STARTING FIVE

1. Above the Rim Shot

Earlier in the SEC foul fest (58 called) between Arkansas and Kentucky, ESPN’s Jimmy Dykes said, only partly in jest, that Arkansas sophomore Michael Qualls was not only better playing above the rim but that “he should play his entire game above the rim.”

Check.

Qualls watched from the left wing as teammate Ky Madden shot a three from the right wing (when any shot would do….Walters Pet Peeve No. 15). He floated in toward the hoop just as the ball hit the rim and bounced nearly straight up and, with three five-star Wildcat players looking on (boxing out? Who cares about boxing out?), soared up and jammed home the miss, uncontested, as time expired.

Lorenzo Charles would be proud.

The Hogs, who lost an overtime game at home to No. 10 Florida on Saturday, snapping a 23-game win streak at Bud Walton Arena, improve to 12-4 and 1-2 in the SEC.

2. A Bee Stings

So The Daily Show, specifically correspondent Samantha Bee (the wife of correspondent Jason Jones), takes on Fox News’ 5 p.m. broadcast, “The Five.” The less I say, the better, but do stay tuned for the off-the-cuff comment during the grilling segment.

3. Allison Williams Power Rankings*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This week’s rankings, as compiled by myself…

1) Allison Williams: The ESPN sideline reporter works Indiana’s upset of No. 3 Wisconsin and takes us to “the cage”, where all the big heads are stored.

2) Allison Williams: As Marnie, the “Girls” co-star is still reeling from her breakup from Charlie, and, I would assume, the trauma of seeing Lena Dunham in the nude so often. Also, Hannah Horvath, Marnie Michaels, Jessa Johansson and Shoshanna Shapiro. Really? Even Aaron Sorkin takes care to not give ALL of his leads alliterative names.

*Thanks to @StumpTheRob for that hed

4. Flori-Duh

 

So you’ve heard about the man who was shot and killed for texting his daughter during the previews at a movie theater in Wesley Chapel, Florida.

Some of the details:

A) The film was “Lone Survivor.” Kind of puts a new spin on that “I don’t go home, you don’t go home” line.

B) The screening was at 1:20 p.m. on a Monday. That’s always a dicey crowd –sometimes Don Draper takes his son to movies at that time–but you shouldn’t have to die because of it.

C) The alleged shooter, Curtis Reeves, is 71 and a retired police officer. His son, Matthew, is a Tampa police officer and arrived at the scene moments after the shooting unaware of who the suspect was.

D) The victim, Chad Oulson, 43, was with his wife and was texting his daughter. Wouldn’t she have been in school at this time? Not that it really matters, but just asking…

E) Apparently, popcorn was thrown before the fatal shot was fired. Really? Popcorn thrown?

F) This is why you do not pull the move that Costanza did in the “Opposite George” episode.

5. His Horse (Power) Died

It never makes SportsCenter, but one of the world’s –and January’s– more intriguing sporting events each year is the Dakar Rally. Originally a road rally that ran from Paris, France, to Dakar, Senegal, since the race’s inception in 1978 (and no, they did not race cars that floated across the Mediterranean a la Chitty Chitty Bang Bang), the race moved to South America in 2009 because, well, Africa is one ____-up continent. Safety-wise. Just ask Maggie Jordan.

So this year’s event is being run between Rosario, Argentina, and Valparaiso, Chile. Some 431 teams started off on the off-road race on January 5 and will complete the 13 stages on Saturday. Or hope to. Already one racer (Belgian motorcycle rider Eric Palante) and two members of the media have died during the rally. Oh, and Robby Gordon, who seems to prefer off-road racing to the high-profile and more lucrative Indy Car races that he does, is also racing. Yesterday, in fact, he fixed his own Hummer (Hey, now!) in the Argentine desert.

Here are some amazing photos of the rally courtesy of The Atlantic.

Reserves

ESPN’s Dan Dakich during last night’s Wisconsin-Indiana game: “You cannot play sports dead.” He’s right, you know. Not that I’ve tested his theory.

***

Remember when Bruce Springsteen would never appear on TV. It was an epic moment when he showed up for Letterman’s final show with NBC in 1993. Well, those days are over. Here’s Bruce with Jimmy Fallon last night. Give Jimmy credit, though: He does a mean 1975 Bruce (as does 64 year-old Bruce. Nice guns.)

Speaking of SNL and the Chris Christie traffic fiasco, here’s a story on how the actual Richard Feder of Fort Lee, N.J., was stuck in that mess.

The Hall

Charter: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner

1939: Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, Pitcher

1940:

1. Grover Cleveland “Pete” Alexander, P; 1911-1930, Phillies, Cubs Cardinals

Lifetime record of 373-208. Third all-time in wins, second in shutouts (90), and also fought in World War I.

2. Eddie Collins, 2B; 1906-1930, Athletics, White Sox

3,315 career hits is 11th all-time, No. 8 all-time in steals (741) and No. 1 in sacrifice bunts (512). Like Lou Gehrig, he graduated from Columbia University.

The Bank

Balance: $982

Last Night: Took Wiscy minus 3.5 at IU, blatantly disregarding Friedman’s First Law. And paid for it.

Record: 5-5 (just the way Vegas likes it)

Tonight: I’m feeling the Heat, and I’m not even in Melbourne. In the past week Miami has lost to a pair of sub-.500 NYC teams, had four days off, and visited the White House. They’re minus 6.5 at Washington tonight. Let’s slap $50 on that.

Remote Patrol

Australian Open

ESPN 9 p.m. — 7 a.m.

It’s ESPN Future, as you can watch matches live that are actually taking place tomorrow! Freaky! Stay up all night and make bets with your friends as to which seeded player will be the first to faint in the 107-degree heat.