STARTING FIVE

1. British Isle Be Seeing You

Wimbledon finished up on Sunday.

The British Open commences next week from the Royal Liverpool Golf Club, Merseyside, which reminds me of this wonderful Sixties pop tune by Gerry & the Pacemakers that I’d hear while sitting in the back of my family’s wood-paneled Chevrolet station wagon (the progenitor of the mini-van).

And over the weekend, while Eugenie Bouchard was taking all of three games from Petra Kvitova in the Women’s Singles final –much to the chagrin of ESPN, it seemed — and Novak Djokovic and Roger Federer battled through five sets and 59 games of the Gentlemen’s Singles final at Wimbledon, the Tour de France (not to be confused with Anita DeFrantz…not to be confused with Anita Bryant…not to be confused with Bryant Young…not to be confused with Young Frankenstein) invaded the UK.

Was it a successful invasion? Approximately 6 million Brits turned out in person to watch the Tour’s first three stages from northern-most Yorkshire, home to my favorite literary veterinarian, to Essex, and then finally in a stage that went from Cambridge to London. Six million spectators, or eight times as many as turn out to watch football in person in all four of England’s professional leagues each week.

In the Tour’s 111 years, the Grand Depart has taken place outside France 20 times, beginning in 1954 in Amsterdam (the Grand Depart next year will take place in Holland, too). As for England, this was the fourth such time it has hosted the race’s start, and the wildly successful response assures, as one official stated, that a return to England is a matter of “not if, but when.”

Now when will they do a stage inside the Chunnel?

2. Spencer for Hire

In the past year Fox Sports 1 has hired college football analysts Clay Travis (not me), Bruce Feldman (not me) and Stewart Mandel (also, not me). But last night it appears that they gave an on-air audition to Spencer Hall, whom all college football denizens know as the founder of “Every Day Should Be Saturday“, alias @EDSBS, alias TEDDY GOOALSEVELT, alias the funniest guy in the room.

And Hall, to his credit, knocked it out of the park. He’s a natural.

Now, if Fox Sports 1 is smart, they’ll offer the Florida alum and Atlanta-based Hall, who writes for SB Nation, a full-time gig.

And if ESPN is smarter, they’ll see that offer and raise it and make him a regular on the SEC Network.

By the way, The Nashville Tennessean did a profile of Clay last week, and it was fascinating. However, the printed transcript of the interview, which for some reason the paper put on-line, was even more so.

3. They Have Issues

This week’s cover of ESPN the mag features an infielder who is also an out Fielder.

While this week’s cover of Sports Illustrated also features an infielder, and there the similarities end…

By the way, it would be a failure of sports bloggery to not include at least one photo of an attractive female from ESPN’s Body Issue, no? The complete list of athletes.

 

4. PED-estrian

 

Francisco C

ervelli started at catcher last night for the New York Yankees –who won their fourth in five games, all on the road.

Nelson Cruz leads the Major Leagues in home runs with 28, and is headed to the All-Star Game.

David Ortiz is even more miffed about “free passes” than Dan Shaughnessy is about the World Cup.

And in 2007 A-Rod sought permission from MLB and was given an exemption to use PEDs (which, in extreme cases, they may grant), or so a new book alleges.

The nouveau blogger cool ‘tude on steroids is “I don’t care, let ’em do it.” But I do. And not because steroids may be harmful to the user or because they are cheapening the hallowed records. I care because it compels players to either cheat and survive or play by the rules and suffer. It’s the same reason you hate seeing people cut in the TSA line just because they’re late for a flight.

You know what? The next time you won’t be late for that flight. But if you know you can cut in line with impunity, you won’t get your act together. And the people who have their act together will suffer.

5. Crumb-ling

The cupcake bubble, hopefully, has burst. CRUMBS is announcing that it is closing every store. If you live on the Upper West Side, you can only rejoice. Bring back our pizzerias and all-night diners, please!

Meanwhile, New York women will need to find another comfort food to satisfy their craving for the city’s shortage of Mr. Big.

Remote Patrol

Brazil vs. Germany

ESPN 4 p.m.

Copa des Copas! The two sides who have been to the most World Cup final matches in the event’s history –seven apiece –vie for an eighth berth. Selecao will be without Neymar (and Silva), while German manager Joachim Low will be without conditioner. So, that’s a push.