orbit around the mostly gaseous planet that will take 53 days to complete; each orbit, that is. Jupiter is 11x wider and 300x wider than Earth although, like Rush Limbaugh, it is mostly just hot and toxic gas. It is the fifth planet from the sun.
3. Agony in Eugene
Montano fell with less than 200 meters remaining in the 800
On the final turn of the women’s 800 meters Olympic Trials final, favorites Alysia Montano (above) and Brenda Martinez clipped one another. Martinez lost her stride while Montano did a a face plant. Neither qualified for Rio. Kate Grace, a Yale alum, won the race.
Watch this video of Montano, who is not physically injured, getting up and finishing the final 150 yards or so in Eugene. Heartbreaking.
Otherwise, Hayward Field has been Galen Rupp Arena thus far at the Trials. The former Oregon middle-distance runner, who has already qualified for Rio in the marathon, won the 10,000 and has advanced to Friday’s final in the 5,000.
4. “Machu Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-cchuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu”*
“And I’m free, free-falln’…..”
*The judges will also accept “In Ruins” or “Inca Pacitated”
A German tourist (it’s always a German tourist) fell to his death last weekend while posing for a photo at Machu Picchu in Peru. Oliver Park, 51, had crossed into a restricted area and was apparently trying to take a mid-leap photograph, but lost his footing and fell 100 meters into a ravine.
5. Florida Gets Slimed
Florida needs those algae eaters you put in your fish tank….
Masses of green algae, toxic green algae, are infesting Florida’s water ways. In less scientific, more biblical times, this would have been described as a plague. As a punishment by Yahweh for the sins of Floridians, if of course, Floridians ever did anything dumb or heinous or against the laws of common decency. Which they don’t. Thank God.
The algae makes the water stink along the Treasure Coast in Florida.
Music 101
Touch Me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBKkYQaByew
Jim Morrison, Rock Star. Here’s the lead singer of The Doors performing on The Ed Sullivan Show on September 17, 1967. Earlier in the show they’d performed “Light My Fire” and had rebuffed the show’s producers’ demand that they change the line “Girl, we couldn’t get much higher” to “Girl, we couldn’t get much better,” and so were banned for life from the show (in Morrison’s case, that sentence lasted less than four years). This song failed to chart as high as “Light My Fire” (a No. 1 hit, and deservedly so), only reaching No. 3, but it has so much panache. Love the strings. Love the brass. A very unusual but confident rock song. And Morrison has a majestic voice.
Remote Patrol
The Duke with Monument Valley behind him. One of the true iconic closing scenes in a film.
The Searchers
9:45 p.m. TCM
Director John Ford’s 1956 classic, featuring John Wayne and Natalie Wood (her younger sister, Lana, plays her as a younger person). Redolent of The Revenant, but with more of a metaphorical feel of the death of the American West as a wilderness.
I have not listened to nor watched SAS in the last 3 days but I guess we (argh) share some of the same sentiment on KD & the Warriors – I find it DISGUSTING! More so by the Warriors than KD although I think less of him too. It’s actually unbelievable that a move like this is even allowed to happen by the league. And NO, I don’t think what LeBron did in 2010 is the same at all! The Heat in 2010 had NOT just been to 2 back-to-back Finals, they had not won the title the year before, they did not JUST set a new league W-L record & did not have the most recent or any MVP on its roster. LBJ & Bosh joining Wade MADE a “super team”, it was not already in place!
As you may have guessed (although I did not actually write it), I was NOT a big fan of the Warriors last season but that was because (1) I saw them as the #1 obstacle to Sweet Pea’s 3rd championship ( 🙂 ) & (2) because I was just sick of hearing about them. They were on TV ALL THE TIME & it seemed as if the entire country had jumped on the Dubs bandwagon. Yuck. Anyhoo, now I don’t just dislike them, I DETEST them! Hell, why don’t the Cavs just hire the REST of the 2016 NBA All-Stars for THEIR team?! Screw the rest of the league. Pathetic!
Also, for all the folks who say “no one will remember or care” that KD’s ring(s) were achieved in this manner have NO understanding of sports fandom – they/we will NEVER let him forget!
And please tell me – HOW is the use of PEDs by a single athlete any WORSE than this? If Kevin Durant wins a championship with the Warriors, he CHEATED as much as any doper. In fact, I’d argue it’s worse because PED use alone does NOT get you the win & you still are relying on YOUR own (enhanced) efforts.
I watched the OT Women’s 800 last night & while I’ve always liked Montano, I think she made a spectacle of herself on the track. The WAILING & repeatedly falling down until she finally got her butt across the finish line was embarrassing. Did you see Martinez do that? No.
Meanwhile, last week at the Olympic Swimming Trials, several 2012 gold medalists either did not make the Rio team at all or just barely. And ALL of them handled their crushed Olympic dreams &/or ending of swim careers with such dignity & grace that it made me just as proud as witnessing their 2012 triumphs : Grevers, Coughlin, Clary, Hardy, C.Jones, Schmitty.
Susie B.,
Regarding your TV comment: Granted, Golden State surpassed the 25 game limit (was going for the record; justified reasoning), but here you go — http://deadspin.com/nba-national-tv-espn-tnt-abc-nba-tv-1723767952
Your insane bias is starting to show again. Is it less interesting if Golden State wins the championship with this core? Sure. Is it cheating? No. Remember, Cleveland is paying Kevin Love $21 million per year. If Cleveland were to still have Wiggins (rookie contract), they’d probably have been able to go after Kevin Durant. Lebron James, Kevin Durant, Kyrie Irving, Andrew Wiggins. Would that have been considered cheating?
You play with the cards you’re dealt.
I wasn’t referring to just the # of televised games, the TALK (& writing) about the Warriors was incessant throughout the season. Only the trumped-up crap (see how I made a ‘political statement there without actually discussing politics? jdubs should be so proud! 😉 ) about LBJ’s “subtweeting” & team supposed “disfunction” pushed the Dubs off the NBA talk shows. For about 2-3 weeks. Then it was back to Steph & the Dubs 24-7. Until the conference Finals.
And as much as I like Kevin Love, are you comparing him to the MVP of just 3 years ago? Come on, even I recognize that Durant is a better player!
And my “bias” actually has very little to do with how I feel about this disgusting move. In fact, the only connection is that for the ENTIRE 1st year that I watched LBJ & the Heat, ALL I heard & read about was how LeBron “TOOK A SHORTCUT” , that he “didn’t believe in himself enough (!) to win a championship on his own” (as IF one player EVER wins the NBA title!), that the SPURS & later the WARRIORS (haha) were so superior because THEY were built the “natural way” (i.e. drafting & developing the players). So, yes, I’m a bit touchy on the subject, but my revulsion at this move would be the same even if I was not Sweet Pea’s super fan. ( 🙂 )
In fact, the new money alone (i.e. the huge contract increases) has me once again questioning how much longer I will even keep watching/caring about pro basketball. The insane money jump back in the 90s is one of the reasons I stopped watching the NBA entirely for 13 years. Hey, I like money too & would LOVE to be rich, but for god sake, the MEDIAN HOUSEHOLD INCOME in this country is just $50,000. A YEAR. That an AVERAGE NBA player will now make about $5 MILLION a year is tough to rationalize. I don’t blame the players, they’re just trying to get what they can. I blame the LEAGUE & the owners. Did they ever consider LOWERING the TICKET prices now that they have all this new TV money so MORE REGULAR folk (y’know, like the families living on $50K/yr) could actually attend 1 or more games? Hell no!
And finally, to answer your question, if the Cavs did not have a current Big 3, but had won last year’s title & was again in this year’s Final, and had just won a historic 73 games this season, then yes, adding MVP Durant would have been cheating!* The NBA, despite the so-called CAP (LOL!) is now a true “ARMS RACE” & possibly on the road to self-destruction if they don’t change the rules, possibly to a hard CAP. What really kills me is that for the 3 years I watched the Heat, I kept hearing/reading how the league had “FIXED it” so 3 “superstars” could never put themselves together again on the same team. Well, HOW’S THAT WORKIN?
* Now that one recent MVP has been allowed to join the current (“unanimous”) MVP on a EXISTING “super team”, the doors for ANY team who has owners willing to pay ANY amount of “luxury tax” are now flung open. In fact, the Warriors have now made it a necessity. If small market teams start to die off & the league shrinks year by year, we can mark 2016 as ground zero & the rapacious Warriors’ as the “terrorists”. (Did I go too far there? Well, the Warriors have gone too far! All is fair in love & basketball, right?).
And Jacob – I had to write SOMETHING that would bring you back to the comment section since Sweet Pea & his Cavs won their historic championship. 🙂
2. The most unbelievable thing about NASA’s mission? The fact that Juno cleared TSA, didn’t lose any bags, and arrived in Jupiter’s orbit five years later without one single asteroid or flight delay. That’s science fiction beyond Isaac Asimov’s wildest dreams.
4. I feel horribly for Oliver Park who lost his footing on terra firma, and ultimately his life. I also feel like MH judges might have worked too many doubles this weekend.
Inca Pacitated is pure gold. Never bury the lede.
Thank you for mentioning panache. I’m a huge fan of that word, and it’s an increasingly rare commodity these days.