by John Walters
A Medium Happy birthday to Taylor Kitsch/Tim Riggins, who is now old enough to run for president (Except he’s Canadian() (Like that matters any more)
Starting Five
Els carded a 9 on the first hole of the Masters
LO-Els*
*The judges will also accept ‘Putt-putt-putt-putt-putt-putt-Golf’
Quintuple bogey?!? On the very first hole of the Masters? Ernie Els, who has twice finished as a runner-up at Augusta, reached the green on the par-four hole in three shots. His try for par was just 2 feet short…then he putted six more times. Never seen anything like that in a round I was not involved in.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwCuL1xbxIU
Els was two under the rest of the round to finish 8 over par.
Thank you, Ernie, for making golf more accessible to millions of us.
2. Summitt’s Nadir
How much trouble are you in? No, wider.
Welcome to the “Hate To Say I Told You So” portion of today’s program. Doesn’t matter if you’re Tyler Summitt or Luke Russert or even Mike Golic, Jr., when you are given a job that is way above your station, in terms of experience, the rest of us roll our eyes (okay, I roll my eyes) because there are dozens if not hundreds of people out there who have worked far longer, and are most likely far better, than you are. And you just don’t appreciate what you have. You can’t.
So Summitt, who is married, resigns from Louisiana Tech, from a head coaching job he got at age 24, for apparently having an improper relationship with one of his own players. Okay, yes, I went down the roster of La. Tech players last night to see who I thought it might be. So sue me.
Anyway, a reminder that Kim Mulkey played at Louisiana Tech, won a title there as a player, and then was an assistant there under Leon Barmore for 15 years. Then La. Tech gives her the head coaching job when Barmore retires, but only a four-year contract, because a five-year deal would give her 20 years on the job and automatically get her a tate pension. And they wanted to make her prove herself before they gave her that. So Mulkey told them to stuff it, went to Baylor, and won two national championships instead. And La. Tech hired Tyler Summitt…
Finally, you just know that everyone held this news until after Tuesday night’s natty game….
3. Surrender, Cobra
Here’s the real story on why/how Indonesian pop singer Irma Bule was bitten onstage by a king cobra Sunday night and died. Bottom line: snake dancers are paid more.
Alice Cooper knew enough to perform with non-venomous vipers
4. Will the Padres Score?
Yangervis Solarte has San Diego’s only extra-base hit, a double, thus far on the season. He’s batting .200
San Diego plays at Colorado this afternoon (4:30 p.m.), which is known as a hitter-friendly ballpark, which is good. Because in three games with the Los Angeles Dodgers at Petco Park earlier this week, the friars failed to plate a run. They’re 0-3 with a minus-25 run differential thus far.
As team announcer Dick Enberg would say, “Oh my.”
Granted, the Dodgers have a few pitchers who can throw…
5. Where In The World?
Hint: Some call this the prettiest restaurant in the world
Yesterday: Perth, Australia
Reserves
If you were still awake at the conclusion of last night’s Spurs-Warriors contest, you were treated to this. Also, kudos to Shaq for bringing the energy to a set where Derek Fisher and Brent Barry were wooden (and both declined to ride the bull).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpN-JKKHa7w
Also…I laughed. Kudos to Bomani for being THAT bold on his (I believe) debut on “Mike & Mike.” Probably ruffled Norby’s feathers some. Be careful, Bo. Remember a dude named Bill Simmons?
Music 101
Tomorrow
Is Silverchair the greatest Australian grunge band (they sound exactly like Alice In Chains), or are they just a one-hit wonder that leaves us wondering why they never capitalized on this early Nineties hit? Or both?
At the time this song was recorded, in 1994, the band members were all 15 years and in high school. The following year they opened for Red Hot Chili Peppers and Ramones. So they probably got more chicks in high school than we did.
Remote Patrol
Warriors at Spurs
Sunday
7 p.m. NBA TV
Let’s assume Golden State wins tomorrow night in Memphis. Then they’ll be 71-9 heading into this game at AT&T Center, while the Spurs will be 39-0 at home. No matter who wins, one team keeps its hopes alive for an historic streak. Golden State would need to beat Memphis at home after two full days off, on Wednesday. San Antonio would need to beat OKC at home on Tuesday.
I can’t decide if I’m happy or sad that the Dubs won last night & still have a chance at the record. On the other hand, that final game with the Spurs SHOULD be AWESOME…if Pop doesn’t sit his starters.
Meanwhile, the Cavs only need to win 1 of their final 3 games to clinch the #1 seed in the East. 🙂 Sure, you don’t NEED to be the #1 seed to make it to the Finals &/or win the whole thing but why not make it a little easier on yourselves?
Thanks for addressing my question the other day, but I’m not sure Wiggins would have helped the Cavs in the Playoffs last year or if he’s ready to be a playoff dominator right now. Yes, maybe in a few more years, Wiggins will be a better player than Love &/or make a more dominating Big 3 with Sweet Pea & Kyrie. But, TIME is of the essence here & I’m sure LBJ & the team thought in the summer of 2014 that Love would be better right away & in the 1st 3 years. Personally, I think Kyrie is the weak link in this grouping. Not that he can’t play great on occasion but I don’t think he seems totally committed to winning RIGHT NOW & DOING WHATEVER IT TAKES. I hope I’m wrong.
I’m actually far more concerned now than I was last year as I wasn’t even sure the Cavs would make it past the Bulls &/or Hawks in last year’s playoffs* & I expected them to be great THIS year. I figured the 1st year of LBJ’s “Return” was the gimme- the learning experience with not too much expected & then years 2 & 3 were when they’d have to win a championship. Time is running out! Who knew the Dubs would be even better than LAST year?! I’m betting if the Cavs don’t win the title in June (will be difficult but NOT impossible!), some big changes will be occur with the Cavs line-up. Which means LBJ would have to start AGAIN with a new core to get that elusive Cleveland championship. And as much as he’s MY FAVORITE basketball player of ALL TIME, even he can’t defeat Father Time & Mother Nature (as he’s said himself many times), so the TIME IS NOW!
*In my defense, I thought this BEFORE the playoffs started. BEFORE I saw how LeBron ratcheted up his play even more than he did with the Heat in the playoffs. And before I saw how Delly, TT, Shump & even J.R. would step up. The fact that just 7 guys (we had basically no playable bench by the Finals) almost beat the Dubs last year still amazes me.
Also, I really enjoyed your Newsweek pieces on Geno. And not that they were puff pieces but Geno should now send YOU a bottle of Cristal or Dom. 🙂
Poor Ernie.
And finally, “nobody likes being around” Steve Wynn…
Two more things –
Sookie, Sookie! SOOKIE! 🙂
On Bomani’s Wednesday radio show, he ranted for quite some time about the Cleveland Indian mascot/logo. As I only hear him for about 25-30 minutes on my drive home, he may have been ranting for an hour before I turned it on & for an hour after. It’s possible/probable he mentioned the ‘Caucasian shirt’ then &/or his intention to wear it the next day on M&M. I thought the shirt was funny.
Well, I lied. One more thing, I’ve been forgetting to ask you about this the past 2 weeks – did you watch “The Boat Race” on Sunday 3/26? I figure since you were involved in that sport you may watch every year. I’ve seen it either Live/taped on TV the past 5-6 years & THIS year’s was quite shocking to me. I guess it’s ridiculous not to think those boats could actually sink during the race, but I’d never even thought about it. Till that Sunday! The conditions were so rough this year that the Cambridge women’s boat almost went under. Anyhoo, I rooted for Cambridge this year (I alternate) & while the women had trouble, the men won in an exciting race.
Also, Paris-Roubaix (supposed to be VERY MUDDY this year) has on occasion been shown LIVE on either NBC or NBCSN. Alas, this year’s will be taped. But at least it’s a 3 hr version. GO SPARTACUS!