Starting Five
1. “Beware the Ides of March.” Act I, Scene II from William Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar (The Romans, by the way, pronounced it “KAI-CZAR”, not unlike the way Verbil pronounced his shadowy boss in “The Usual Suspects”. Anyhoot, the year is 44 B.C. and a soothsayer warns Julius Caesar, the Roman emperor, to beware of this date.
“At least…at least…name a salad after me…and hold the anchovies.”
In the Roman calendar, March was the first month of the year (it was actually “Mars”, named for the Roman god of war; whereas in the USA we name our first month after Don Draper’s ex-wife. Same difference). But the Romans did not count their days of the month sequentially. To avoid further digression, they counted back from three fixed points of the month: the Nones (5th or 7th, depending on the length of the month), the Ides (13th or 15th), and the Santa Maria Kalends (1st of the following month).
So that’s an Ide.
2. Charlotte-ans (the referees, that is)
Abominable finish in the Atlantic 10 as Pierria Henry of the 49ers shoots 11 free throws (making eight) in the final five seconds to send Charlotte to a come-from-behind 68-63 victory. Charlotte benefited from the referees giving them three FTs twice on “shots” from near or beyond half court, a dead ball foul, and two technicals on its coach, Chris Mooney. The first foul was a solid call, but the dead ball foul under the basket on the Spiders’ Derrick Williams was at best a double foul on two players. At worst, it appeared that the 49er was baiting this call (he grabbed Willliams, who shoved him to the floor, by the head first to induce this incident).
The only thing left to add: As any fan of children’s literature wonders, how can a school named Charlotte not be the one whose mascot is the Spiders?
3. No Lime or Reason
We understand that Adidas understands that the worst type of publicity is no publicity, but Notre Dame’s glow-stick lime Zubaz-inspired unis were the Freekbass of sartorial statements. They were that horrid. Still, the Fighting Irish, who have never won the Big East tournament, were the lone school to elude the chalk of the third day of this year’s tourney. Georgetown, Syracuse and Louisville all advanced, but the Irish recovered from an early 17-4 deficit versus No. 11 Marquette to win, 73-65. Notre Dame actually led by four at halftime.
Sherbet they won
As far as Catholics vs. Comebacks went, Boston College was even more impressive. The Eagles began their ACC tourney contest versus Georgia Tech in a 15-0 hole, but won by 20. Like the Irish, they were up (by 5) at halftime after their anemic start.
Back to the Irish: in two games thus far Pat Connaughton (is it just me or does he look a little like Dayne Crist) is 12 of 18 from behind the arc (66.6%, of course….Hey, those are Devil numbers!) and one-for-two from inside it. So we know where he lives.
4. Carnival’s Grade? Sea-Minus
Carnival Cruise Lines, a.k.a. “Ships Ahoy Polloi”, (thank you, Judge Smails) is not about to make anyone forget the Spanish Armada. Or McHale’s Navy. If you’re keeping score, Carnival’s Triumph, Dream, Elation and now Legend have all experienced serious difficulties in the past month. The Legend, the latest ship to hit the fan, reportedly is having trouble with its cruise control system (isn’t that the speed a cruise ship should be going?). We picture the next Carnival mishap being that the vessel’s left-hand turn blinker won’t stop blinking.
Carnival’s skipper assures public that there’s nothing to worry about
5. NFL to abolish Tuck Rule, which in the future will prohibit Notre Dame’s top defensive end from leaving school one year early when the Irish have No. 1 USC on the schedule the following season and Reggie Bush will run all over that vacated position to allow the Trojans to escape South Bend with a 34-31 victory. Wait… that’s NOT the Tuck Rule?
This Just in: The Tuck Rule has always been a sham.
Seriously, we remember watching that Raiders-Patriots game as the play happened and we still cannot believe that rule exists(ed). It felt as if the referees had conjured it on the spot. Anyone who has ever played football in their backyard or at the park as a boy knows that’s a fumble. It was always a travesty. However, if you believe in karma, go back to my 12th birthday (Sept. 10, 1978) and you’ll see that the Raiders benefited from one of the all-time great fumble calls (at least in the regular season) in NFL history, the “Holy Roller” play.
Still. Kenny Stabler. Dave Casper. John Madden. Now THAT was the NFL. Listen to the announcer: “There’s nothing real in the world anymore!” Kind of the way most of us felt when the Tuck Rule was announced 23 years later.
Remote Patrol
Big Ten Tournament
No. 3 Indiana vs Illinois
ESPN, Noon
No. 6 Michigan vs No. 22 Wisconsin
ESPN, 2 p.m.
Don’t ask me why, but I like the Illini to pull off the upset in Chicago today versus the Oladipos. The Wolverines and Badgers played a wild one in Madison last month (Dan Dakich is likely still asking Bo Ryan how come he didn’t foul the shooter on the previous play) and this one will be tight as well. Is the B1G the best hoops conference in the country this season? Yeah. Tune in this afternoon and discover why.
B1G POY Trey Burke, who tops out at 6’0″
–JW