Starting Five
Now, THIS is a solid starting five.
1. “Love, Exciting and New…”
It hit me last night as I was observing the precocious talent on display in the United Center, an arena that by the way is home to professional sports franchises: college basketball, at its upper-most echelon, is ‘The Love Boat’. Its cast is bolstered by a one-and-done set of stars who make the same journey as previous casts, with a spinal column of supporting cast members who are there to shepherd them on each pilgrimage.
Either Jay Bilas or Dick Vitale, but I believe the former, is your captain, Meryl Stubing.
Digger Phelps is Doc. Without a doubt.
Isaac is that hip funk-soul brother who can flash a smile but can probably score you something on the side if you really need it. Hello, Jalen Rose.
I’m going with Seth Davis as Gopher.
Julie, your Cruise Director? Samantha Steele Ponder (although I’m up for suggestions on this one).
“The Love Boat” was a wonderful addition to Americana. It taught an entire generation of Americans how to pronounce “Puerto Vallarta” and it kept the sparkly dress industry (there’s a sparkly dress industry?) solvent for at least half a decade. Besides, what else were the Landers Sisters supposed to do?
This is not an outtake still from “Boogie Nights.” I promise.
So, yes, Jabari Parker, Julius Randle and Andrew Wiggins (I’d draft them in inverse order of that, by the way) are spectacular talents. But they’ve set a course for adventure, a five-month cruise through Division I hoops. Which is fine. It’s just that they really don’t represent the schools whose names are on their jerseys as much as they represent the marriage of convenience between the NBA and the NCAA. Everyone is compromised by the charade, including the SportsCenter anchors who implore us to “enjoy them while we have them” as if these Pamper Princes are some doomed character in a Nicholas Sparks novel.
Ranking the ’70s Carols: O’Connor and Burnett finish in a dead heat.
College basketball is “The Love Boat.” But maybe another ’70s TV show theme’s lyrics are more apt:, “I’m so glad we had this time together/Just to have a laugh or sing a song/Seems we just get started and before you know it/Comes the time we have to say so long….”
2. Hurd Mentality
How many pairs of cowboy boots did McKnight wear out reporting this story?
An extensive, in-depth report by Michael McKnight for MMQB.com on the drug-related downfall of former Dallas Cowboy and Chicago Bear Sam Hurd. The tear quote is that Hurd smoked high-grade California marijuana “all day, every day” of his NFL career, and how nice of Dwayne Bowe to reinforce that stereotype on the same day that this piece was released.
Hurd already pleaded guilty and will be sentenced today to what may be life imprisonment. It’s the legal system’s version of the targeting penalty.
3. Kevin-Up
Love, after his game-winner at LA last year. The other night his tip-in that would have tied the Clips at Staples fell short.
The NBA’s top player, non-LeBron division, is named Kevin. But is it Kevin Durant of the Oklahoma City Thunder or Kevin Love of the Minnesota Timberwolves?
Durant: Leads the NBA in scoring (30.2 ppg) for a Thunder squad that is 5-1 and second in the Western Conference at this nascent stage of the season. Played one season at Texas.
Love: Second in the NBA in scoring (26.4 ppg) and first in rebounding (15.0) for a T-Wolves team that is 5-3. Played one season at UCLA. Also, don’t ask him a question unless it’s actually a question. You’ve been warned.
Durant: He looks fine to her.
Both are terrific ambassadors for the league. Both are 25; Love, born September 7, 1988, is 22 days older than Durant. Love plays in the nation’s 15th-largest television market, Durant in the 45th-largest.
Love used to play with Russell Westbrook with the Bruins; now Durant does.
The Thunder’s only defeat this season? At Minnesota, a 19-point loss. They next play on Sunday, December 1 in OKC.
4. “Ordinary” Circumstances
Charles Youvella, who stood 5-5, spent most of his final game covering a 6-6 wide receiver.
Charles Youvella, a five-foot-five, 115-pound football player at Hopi High School in Keams, Arizona, dies three days after collapsing following his team’s 60-6 first-round playoff loss. Youvella scored his school’s only touchdown during the game and there was no particular hit that appeared to trigger his collapse. Hopi High is located in Keams Canyon, Ariz., where 89% of the population is Native American.
Youvella, whom his coach described as “the toughest player I ever coached”, hit his head hard on the turf after being tackled following a reception. Two plays late he collapsed.
5. Faulty Towers…Measuring
1 World Trade vs. Willis. It’s really all about men and gym locker rooms.
I’m sorry. Not buying it. Just because a cadre of architects declare New York City’s Freedom Tower the tallest building in the United States does not mean you have to accept it. Or I.
The Freedom Tower, a.k.a. 1 World Trade, officially measures 1,776 feet (“U-S-A! U-S-A!”) because it has a 408-foot needle planted atop it.
Chicago’s Willis Tower: 1,451 feet
1 World Trade, minus needle: 1,368 feet tall.
Did Julius Erving suddenly become shorter when he ditched his ABA-era rainbow ‘fro in favor of a more 9-to-5 NBA ‘fro? Nope.
“What’chu talking ’bout Willis” Tower, Chicago
I’m sticking with the Willis Tower. Earth to roof, babe, that’s the deal. Either that or we all pitch in and buy a 326-foot tall needle to plant atop the Willis.
Remote Patrol
Ball State at No. 15 Northern Illinois
ESPN2 8 p.m.
Jordan Lynch. Coming to a name trail atop this blog some time soon.
The Cardinals’ (9-1) sole blemish was a seven-point defeat at North Texas in September. The Huskies have won 24 in a row at home and are seeking a second consecutive BCS bowl berth. Remember, they lost to Florida State in the Orange Bowl last January? You didn’t watch? Me, neither.