STARTING FIVE
Jeter will earn $12 million this season, making him potentially able to afford seats behind the Yankee dugout.
1. O Captain, My Captain!
New York Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter announces that there’s no way in hell he will ever share an infield again with Alex Rodriguez he will retire at the end of the 2014 season. Jeter will turn 40 in June and once dated Jessica Biel. I feel those two items are equally significant. “Once dated Jessica Biel” is more tombstone-worthy than “Yankees all-time hits leader.”
Jeter’s No. 2 will likely be retired at season’s end meaning that the Yankees, should they also retire manager Joe Torre’s No. 6 will be forever out of the single integer business.
Who does No. 2 work for?, as Austin Powers once asked. After next year, nobody.
2. You Say ‘Tomato’, I Say ‘Fourth Place’
White: “I’m snow bored with Sochi.”
American Shaun White, lead guitarist for Bad Things, fails in his bid to become the first Winter Olympian to win gold in the same event over three different Olympic Games. What does he care, he’s more concerned with booking a gig at Coachella this April. Perhaps White shouldn’t have attempted a “Double Pinkeye” near the end of his run.
3. Atlanta Bids for 2022 Winter Olympics
Trois Dufour-Lapointe. The judges will also accept “Lapointe’r Sisters” and “Canada’s Haim.”
Not really, but the Peachtree City, which did host the 1996 Summer Games, is bracing for its second winter storm of the past snow-fortnight. Besides, it’s far warmer in Sochi, where the mild climes are leading to spring fever, as apparently the Olympic Village has become a Tinder utopia.
4. Caviar Guest
Francois has had it up to here with the “I see Hollande, I see France…” jokes.
The White House hosted France (the entire country? Wow!) last night for a State Dinner whose guest list included fake Veep Julia Louis-Dreyfus and slightly less fake Veep Joe Biden. French president Francois Hollande attended sans femme, but there were no sour crepes. As for dessert, the White House did not let them eat cake, but instead a “Hawaiian Chocolate-Malted Ganache.”
5. Dale Hansen Rocks
Agreed: Dale Hansen looks like Ted Baxter just swallowed Brian Dennehy, but his Op-Ed is right on the mark.
This is Dale Hansen, sports anchor at Dallas’ ABC affiliate WFAA. Hansen took it upon himself to write and deliver an editorial that was as polished and insightful as any network anchor might produce. When the clip begins and you note Hansen’s age and that southern drawl, you wonder where this might be headed. That’s one more reason to watch.
The Hall
Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner
1937: Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P.
1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B
1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF
1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B
1941: Wee Willie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B
1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B
1943: Mickey Cochrane, C; Frankie Frisch, 2B
1944: Ed Walsh, P; Old Hoss Radbourn, P
1945: Lou Gehrig, 1B; Kid Nichols, P
1946: Ed Delahanty, LF; Lefty O’Doul
1947: Pud Galvin, P; John McGraw, INF
1948: Carl Hubbell, P; Addie Joss, P
1949: Harry Heilman, OF/1B; Monte Ward, P/SS
1950: Cool Papa Bell, CF; Jimmie Foxx, 1B
1951: Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown, P; Josh Gibson, C
1952: Paul Waner, RF; Charlie Gehringer, 2B
1953: Mel Ott, RF; Hank Greenberg, 1B
1954: Eddie Plank, P; Dan Brouthers, 1B
1955: “Wahoo” Sam Crawford, OF; John Clarkson, P
1956: Chief Bender, P; Bill Dickey, C
1957: Same Rice, RF; Joe DiMaggio, CF
1958:
Bill Terry, 1B; 1923-1936, Giants
The last National League player to bat .400 in a season (he hit .401 in 1930), “Memphis Bill” retired with a lifetime batting average of .341. Terry also collected 254 hits in 1930, which remains tied for the National League record.
Heinie Manush, LF; 1923-1939, Six teams, including Tigers and Senators
Smiling Heinie
Henry Emmett Manush hit .349 or better six times in his career, including in 1926 when he led the American League with a .378 average. Manush, whose lifetime average was .330, also had a 33-game hit streak in 1933 and also owns the record for fastest to 100 hits in one season: 60 games, in 1934. It also needs to be said that in the 1933 World Series Manush, after being called out at first base, was then ejected after pulling the umpire’s bow tie and allowing it to snap back. You must remember that the Three Stooges were quite popular at the time (“Why, I’ll murderlize ya’!”)
Remote Patrol
Sochi Olympics
NBC 8 p.m.
Torah Brite. She’s Australian.
“What About Bob?”, Day 2, as NBC’s anchor rancor continues. Matt Lauer fills in again, although I think we’d all like to see the Dufour-Lapointe sisters host. I don’t even know –or much care –what events will transpire. I just want NBC to show us a photo of Costas holding up today’s issue of the Sochi Daily Worker so that we know he’s still alive.