STARTING FIVE
Pete Carroll and John Fox guarantee that white-haired men will get their moment in SB XLVIII. Maybe John Slattery does the coin toss?
1. Sure, Man
Ironically, considering the long-festering enmity between coaches Jim Harbaugh and Pete Carroll, it was a Stanford grad (Richard Sherman) who tipped a pass to a USC alum (Malcolm Smith) for the game-winning interception in the NFC Championship Game. For all of Sherman’s finely-orchestrated bluster –he is a summa cum laude graduate of the Dennis Rodman Deion Sanders Academy of Self-Aggrandizement–he’s right: Why challenge one of the best cornerbacks in the game when you still had 30 seconds and two timeouts remaining?
Seattle’s game-winning TD? A fourth-and-seven from the 35 in which Carroll sent trips right deep. Bravo, sir. Bravo. This is a man who once got fired and replaced by Rich Kotite. And now he’s returning to that same area, if not exact venue, in an attempt to become the first coach to win both a national championship AND a Super Bowl without having done so with the Dallas Cowboys.
2. M.M. Good
“I’ll take a sixer of Lone Star, Old Milwaukee. Nothin’ snooty.”
Another winter weekend, another award for Matthew McConaughey. But where he is TRULY killing it is on HBO’s “True Detective”, where as Rust Cohle he spends half the show looking like a young Tom Verducci and the other half looking and behaving like Nicholas Cage in “Leaving Las Vegas”: “Because it’s Thursday and Thursday’s one of my days off. And on my off days, I start drinking at noon. You don’t get to interrupt that….Appreciate a little hustle-up on that.”
This week’s best line, when asked if his mother is still alive: “Maybe.”
By the way, they don’t give awards for one-scene-only acting, but the dude who played the prisoner in the premiere episode eight days ago (“Like she could duck hunt with a rake”) was spot-on perfect.
We are two episodes in, and right now my favorite guess for who the serial killer may be is the ex-LSU pitcher who appears to have ALS, Danny Fontenot.
3. Drake Aims For Timberlake
The Canadian hip-hop artist pulled Timberlake (and Swift) double-duty on SNL the other night, both hosting and serving as musical guest. Rare is the host who both appears and carries the cold open, but Drake did, portraying Alex Rodriguez (1:50) and blaming Jackie Robinson “for breaking into the Major Leagues, which really led to this whole situation in the first place.”
Drake also reminded everyone that he is both a person of color and Jewish, performing a barmitzvah rap that included the lyric ““Please don’t forget I’m black, please don’t forget I’m Jewish/I play ball like LeBron and I know what a W-2 is.”)
4. MLK Thought
So, yes, the two most prominent African-American roles in what could be this year’s Best Picture were not played by African-Americans.
Just a thought, not so much about Dr. King but about this year’s Oscars and people of color. There are three nominees for acting Oscars who are of African descent, but none of them are African-American: Chiwetel Ejiofor, who is English, for Best Actor, “12 Years A Slave”; Barkhad Abdi, who is Somalian, for Best Supporting Actor, “Captain Phillips”; and Lupita Nyong’o, who is Kenyan, for Best Supporting Actress, “12 Years a Slave.”
Kevin Hart, your nomination for “Ride Along” can’t get here soon enough.
5. An Army of One
Onoda was known to prefer Springsteen’s “No Retreat, No Surrender” to Corey Hart’s “Never Surrender.”
By now you’ve probably heard that Hiroo Onoda, the Japanese soldier who remained hidden in the Phillippines after World War II until 1974, died this weekend at the age of 91. Louis Zamperini is still alive. Just sayin’… You know this will be turned into a movie as soon as Hollywood can figure out how to turn Mark Wahlberg into a waif-thin Japanese soldier.
Reserves
A Medium Happy exclusive: un-retouched Lena Dunham photo.
*****
Seth Meyers with a perfectly worded Bridge Gate joke: “Don’t cross this guy (photo of Chris Christie) if you want to cross this guy (photo of GWB).”
*****
Flori-Duh
Is there no barrier with you people? Really?
The Hall
I’m tempted to vote in Ol’ Hoss Radbourn because this man is a first ballot Hall of Name inductee. But he’ll have to wait.
Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner
1937 (yes, we realized our error): Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P.
1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B
1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF
1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B
1941:
Keelrr: That material doesn’t look like it breathes.
Willie Keeler, RF; 1892-19010, 6 teams, including New York Highlanders
The man who first said, “Hit ’em where they ain’t” had a lifetime batting average of .341 (14th-best all-time) and once had 239 hits in a season. Stood only five-foot-five, maybe shorter.
George Sisler, 1B, 1915-1930, Browns, Braves Senators
A lifetime .340 hitter, in 1922 he hit .420 and led the American League in hits (246), stolen bases (51) and triples (18) while also compiling a then-record 41-game hit streak. His 257 hits in 1920 were a Major League record until Ichiro Suzuki broke it (with eight more games on schedule).
The Bank
Balance: $795
Last: Took Boston minus-6.5 versus Lakers; LA wins it only game in the past 13
Record: 5-7
Tonight: Ryan Kelly has 37 points in his past two games, both Laker wins. They’re getting 9.5 in Chicago. Let’s hop on board the Laker train for $40.
Remote Patrol
Pacers at Warriors
TNT 10:30 p.m.
Stephen Curry is actually No. 1 in the NBA in assists, which has something to do with Andrew Bogut being No. 1 in FG %.
The league’s best team, by record, versus the league’s best-shooting back court tandem. First squad to 124 points wins.