by John Walters

Starting Five

1. Acquittin’ Time

If you’re over 35 years old, you remember the players in the O.J. Simpson trial the way you remember the cast of Saved By The Bell or Beverly Hills: 90210. You remember the leads—O.J., Marcia Clark, Christopher Darden, Johnny Cochran, Robert Shapiro, Mark Fuhrman—and you remember the minor characters—Kato Kaelin, Judge Ito, A.C. Cowlings and Robert Kardashian, who probably sired all of the “Keeping Up With” cast, but then again, who knows?

Anyway, last night was the first of FX”s 10 installments of The People Vs. O.J. Simpson and they got it right. It’s not True Detective in its cinematography or lyrical script, but they’re not doing Sharknado camp here. They’re doing they’re best to tell the story. Reminds me of another made-for-TV movie about the most famous L.A. murders prior to those of Nicole Simpson and Ronald Goldman, the Tate-LaBianca murders committed by the Manson Family. That 1974 film, Helter Skelter, is downright chilling.

The main difference between the two films? Steve Railsback became Charles Manson. It was scary. We all love Cuba Gooding, Jr., but he’s just not O.J. I don’t know who could play O.J., but Rod Tidwell just doesn’t look physically imposing enough.

Here’s Sepinwall’s review….

2. Final Four Gone Conclusion?

Wisconsin is 13-9.

Duke and Kentucky, who played in last April’s national championship game, are each 16-6.

Only Michigan State, at 19-4, resembles a team that could return to the Final Four this season, although in the Big Ten both Iowa and Indiana look better lately.

Anyway, it’s quite the wide open season. That’s what one-and-done has done. It’s impossible to have superior talent AND experience now. But it’ll be nice to have some fresh faces receiving No. 1 seeds.

3. Tom Brady, Derek Jeter and Ric Flair Walk into a ‘bor

This was a stroke of genius by Captain Come-Back-To-Ann-Arbor. He’s turned National Signing Day into New Year’s Rockin’ Eve in Ann Arbor. Granted, the guests of honor, the signees (Rashan Gary?), will not be there, but maybe in future years they will be. Other guests at the invite-only event will be Lou Holtz, Jim Leyland and Desmond Howard. The event will be live-streamed on Jeter’s site, The Players Tribune.

To get all these celebs to leave the Caribbean, California or Florida in the first week of February to be at Michigan is a feat in itself. Whoever is pulling the strings behind Harbaugh’s P.R. machine is doing a great job.

4. Giraffe Manor

My cubicle neighbor, Douglas Main, has a terrific piece on a reserve outside of Nairobi that  raises Rothschild giraffes (unlike some other sports-pop culture blogs out there, the editors at Medium Happy are all about protecting wildlife, which is why we don’t run crazy Animal-attacks-man stories that fail to acknowledge that the man was probably in the animal’s habitat—animals, the picture above notwithstanding, rarely do home invasions—or that, you know, people kill animals every day in order to eat but we’re just protected from seeing the slaughterhouses up close.

5. 11.22.63

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXUx__qQGew

I still have not read the Stephen King novel about the John F. Kennedy assassination, but the trailer for the 8-episode mini series, which will air on Hulu beginning on President’s Day (!), is out. The film stars James Franco as Jake Epping, a teacher who is going to attempt to travel back in time to change the past (and hopefully, rescue Aron Ralston from a tight spot in Utah before he must chop off his own arm). Rod Serling would  ask for royalties on this plot (Spoiler Alert: something tells me that fate has it in for our well-intentioned teacher).

Come to think of it, this is Franco’s second big feature film whose title is mostly numbers.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, If you have Hulu and you have a spot on the couch, I’d love to Costanza the flick so invite me over for President’s Day.

Music 101

China Grove

Somehow the Fraternal Order of Doobage, a.k.a. the Doobie Brothers, are not yet in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. And they were even considering Janet Jackson this year before this group?!? Are they high—because we know the Doobies were. With this song, Black Water, Long Train Running, and Listen to the Music, the Doobies defined early to mid-70s American rock. Few bands permeated the radio as much as this group from northern California. Off the top of my head, only the Eagles got more airplay. The Doobies sold more than 40 million albums. They must have been doing something right, Jann Wenner. Oh oh, listen to the music.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTCyO9MpGUM

Remote Patrol

The Third Man

TCM 10 p.m.

I’ve only seen this 1949 film noir classic set in post-war Vienna once, but Rotten Tomatoes rates it as the second-best movie of all time. So that means it’s ahead of at least one of the Dumb and Dumber films. It stars Joseph Cotten, who is no relation to Cotton-Eyed Joe.