STARTING FIVE

Pete Carroll and John Fox guarantee that white-haired men will get their moment in SB XLVIII. Maybe John Slattery does the coin toss?

1. Sure, Man

Ironically, considering the long-festering enmity between coaches Jim Harbaugh and Pete Carroll, it was a Stanford grad (Richard Sherman) who tipped a pass to a USC alum (Malcolm Smith) for the game-winning interception in the NFC Championship Game. For all of Sherman’s finely-orchestrated bluster –he is a summa cum laude graduate of the Dennis Rodman Deion Sanders Academy of Self-Aggrandizement–he’s right: Why challenge one of the best cornerbacks in the game when you still had 30 seconds and two timeouts remaining?

Seattle’s game-winning TD? A fourth-and-seven from the 35 in which Carroll sent trips right deep. Bravo, sir. Bravo. This is a man who once got fired and replaced by Rich Kotite. And now he’s returning to that same area, if not exact venue, in an attempt to become the first coach to win both a national championship AND a Super Bowl without having done so with the Dallas Cowboys.

2. M.M. Good

“I’ll take a sixer of Lone Star, Old Milwaukee. Nothin’ snooty.”

Another winter weekend, another award for Matthew McConaughey. But where he is TRULY killing it is on HBO’s “True Detective”, where as Rust Cohle he spends half the show looking like a young Tom Verducci and the other half looking and behaving like Nicholas Cage in “Leaving Las Vegas”: “Because it’s Thursday and Thursday’s one of my days off. And on my off days, I start drinking at noon. You don’t get to interrupt that….Appreciate a little hustle-up on that.”

This week’s best line, when asked if his mother is still alive: “Maybe.”

By the way, they don’t give awards for one-scene-only acting, but the dude who played the prisoner in the premiere episode eight days ago (“Like she could duck hunt with a rake”) was spot-on perfect.

We are two episodes in, and right now my favorite guess for who the serial killer may be is the ex-LSU pitcher who appears to have ALS, Danny Fontenot.

3. Drake Aims For Timberlake

The Canadian hip-hop artist pulled Timberlake  (and Swift) double-duty on SNL the other night, both hosting and serving as musical guest. Rare is the host who both appears and carries the cold open, but Drake did, portraying Alex Rodriguez (1:50) and blaming Jackie Robinson “for breaking into the Major Leagues, which really led to this whole situation in the first place.”

Drake also reminded everyone that he is both a person of color and Jewish, performing a barmitzvah rap that included the lyric ““Please don’t forget I’m black, please don’t forget I’m Jewish/I play ball like LeBron and I know what a W-2 is.”)

4. MLK Thought

So, yes, the two most prominent African-American roles in what could be this year’s Best Picture were not played by African-Americans.

Just a thought, not so much about Dr. King but about this year’s Oscars and people of color. There are three nominees for acting Oscars who are of African descent, but none of them are African-American: Chiwetel Ejiofor, who is English, for Best Actor, “12 Years A Slave”; Barkhad Abdi, who is Somalian, for Best Supporting Actor, “Captain Phillips”; and Lupita Nyong’o, who is Kenyan, for Best Supporting Actress, “12 Years a Slave.”

Kevin Hart, your nomination for “Ride Along” can’t get here soon enough.

5. An Army of One

Onoda was known to prefer Springsteen’s “No Retreat, No Surrender” to Corey Hart’s “Never Surrender.”

By now you’ve probably heard that Hiroo Onoda, the Japanese soldier who remained hidden in the Phillippines after World War II until 1974, died this weekend at the age of 91. Louis Zamperini is still alive. Just sayin’… You know this will be turned into a movie as soon as Hollywood can figure out how to turn Mark Wahlberg into a waif-thin Japanese soldier.

Reserves

A Medium Happy exclusive: un-retouched Lena Dunham photo.

*****

Seth Meyers with a perfectly worded Bridge Gate joke: “Don’t cross this guy (photo of Chris Christie) if you want to cross this guy (photo of GWB).”

*****

Flori-Duh

Is there no barrier with you people? Really?

The Hall

I’m tempted to vote in Ol’ Hoss Radbourn because this man is a first ballot Hall of Name inductee. But he’ll have to wait.

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner

1937 (yes, we realized our error): Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P.

1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B

1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF

1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B

1941:

Keelrr: That material doesn’t look like it breathes.

Willie Keeler, RF; 1892-19010, 6 teams, including New York Highlanders

The man who first said, “Hit ’em where they ain’t” had a lifetime batting average of .341 (14th-best all-time) and once had 239 hits in a season. Stood only five-foot-five, maybe shorter.

George Sisler, 1B, 1915-1930, Browns, Braves Senators

A lifetime .340 hitter, in 1922 he hit .420 and led the American League in hits (246), stolen bases (51) and triples (18) while also compiling a then-record 41-game hit streak. His 257 hits in 1920 were a Major League record until Ichiro Suzuki broke it (with eight more games on schedule).

The Bank

Balance: $795

Last: Took Boston minus-6.5 versus Lakers; LA wins it only game in the past 13

Record: 5-7

Tonight: Ryan Kelly has 37 points in his past two games, both Laker wins. They’re getting 9.5 in Chicago. Let’s hop on board the Laker train for $40.

Remote Patrol

Pacers at Warriors

TNT 10:30 p.m.

Stephen Curry is actually No. 1 in the NBA in assists, which has something to do with Andrew Bogut being No. 1 in FG %.

The league’s best team, by record, versus the league’s best-shooting back court tandem. First squad to 124 points wins.

STARTING FIVE

It’s called The Circle, so why are all of its employees squares?

1. Circle Jerks

You want to read a terrifying book? Read “The Circle” by Dave Eggers. It’s about a Google/Facebook-like company where “1984” is happening all over again, except that, now that it’s 2014, just about every scenario Eggers provides is plausible. Every step toward knowing more that trades in humanity for the supposed benefit of total transparency is a step in this direction. Today, I submit to you baseball’s decision to have total reply in 2014.

Read this book. It comes highly recommended, from the Medium Happy Biblio-files.

2. Show Me The Koufax

Koufax currently is four no-hitters ahead of Kershaw.

Yesterday for Newsweek I compared the three best consecutive seasons that Clayton Kershaw has had to the three best consecutive seasons Sandy Koufax ever had. It’ll be pretty obvious who won that battle. Kershaw just became the highest-paid player ($30 million-plus per for seven years). Koufax never earned more than $125,000, which he took home in 1966. Extrapolated to 2014 dollars, that’s still only about $900,000 per season.

3. Durant Durant

OKC gets the win and Durant ups his scoring average to a neat 30.0

The Houston Rockets scored 73 first-half points last night against the Oklahoma City Thunder. They score 19 in the second half. That’s almost as bad as one-fourth. Kevin Durant scored 36 AND guarded James Harden down the stench stretch. The Rockets put up a season-high 73 in the first half, with a dozen threes; in the second they tied the NBA record for fewest points in a half while not connecting on a single three. Nice coaching, there, Scott Brooks.

4. Comedians. Cars. Coffee.

I’m still waiting for the episode in which Jerry takes Kenny Bania out, and Bania only orders broth.

What’s stranger: Frank Sinatra strong-arming Jay Leno so that he will perform for the mob or the fact that Leno has NEVER had a cup of coffee?  Find out here (at 16:30). Leno notes that he lives in Hollywood and is not addicted to anything, so he thanks Seinfeld for introducing him to an addictive item. Then Jerry reminds him that he, “who is not addicted to anything”, owns more than 200 cars and motorcycles.

This may be the best episode of this series yet, as two old and, as you can tell, extremely dear friends, yuck it up. And, per usual, the Acura ads that bookend the ep –which I assume are written and voiced by Seinfeld — are as solid as anything on TV.

5. Bo Schembechler, Bob McAdoo and Christie Brinkley

Scott Mitchell: Oh, and his team has won its last three games.

The other night I was researching a story about college basketball’s plethora of lop-sided games this season, when I noticed that the coach at St. Katherine College in Encinitas, Calif., which has lost four games by more than 50 points, had his phone number listed on the school’s site.

So I phoned.

And I’m glad that I did. Scott Mitchell, 57, is a wonderful guy and quite the character. Sometimes a story takes you some place that you never expected.

Reserves

Did anyone ever explain why a movie star embarked on a three-hour cruise alone and dressed like that?

The Professor (Russell Johnson, 89). Reuben Kincaid (Dave Madden, 82). We lost them both yesterday, and as these things happen in threes, I fear for the welfare of Hot Lips Houlihan. By the way, came across this list. Somebody actually thought it would be a good idea to name a show “Szysznyk?” (140). And, yes, I had forgotten that someone else made a spinoff of “Sanford and Son” for Grady.

Pre-pubescent you and me: How does the Professor make all those gadgets out of coconuts and bamboo? Post-pubescent you and me: How come the Professor can’t close the deal with either Ginger or Maryann? And why didn’t they ever do a cross-promotional “Gilligan’s Island” episode in which Major Nelson’s lunar module splashes down nearby? Okay, sure, they were on different networks, but work with me, people.

******

The Greek Freak

This shot block of Kevin Durant (video in the link) is what got my attention.

Let’s credit Deadspin for, at least on a national basis, discovering Milwaukee Buck rookie Giannis Antetokuonmpo. He’s six-foot-nine and he is going to be fun to watch.

****

Too Strong in Tucson

No. 1 Arizona kicks Arizona State to the curb and back up I-10 (wave to Picacho Peak as you pass it…for the next 30 miles) with an easy 91-68 victory. Six Wildcats score in double figures, but none over 16 points. That’s coaching nectar.

The Hall

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner

1937 (yes, we realized our error): Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P.

1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B

1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF

1940:

Billy Hamilton, OF; 1888-1901, Cowboys, Phillies, Beaneaters

Sure, he was a 19th century player, but Hamilton remains No. 3 all-time in steals (912), No. 7 in batting average (.344), No. 4 in OBP (.455) and still holds the record for runs in a single season (198).

Sliding Billy Hamilton, here idling, not sliding.

Cap Anson, 1B, 1871-1897, Citys, A’s, White Stockings

History has not been kind to his legacy –Anson both attended Notre Dame and was reputedly a racist — but he was the first to eclipse the 3,000-hit barrier (the total of 3,481 is disputed), he led the future Chicago Cubs to five pennants and he played a record 27 consecutive seasons.

The Bank

Balance: $817

Last Night: Southern Utah, which had lost its previous three games by 36, 28, and 34 points, covers an 18-point spread. I lose.

Record: 5-6

Tonight: Let’s take Boston, minus-6.5, at home versus the Lakers. LA will be without Swaggy P., while the Celtics welcome back Rajon Rando after a 357-day absence. For $20.

Remote Patrol

SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY!

Patriots at Broncos CBS 3 p.m.

49ers at Seahawks FOX 6:30 p.m.

Brady-Manning. Harbaugh-Carroll. ‘nuf said.

STARTING FIVE

Another “Rush” that finds itself snubbed. Geddy Lee feels your pain.

1. All is Lost

The Oscar nominations are announced (by a super hero/mythic creature/Formula 1 driver) and there’s absolutely no love for the Coen Brothers’ “Inside Llewyn Davis.” No Best Picture nominee, no Best Actor for Oscar Isaac, and no Best Supporting Actor for John Goodman, who’s phenomenal.

Also, “Rush”, Chris Hemsworth’s vehicle (wink wink), garners no love.

I haven’t seen “American Hustle”, so if you have, please disabuse me of the notion that David O. Russell is simply attempting a paint-by-numbers version of “Goodfellas.” Cuz that’s what it looks like from the trailer.

And weren’t “Argo” and “Milk” enough? Do we need to revisit every iconic late 1970’s scandal or scam? Is someone already working on a screenplay about The Village People? Or “The Who” concert in Cincinnati? I’d actually go see a move about the behind-the-scenes works of WKRP in Cincinnati, but that’s just me.

UPDATE: Grantland’s Mark Lisanti nailed it: Not being nominated for a major Oscar is the most Llewyn Davis thing that could happen to “Inside Llewyn Davis.”

2. Riches to Rags

Anthony Benchett? Benchett??? Get it? The question becomes, Will he get much better or is he Michael Olawakandi?

It is one of singer Tony Bennett’s most popular tunes. You may remember it from “Goodfellas.” “Rags to Riches.”

Then there’s Cleveland Cavalier rookie Anthony Bennett. The No. 1 overall pick in last June’s NBA draft, Bennett went from rags to riches when he signed a deal reportedly worth $22.8 million over four years. Last night in Portland, though, Bennett got his second DNP-CD in as many nights.

Oh, he’s languishing. The should-be-sophomore at UNLV is averaging 2.2 points per game in 10.4 minutes per game. Fellow Cav rookie Matthew Dellavedova, who went undrafted, is averaging 4.5 ppg in 16 mpg. And costs a lot less.

In other No. 1 overall news, center Greg Oden appeared in his first NBA game since 2009 last night, scoring six points and grabbing 2 boards in eight minutes. The Heat, by the way, have seven players who were selected 6th or higher in the NBA draft. Can you name them? Answer after No. 5.

3. Clayton Kashcow

Who? Me!?! $200 mil? Su-weet!

Seven years, $215 million. While you should never give a pitcher a contract beyond four to five years in duration, especially a power pitcher, the Dodgers have to love that Kershaw will only be 26 years old on Opening Day and that he is the ONLY pitcher in the Top 40 all-time in WHIP (No. 18 at 1.092) who is currently throwing and the ONLY pitcher in the Top 200 all-time in ERA (No. 56 at 2.60). The Texan is baseball’s first $200 million pitcher.

The only oddity about Kershaw is that the Dodgers never seen to hit when he’s pitching. They have a case of what’s known in the American League as Verlanderitis.

4. College Hoops Mismatches

Say this for David: he made his shots count.

I scrolled through every last Division I basketball team’s schedule this season (and I invite you to check my math, because I did not double-check it) and here is what I found: There have been, in games between Division I schools and non-Division I schools, FIFTY-TWO games that have been decided by 50 or more points. There have been EIGHTEEN games decided by 60 or more.

Isn’t that obscene?

Here are the ten most ridiculous scores:

104…Southern 116, Champions Bible College 12

It was 44-0 at one point.

84…Utah 128, Evergreen State 44

The Geoducks shot 1 for 27 from behind the arc.

83….San Diego State 118, St. Katherine 35

Firebird coach Scott Mitchell did the team’s laundry that night b/c of game w/Utah next day.

83…CMU 127, Marygrove 44

The Mustangs scored one field goal in the game’s final 10 minutes.

82…Charleston Southern 122, St. Andrews 40

The Knights shot 29.8% from the field.

79…Charleston Southern 130, Johnson U. 51

74…VMI 128, Washington College 54

73….Utah 124, St. Katherine 51

71….Weber State 107, St. Katherine 36

69…Eastern Kentucky 114, Warren Wilson 45

5. Flori-D’oh!

“Don’t shoot! I’m just trying to contact Tony Dungy.”

Good friend and loyal MH reader Greg Auman reports the following. Only 11 days before the movie theater shooting due to texting, he was in that very theater with his son taking in “The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug” (don’t judge). Anyway, GA is the Tampa Bay Buccaneer beat writer for the Tampa Bay Times and while he was watching the film, news comes down that the Bucs have hired Lovie Smith as their new coach.

“So I’m thinking, I don’t want to take my son out of the last 15 minutes of the movie,” says GA, “but I don’t want to be rude.”

He texted, as discreetly as possible, the sources he needed to text. But it could have ended very tragically. After all, MH can ill afford to lose loyal readers.

Answer: LeBron James, Ray Allen, Chris Bosh, Shane Battier, Dwyane Wade, Michael Beasley and Greg Oden.

Reserves

So, yes, the Heat trailed 43-18 to the Wizards last night after one quarter following four nights off. And they lost. You know what? They don’t care. They’re No. 2 in the East and the closest team behind them is seven games back in the loss column. Miami knows that at worst it will finish second and it’ll just have to win a game at Indianapolis around the time that someone yells, “Gentlemen, start your engines.” They certainly have yet to start theirs.

***

The Lakers fall 121-114 at Phoenix. They’ve now allowed 724 points in their last six games, or more than 120 points per game. Paul Westhead would be so proud.

*****
The Hall

Banned from baseball, Jackson moved on to a critically acclaimed recording career.

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner

1937 (yes, we realized our error): Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P.

1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B

1939:

Napoleon “Nap” Lajoie, 2B; 1896-1916, Phillies, A’s, Naps

“The Frenchman” finished 14th all-time in Hits (3,243) and 18th in batting average (.338) and they even named the team he player-managed after him.

Shoeless Joe Jackson, LF; 1908-1920, A’s, Naps, Indians, White Sox

Batted .408 as a rookie and .356 for his career, third-best all-time. Besides, we like Ray Liotta.

The Bank

Balance: $927

Last Night: Took the Heat, minus 5.5, they lost by like 47. Or close to that. Chumps.

Record: 5-6

Tonight: As Brian Fontana once advised Champ Kind, “Why don’t you sit this next one out?”

UPDATE: My high school buddies have a mantra: “You can’t keep us from rockin’!” (Not that anyone was attempting to). Based on that belief and the fact that Idaho State is only giving up 18.5 at home to Southern Utah, a school that lost at home last week by 28 and 34, let’s take the Vandals minus the points for $100.

Remote Patrol

Thunder at Rockets

TNT 9:30 p.m.

“Beardman! Beardman!” Harden is 5th in the NBA in scoring, while Durant is 1st.

It’s not that I don’t understand the James Harden trade. It’s that I don’t want to. You get Durant, Westbrook and James in a room, play your favorite Rev. Al Green song and ask them if they’d rather have people gushing over them three decades from now or if they’d rather have a fourth Maserati. I’ll admit it, I don’t understand the value of Insanely Conspicuous Wealth over Ridiculously Conspicuous Wealth.

The Hall

–Nap Lajoie

STARTING FIVE

Michael Qualls’ cleaned up Ky Madden’s three-point miss with 0.2 seconds to spare.

1. Above the Rim Shot

Earlier in the SEC foul fest (58 called) between Arkansas and Kentucky, ESPN’s Jimmy Dykes said, only partly in jest, that Arkansas sophomore Michael Qualls was not only better playing above the rim but that “he should play his entire game above the rim.”

Check.

Qualls watched from the left wing as teammate Ky Madden shot a three from the right wing (when any shot would do….Walters Pet Peeve No. 15). He floated in toward the hoop just as the ball hit the rim and bounced nearly straight up and, with three five-star Wildcat players looking on (boxing out? Who cares about boxing out?), soared up and jammed home the miss, uncontested, as time expired.

Lorenzo Charles would be proud.

The Hogs, who lost an overtime game at home to No. 10 Florida on Saturday, snapping a 23-game win streak at Bud Walton Arena, improve to 12-4 and 1-2 in the SEC.

2. A Bee Stings

Dana Perino: The center of a Bizarre Love Triangle?

So The Daily Show, specifically correspondent Samantha Bee (the wife of correspondent Jason Jones), takes on Fox News’ 5 p.m. broadcast, “The Five.” The less I say, the better, but do stay tuned for the off-the-cuff comment during the grilling segment.

3. Allison Williams Power Rankings*

Asked Bo Ryan the same question twice after he dodged it the first time. Well done, Allison.

Wonders why she and all of her friends have alliterative aliases.

This week’s rankings, as compiled by myself…

1) Allison Williams: The ESPN sideline reporter works Indiana’s upset of No. 3 Wisconsin and takes us to “the cage”, where all the big heads are stored.

2) Allison Williams: As Marnie, the “Girls” co-star is still reeling from her breakup from Charlie, and, I would assume, the trauma of seeing Lena Dunham in the nude so often. Also, Hannah Horvath, Marnie Michaels, Jessa Johansson and Shoshanna Shapiro. Really? Even Aaron Sorkin takes care to not give ALL of his leads alliterative names.

*Thanks to @StumpTheRob for that hed

4. Flori-Duh

Fortunately, no one had cell phones then. And few people were packing when they went to see “Rochelle, Rochelle.”

So you’ve heard about the man who was shot and killed for texting his daughter during the previews at a movie theater in Wesley Chapel, Florida.

Some of the details:

A) The film was “Lone Survivor.” Kind of puts a new spin on that “I don’t go home, you don’t go home” line.

B) The screening was at 1:20 p.m. on a Monday. That’s always a dicey crowd –sometimes Don Draper takes his son to movies at that time–but you shouldn’t have to die because of it.

C) The alleged shooter, Curtis Reeves, is 71 and a retired police officer. His son, Matthew, is a Tampa police officer and arrived at the scene moments after the shooting unaware of who the suspect was.

D) The victim, Chad Oulson, 43, was with his wife and was texting his daughter. Wouldn’t she have been in school at this time? Not that it really matters, but just asking…

E) Apparently, popcorn was thrown before the fatal shot was fired. Really? Popcorn thrown?

F) This is why you do not pull the move that Costanza did in the “Opposite George” episode.

5. His Horse (Power) Died

This dude’s Dakar Rally is most likely over.

It never makes SportsCenter, but one of the world’s –and January’s– more intriguing sporting events each year is the Dakar Rally. Originally a road rally that ran from Paris, France, to Dakar, Senegal, since the race’s inception in 1978 (and no, they did not race cars that floated across the Mediterranean a la Chitty Chitty Bang Bang), the race moved to South America in 2009 because, well, Africa is one ____-up continent. Safety-wise. Just ask Maggie Jordan.

So this year’s event is being run between Rosario, Argentina, and Valparaiso, Chile. Some 431 teams started off on the off-road race on January 5 and will complete the 13 stages on Saturday. Or hope to. Already one racer (Belgian motorcycle rider Eric Palante) and two members of the media have died during the rally. Oh, and Robby Gordon, who seems to prefer off-road racing to the high-profile and more lucrative Indy Car races that he does, is also racing. Yesterday, in fact, he fixed his own Hummer (Hey, now!) in the Argentine desert.

Here are some amazing photos of the rally courtesy of The Atlantic.

Reserves

ESPN’s Dan Dakich during last night’s Wisconsin-Indiana game: “You cannot play sports dead.” He’s right, you know. Not that I’ve tested his theory.

***

Remember when Bruce Springsteen would never appear on TV. It was an epic moment when he showed up for Letterman’s final show with NBC in 1993. Well, those days are over. Here’s Bruce with Jimmy Fallon last night. Give Jimmy credit, though: He does a mean 1975 Bruce (as does 64 year-old Bruce. Nice guns.)

Speaking of SNL and the Chris Christie traffic fiasco, here’s a story on how the actual Richard Feder of Fort Lee, N.J., was stuck in that mess.

The Hall

Collins is one of only 29 men to play in four different decades.

Charter: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner

1939: Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, Pitcher

1940:

1. Grover Cleveland “Pete” Alexander, P; 1911-1930, Phillies, Cubs Cardinals

Lifetime record of 373-208. Third all-time in wins, second in shutouts (90), and also fought in World War I.

2. Eddie Collins, 2B; 1906-1930, Athletics, White Sox

3,315 career hits is 11th all-time, No. 8 all-time in steals (741) and No. 1 in sacrifice bunts (512). Like Lou Gehrig, he graduated from Columbia University.

The Bank

Balance: $982

Last Night: Took Wiscy minus 3.5 at IU, blatantly disregarding Friedman’s First Law. And paid for it.

Record: 5-5 (just the way Vegas likes it)

Tonight: I’m feeling the Heat, and I’m not even in Melbourne. In the past week Miami has lost to a pair of sub-.500 NYC teams, had four days off, and visited the White House. They’re minus 6.5 at Washington tonight. Let’s slap $50 on that.

Remote Patrol

Australian Open

ESPN 9 p.m. — 7 a.m.

Poor weather for a walkabout.

It’s ESPN Future, as you can watch matches live that are actually taking place tomorrow! Freaky! Stay up all night and make bets with your friends as to which seeded player will be the first to faint in the 107-degree heat.

STARTING FIVE

Omaha is also home to the Gallup poll. Why they are not located in Gallup, New Mexico, I don’t know.

1. Omaha Stakes…Its Claim

It’s not just Warren Buffett’s home any more. This fine Nebraska city, located on the banks of the Missouri River, has recently become the nexus of pop culture. First, thanks to mic’ed up QBs, we heard Denver Bronco QB Peyton Manning yelling “Omaha!” all game (44 times, according to NFL.com) against the Chargers on Sunday.

Then there’s the film “Nebraska”, which makes Omaha its version of Oz. Our protagonist, Woody Grant (Bruce Dern), spends most of the film in an attempt to reach that destination and “collect my million dollars.”

Now managing a Cinnabon here…

Of course, when Woody arrives, if he arrived, he could eat at a Cinnabon managed by Saul Goodman (Bob Odenkirk, who actually plays one of Woody’s sons in “Nebraska”).

Finally, Woody might want to head over to watch the a Creighton basketball game, as the Bluejays boast perhaps the leading candidate for this year’s Naismith and Wooden Awards, Doug McDermott (25.0 ppg, 2nd in the nation).

McDermott: Nearly–nearly!– as beloved as Aaron Craft.

Three more thoughts on Nebraska’s crown jewel, its largest city: 1) If you ever get the chance, read R.A. Dickey’s Wherever I Wind Up. It’s a thoughtful sports book but he also relates a hilarious story about how he almost drowned in the Missouri River in Omaha. 2) “Omaha” was a code nae for one of the landing points at Normandy, and 3) More than 20 years later, we can at last salute Adam Duritz’s prescience: “Omaha/Somewhere in middle America/Get right to the heart of matters/It’s the heart that matters more….”

“Rain…very, very….Elizabeth…yeaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!”

2. Repeat After Me…

Do you believe in Majok?

New York, New York. Sirhan Sirhan. And now, one of the nation’s leading rebounders: Majok Majok. The six-foot-nine senior at Ball State, who is 10th in the nation with 10.5 boards per game, was born in South Sudan (which now happens to be one of the world’s most dangerous places) and has lived in Perth, Australia, before arriving in the States.

Majok (“Ma-zhuk”) also had this game-winnin’, buzzer-beatin’ dunk 11 days ago.

Because this would never come up again: One summer when I was at SI I was assigned to write the overview for the college football preview. And I noticed that the Cardinals had a pair of twin brothers, Raphael Ball and Raphaol Ball (seriously). So I wrangled a phoner (interview) with them, which led to the following line, in which one Ball brother informs me that it will be business as usual in Muncie: “Same ol’ same ol’,” Ball State’s Ball states.”

Thank you. Thank you.

3. Where There’s A Will…

Now stay tuned for “Some of the People Some of the Time” with Megyn Kelly.

HBO announces that Will McAvoy, Mckenzie McHale, Jim Harper, Maggie Jordan, Sloan Sabbith and Slumdog have been renewed for a third and final season. Spoiler Alert: Sorority Girl may finally receive a name.

Some will lament that “The Newsroom” will end its run, but just how much hate-watching can you do? I’ve always loved the show –and, yes, it gets on my nerves, too, at times –but also recognize the value of show’s having finite and relatively short arcs. Two of the best shows of this millennium, both created by Ricky Gervais, ended after two-season, 12-episode runs: “The Office” and the criminally under-watched “Extras.”

Anyway, I’ll enjoy the final season of “The Newsroom” and can only hope that it ends with McAvoy alone in a vehicle in New Hampshire listening to a Marty Robbins tune. Meanwhile, here’s the first and still best scene in the show’s two-year run.

4. Another Step Back For Women’s Hoops?

Stewart (in white) is a latter-day Havlicek.

UConn 66, Baylor 55, in Waco.

The Huskies end the Bears’ 69-game home win streak in what will be the showcase game in women’s basketball this season, at least until the Final Four. Why?

Because Tennessee won’t play the Huskies any more (and, in truth, the Lady Vols are shadows of their former selves) and Notre Dame, which is ranked No. 2 at 15-0, no longer has to. And doesn’t want to.

Kudos to Kim Mulkey, a coach cut from the same cloth as Geno Auriemma and probably the closest thing he’s ever had to a soul mate among female coaches in his profession, for continuing this non-conference series. Listen, I love “The Mulkey”. True confession: My friend Moose and I have our own unofficial “Hall of Fame” in which there are only five members: Charles Davis, The Mulkey, J.R. Moehringer, my cat and my Speedo (it’s a long story).

So I love The Mulkey.

But Baylor is not currently in Connecticut’s class. Nobody is. As much praise that is heaped upon Auriemma for the job that he has done the past two decades, it’s not enough. He has to recruit against the weather and against his school’s location (have you been to Storrs? It’s located right next to grandmother’s house in that “Over the river and through the woods…” tune) and now that the Huskies are in the American Athletic Conference, he must recruit against that, too.

And still no one has come closer than Baylor did last night, 11 points. Yes, Stefanie Dolson and particularly Breanna Stewart are great players. But just watch a Huskies game –and this has been the story for nearly two decades now –and pay attention to how much higher a basketball IQ Geno’s team has. It’s beautiful to watch. And it gets there because Geno is one tough SOB at practice. Trust me.

Meanwhile, and I normally really enjoy Doris Burke, but it’s 2014. Can we stop heaping praise on the losing side for how hard they tried? It’s patronizing. These are scholarship Division I athletes, not T-ball players. Yes, Baylor tried hard. Almost everyone does at that level. One mention? Fine. Beyond that, it becomes annoying. Doris knows that Geno would never want to hear someone “praise” his team for trying hard during a loss. He’d just be pissed that they lost.

5. Jerry and George Enter a Diner

They can only hope that they don’t run into Kenny Bania or Crazy Joe Davola.

I do hope Elaine asked them to pick up a Big Salad for her.

Jerry Seinfeld and Jason Alexander were spotted entering Tom’s Diner yesterday. The famous spot, located just south of the Columbia University campus on Broadway and 112th Street (and also the inspiration for a Suzanne Vega tune), was the show’s most popular setting after Jerry’s apartment. You’d always see the exterior, but they would always excise “Tom’s” from the shot.

No word on exactly why they were there, but notice how Alexander, a very wealthy man, is festooned in Costanzan garb. Still,  if there were ever a spot where comedians in cars should stop for coffee, this is it. Especially if they still hire busty waitresses.

Reserves

Speaker would be a terrific pitchman for Bose if he played today.

The Hall

Last week I had the bright idea that the Baseball Hall of Fame should allow no more than two players per year, the idea being that Cooperstown would be a more special place if it were more exclusive, not less exclusive. Hence, I thought it would be fun to pull a Doc Brown and travel back in time, to retroactively vote in members of the Hall.

So here’s how it will work (and I’m attempting to enlist a colleague or two to help going forward). We’ll admit the inaugural class of five –Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, Honus Wagner, Christy Mathewson and Walter Johnson –and then work from there, beginning in 1939. As with the actual HoF, a player (and we’ll only vote on players) is not eligible until he’s been retired for five seasons. Today’s ballot:

Cy Young, 1890-1911, 5 teams, among them the St. Louis Perfectos

Most wins (yes, and losses) all-time with a record of 511-316. Cy was short for “Cyclone”, the original nickname of Denton True Young.

Tris Speaker, 1907-1928; four teams, among them the Boston Red Sox

“The Grey Eagle” is still baseball’s all-time leader in doubles (792) and outfield assists, and has the sixth-highest batting average (.345) of all time.

The Bank

Balance: $1,004

Last Night: Took Toronto minus 12.5 versus Milwaukee. Raptors won by 22.

Record: 5-4

Tonight: Let’s go with Wisconsin minus-3.5 at Indiana. The Badgers have beaten five of their last six opponents by at least 15 points. We’ll put $20 on Bucky.

Remote Patrol

Lee Daniels’ The Butler at No. 20 Creighton

Fox Sports 1 9 p.m.

Kate Beckinsale at the Golden Globes (one Doug McDermott shot is enough)

Let’s end the post as we began it: Omaha! The Bluejays lead the nation in three-point shooting and you takes your moments of Doug McDermott’s senior season whens you can get them. Butler has fallen from its Brad Stevens’ Final Four days, but we’re here to see McDermott, who put up 35 on Xavier over the weekend.