by John Walters
A Medium Happy 30th to Irina Shayk, whose beau, Bradley Cooper, turned 41 yesterday.
Starting Five
When the Levy breaks….
1. NetFlix and Kill
That skeptical look on reporter Angenette Levy’s face. She speaks for nearly all of us as we listen to district attorney Ken “Full of” Kratz or his investigator attempt to double-talk another incongruous leap of logic in the trial of Steven Avery. Is he innocent or guilty? I’m not sure: I just know that the po po never looked at anyone else.
Who else was possibly culpable?
- Ex-boyfriend Ryan Hillegas, and/or the roommate, and/or even her brother, who accessed her phone records and most likely deleted a message or two.
- Lt. Lenk and/or Sgt. Colborn and/or Sheriff Petersen
- Bobby Dassey and/or his mom’s boyfriend, Steve Tadych.
The Bro Bible just put out a ranking of the “10 Hottest People” in the show. Angenette is No. 1. If you have yet to engross yourself in Making a Murderer, the first pop culture phenomenon of 2016, what are you waiting for? It’s January, after all.
2. Under The Banner of Wacko
Bundy wants the federal government to keep its nose out of his business, but he will take that $530,00 loan, thank you.
If you read Jon Krakauer’s tremendous Under the Banner of Heaven, then you know that in some of the more sparsely populated areas of the American west, religious fanatics are only to happy to tell Uncle Sam to git out while also demanding welfare checks for all of the “single-parent” children they have. They’re mostly hypocrites and bigots, selfish separatists who, if they’re smart, keep their profile low.
But now Ammon Bundy has gone and did it. He’s made himself a cause celebrity in southeast Oregon, a place you’ve never been to, and the cause is telling the Bureau of Land Management that he makes decisions over property, not the government. However, he did happily accept a loan from that same govrernment for $530,000.
3. Bullets and Bawlers
One fingers is his trigger finger, and the other is reserved for Fox News
I didn’t get to watch President Obama’s reenact the penultimate scene from An American President yesterday, but now the auto emissions bill is definitely going to be tabled. And who from Fox News is going to look up the meaning of “erudite?”
Over at FOX, a hot female in a pink dress whose name won’t be worth remembering two months from now accused Obama of faking his tears. Yes, he’s probably trying to get elected..
4. Powerball Hits $500 Million
Like you, I chose the coordinates from To’hajiilee as my potential winning numbers.
5. I’m Totally Over Ronda Rousey
Hosting Saturday Night Live? Appearing in the SI Swimsuit Issue? Didn’t she lose??? That’s the problem with America: we don’t win any more.
Music 101
This Beat Goes On/Switchin’ To Glide
In 1980 The Kings, a band out of Vancouver, got themselves onto American Bandstand and alternative radio with this tempo-changer. They sounded a little bit like Squeeze or Split Enz to me. Hang around until the song changes its beat, until it switches to glide.
The thing about Rousey is that less than a month ago we were told how brave she was to let ESPN interview her despite her not being able to leave her house, etc. but since then she’s been seen around town, going to events, and now doing SNL. I thought her injuries required 6 months of rest and she had a possible concussion. Won’t the bright lights of a stage affect her?
Also, if I’m Holly Holm, I’m wondering why I still have to wait 6 months to fight her.
Hmm. Was this “Bro Bible” authored by Hosea and Lamentations? Or maybe it’s just an ancestral version of Clickbait.