Starting Five
That’s Paul Robeson, who besides nailing this tune was a football All-American at Rutgers and class valedictorian. Paul Robeson: NOT a showboat.
1. “But Don’t Say Nuthin’/They Just Keep Rollin’/They Keep on Rollin’ Along…”
Ol’ Man Riverwalk/Dat Ol’ Man Riverwalk….
Best record in the NBA (breaking: apparently I meant the NBA’s Western Conferece… Gol, Susie B.!) ? San Antonio Spurs, 8-1.
In their last three games, the Spurs have held leads of at least 17 points…in the first half.
Nobody on San Antonio is averaging better than 18.1 points per game, which is to say that all but five NBA teams (four of whom stink; the other is Chicago) have a leading scorer averaging better than the Spurs’ leading scorer, Tony Parker.
This, KevinGar Nets, is how you age gracefully in the NBA.
2. “You Know What’s Better than $3 Billion….?”
This selfie will vanish in 15 seconds. Wait, it won’t? It won’t? Oh well, you’ll just have to live with it.
That is not a photo of Evan Spiegel (“Spiegel, 60609!”….”Thanks, Johnny”), the 23 year-old founder of SnapChat, who yesterday said, “Thanks, but no thanks” to an offer of $3 BILLION from Mark Zuckerberg and Facebook to purchase his company, an enterprise that is actually not a manufacturer, but rather a service, and whose principle function, as far as anyone can quite fathom, is to let users snap selfies or sext before Deadspin can post such self-incriminating items.
Not to mention that thus far SnapChat earns no revenue. To be clear, it’s not that it’s losing more money than it’s earning. It’s earning NOTHING. It’s MediumHappy.com with chicks in bikinis (okay, it’s MediumHappy.com with chicks in bikinis who disappear in seconds).
Granted, The Zuck didn’t just make that offer cuz he’s an idiot. He understands that teens, tweens and Brett Favre prefer anonymity. That’s why SnapChat is growing at a much faster rate than Facebook. It may just be the new, new thing. If it can only find a way to make money? Slate magazine wisely suggests saving all the photos and using them to blackmail clients as a way to earn revenue. Here, here!
So last week I gushed about a 23 year-old who’d earned $8 million by winning a poker game. This week I discuss a 23 year-old who just turned down nearly FOUR HUNDRED TIMES that amount.
Well done, Evan Spiegel, well done (Spiegel, by the way, dropped out of Stanford three classes shy of graduating and lives at home with his dad). Two thoughts, perhaps both true even though they appear to contradict: If you’re a company and you don’t have a precocious (and, yes, probably terribly annoying) 20 year-old in your top-tier meetings, you’re idiots, and second, Can you say, “Bubble?”
3. “Separate But Not Equal…Taxis?”
Even the color is different! Taxi segregation in our time.
You ever heard the Chris Rock riff about how every town has two malls, the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to? Well, New York City is like that. Cabbies will often simply not pick up minority fares because they don’t see the upside in driving to a part of town where they are unlikely to find a return fare…among other issues.
Enter Boro Taxis, which specifically do NOT pick up fares in the more demographically favorable (read: white) parts of the city. You literally cannot hail them below East 96th St. or West 110th St.
Get ready for “Borough Taxi Driver”, starring Tracy Morgan.
4. Rinny
Record-setter
That’s Mirinda “Rinny” Carfrae, 31, an Aussie who not only won the Hawaii Ironman last month (for breaking news, keep it here at MediumHappy.com!), but set a new course record for females at 8:52:14. Carfrae, who grew up on a lettuce farm, accidentally fell into the sport while training for hoops season in college.
And just so we present fair and balanced coverage, here’s an essay by a dude who can’t stand endurance athletes.
5. Ball Hawk
Korver has the three-point shooting prowess of two-and-a-half men
Today’s Creighton White Dude Hoopster Item belongs to former Bluejay Kyle Korver, who last night buried a three in the fourth quarter of his Atlanta Hawks’ loss to the Knicks. Korver has now made at least one three-pointer in 81 consecutive games. The NBA record belongs to Dana Barros, who did so in 89 straight games. It’s not exactly a DiMaggio-an feat, particularly in terms of hype, but we’ll keep an eye on it.
Reserves
NIU and Fresno State Are STILL Undefeated (Nooo!) What Does It All Mean?
NFL scouts would like to see Fresno State’s Derek Carr pitted against BCS-quality defensive talent.
The Huskies ‘sploded for 21 fourth-quarter points last night against The Fighting Whitlocks of Ball State, who were America’s last best hope to defeat them (although Toledo, where NIU travels next, looked strong in Tuesday night MACtion).
What does it all mean? It means that either Clemson or Auburn or Michigan State or Oregon is gonna get screwed.
If Fresno State (9-0 and currently No. 14 in the BCS rankings) and/or NIU (10-0, No. 15) remain undefeated, at least one of them is headed to a BCS bowl. If either team finishes in the top 12 (unlikely) or in the top 16 but AHEAD of a champion from an AQ conference, then that team receives an automatic BCS bid. UCF, currently leading the American Athletic Conference, is below both schools at No. 17.
If BOTH Fresno State and NIU satisfy either of those conditions, then the higher rated school between the two receives an automatic bid. Right now they’re neck and neck.
Either way, if you think about it, let’s ASSUME your BCS Championship is Alabama-Florida State.
That leaves four remaining BCS bowls, or eight schools (again, we’re assuming a lot here):
Baylor, Ohio State, Stanford, UCF and Fresno State: automatic bids.
That leaves three spots available. Clemson? Probably. A second SEC team? Sure. Auburn or Mizzou. Then who? Do you take an undeafeated NIU? Noooooooo. You might take a two-loss Wisconsin or a one-loss Baylor if Texas or Oklahoma State wrests the Big 12 title away from Art Briles.
We’ll see. Anyway, the point is that either Fresno State or NIU is almost certainly headed to a BCS bowl.
Great interview of a great interviewer, as SI’s Richard “e before I” Deitsch tackles Jay Glazer concerning his get with Richie Incognito. The interview appears on MMQB.com, or as I call it “TailWaggingTheDogThenEatingSaidDog.com”.
*****
Two days after Veterans Day, four U.S. Marines are killed in an accident at Camp Pendleton, just north of San Diego.
*****
So, JP Morgan (the bank, not the former “Gong Show” regular) decides to host a Q&A on Twitter, forgetting that most people who are on Twitter hate big banking with a white-hot loathing that borders somewhere around the way Jesse felt about Walter in the final three episodes. Pretty good questions, for example: “If it came out Jamie Dimon had a propensity for eating Irish children, would you fire him? What if he’s still “a good earner”?
Remote Patrol
Thunder at Warriors
TNT 10:30 p.m.
Two of the three most entertaining young squads in the West (we see you, T-Wolves) meet up tonight at the Oracle in Oracland. Kevin Durant, Stephen Curry, Russell Westbrook, Klay Thompson. Afterward Kenny and Sir Charles will stay up until four a.m. discussing how these teams would have to merge in order to dethrone the Spurs.
Unless they lost last night, the Pacers have the best record at 8-0.
Tracy Morgan: “You talkin to me? You talkin to me? Cuz I got you pregnant!”