STARTING FIVE

1. Circle Jerks

You want to read a terrifying book? Read “The Circle” by Dave Eggers. It’s about a Google/Facebook-like company where “1984” is happening all over again, except that, now that it’s 2014, just about every scenario Eggers provides is plausible. Every step toward knowing more that trades in humanity for the supposed benefit of total transparency is a step in this direction. Today, I submit to you baseball’s decision to have total reply in 2014.

Read this book. It comes highly recommended, from the Medium Happy Biblio-files.

2. Show Me The Koufax

Yesterday for Newsweek I compared the three best consecutive seasons that Clayton Kershaw has had to the three best consecutive seasons Sandy Koufax ever had. It’ll be pretty obvious who won that battle. Kershaw just became the highest-paid player ($30 million-plus per for seven years). Koufax never earned more than $125,000, which he took home in 1966. Extrapolated to 2014 dollars, that’s still only about $900,000 per season.

3. Durant Durant

The Houston Rockets scored 73 first-half points last night against the Oklahoma City Thunder. They score 19 in the second half. That’s almost as bad as one-fourth. Kevin Durant scored 36 AND guarded James Harden down the stench stretch. The Rockets put up a season-high 73 in the first half, with a dozen threes; in the second they tied the NBA record for fewest points in a half while not connecting on a single three. Nice coaching, there, Scott Brooks.

4. Comedians. Cars. Coffee.

What’s stranger: Frank Sinatra strong-arming Jay Leno so that he will perform for the mob or the fact that Leno has NEVER had a cup of coffee?  Find out here (at 16:30). Leno notes that he lives in Hollywood and is not addicted to anything, so he thanks Seinfeld for introducing him to an addictive item. Then Jerry reminds him that he, “who is not addicted to anything”, owns more than 200 cars and motorcycles.

This may be the best episode of this series yet, as two old and, as you can tell, extremely dear friends, yuck it up. And, per usual, the Acura ads that bookend the ep –which I assume are written and voiced by Seinfeld — are as solid as anything on TV.

5. Bo Schembechler, Bob McAdoo and Christie Brinkley

The other night I was researching a story about college basketball’s plethora of lop-sided games this season, when I noticed that the coach at St. Katherine College in Encinitas, Calif., which has lost four games by more than 50 points, had his phone number listed on the school’s site.

So I phoned.

And I’m glad that I did. Scott Mitchell, 57, is a wonderful guy and quite the character. Sometimes a story takes you some place that you never expected.

Reserves

The Professor (Russell Johnson, 89). Reuben Kincaid (Dave Madden, 82). We lost them both yesterday, and as these things happen in threes, I fear for the welfare of Hot Lips Houlihan. By the way, came across this list. Somebody actually thought it would be a good idea to name a show “Szysznyk?” (140). And, yes, I had forgotten that someone else made a spinoff of “Sanford and Son” for Grady.

Pre-pubescent you and me: How does the Professor make all those gadgets out of coconuts and bamboo? Post-pubescent you and me: How come the Professor can’t close the deal with either Ginger or Maryann? And why didn’t they ever do a cross-promotional “Gilligan’s Island” episode in which Major Nelson’s lunar module splashes down nearby? Okay, sure, they were on different networks, but work with me, people.

******

The Greek Freak

Let’s credit Deadspin for, at least on a national basis, discovering Milwaukee Buck rookie Giannis Antetokuonmpo. He’s six-foot-nine and he is going to be fun to watch.

****

Too Strong in Tucson

No. 1 Arizona kicks Arizona State to the curb and back up I-10 (wave to Picacho Peak as you pass it…for the next 30 miles) with an easy 91-68 victory. Six Wildcats score in double figures, but none over 16 points. That’s coaching nectar.

The Hall

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner

1937 (yes, we realized our error): Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P.

1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B

1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF

1940:

Billy Hamilton, OF; 1888-1901, Cowboys, Phillies, Beaneaters

Sure, he was a 19th century player, but Hamilton remains No. 3 all-time in steals (912), No. 7 in batting average (.344), No. 4 in OBP (.455) and still holds the record for runs in a single season (198).

Cap Anson, 1B, 1871-1897, Citys, A’s, White Stockings

History has not been kind to his legacy –Anson both attended Notre Dame and was reputedly a racist — but he was the first to eclipse the 3,000-hit barrier (the total of 3,481 is disputed), he led the future Chicago Cubs to five pennants and he played a record 27 consecutive seasons.

The Bank

Balance: $817

Last Night: Southern Utah, which had lost its previous three games by 36, 28, and 34 points, covers an 18-point spread. I lose.

Record: 5-6

Tonight: Let’s take Boston, minus-6.5, at home versus the Lakers. LA will be without Swaggy P., while the Celtics welcome back Rajon Rando after a 357-day absence. For $20.

Remote Patrol

SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY!

Patriots at Broncos CBS 3 p.m.

49ers at Seahawks FOX 6:30 p.m.

Brady-Manning. Harbaugh-Carroll. ‘nuf said.