Starting Five

1. Monumental Man

In the December issue of Esquire, Mr. Movie Star George Clooney invites writer Tom Junod over to his house and reinforces every suspicion you may have had about how funny, charming and insightful the 52 year-old might be. I can imagine Junod departing from this interview all hurgly-gurgly with excitement about all the terrific anecdotes and commentary he plumbed.

My favorites (you’ll just have to read the piece to understand the references):

1. Brad Pitt’s gift to Meryl Streep.

2. Addressing the U.N.

3. The Russell Crowe feud.

4. The Leo DiCaprio basketball game.

5. The Bill Murray story.

6. The Don Cheadle story.

7. The turkey bacon story.

8. Clark Gable.

Junod’s lede? “You must love him.”

Yes, it’s both a supposition and a mandate.

Junod, by the way, authored the best magazine profile I’ve ever come across, on none other than Fred Rogers (“Can You Say…Hero?”). I still possess it, as I keep all wonderfully written stories just in case anyone ever asks me to teach a college fifth-grade journalism course (“So when you get laid off, kids, remember not to turn in your lap top until they specifically demand it; and even then, tell them you lost it…”).

Finally, Esquire, why did you ever stop running the “Dubious Achievement Awards” in your December issue? I’ll come back and help you do it for free, which is pretty much the going price for freelancers, next year.

2. 60 Minutes: No Red Team Meeting?

Benghazi, meet Genoa.

Even the names possess  Sorkin-ian alliteration. Dylan Davies versus MacKenzie McHale. Lara Logan versus Leona Lansing.

So the most respected brand in television news, if not all of television, got Jerry Dantana’d by a mercenary/bounty hunter with an intriguing British/Kiwi accent. Why is this happening so often? Sports Illustrated and now “60 Minutes” are sorely in need of a Jim Harper, or at least a red team meeting (and you’re correct, Sloan, it’s nine reindeer). At least Lara Logan , whose experiences with the continent of Africa are far worse than Maggie’s, stood up and took the blame, even getting grilled by her own CBS colleagues. Norah O’Donnell, stand down, sister!

The good news? Reese Lansing has already said that nobody will be fired over this and that he’s now dating two Rockettes.

3. BMOC

He may not be the tallest man in college basketball –more on that later this week –but New Mexico State sophomore Sim Bhullar is likely, at seven-foot-five and 360 pounds, the largest. Last night the Aggie sophomore, who is of Indian heritage but was born and raised in Toronto, scored 15 points and grabbed 10 boards as NMSU defeated Hawaii in Honolulu, 95-88. And here’s why Bhullar, who was actually the MVP of the WAC tournament last season, will garner more attention this season. His little brother Tanveer, who stands just seven-foot-three, is an Aggie freshman.

4. Sneak Preview: “Out of the Furnace”

Christian Bale in a film about down-and-out brotherly love? And how’d that work out last time? Casey Affleck in anything? (Yes, please…I still contend he was just two scenes away from completely stealing “Good Will Hunting”). Woody Harrelson as a nefarious badass –he’s come so far from barback at Cheers. So, yes, I’m looking forward to “Out of the Furnace”, (opens Dec. 6)whose sole female is Zoe Saldana (FYI: Saldana is on Twitter but this is NOT her avatar…weird). It’s setting up as the autumnal complement to “The Place Beyond the Pines”, only a lot better.

Here’s an “exclusive” scene from the film…

The bad news? “Out of the Furnace” may not even be the best film Bale stars in next month, as “American Hustle”, which answers the question, “What if you put some of the stars from both ‘Silver Linings Playbook’ and ‘The Fighter’ in the same film?”, also opens. That’s not a coincidence, by the way. The director of all three is David O. Russell (the “O” stands for OSCAR!”)

5. Women’s Hoops? Yeah, Women’s Hoops (I’ll do anything to get a mention in “Media Circus”)

Women’s basketball wastes no time –but maybe it should have — setting up a potential Final Four showdown, as No. 1 Connecticut tops No. 3 Stanford 76-57 in Storrs. The game’s high scorer was the Cardinal’s Amber Orrange (that’s three colors!), while Bria Hartley scored 20 for the Doggies. My favorite aspect of the game was when an old friend and inveterate Huskies observer who was at the game tweeted that he hoped “WNBA scouts notice Bria Hartley.” Because, you know, UConn women’s basketball always flies under the radar relative to women’s hoops.

By the way, as a call back to No. 1, there’s a lot of Clooney in Geno. He’s got that CH-arisma.

Reserves

Gird yourself, America. There’s a white college basketball players who’s really, really good (and he does not play for Duke or Gonzaga; I know!). It’s not as if Creighton’s Doug McDermott was an unknown but in this, his senior year, the Bluejay forward is gonna ‘splode in the national media. The six-foot-seven McDermott, who plays for his dad (quick: last first-team All-American to play for his pops in college? Was it Pete Maravich?), scored 37 points in just 31 minutes of play last night in a win against UMKC. He is averaging 28.5 ppg after two games.

****

Evan Spencer of Ohio State goes all De’Anthony Thomas on Alabama and Florida State, declaring that the Buckeyes would “wipe the field” with them (yes, someone named Scooby Axson got the byline). Chances are we’ll never know –unless Auburn or Mizzou pulls off a major surprise. Meanwhile, Stewart Mandel (not Ivan Maisel, not Johnny Manziel) wonders aloud if the Seminoles are not the nation’s best team (I wondered this myself Saturday on ye olde Twitter). My one cent: Ohio State never recovered, in national perception, from not blowing out Buffalo on opening weekend, a team that time has demonstrated is actually very good…although it is curious that Baylor did “wipe the field” with Buffalo (70-13, I believe) and will have played more ranked opponents after this Saturday, but still is unlikely to jump the Fighting Urbans in the polls.

****

Finally caught “Clear History” last night on HBO. Prit-tee, prit-tee good, Larry David. And, wow, Kate Hudson has never looked better. Smashing. Michael Keaton was fantastic, too. Favorite moment? The sight gag as the swing set collapses in the background.

 

*****

An underground Iranian rock band feud results in the deaths of four men in the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn. Take that, gangsta rap.

 

Remote Patrol

College Hoops Doubleheader

No. 1 Kentucky vs. No. 2 Michigan State

No. 4 Duke vs. No. 5 Kansas

ESPN 7:30 p.m.

It’s the Final Four, almost, five months early. Only reigning national champion Louisville (Chane Behanan reinstated, by the way…shocker!), ranked No. 3, was not invited. This event is the crossroads of the McDonald’s All-American Game and the 2014 NBA Draft, as Pamper Princes Julius Randle (Kentucky), Jabari Parker (Duke) and Andrew Wiggins (Kansas) take the floor at the United Center in Chicago. Someone monitor Dickie V’s blood pressure.