A Medium Happy 75th to Charllie Hustle….a.k.a. The Hit King. Put him in the Hall, already.
and a Medium Happy 76th to Julie Christie…
Starting Five
50 For 60
Okay, sure, the Utah Jazz played the role of Wolfsburg (or the Washington Generals), partiucularly in the fourth quarter, when Kobe scored 23 points all by himself, but the Mamba goes out scoring 60 points (for the 6th time in his career) on 50 shots, more than anyone in a sing game since Wilt Chamberlain retired.
He started out 0 for 5, but had 37 points after three quarters. Utah led 93-84 with 3;32 left and all that you or me or Mike Tirico cared about in the moment was whether Kobe, who had 45 at the time, would reach 50. He outscored the Jazz 15-2 over the next 3:27 (Jordan Clarkson added a dunk with :04 left) without another Laker scoring. L.A. won, 101-96.
This first quarter reverse lay-up with his back to the basket dropped, an omen for what was to come….
Hey, both teams somewhat grooved pitches for Kobe, but he still delivered. It was incredible how much more intriguing this game was than the one upstate.
His final career numbers: 33,643 points in 1346 games for a scoring average of…
24.9947994056
No all-time great has ever finished his or her career with a more emblematic game that I can recall. Ted Williams’ home run in his final at bat or Derek Jeter’s walk-off single in his final Yankee Stadium at-bat are the only two moments that come to mind.
Bryant thanked everyone after, then said, “Mamba Out.” The shirts bearing that phrase were already on sale on line
In terms of basking in one’s own personal glory, in front of everyone you cared about in your life, Tom Sawyer and Kobe Bryant are now in a league of their own.
2. Oh, By The Way….*
*The judges will also accept “Breaking Bulls”
The Golden State Warriors won their 73rd game. 73-9 is your now NBA record record.
Stephen Curry scored 46 points on less than half as many shots (24) as Kobe took. But who cares? Kobe’s final bow was pretty incredible to witness. And besides, the drama for the Dubs took place over the weekend with their back-to-back wins at Memphis and San Antonio.
Curry was 10 of 19 from beyond the arc to push him above 400 for the season
Curry ends the seasons with 402 threes, a new NBA record. The next-most this season came from his backcourt mate, Klay Thompson (276). And while Steph ends the season as the league’s leading scorer by average, 30.1., first-round foe James Harden actually scored one point than he did (2,376 to 2,375). Curry also led the league in Steals (2.14 per) and FT % (.908) while Harden led in minutes (38.1 per).
As a sub- “By the way,” Harden scored 38 and the Rockets won by 35 to clinch the 8th and final playoff spot out west
As I type these words, I see the Hot Take artists are working OT on Twitter this a.m. Kobe’s game was a one-off. The Dubs sealed the record with a courageous back-to-back over the weekend. There were no playoff spots at stake for either team at Staples. It was what it was, just a fun and once-in-a-career exhibition, an extended guitar solo. Are people really upset with how many shots Kobe chucked? Really?
And yes, I said the Warriors wouldn’t win 73 in late January. I was wrong.
3. Griezmann Is THE MAN
I don’t think this is legal
In UEFA Champions League play, Antoine Griezmann of Atletico Madrid scores on a header in the first half and a penalty kick (following a blatant hand ball) in the second. Atletico Madrid knocks out reigning champions FC Barcelona, 2-0. Lionel Messi, the Curry of soccer, is a non-factor and has now gone more than 450 minutes without a goal as he remains stuck on 499 for his Spanish club career.
Atletico Madrid and Real Madrid, who met in the final just two years ago (Real won), both advance to the semis along with Manchester City and Bayern Munich (2013 champs).
4. Fargo —> Far West
“Stay tuned for the ‘Best of Carson’….
The St. Louis Los Angeles Rams have traded with the Tennessee Titans for the first overall pick, and suddenly Carson Wentz is there to fill that long and aching Kobe void that L.A. has been feeling for nearly 11 hours (or does Jeff Fisher want Jared Goff? I dunno).
Or will we be saying of the Rams, “They went to Jared?” I have no NFL draftnik reasons for making this claim, but I think the Rams will take Wentz
Admire the moxie, and a good way for the Rams to make a splash with their old-and-new fans. The Titans get two first-, two second- and two third-round picks in the next two seasons. Very smart move by the non-Memphis Mariotas.
5. Taylor Swift Meets Jason Gay, Goes Platinum
Swift has now hung out with Jason Gay and Chuck Klosterman in the past nine months, which might be cool for her if she had a podcast
Brooklyn-based husband/dad and cycling aficionado meets eastern Pennsylvania native/worldwide pop culture sensation. I don’t know how this transpired, but I cannot wait to read this piece. In Vogue.
Music 101
Swing Swing
In late 2004, this All-American Rejects tune was featured on the premiere episode of The O.C. (“Welcome to the O.C., bitch!”) and at the time that was HUUUUGE. The band members were barely out of high school themselves. I unapologetically love three songs by this Stillwater, Oklahoma-based band. Sorry. I always thought lead singer Tyson Ritter had “it” and would be a bigger deal. Related: I saw The Format, lead singer Nate Reuss, open for these guys in 2007 in Phoenix. Reuss won the unofficial battle of the lead vocalists that night.
Remote Patrol
West Side Story
8 p.m. TCM
Jets. Sharks. “We’re gonna build a wall/And Puerto Rico’s gonna pay for it.”
As opposed to “Upper West Side Story,” a less entertaining musical about a sportswriter who lives with his cat and occasionally leaves his apartment for exercise and Hostess snack cakes.
A Medium Happy 65th to Max Weinberg, who’s had the best seat in rock ‘n roll for more than 40 years
Starting Five
It’s Ronaldo’s planet; we just sub in on it.
Cristiano the Redeemer
Real Madrid trailed Wolfsburg 2-0 in aggregate goals heading into yesterday’s second leg of they’re there their UEFA Champions League quarterfinal. Los Merengues would need 3 goals, at least, to advance to the next round. They got exactly that from Cristiano Ronaldo, who may be the best soccer player in the world (outside of Spain), in a 3-0 win.
Ronaldo scored on touch pass in the 16th minute, on a header off a corner kick in the 17th, and on a penalty kick outside the penalty box in the 77th. It was glorious. Real Madrid absolutely needed their leader to step up against the Germans—I mean, did any sports movie ever have a heavy that looked more beatable than Wolfsburg?—and he did.
The secret to CR7’s success is that he paralyzes defenders and keepers with his GQ cover handsomeness, and then moves in for the kill (it takes one to know one). I believe that’s his fifth hat trick in Champions League play. Most footballers would rightfully consider five goals in Champions League play a career achievement.
Madeira: Okay, twist our arms, we’ll hold the next staff retreat here.
One thing I love about Ronaldo, 31: he was born and raised on the tiny island of Madeira, which sits about 580 miles west of Morocco in the Atlantic Ocean. Greatness can come from anywhere.
2. Day of Mamba (Leave, Already!)
Note to Bill O’Reilly: He does not have tattoos all over his forehead
Facts on this, the day of the final game of Kobe Bryant’s 20-season Hall of Fame career:
Eight Players Who Have Won All-Star Game, NBA Finals* and Regular Season MVP Awards: Kobe, Michael Jordan, Shaquille O’Neal, LeBron James, Magic Johnson, Larry Bird, Tim Duncan and Willis Reed.
*The NBA Finals MVP award only began in 1969.
Has anyone caught more courtside Kobe in LA than Jack?
Most Points In a Single Game: Wilt, 100; Kobe, 81;
Games With at Least 44 Field Goal Attempts: Kobe, 5; MJ, 1; Chris Webber, 1 (numbers for players before 1983 were unavailable).
Players Who Played More Games AND Averaged More Points Per Game than Kobe: Karl Malone (1,476 and 25.02 to Kobe’s 1,346 and 24.97)
3. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeere’s Lonnnie!
The Grim Sleeper is suspected of committing at least 30 murders. Cuba Gooding, Jr., will play him in the FX movie.
This is Lonnie Franklin, alias “The Grim Sleeper.” He is on trial for killing 10 women, most of them in the 1980s, although other bodies began surfacing in the past 10 years. The retired detective who tracked him down, Dennis Kilcoyne, believes Franklin killed as many as 30 women.
Fascinating read here: How did the 800 Task Force catch Franklin? They arrested his son on a weapons charge in 2009 and noticed that the DNA matched the serial killer’s (the DNA evidence hadn’t been of an use to them in the 1980s.). Then they had a cop pose as a busboy at a pizzeria where Franklin’s family was having a family pizza party (he’s a married father of two who worked as a police mechanic and also drove a dump truck). The cop/bus boy took Franklin’s plate while theres was still some pizza crust on it and they obtained his DNA that way (so is that where Vince Gilligan got the idea for how Hank lifted Gus Fring‘s fingerprints in Breaking Bad?)
So how come we have not heard more about The Grim Sleeper before this week? Should I don my “liberal bias” cap and attest that maybe the fact that almost all the victims were poor black females had something to do with it? Either way, this sound like a modernized, African-American version of Devil In The White City: serial killer operating in a major American city just blocks from where a cultural phenomenon, in this case the LA. Lakers’ “Showtime” era, was taking place.
4. Chesapeake Bay Watch
The company has little, if anything, to do with the actual maritime area
I know, I know, I’m obsessed with the stock for Chesapeake Energy (CHK), an Oklahoma City-based energy (read: natural gas and fracking) company whose founder killed himself last month by driving head on into an overpass. But since the stock jumped SIXTY-ONE PERCENT between Friday’s close and yesterday’s close and since I’ve been nagging you to pay attention to it, I thought I’d revisit it here.
So, I went back and tracked the stock for six months, from Monday, October 12, to yesterday. And here’s a few things I found:
–On 49 separate days, the stock fluctuated 10% or more in value on intraday trading. With most other stocks I follow, that happens about one day every three months.
–The stock has fluctuated at least 10% in value every single week in the past six months. including NINE times when it fluctuated more than 30% in value. If Apple rose or dropped 30% this week or any week, believe me, you’d hear all about it. The most dramatic change occurred in early March, when the stock soared 115% in one week.
–Looking at individual weeks, from Monday’s open to Friday’s close, CHK has dropped at least 10% EIGHT times (the worst, 38% in early February) and has jumped at least 10% SIX times (the best, 80% in early March).
Who doesn’t enjoy a photo of a panda every now and then? Yes, I’m panda’ing to your tastes.
The point of all this: It’s a volatile stock. And I wouldn’t suggest you short it (I’m not a shorter, unless it comes to supporting Frank), but if you just have the discipline to wait for it to drop, say, 20%, and then if you just have the nerve to wait out if it happens to continue dropping (and buy more) until it goes up again 20% or more, you can do very well with this stock.*
*The opinions expressed herein are only those of JDubs and do not reflect the opinion of Medium Happy LLC, Medium Happy Inc., Medium Happy 90210, or Medium Happy Hairston; even if they do, don’t blame us.
5. “I’ll Be at the Raqqa Comedy Hut Next Weekend…”
Hey, dude behind Bono: Wake up!
I know that Bono’s suggestion that combating ISIS with comedy is a soft target for “serious” critics, but his point is well-taken. Yesterday U2’s lead singer, who has accomplished far more in his life both artistically and philanthropically than anyone who will criticize him has, testified before a Congressional subcommittee (because who doesn’t want a photo op with Bono?) and said:
“Don’t laugh at me, but it’s like, you speak violence, you speak their language. But you laugh at them when they are goose-stepping down the street and it takes away their power. So I am suggesting that the Senate send in Amy Schumer and Chris Rock and Sacha Baron Cohen, thank you.”
Okay, sure, the two-drink minimum deal is not going to go over very well with the Muslim crowd, but the laughs are just waiting to be unearthed: “I just flew in from a no-fly zone, and boy are my arms dealers tired…”
Anyway, this all goes back to Uncle Ruslan (Boston Marathon bombers), who pointed out that his two nephews are “losers.” Just as ISIS are losers. Laugh at a loser to shame him, don’t engage him and allow him to feel as if he’s worthy of you. Of course, while you are laughing at him, you should also do everything you can to break into his iPhone.
Music 101
Enter Sandman
On August 17, 1991, Metallica blew the minds of an estimated 1.6 million fans in Moscow playing their signature hit. AC/DC, Motley Crue, the Black Crowes and Queensryche (“a source close to Queensryche”….that’s for you, Jeff B.) were also on the bill for this Monsters of Rock show. This song was released in 1991 and only made it to No. 18 on the Billboard singles chart, but as the band’s eponymous album, Metallica, sold 22 million copies, who was buying the single? At the time the album Metallica was released, drummer Lars Ulrich was the only member of the band who felt that this song should be the first single. He had to persuade his bandmates to come to his side. It has since become one of the most recognizable rock songs of all time.
Just drink in the size of that throng. Electric guitar is a universal language.
Remote Patrol
Atletico Madrid at FC Barcelona
2:45 p.m. FS 1
Grizzlies at Warriors
10:30 p.m. ESPN
Jazz at Lakers
10:30 p.m. ESPN2
Not only has Messi gone 362 match minutes since his last goal, he has now taken to blatantly hands-balling it during matches.
Messi, Curry, Kobe. Repeat after me: Messi, Curry, Kobe. The world’s greatest soccer player in a UEFA Champions League quarterfinal (Barca leads 2-1 in aggregate goals heading into the match), then the world’s greatest basketball player chasing a 73-win season (yes, I was wrong), and then the world’s greatest chucker playing his final game.
An Entirely Happy 69th birthday to the one and only David Letterman…
Starting Five
“If you like pina coladas/And getting caught in the rain/If you’re not into yoga/And you have half a brain…”
1. Chuck Roast
“A review of last night’s episode of Better Call Saulas soon as I shovel Fran’s driveway in Cedar Crest…as soon as I’m finished filming my Ruppert Holmes documentary (“Isn’t he British?”)….as soon as I watch ‘Diagnosis: Murder’ between 10:18 a.m. and 10:35 a.m.”….as soon as I hijack an ice cream truck on a two-lane highway to Socorro….”
What a great penultimate episode of the season, and as Sepinwall notes, both Jimmy and Mike head down the Walter White Trail of Unintended Dire Consequences. Mike’s hijacking of Hector Salamanca’s “ice cream truck” gets a Good Samaritan killed, while Jimmy’s valiant (but illegal) method of getting Mesa Verde back as Kim’s client (everyone knows it’s 1261 Rosella Drive) may have resulted in Chuck’s death or at least his slipping into a coma. One more week remains….
2. Round and Round
Richards breaks the tape….
We’ll have more in Newsweek later today, but on Saturday at the Armory at a 168th Street in upper Manhattan (i.e., Harlem), world records were set in the indoor marathon. Malcolm Richards of San Francisco ran the 211 laps of the 200-meter track in 2:21, while Allie Kieffer set a new women’s mark in 2:44. They both also broke unofficial world records for overcoming tedium.
3. The Other Curry
The 6’2″ Curry has had a breakout month….
The Sacramento Kings, a team based in northern California (unless they’ve moved Sacramento) defeated the Phoenix Suns last night, 105-101. The Kings leading scorer in the game with 20 points was Seth Curry, who just happens to be the younger brother of the world’s best basketball player (come at me, Susie B.!).
The younger Curry, after not having a single 20-point game this season (if not ever in his career), has scored 20 or more points four times in the past fortnight. What up with that?
4. Leicester Atop The Table
Believe it or not, this is the top scorer on the EPL’s top team
Arguably the year’s most amazing sports story is taking place across the pond: Leicester City is atop the English Premier League. The Foxes have lost just three of 33 matches (21-9-3) and have a seven-point lead over Tottenham Hotspur with five games remaining (three points for a win, 1 for a draw). Jamie Vardy, above, is second in the EPL with 21 goals but what is more impressive is that Leicester City has put together five consecutive clean sheets (shutouts).
The club, which has been around since 1884, has NEVER finished atop England’s top league. There are no playoffs in EPL, so it’s just a matter of holding off Tottenham. Tickets for Leicester’s final home game, May 7 versus Everton, are being sold on the secondary market for $21,300 per pair. See, everyone loses interest when there’s no playoff.
5. Watts Up!
If there is a magazine cover-to-film ratio meter, Naomi must have the highest score out there….
If you have travelled lately or just passed a magazine rack, this magazine cover featuring Aussie actress Naomi Watts may have caught your eye (not that it did mine….). Watts, 47, has a prolific IMDB page since co-starring in Mulholland Drive in 2001, but she may be even more prolific as a magazine cover girl. I counted no fewer than 70 magazine covers she’s graced in the past decade or so. She’s like the Michael Jordan of fashion/women’s magazines.
(This is easily my newsiest item of the week)
Kobe Watch
My bad yesterday: Last night was Bryant’s penultimate game, in Oklahoma City. Mamba scored 13 points. Career average is now 24.9687 points per game. Of course, if you only use three digits, that still rounds up to 25.0, as the good folks at Basketball-Reference.com reminded me yesterday.
Music 101
Brass In Pocket
The ’80s first female rock star? Chrissie Hynde, Ohio-born lead singer of the English band The Pretenders. She was as cool as Deborah Harry, and could play the guitar as well. This, the band’s breakout hit, reached No. 13 on the Billboard charts. She was already 28 when this tune hit.
Meanwhile, Scarlett Johansson did a pretty fair job covering this song at a karaoke bar in Tokyo a couple of decades later.
Remote Patrol
Champions League: Paris St. Germain at Manchester City
2:30 p.m. FS 1
Fear the Zlatan (Ibrahimovic), Man City fans….
The English side will be without their top scorer, Vincent Kompany, a Belgian player whom autocorrect loathes. These two drew, 2-2, in the first leg of their quarterfinal match in Paris.
A Medium Happy 42nd to everyone’s favorite Cylon, Tricia Helfer (yet another Canadian)
Starting Five
Billy Payne: Adding insult to infamy
Spieth Easy
Beware the Quadruple Bogeyman
Willet Happen? Yes, et Will
Jordan Spieth shot a fourth straight birdie on the 9th hole yesterday, making the turn at seven-under-par for the Masters and leading Clay Travis to tweet, “It’s over. Our Spieth +850 futures ticket is cashing. Go buy $20 pants, tshirts and visors at OutkicktheCoverage.com.”
And at that moment, I completely started rooting for fate and the field to take over. And they did. Spieth took a seven at Amen Corner (anagram: Mean Corner), hitting two into the drink, and Englishman Danny “I am Reek” Willett burst through the door.
The ’86 Masters featured Jack Nicklaus’ glorious run for his final green jacket.
The ’96 Masters featured Greg Norman’s momentous collapse.
And now the ’16 Masters has another memorable meltdown, Spieth’s. And then he had to place the green jacket on WIllett, not once but twice.
2. Spirit of ’72
Oh yeah, and the Spurs will not become the first NBA team to finish a season 41-0 at home. See ya in the Western Conference finals, gang.
Give the Golden State Warriors this: They earned it. With the tank half-filled at best, the Dubs won back-to-back games this weekend in Memphis and San Antonio. The 100-99 win versus the Grizz was their first one-point game of the season, and they had to outscore Memphis 8-2 in the final 2:24 to secure it.
Last night’s 92-86 win at San Antonio—it was over when Stephen Curry hit that one-handed desperation bank shot from 18 feet—was their first victory in that city since 1997, a span of 33 losses: “Nobody but NOBODY beats the Golden State Warriors 34 times in a row,” coach Steve Kerr joked.
Curry scored 37 last night, and that was minus the 60-foot shot he sank at the end of the third quarter that looked as if it came before the buzzer (the refs said no and I never saw a replay on NBA TV).
So now they’re 72-9. They’ve tied the ’96 Bulls with one game to play, and they’ve got two nights off before hosting Memphis. That one will be off the hook (and to think GSW lost at the Lakers earlier this season, the league’s second-worst team, a defeat that might have cost them the record).
3. Will….and Grace
Smith was a key part of the Saints’ only Super Bowl champion team, and an Ohio State national championship team. He also made one Pro Bowl.
Former Ohio State Buckeye and New Orleans Saint defensive end Will Smith was shot and killed after a rear-end collision in the city’s Garden District late Saturday night. Smith, 34, leaves a wife and three children. The man who allegedly shot him, Cardell Hayes, 30, is a former four-star lineman who at 6’5″ and about three bills is actually larger than Smith (cue the 10,000-word Gary Smith think piece about where lives go wrong and right and how they intersect).
People will talk about gun violence and to a degree, they are correct. Gun advocates will admonish me for saying that, disingenuously acting as if I or anyone else saying so believe guns are the entirety of the problem, which we all know that they are not (but they’ll say that to show us how misguided we are, because they don’t want to even give one inch on this debate; Guys: No one is saying that).
Hayes
People will also talk about the lack of respect for life, and again, to a degree they are correct. But it’s much, much simpler than that. Saints quarterback Drew Brees spoke to Peter King of SI/MMQB last night, and he nailed it: “The way human beings treat other human beings…”
In the end, it’s about decency toward your fellow man. I was on an NJ Transit train when I heard about Smith’s murder. In the seat behind me, someone was carrying on a loud cellphone conversation about absolutely nothing. Two rows over, young adults were talking entirely too loud and sprinkling their conversation with F-bombs and worse. Not enough people remember that they are small parts of a larger community as opposed to a universe unto itself. Not enough people just try to treat others, especially strangers, with a modicum of respect, the same respect that they demand that they be afforded (Find me someone talking about how they don’t get no respect and I’ll show you someone who probably respects nothing but themselves).
This photo of Smith (far right) with a former NOPD officer (far left) was taken an hour before his death.
Hayes, driving an orange Hummer (straight from the Better Call Saulprop dept?), rear-ended Smith, driving a Mercedes. Two large men disembarked from their vehicles late on a Saturday night. Alcohol was likely involved. Chances are nobody went Ned Flanders on the other. And now one man is dead, one family is destroyed, and another man will spend the rest of his life in jail. Really, was all of that worth being THE MAN?
4. What’s HIS Story?
Trot, trot, trot….
Meet Trevor Story of the Colorado Rockies. The rookie shortstop blasted seven home runs in his first six Major League Baseball games, a feat that has never before been done (he’s on pace for like a 190-home run season, which should break McGwire’s Maris’s record).
Story’s first two MLB homers came off former Cy Young Award winner Zack Greinke. Four of Story’s home runs measured 425 feet or beyond, so yeah, Troy Tulowitzki, they don’t miss you in the Mile High City. Story, 23, is from Irving, Texas, and he was also the Irving H.S. quarterback. That’s about all we know at the moment, outside the fact that he is now practiced in the home run trot.
5. SpaceX Sticks The Landing
Maybe because they did it late Friday afternoon, it didn’t receive the attention that it deserved. At 4:36 p.m. or so, Elon Musk’s company launched a rocket from Cape Canaveral, then stuck the landing on the rocket part of it on a barge in the Atlantic Ocean, which puts anything Nadia Comaneci or Olga Korbut ever did to shame. Slow clap for Mr. Musk, who the week before unveiled the relatively affordable Tesla Model 3. He’s our latest Steve Jobs, if you are not paying attention.
Seriously: Watch that video! No special effects. That happened, and not in a Star Warsflick. Astounding.
Kobe Watch
The Mamba went for 35 points in his penultimate game (a doff of the cap to you, sir). You can do the maths for the career average yourself:
Kobe is also shooting .354 from the field, which is not only the worst FG percentage in the NBA this season, but would be the worst, as far as we know, in more than 55 years.
Music 101
Do Ya (The Move song)
The British 70’s supergroup ELO is not in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, which is more of a discredit to the latter’s integrity than to the former’s artistry. This 1976 song, though, definitely belongs in the TURN IT UP! Hall of Fame. The tune was originally written by ELO frontman Jeff Lynne for his previous band, The Move, five years earlier. Then soft-rocker Todd Rundgren abducted it and fans thought it was a Todd Rundgren tune. So ELO re-recorded this version, adding face-melting power chords, so that no one would be misled. It only reached No. 93 on the Billboard charts, but I promise you, FM deejays at the time loved this song, and with good reason.
Remote Patrol
Jackie Robinson
9 p.m. PBS
Robinson died in 1972 at the too young age of 53.
The two-part Ken Burns series on No. 42, the man who broke baseball’s color barrier, begins tonight. Robinson made his MLB debut on April 15, 1947. Not that it matters that much, but Robinson batted .311 in his 10 MLB seasons and twice led the NL in stolen bases (and once in batting average, with a .342).
A Medium Happy birthday to Taylor Kitsch/Tim Riggins, who is now old enough to run for president (Except he’s Canadian() (Like that matters any more)
Starting Five
Els carded a 9 on the first hole of the Masters
LO-Els*
*The judges will also accept ‘Putt-putt-putt-putt-putt-putt-Golf’
Quintuple bogey?!? On the very first hole of the Masters? Ernie Els, who has twice finished as a runner-up at Augusta, reached the green on the par-four hole in three shots. His try for par was just 2 feet short…then he putted six more times. Never seen anything like that in a round I was not involved in.
Els was two under the rest of the round to finish 8 over par.
Thank you, Ernie, for making golf more accessible to millions of us.
2. Summitt’s Nadir
How much trouble are you in? No, wider.
Welcome to the “Hate To Say I Told You So” portion of today’s program. Doesn’t matter if you’re Tyler Summitt or Luke Russert or even Mike Golic, Jr., when you are given a job that is way above your station, in terms of experience, the rest of us roll our eyes (okay, I roll my eyes) because there are dozens if not hundreds of people out there who have worked far longer, and are most likely far better, than you are. And you just don’t appreciate what you have. You can’t.
Anyway, a reminder that Kim Mulkey played at Louisiana Tech, won a title there as a player, and then was an assistant there under Leon Barmore for 15 years. Then La. Tech gives her the head coaching job when Barmore retires, but only a four-year contract, because a five-year deal would give her 20 years on the job and automatically get her a tate pension. And they wanted to make her prove herself before they gave her that. So Mulkey told them to stuff it, went to Baylor, and won two national championships instead. And La. Tech hired Tyler Summitt…
Finally, you just know that everyone held this news until after Tuesday night’s natty game….
Alice Cooper knew enough to perform with non-venomous vipers
4. Will the Padres Score?
Yangervis Solarte has San Diego’s only extra-base hit, a double, thus far on the season. He’s batting .200
San Diego plays at Colorado this afternoon (4:30 p.m.), which is known as a hitter-friendly ballpark, which is good. Because in three games with the Los Angeles Dodgers at Petco Park earlier this week, the friars failed to plate a run. They’re 0-3 with a minus-25 run differential thus far.
As team announcer Dick Enberg would say, “Oh my.”
Granted, the Dodgers have a few pitchers who can throw…
5. Where In The World?
Hint: Some call this the prettiest restaurant in the world
Yesterday: Perth, Australia
Reserves
If you were still awake at the conclusion of last night’s Spurs-Warriors contest, you were treated to this. Also, kudos to Shaq for bringing the energy to a set where Derek Fisher and Brent Barry were wooden (and both declined to ride the bull).
Also…I laughed. Kudos to Bomani for being THAT bold on his (I believe) debut on “Mike & Mike.” Probably ruffled Norby’s feathers some. Be careful, Bo. Remember a dude named Bill Simmons?
Music 101
Tomorrow
Is Silverchair the greatest Australian grunge band (they sound exactly like Alice In Chains), or are they just a one-hit wonder that leaves us wondering why they never capitalized on this early Nineties hit? Or both?
At the time this song was recorded, in 1994, the band members were all 15 years and in high school. The following year they opened for Red Hot Chili Peppers and Ramones. So they probably got more chicks in high school than we did.
Remote Patrol
Warriors at Spurs
Sunday
7 p.m. NBA TV
Let’s assume Golden State wins tomorrow night in Memphis. Then they’ll be 71-9 heading into this game at AT&T Center, while the Spurs will be 39-0 at home. No matter who wins, one team keeps its hopes alive for an historic streak. Golden State would need to beat Memphis at home after two full days off, on Wednesday. San Antonio would need to beat OKC at home on Tuesday.
