STARTING FIVE

And to think THIS of all weeks is when Mo Cheeks got canned.

1. Callipygian Sisters*

My cousin asserts that there’s a Seinfeld moment for every situation in life, and I have to agree with her. Take the release of the Sports Illustrated’s 50th Anniversary swimsuit issue cover today. How could you not instantly think of the “ASSMAN” episode?

And by the way, Kramer, the Chevy Impala fits you.

I have to be honest. I hadn’t thought of that word in years until I saw it in my colleague Alexander Nazaryan’s story this week. It applies perfectly here.

2. Rushmore

Most experts feel the wrong Roosevelt is carved into the side of Six Grandfathers (that’s the Lakota Sioux name for it).

So I saw a headline this morning asking, “Does Jeter belong on Yankees’ Mount Rushmore?” and I thought, Oh, no, here we go. Two weeks of Rushmore debates. This much I do know: “Rushmore” belongs on Wes Anderson’s Mount Rushmore of films.

As for Jeter, okay, I’ll take “de-bait”: You’re going to put four Yankee faces on the side of a mountain in the Adirondacks? Babe Ruth goes first. No. 9 all-time in batting average, No. 3 all-time in home runs, No. 2 in OBP,   No. 1 in slugging percentage and, as a pitcher, No. 17 in career ERA having appeared in 163 games.

Mariano Rivera is on. No. 1 all-time saves leader and No. 3 all-time in WHIP –the two men in front of him were born before 1882.

Now it gets hairy. Basically, three men for two spots: DiMaggio, Gehrig and Jeter. How do you leave any one of those three off? I’m going to add Lou Gehrig because of his lifetime .340 average, being No. 4 all-time in RBI, his 2,130-game streak and his 23 career grand slams (which should remain the record since A-Rod broke it).

Then it’s between Joltin’ Joe and Derek Jeter, who basically represented the same thing to different generations. Flip a coin. They’re both worthy.

3. Don’t Give Up/Cuz You Have Friends

Abbott won’t win a medal, but no one will forget what he did.

U.S. figure skater Jeremy Abbott fell–again. At the beginning of his program–again. But yesterday he got up and completed his program as the crowd cheered him on. This might have been the worst moment of his career but instead it turned into the defining moment. Because even though he is out of the medals, he didn’t quit. Did. Not. Quit.

As Entertainment Weekly wrote in its daily recap, it was like that moment in Tin Cup in which Roy gives away the U.S. Open while firing a 12 on the final hole. Well, not exactly like that, but you know what I mean. We’ll remember you, Jeremy Abbott.

Because most of us never win a medal. But we all fall down.

This moment gave us chills, and that’s the metric by which Olympic Games are truly measured.

Oh, yeah, and Yevgeny Plushenko, arguably the greatest men’s figure skater of all time, got a boo boo and had to drop out and retire. Did I bury the lede?

4. Wreck on the Highway

Car-nage.

Pennsylvania. Bucks County. The Pennsylvania Turnpike. A massive pile-up up of 50 to 100 vehicles this morning after a weather restriction for driving (45 mph) had been lifted two hours earlier. If you’re an All-State or Geico agent located in eastern Pa. this morning, you may want to phone in sick.

5. “It’s a Think Piece…”

Thespian virtuouso Philip Seymour Hoffman posthumously makes the cover of Rolling Stone. Rapper Drake, who was supposed to be on the cover, has a fit of hissy. Nice.

Reserves

I wrote this piece on the Marcus Smart situation earlier in the week and I regret omitting a major point that I had intended to make. Seven or so years ago, when a member of the media demeaned, at least in his eyes, an Oklahoma State football player, football coach Mike Gundy loudly and proudly came to that player’s defense. “Take on me! I’m a man! I’m forty!”

We all had some fun with that, but in Stillwater you can bet Gundy’s players appreciated that. And guess what? Gundy is still there and thriving. Travis Ford whiffed on a chance this week to come to his player’s defense. By not doing so he is either A) telling me that he does not believe Smart’s version of events or B) choosing to prioritize defusing a situation so that the least possible amount of bad publicity comes to the Big 12 instead of raising a valid question about what a 19 year-old black sophomore should have to deal with from fans. Me, I think Ford blew it.

***

The Hall

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner

1937:  Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P.

1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B

1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF

1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B

1941: Wee Willie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B

1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B

1943: Mickey Cochrane, C; Frankie Frisch, 2B

1944: Ed Walsh, P; Old Hoss Radbourn, P

1945: Lou Gehrig, 1B; Kid Nichols, P

1946: Ed Delahanty, LF; Lefty O’Doul

1947: Pud Galvin, P; John McGraw, INF

1948: Carl Hubbell, P; Addie Joss, P

1949: Harry Heilman, OF/1B; Monte Ward, P/SS

1950: Cool Papa Bell, CF; Jimmie Foxx, 1B

1951: Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown, P; Josh Gibson, C

1952: Paul Waner, RF; Charlie Gehringer, 2B

1953: Mel Ott, RF; Hank Greenberg, 1B

1954: Eddie Plank, P; Dan Brouthers, 1B

1955: “Wahoo” Sam Crawford, OF; John Clarkson, P

1956: Chief Bender, P; Bill Dickey, C

1957: Sam Rice, RF; Joe DiMaggio, CF

1958: Bill Terry, 1B; Heinie Manush, LF

1959: Dizzy Dean, P; Tim Keefe, P

1960:

Gabby Hartnett, C; 1922-1941, Chicago Cubs

The National League’s greatest catcher until Johnny Bench arrived, Hartnett led the Senior Circuit in percentage of runners caught stealing six times, including in 1935, when he was the NL MVP. He also hit .344 for that season. A lifetime .297 hitter, Hartnett was behind the plate for Babe Ruth’s “called shot” and Carl Hubbell’s six-strikeout All-Star Game start. He also hit the “Homer in the Gloamin'” as darkness descended on Wrigley Field in 1938, a home run that put the Cubs in first place.

Mickey Welch, P; 1880-1892, Troy Trojans, New York Giants

Who? The Brooklyn-born Welch, who stood just five-foot-eight, may be the least-renowned of the 300-game winners (307-210). In 1885 Welch, an off-speed technician, went 44-11 with a 1.66 ERA. His career ERA was a respectable 2.71

Remote Patrol

Sochi Olympics

NBC 8 p.m.

Carmen Schaefer, Swiss curler and amateur nudist

Men’s figure skating final; men’s super-combined final, which is not to be confused with two-man luge, though who could blame you?; women’s skeleton; and women’s freestyle skiing. Meredith Vieira occupies the Costas Memorial Chair this evening. Would it be such a crime to let Alex Flanagan or Mary Carillo…or Johnny Weir!…do it?

STARTING FIVE

Jeter may play “shortstop” but at 6-3 he is actually taller than Nash.

1. A Pirate Looks at Forty

Mother, mother ocean, after all these years I’ve found
My occupational hazard being my occupations
just not around.
I feel like I’ve drowned,
Gonna head uptown.

That’s Jimmy Buffett, of course. Two of my all-time favorite athletes turn 40 this year and both are staring out at the abyss. Yesterday Derek Jeter, whose on-field accomplishments and off-field behavior are unimpeachable –unless you’re a blogger, because who holds themselves to higher personal and career standards than sports bloggers do– announced he will retire at the end of the season. And Steve Nash, as this mesmerizing video from Grantland demonstrates, can also see the finish line.

Old age doesn’t kill people. Loneliness does. You can see it in Jeter’s and Nash’s faces even though –thank you, Deadspin, I got–they’re not actually dying.

2. Hey, Man, Nice Shot

I believe this photo was shot from Walnut Creek.

I hate LeBron James’ jump-shooting form. Mount Rushmore or no, he’s not a classic shooter. Scorer, maybe, but the better pure shooter on the court last night plays for Golden State. Yet, LeBron did bury the dagger three with Miami trailing by two to defeat Golden State. That’s a nice way to send your teammates off on a week-long vacation as you head to the All-Star Game.

The Pitt Falls of being a freshman.

And as for Tyler Ennis, whose 35-footer kept Syracuse undefeated (24-0) and handed Pitt its first home loss versus a Top 5 team since that venue had been built? Ennis, a freshman, just has “it.” If you were watching live, you were not betting against Ennis as he crossed midcourt.

3. Pinkos and Pinkeyes

Exclusive photo of Costas at the NBC cafeteria. Good to see the condition has not curbed his appetite.

(For you youths, Archie Bunker used to refer to Russians/Communists as “pinkos.”).

Leave it to The Daily Show to employ one illustration that is pithier than anything written about Bob Costas’ ocular odyssey, a condition that I will heretofore refer to as “Soch-eye.” Here’s what host Jon Stewart had to say about “Young Bob Costas.”

By the way, here’s Bob’s son on MLB Network. Is this a Tim-Luke Russert deal?

4. Unnecessary Roughness? Fatsis Vs. SI

Fatsis

Author Stefan Fatsis ripped SI a new one earlier this week (Well, good luck ever getting someone from SI on one of your podcasts from now on, Stefan) for its reporting on the Michael Sam story. Specifically, the “roundup” of NFL opinions on how the league would perceive Sam. People tend to forget that SI, like any publication or organization, is nothing more than an aggregate of humans. In this instance we had two SI writers, Thayer Evans and Pete Thamel, speaking with eight anonymous NFL personnel.

First: At the end of the day, you have two guys conversing with eight guys. That’s it. And none of these eight were Jerry Jones or Robert Kraft, you know? When you slap on the brand “Sports Illustrated” or “NFL”, we tend to give these opinions or this reporting more credit than they probably deserve. Also: Whatever NFL guy agreed to speak on condition of anonymity –and all of them did–is a coward. I’m invoking, and for now on referring to it as, the Sara Bareilles Rule: “Say what you want to say/And let the words fall out/Honestly, I want to see you be brave.”

If Michael Sam could be brave, why couldn’t these guys?

Second: Here’s what happened (probably). Jon Wertheim phones Sam’s people on Friday afternoon, informs them that SI is on to the story, but agrees not to jump the gun. In return he is told when Sam will make his announcement, so that SI.com will have something prepared. Did SI have a game-plan prior to this moment? Perhaps, but Austin Murphy is in Sochi and Peter King is looking forward to his first non-football weekend in about 30 weeks. So is this why two college-sports guys were conscripted to round up quotes? I don’t know. It’s not Pete or Evans’ fault. It’s just that I doubt everyone in the NFL is as Neanderthal as this. There’s more than one Chris Kluwe out there. There’s got to be.

Finally: there MUST be a few gay NFL players currently on rosters. There must be a few more gay sports media people (I know who some of you are but I won’t tell). Has there ever been a better time for all of you to come out and overwhelm us with this? No, there hasn’t. Don’t leave Michael Sam hanging, people.

5. Vanity Fare

One magazine’s annual reminder that movie stars have better lives than we do: Chiwetel Ejiofor, Julia Roberts, Idris Elba, George Clooney, Michael B. Jordan, Jared Leto, Lupita Nyong’o and a few others including Margot Robbie (white dress).

The Hall

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner

1937:  Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P.

1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B

1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF

1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B

1941: Wee Willie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B

1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B

1943: Mickey Cochrane, C; Frankie Frisch, 2B

1944: Ed Walsh, P; Old Hoss Radbourn, P

1945: Lou Gehrig, 1B; Kid Nichols, P

1946: Ed Delahanty, LF; Lefty O’Doul

1947: Pud Galvin, P; John McGraw, INF

1948: Carl Hubbell, P; Addie Joss, P

1949: Harry Heilman, OF/1B; Monte Ward, P/SS

1950: Cool Papa Bell, CF; Jimmie Foxx, 1B

1951: Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown, P; Josh Gibson, C

1952: Paul Waner, RF; Charlie Gehringer, 2B

1953: Mel Ott, RF; Hank Greenberg, 1B

1954: Eddie Plank, P; Dan Brouthers, 1B

1955: “Wahoo” Sam Crawford, OF; John Clarkson, P

1956: Chief Bender, P; Bill Dickey, C

1957: Sam Rice, RF; Joe DiMaggio, CF

1958: Bill Terry, 1B; Heinie Manush, LF

1959:

Jay Hanna Dean, P; 1930, 1932-1941, 1947, Cardinals

Dizzy Dean is the last National League pitcher to win 30 games in a season, but we include the ace of the Gashouse Gang as much for his legend as for his stats. Perhaps more so. Dean once bragged that he’d strike out Vince DiMaggio four times in one game. He fanned him three times and on DiMaggio’s fourth at-bat, when he hit a foul pop behind home plate, Dean screamed at his catcher to drop it. The backstop did and Dean went on to whiff ’em. He’s the guy who first said, “It ain’t braggin’ if you can back I up.”

Tim Keefe, P; 1880-1893, five teams

A career record of 342-225 with a WHIP of 1.123 certainly is worth noticing. Keefe, whose four uncles all died in the Civil War fighting for the Union, also had five 35-plus win seasons. It was another era: not until his final season was the mound moved back to its current distance of 60 feet, 6 inches.

 STARTING FIVE

Jeter will earn $12 million this season, making him potentially able to afford seats behind the Yankee dugout.

1. O Captain, My Captain!

New York Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter announces that there’s no way in hell he will ever share an infield again with Alex Rodriguez he will retire at the end of the 2014 season. Jeter will turn 40 in June and once dated Jessica Biel. I feel those two items are equally significant. “Once dated Jessica Biel” is more tombstone-worthy than “Yankees all-time hits leader.”

Jeter’s No. 2 will likely be retired at season’s end meaning that the Yankees, should they also retire manager Joe Torre’s No. 6 will be forever out of the single integer business.

Who does No. 2 work for?, as Austin Powers once asked. After next year, nobody.

2. You Say ‘Tomato’, I Say ‘Fourth Place’

White: “I’m snow bored with Sochi.”

American Shaun White, lead guitarist for Bad Things, fails in his bid to become the first Winter Olympian to win gold in the same event over three different Olympic Games. What does he care, he’s more concerned with booking a gig at Coachella this April. Perhaps White shouldn’t have attempted a “Double Pinkeye” near the end of his run.

3. Atlanta Bids for 2022 Winter Olympics

Trois Dufour-Lapointe. The judges will also accept “Lapointe’r Sisters” and “Canada’s Haim.”

Not really, but the Peachtree City, which did host the 1996 Summer Games, is bracing for its second winter storm of the past snow-fortnight. Besides, it’s far warmer in Sochi, where the mild climes are leading to spring fever, as apparently the Olympic Village has become a Tinder utopia.

4. Caviar Guest

Francois has had it up to here with the “I see Hollande, I see France…” jokes.

The White House hosted France (the entire country? Wow!) last night for a State Dinner whose guest list included fake Veep Julia Louis-Dreyfus and slightly less fake Veep Joe Biden. French president Francois Hollande attended sans femme, but there were no sour crepes. As for dessert, the White House did not let them eat cake, but instead a “Hawaiian Chocolate-Malted Ganache.”

5. Dale Hansen Rocks

Agreed: Dale Hansen looks like Ted Baxter just swallowed Brian Dennehy, but his Op-Ed is right on the mark.

This is Dale Hansen, sports anchor at Dallas’ ABC affiliate WFAA. Hansen took it upon himself to write and deliver an editorial that was as polished and insightful as any network anchor might produce. When the clip begins and you note Hansen’s age and that southern drawl, you wonder where this might be headed. That’s one more reason to watch.

The Hall

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner

1937:  Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P.

1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B

1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF

1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B

1941: Wee Willie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B

1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B

1943: Mickey Cochrane, C; Frankie Frisch, 2B

1944: Ed Walsh, P; Old Hoss Radbourn, P

1945: Lou Gehrig, 1B; Kid Nichols, P

1946: Ed Delahanty, LF; Lefty O’Doul

1947: Pud Galvin, P; John McGraw, INF

1948: Carl Hubbell, P; Addie Joss, P

1949: Harry Heilman, OF/1B; Monte Ward, P/SS

1950: Cool Papa Bell, CF; Jimmie Foxx, 1B

1951: Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown, P; Josh Gibson, C

1952: Paul Waner, RF; Charlie Gehringer, 2B

1953: Mel Ott, RF; Hank Greenberg, 1B

1954: Eddie Plank, P; Dan Brouthers, 1B

1955: “Wahoo” Sam Crawford, OF; John Clarkson, P

1956: Chief Bender, P; Bill Dickey, C

1957: Same Rice, RF; Joe DiMaggio, CF

1958:

Bill Terry, 1B; 1923-1936, Giants

The last National League player to bat .400 in a season (he hit .401 in 1930), “Memphis Bill” retired with a lifetime batting average of .341. Terry also collected 254 hits in 1930, which remains tied for the National League record.

Heinie Manush, LF; 1923-1939, Six teams, including Tigers and Senators

Smiling Heinie

Henry Emmett Manush hit .349 or better six times in his career, including in 1926 when he led the American League with a .378 average. Manush, whose lifetime average was .330, also had a 33-game hit streak in 1933 and also owns the record for fastest to 100 hits in one season: 60 games, in 1934. It also needs to be said that in the 1933 World Series Manush, after being called out at first base, was then ejected after pulling the umpire’s bow tie and allowing it to snap back. You must remember that the Three Stooges were quite popular at the time (“Why, I’ll murderlize ya’!”)

Remote Patrol

Sochi Olympics

NBC 8 p.m.

Torah Brite. She’s Australian.

“What About Bob?”, Day 2, as NBC’s anchor rancor continues. Matt Lauer fills in again, although I think we’d all like to see the Dufour-Lapointe sisters host. I don’t even know –or much care –what events will transpire. I just want NBC to show us a photo of Costas holding up today’s issue of the Sochi Daily Worker so that we know he’s still alive.

 STARTING FIVE

Armisen’s presence will not clash with Meyers’ style on Late Night.

1. The Return of Ian Rubbish

The first move of the Seth Meyers era at Late Night is a shrewd one: enlisting former SNL cohort Fred Armisen to be his band leader. Armisen may not be able to take Questlove in a cage match, but his benignly goofy demeanor should put Meyers at ease. Plus, he actually has guitar chops –he’s closer to Ian Rubbish than Garth (and Kat) in terms of talent. If you watched Meyers’ “Weekend Update” farewell closely, you’ll note that the last person to appear onscreen, rising up into the screen like Peter Benchley’s cartilaginous creature in the final frame, was Armisen as former New York governor David Paterson.

Amy Poehler will be Meyers’ first guest. You get the feeling that Studio 8G is going to become the SNL alumni club hangout, and what’s wrong with that?

2. Oh, J. Simpson

Simpson unwittingly pioneered the ‘penultimate lap kick’ strategy, to no avail.

American middle-distance runner Jenny Simpson lost track –literally. Last weekend at the New Balance Indoor Grand Prix track meet in Roxbury, Mass., Simpson, the 2011 world champion in the women’s 1,500, was running the women’s 2-mile, the final race of the meet, and in second place with two laps to go. She began sprinting furiously and overtook the leader, Sally Kipyego.

One problem: Simpson thought there was only one lap remaining.

” I came through the finish and saw the clock said 8:36,” said Simpson, cognizant that such a time would have been a world record –by 22 seconds, “and I think that image of the clock will be seared in my memory forever.”

Simpson stopped briefly after her false finishing kick, noticed that Kipyego was still running, and continued on. “I thought,  That’s way too fast,” said Simpson.

She finished second and, as you can see, was a good sport about it.

3. Has Rust Cohle Gone Too Far Undercover?

“This is all a dream I’m having in a locked room,” the suspect said.

If you Google “Beaumont and AK-47 and banana costume”, and why wouldn’t you, the above is the photo that you will find. The 18  year-old man was standing at a freeway intersection clad in the costume and brandishing the weapon and apparently — you may want to sit down for this — a few motorists became concerned and phoned the POE-lice.

Turns out it was a promotion for a gun shop. Oh, Texas. You’re Florida in a 10-gallon hat.

4. Save The Tiger

“Frosted Humans? They’re grrrrrrrrr-eat!”

A tiger in India has killed 10 people in the past six weeks. You know why? She’s hungry.

You remember what it feels like to be hungry? I mean, life-threateningly hungry? You probably don’t. I don’t. Anyway, I’m not happy that people are dying, but there are 1.2 billion people in India and about 3,200 tigers. So, me, I’m rooting that at worst the tiger is tranquilized and taken somewhere safer. But I know that I’m being unreasonably optimistic.

Read the story: I enjoyed the part where it said three of the six hunters failed to show up for work. I don’t blame them.

5. Deep-Sixers

Sixer rookie and team MVP Michael Carter-Williams. Check out the crowd.

Philadelphia plays it second game in as many nights in California and shows a bit of improvement, only falling by 43 at Golden State. The Deep-Sixers lost by 45 a night earlier versus the Clippers. If you’re looking at halftime scores, it was 69-30 on Sunday night and 66-33 last night. Only once befoe has a team lost consecutive games by 40-plus points, and that was also the Sixers, in 1994.

The Sixers have been bad all season, but not this awful. What’s happening? Are they tanking? Or are they just too young and not talented enough? As I’ve touted all year, the NBA needs to contract by about four teams. Lavoy Allen played 25 minutes for Philly last night. Do you know who Lavoy Allen is? I don’t.

Reserves

How great would it be if this was shot in Bobby Petrino’s house?

Kudos to The Football Scoop for noting the subliminal work taking place in this Kentucky promotional video. A blonde in a Wildcat jersey and Jay-Z? And yet no Ashley Judd.

*****

Here’s why I ADORE Mary Carillo: she travels to Siberia and is physically unable to resist a reindeer games riff. You can see just how much the sub-zero temps are impairing her ability to be witty, but she still does a worthy job. And here she is guzzling potato juice with Bob Costas: “Is this the Hoda and Kathy Lee portion of the show?”

***

Press Rowe.

After Kansas State defeated Kansas for like the first time in seven tries in Manhattan last night –but only after blowing a nine-point lead in the final two minutes and needing to win in overtime –the fans stormed the court. The Wildcat players stood atop the press table, where sideline reporter Holly Rowe decided to join them to grab a post-game interview. It was a nice maneuver by Rowe, and it’s nice to see a woman can work atop a table late at night without doffing clothes, but judging by the reaction on Twitter from ESPN employees, you’d have thought Rowe just outdid Sandra Bullock’s return flight from “Gravity.” Thus concludes the Phil Mushnick portion of today’s blog.

Mancuso

American alpine skier Julia Mancuso wins bronze in the super combined, making her the most decorated U.S. female alpine skier of all time with four medals. In other news, Johnny Weir showed up for work again today, making him the most over-decorated male figure skating analyst of all time.

The Hall

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner

1937:  Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P.

1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B

1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF

1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B

1941: Wee Willie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B

1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B

1943: Mickey Cochrane, C; Frankie Frisch, 2B

1944: Ed Walsh, P; Old Hoss Radbourn, P

1945: Lou Gehrig, 1B; Kid Nichols, P

1946: Ed Delahanty, LF; Lefty O’Doul

1947: Pud Galvin, P; John McGraw, INF

1948: Carl Hubbell, P; Addie Joss, P

1949: Harry Heilman, OF/1B; Monte Ward, P/SS

1950: Cool Papa Bell, CF; Jimmie Foxx, 1B

1951: Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown, P; Josh Gibson, C

1952: Paul Waner, RF; Charlie Gehringer, 2B

1953: Mel Ott, RF; Hank Greenberg, 1B

1954: Eddie Plank, P; Dan Brouthers, 1B

1955: “Wahoo” Sam Crawford, OF; John Clarkson, P

1956: Chief Bender, P; Bill Dickey, C

1957:

Sam Rice, RF; 1915-1934, Senators (and one year with Cleveland)

The ultimate contact hitter, Rice whiffed just nine times in 616 at-bats in 1929.

No one has more hits without attaining the 3,000 plateau than Rice, who finished with 2,987 before 3,000 was such a magic number. He retired with 184 triples (14th all time) and 498 triples (60th) and a lifetime .322 average. Rice’s backstory begs a major motion picture.

Growing up along the rural Indiana-Illinois border, Rice was a young married man when he traveled to Galesburg, Ill., in April of 1912 for a baseball tryout. On that day a tornado swept through his town of Morocco, Ind., killing Rice’s wife, his two children, his mother and his two sisters. Rice’s dad survived a week before also succumbing to his injuries. Rice spent the next year wandering aimlessly, taking odd jobs and grieving, then a year in the Navy, before finally catching on with a Major League team.

Rice married twice more, the second time at age 69. When he was 75 he was interviewed for a program to honor his career and he shared the story about the tornado. That was the first time his wife and her two children had ever heard the story. What did Marty Hart say about his dad’s generation?

Joe DiMaggio, CF; 1936-1951, Yankees

If you eliminated 90% of the players currently in Cooperstown, Joltin’ Joe would still make the cut. A 13-time All-Star, a nine-time World Series champion and a three-time American League MVP whose 56-game hitting streak is baseball’s most enduring individual feat. Also, a lifetime .325 hitter.

Remote Patrol

Oklahoma State at No. 19 Texas

ESPNU 7 p.m.

Tonight is a defining moment for the Cowboy coach.

Will the Cowboys rally in the absence of Marcus Smart, or has coach Travis Ford lost this team? The Longhorns in Austin may not be the crucible Oklahoma State was looking for in the wake of Saturday night’s debacle in Lubbock.

STARTING FIVE

Is it too late for Sam to head to Sochi as U.S. ambassador to the Olympic games?

1. I Am Sam

Missouri defensive end Michael Sam, the SEC Defensive Player of the Year, announces that he is gay. Sam is a senior, meaning that while he did not come out early for the NFL draft a year ago, he is coming out of the closet ahead of the NFL draft this year. He would be the first active openly gay NFL player, unless that kicker from Willamette University is drafted ahead of him.

Nearly as impressive as Sam’s courage is the discretion of his Mizzou teammates: he told all of them last August and it remained a secret until now.

2. “A Piece of Crap”

This is what a piece of crap looks like.

Is that what Jeff Orr said to Marcus Smart to set him off so on Saturday night? Hmm. Never call a player the title of a Neil Young song. The Oklahoma State guard will be suspended for three games for having shoved Texas Tech fan Orr, which is a piece of crap punishment.

Yes, a player should never put his hands on a fan.

However, if Smart had not reacted, the public would never have known what a piece of crap Orr is. So I salute Smart for his action and for lifting the veil of anonymity off a 50-year old man who would behave that way. Did Smart punch him or hurt him badly? No. Was it a spur-of-the-moment reaction? Yes. And did it ultimately serve a greater purpose, which I admit was never Smart’s intent? Yes. Yes, it did. It let every jerk-face middle-aged fan in America know that in the age of social media you may do as much damage to yourself by behaving like an ass as you’d hoped to do to the player.

I’m a little a lot disappointed in Travis Ford. The Okie State presser appeared to send a zero tolerance message out about what Smart did, even to the point of Smart’s own statement. First, if Orr said anything racially motivated and everyone is agreeing to keep that hush-hush, that would be beyond sad. But second, even if those are the words he actually said, I wish Ford would have stood up for his player and asked publicly why Orr said what he said. And, as a man in his fifties, did he look in the mirror and wonder how his priorities got so skewed?  Ford whiffed on a valuable moment to alter the paradigm –and to come to his best player’s defense, and not because Smart means so much to the program but because, truly, Smart was not the villain here.

I wonder if Travis Ford did not lose his team forever this weekend.

Smart will return to action on Feb. 22 for Oklahoma State’s home game versus….Texas Tech.

3. Deep Sixers

It was a lot of this for 48 minutes.

Midway through the third quarter of the Philadelphia 76ers-Los Angeles Clippers contest last night at Staples Center, the score was 89-33 in favor of the Clips. Ouch. The Clips, with Chris Paul back in the lineup, opened the game on a 13-0 run and led 46-15 after one quarter. They went on a 16-0 run in the third quarter.

The final score: 123-78, which isn’t even the worst loss in Sixer history. The 9-73 Sixers of 1972-73 lost by 48 to the New York Knicks, who won the NBA Finals that season.

The Sixers shot 3 of 27 from beyond the arc. They did, however, shoot 21 of 25 (84%) from the free throw line. Accentuate the positive.

4. True Detective Becomes The Wire

We’re halfway through the series and Cohle is out of Lone Star. We need to make another run. And he’d appreciate a hustle-up on that.

Episode 4 of True Detective was all about Rust Cohle going narco in order to discover the whereabouts of Reginald Ladoux. Meanwhile, he’s also reluctantly playing the role of marriage counselor, although as he reminds Marty and Maggie more than once, “This is none of my (bleepin’) business.” The best moment? When Hart, frustrated that he cannot gain any sympathy traction with his partner, finally says, “You’re the Michael Jordan of being a sonofabitch.”

Oh, and I’m fairly certain that was series creator Nic Pizzolatto tending bar at the strip club.

By the way, notice the tracking shot of Rust in the episode’s finale. How the camera never leaves him from the drug den all through the neighborhood until he gets into the getaway car driven by Marty. All shot at night. In a rough neighborhood. Appreciate how difficult that was to film, how choreographed it needed to be, and how just one wrong move cancels the shot. This is television that keeps going above and beyond.

Per usual, True Detective blends painfully honest moments –Rust discussing the illusion of long-term monogamy with Maggie –with subtle humor. As Rust leaves the evidence room having pilfered some cocaine, he says, “They really need to work on this system.”

Meanwhile on The Walking Dead, which had its post-hiatus premiere last night, we got a lot of Carl doing the “I’m old enough to drive the car” schtick. I’m growing a little tired of humans on this show stumbling and then trying to skooch off on their butts from imminent zombiefication. Oh, and how come we always see them foraging for food and water but not for toilet paper? How bad must these people smell by now?

5. Let’s Review Rule No. 1

Look out Bellows.

Yes, “Gravity Always Wins.”

Amber Bellows, 28, died in a Base-jumping accident at Utah’s Zion National Park this weekend when her chute failed to deploy. Bellows and her husband, Clayton Butler, were doing the jump as part of a honeymoon trip. They were married two weeks ago.

James Franco will star as Bellows in the film, which will be titled “Nine Seconds.”

Reserves

Russian speed skater Olga Graf goes Slippery Slope Style on her suit…I was unable to find the full program of Russian 15 year-old Julia Lipnitskaia’s free skate on NBCOlympics.com, which is a shame because it was spectacular. Here’s a snippet.

The Hall

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner

1937:  Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P.

1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B

1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF

1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B

1941: Wee Willie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B

1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B

1943: Mickey Cochrane, C; Frankie Frisch, 2B

1944: Ed Walsh, P; Old Hoss Radbourn, P

1945: Lou Gehrig, 1B; Kid Nichols, P

1946: Ed Delahanty, LF; Lefty O’Doul

1947: Pud Galvin, P; John McGraw, INF

1948: Carl Hubbell, P; Addie Joss, P

1949: Harry Heilman, OF/1B; Monte Ward, P/SS

1950: Cool Papa Bell, CF; Jimmie Foxx, 1B

1951: Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown, P; Josh Gibson, C

1952: Paul Waner, RF; Charlie Gehringer, 2B

1953: Mel Ott, RF; Hank Greenberg, 1B

1954: Eddie Plank, P; Dan Brouthers, 1B

1955: “Wahoo” Sam Crawford, OF; John Clarkson, P

1956:

Charles “Chief” Bender, P; 1903-1917, 1925, Athletics, 2 others

Bender was a member of the Ojibwa tribe.

Bender’s 212-127 record is not as spectacular as his lifetime ERA of 2.46 and WHIP of 1.113. His numbers were even better in the World Series, where he had nine complete games in his 10 starts, including three in the 1911 World Series, where his ERA was 1.04. Highly adept at stealing signs, Bender would often coach third base on days he did not pitch.

Bill Dickey, C; 1928-1943, 1946, Yankees

One of the greatest hitting catchers who ever played, Dickey batted .313 over the course of his career for a Yankee team that would win eight World Series. He was also an 11-time All-Star and finished with 1,209 RBI. Dickey was the backstop on teams that included some of the greatest players of all time (Ruth, Gehrig, DiMaggio) and only Mickey Cochrane hit for a higher average (until Joe Mauer came along) amongst catchers.

Remote Patrol

Winter Olympics

NBC 8 p.m.

“He’s got Shani Davis Eye.” No? Doesn’t work for you?

Women’s luge, women’s ice hockey (USA vs. Switzerland), and America’s sweetheart-in-waiting, Mikaela Shiffrin, in the women’s super-combined downhill. Do yourself a favor and type in “nbcolympics.com” to the url as it livestreams events all day long.