STARTING FIVE

A Happy –Medium Happy?– Addend Day to you all: 7/7/14

1. Serbia, Switzerland and Spain

Roger Federer has won Wimbledon seven times, more than any other male, but years from now his two Wimbledon finals losses may be what tennis fans remember most. Yesterday, in front of William and Kate, the splendid Swiss lost in five sets to Novak Djokovic, who still has the hair of a six year-old boy, God bless him.

Djokovic, 27, led 5-2 in the fourth set and was up two sets to one, and even had a championship point, but Federer scratched back to force a fifth set. Which is when Twitter pro Cecil Hurt opined that this was “going to penalty kicks.”

In 2008, you may recall, Federer lost in five sets –and two rain delays — to Rafael Nadal of Spain.

The final tally: 6-7, 6-4, 7-6, 6-7, 6-4.

Djokovic, who had lost five of his six previous Grand Slam finals, now has eight to his name. While Federer, who turns 33 next month, remains “stuck” at 17. As Djokovic said to Federer after the match, “Thank you for letting me win today.”

2. Slow Your Roll

Last season a Cleveland Brown led the NFL in receiving yards. His name is Josh Gordon but since he plays for the Browns, he’s not quite an outside-your-Fantasy-League household name. Brown led the NFL with 1,636 pass-catch yards despite missing the first two games of the years due to a drug-related suspension.

Then, in May, he failed a second drug test, which could lead to a season-long suspension. And then, on Saturday morning, he was arrested in North Carolina for a DUI –while driving celebrated pick-up game puncher P.J. Hairston’s Escalade.

Gordon most likely won’t be suiting up for the Browns or anyone else this season. Terry Pluto of the Cleveland Plain Dealer advocates  “Rehab or Release” for him. Which is nothing like catch-and-release, even though Gordon is a pass catcher.

Meanwhile, a photo of Johnny Manziel rolling a $20 in Las Vegas surfaces.

Yeah, we’re all SUPER-excited for “Hard Knocks: Atlanta Falcons.”

3. Shark Sighting in Bay Area

Perhaps it’s time for Susan Casey to revisit The Devil’s Teeth –and this time without using her charm and good looks to get the researchers who helped her fired (if you’ve read the book…). Anyway, the new shark in town is Jeff Samardzija, who goes from pitching for a Cubs team that scored 2 or fewer runs in 11 of his 17 starts, to an A’s team that has by far the most potent offense in baseball.

Do you think Samardzija was not thrilled to be wearing green-and-gold on Sunday for the first time since the October 15, 2005 home game versus USC? Samardzija led the A’s to a 4-2 victory in his first American League start. As someone who grew up not far from Chicago, in Valparaiso, Ind., Shark will not have the chance to help lead the Cubbies to their first World Series championship since 1908. On the other hand, he may actually at least play in one now.

The A’s, by the way, completed a four-game sweep of the were-in-first Blue Jays, while the Cubs, who had won six in a row, have dropped both games since Shark and fellow starting pitcher Jason Hammel were traded to Oakland.

4. A Long Way From Fenway

The 2014 All-Star Game rosters were announced last night. Remember, in yet another of Bud Selig’s bumbleheaded ideas, every team must have at least one player on the All-Star roster (and there will be 68 rostered players in the All-Star Game, or at least 18 more than are worthy)

Anyway, your world champion Boston Red Sox have the required minimum of one player on the All-Star roster: Pitcher Jon Lester. At least Lester, who has a 2.73 ERA and a 1.15 WHIP (both in top eight in A.L.), is worthy. The Sawx, who were swept at Fenway last week by he Cubbies, are experiencing a severe World Series hangover. In fact, Dustin Pedroia is the only Sox hitting above .280 (.284).

No wonder Dan Shaughnessy has been such a salty bitch lately.

5. People Suck (Volume XLII)

Okay, obviously, the people laughing here are absolute assholes.

The other thing, and I’m sorry to The Big Lead and everyone else who felt the need to run the headline, “Shark Attack”, because this is not exactly true. A fisherman –fishing illegally off a pier in Manhattan Beach — hooks a Great White shark and fights it for quite some time. And the shark, fighting for its life, lashes out at an unfortunate swimmer nearby.

And so now people without much perspective, or sights just hustling for clicks, write “SHARK ATTACK” in the headline. It was a human attack. Great Whites and other sharks swim in the waters off Manhattan Beach all the time. Surfers have taken great video of it. And there hasn’t been a shark attack in quite some time.

I’m sorry to be so humorless on all this, but let’s grow up a little, CNN, TMZ (and The Big Lead). Animals don’t “attack” any more than you attack a hamburger –how do you think it got on your plate? The Beef Fairy? And most of the time sharks and crocodiles don’t “attack” people unless their turf is infringed. Here, an innocent creature was fighting for its life and in more pain than anyone reading this has probably ever known. If you still want to call it a shark attack, please allow me to drop a hook down your throat and pull for the next 45 minutes.

Otherwise, stop the stupidity.

Where in the World

Thursday answer: Salar de Uyuni, world’s largest salt flats, Bolivia

 

Reserves

Grantland’s Glen Andy Greenwald with 25 thoughts on the 25th anniversary of the “Seinfeld” pilot.

*****

Holly Brooks outlasts Christy Marvin by all of 2 seconds to win the annual Mount Marathon Race in Seward, Ala., The second-oldest continuous running race in the USA after only the Boston Marathon, Mount Marathon requires racers to clamber up a 3,022-foot mountain and then back down. Brooks, who won in 2012, defeated last year’s winner, Marvin, with a time of 52 minutes, 50 secs.

There’s also a men’s race, too. If you’re a runner or masochist –probably both–this needs to be on your bucket list.