by John Walters
Happy 54th birthday, Darryl Hannah!
Starting Five
1. Been There, Gun That
Another day, another mass murder in America: there have literally been more gun-related incidents involved four or more victims –not all fatalities– this year (355) than there have been days (336).
Fourteen people die at the Inland Regional Center in San Bernardino. That’s tied for the sixth-deadliest rampage killing on American soil (excluding 9/11) if you are keeping score, which unfortunately we are these days.
Consider that suspect Syed Farook and his thus far unnamed female accomplice killed twice as many people yesterday morning in one building as the Manson Family did in August of 1969.
And San Bernardino was not even the only mass shooting in America yesterday: One person was killed and three others were injured in an incident in Savannah, Ga.
2. Ryan’s Hope (or “Ryan’s A Dope”)
The above is a weapon of mass destruction, alas.
Appearing on CBS This Morning today, Speaker of the House Paul Ryan was asked pointedly about President Obama’s statement on Wednesday afternoon expressing frustration that the same people we put on “No Fly” lists are legally able to purchase a gun.
Ryan steered as clear from that statement as possible (I imagine Charlie Rose saying, “Obama said tomorrow will be Thursday. Would you comment on that?” Ryan: “Well, all I know is that yesterday was Tuesday and I think that’s what’s really important”), summoning mental illness and radical jihadism as the real dangers.
Ryan (my emphasis on words): “If we think someone is planning a terrorist attack, we should arrest them. But [with respect to automatic weapons] let’s not go infringing on the rights of citizens.”
You do see the irony there, right? What a complete and absolute tool.
3. The Great White — and Syrian, As Long as They’re Married, Female or Gay — North
Pamela Anderson: Canadian. Then again, this is no inducement if single heterosexual males are not welcome.
Meanwhile across the border up North, Canada has agreed to welcome 25,000 Syrian refugees, but Prime Minister Justin Trudeau explicitly stated that single heterosexual men would not be welcome.
I happen to love this. It’s as if Canada said, “Let’s be real. We know who causes the problems. And we don’t care if it’s politically incorrect to say so.”
Meanwhile, the Toronto Globe and Mail reports that only 6.3% of Syrian refugees contacted in Jordan and Lebanon expressed interest in relocating to Canada. This is the problem with a society that has had no previous exposure to Tim Horton’s and poutine.
4. He Really IS That Good
You are looking at the No. 1 overall pick in next June’s NBA draft, LSU’s 6’10” freshman, Ben Simmons. The Melbourne, Australia, native has already had a 43-point game for the Tigers and is leading the NCAA in rebounds at 15 per game. His 43-point performance versus North Florida last night was old school, Pete Maravich-style, without making a single three from beyond the arc (the Pistol never AVERAGED below 43 points per game in any of his three varsity seasons, without benefit of a 3-point arc or a shot clock, which is simply ridiculous).
Providence’s Kris Dunn already has two triple doubles this season, but I think Simmons may be wearing purple and gold next year after wearing purple and yellow this one.
Also, as long as I have your attention with hoops, Stephen Curry scored 28 points last night…in the third quarter. Curry totaled 40 with his pops, Dell, seated courtside in Charlotte as the Hornets/Raes retired dad’s number. Dell is also a radio analyst for the team.
Oh, and yes, Kobe had a good night, scoring 31 on 10 of 24 shooting. We wanted to be fair
5. The Richt Stuff
The Mark Richt Has Lost Control of His Waist Line Tour did not last very long, as the former Georgia head coach –whom every media person likes, and with good reason — was gobbled up by his alma mater, The U. Richt, who backed up Jim Kelly at Miami as the Hurricanes approached the precipice of paradigm shifting college football in the in the early ’80’s, returns to an area that is drowning in apathy but also in recruitable talent.
Can Richt transport Athens’ college football culture to south Florida? Can he even revive the moribund Canes’ culture? Will Luther Campbell be cool with this? And what ever became of Sebastian the Ibis? Stay tuned…
Music 101
Perfect Circle
Once upon a time (in the early ’90’s), back when MTV was still relevant and cared about music, there was a little show called Unplugged. And it WAS awesome. We could do a whole week on Unplugged performances, and perhaps we will. One of the best editions of Unplugged was the REM show in 1991 (I think most people will say that nothing tops the Nirvana performance, and I’d agree). Anyway, here is Michael Stipe & Co. performing “Perfect Circle”, but you can stick around for “Belong” at 9:03. A classic performance.
Related: Mike Mills is as dependable and talented a wing man as anyone in rock history.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdvDqoW07eI
Remote Patrol
Kentucky at UCLA
ESPN 9 p.m.
Bryce Alford, a senior, is UCLA’s leading scorer, but was taken off scholarship this year. Dad needed it for someone else.
No two schools have cut down more nets than the Bruins (11) and Wildcats (8). The difference is that only one of these two has a realistic chance of doing so this year. You may recall — or, if you’re a Bruin fan, be trying to forget– when these two met last December in Chicago, the Fighting Caliparis led 41-7 at the half. Will it be any closer tonight at Totally Pauley Pavilion? Kentucky is 7-0 and No. 1 in the nation; UCLA is 4-3.
Buck up, Bruins: You are hosting the NCAA Water Polo Championships this weekend, defending your national title. I don’t think that will be televised, though.
FYI – there is a MARKETING PLAN for Kobe’s “final season”. His own company has just filed for “trademarks”. But go ahead, keep thinking that Kobe will step away NOW…
I read your Newsweek piece & got a kick out of several things – “… throws up yet another BRICK in his retirement plan” (GREAT title), that the Black Mamba should have “slithered away before Nov 24” (loved this), the comparison to old/fat Elvis (for which at least one of your commenters was AGHAST & made me almost pee my pants), how he is a loner & does not exactly embrace & encourage his teammates (however, calling him the “Charles Lindbergh of hoops” was a bit of a reach…), & that we now “have arrived at the Kobe desert” – just classic jdubs. I do have a question – do you read the comments on your Newsweek pieces? I rarely see them as I print your articles & that doesn’t show much of the comment section but this time I saw 5 or 6. Do you laugh? Wince? Have your own drinking game where you down the beverage of your choice every time someone calls you a “miserable little insignificant journalist”? My fave (besides the guy horrified that you DARE compare the King -musical version, with KB) was the fellow who wrote “you sit there and RIGHT (emphasis mine) that shit”. Come on, do all you Newsweek guys have a weekly betting pool over who gets the most laughably vicious &/or grammatically & spelling ‘challenged’ comments?
Well, at least this commenter thinks you have the, er “right stuff”. And the ‘write stuff’ too. 😉
As for the CA mass shooting – I’m GLAD the perps are dead. And DO NOT CARE ‘WHY’ they did it, unless they are part of a terrorist group & we need to find the others. They are murderers, whatever the reason. I realize some will point out that France has much different gun laws than the USA & look what happened in Paris. So what. We NEED to make it TOUGHER for the lethally-inclined to actually act on their inclinations. Limiting access to automatic weapons & licensing of ALL guns is a START.
Update – they just found 12 pipe bombs & 2000 rounds of ammo in the murderers’ home so I guess we can rule out unpremeditated pique of workplace anger. Looks like we WILL have to spend thousands of human hours & MONEY to investigate (including if there is a connection to any of the known terrorist groups).
Did you watch the Star Trek reruns as a kid? Do you wonder if that Star Trekian future is EVER possible – where we had put an end to all wars on earth (& there was no poverty or any need for money at all)? It’s been how many thousands of years & we’re STILL on a killing spree. God & Gene Roddenberry must be so very disappointed by now.
The only thing I’ve learned, Susie B., is that aside from you and 1 or 2 others, nobody comments unless they are STONE-ASS PISSED at what you wrote (I don’t even know what “stone-ass” means, it just sounded good.
I write this column every day, and never got as many comments or views as when I took SI to task for its piss-poor Oklahoma State coverage and how it has deemphasized fact checking. Also, I wrote a column or two in the past week about Dave Sime and then Bono, and got ZERO comments on them in Newsweek. Write something negative about Kobe, then, and well, you saw what happened.
It’s just human nature. But it also makes you cynical about what it takes to be marketable in this biz. I need more incendiary takes!