A Medium Happy 69th to a real wild child, Iggy Pop (who looks a little like yesterday’s birthday boy i n this space)
Change For a $20
It’s all about the Tubmans….
The U.S. Treasury announced that it will be putting a black woman on the $20 bill, the surest indication yet that paper money will soon be a thing of the past. Andrew Jackson: Never got a musical.
2. Pipa Gone-For-Long Shocking?
Pipa Out! At least until next week, we hear.
On Tuesday it was announced that Michael Strahan would be leaving Live in September to go full-time at GMA. And then we learned that Kelly Ripa, a.k.a. Pipa, found out at about the same time we did, so she didn’t show up for work yesterday. Give ’em hell, Pipa!
Got some things to attend to today, so this may be all I can provide. You may prefer it that way.
Music 101
Funk #49
The Cleveland-based James Gang was a three-piece band, highlighted by the tasty guitar licks of future Eagles member Joe Walsh. Because there were just three members, Walsh played both lead and rhythm guitar on this track, which was released in 1970.
A Medium Happy 52nd to Andy Serkis. Love the precious.
Starting Five
Is that Tracy Flick (Reese Witherspoon) or Hillary Clinton? Does it matter?
Dem and Dumber
Finally, after yesterday’s New York 2016 presidential primaries, the resignation is setting in (yes, it’s no accident I used “2016”, “presidential” and “resignation” in the same sentence). Donald Trump got 60% of the vote (“HUUUUUGE”) and Hillary Clinton received 58% of the vote.
You and I may have flirted with “Feel the Bern or “I’m OKasich, You’re OKasich” (I made that one up; they shoulda used it), but this election is going to be the 1999 movie Election: the smart, anal-retentive girl who has been vying for the job since the first day of high school, if not sooner, and the big, dumb jock whose blatant pandering doesn’t seem to bother anyone. I don’t know who is Matthew Broderick’s character in this scenario.
Get ready for Hillary versus Donald. “Benghazi” versus “7-11.”
2. The Voyeur’s Motel
Spying on guests was a Foos’ errand….
So yesterday I was talking to Keith Arnold on our new podcast, “Blown Coverage” ( <–That sounded like a plug; was that a plug?), and he told me about this story by legendary journalist Gay Talese that appears in the new issue of The New Yorker. It’s the true story of Gerald Foos, who erected a motel in which he created peepholes, etc., so that he could covertly spy on couples having sex. Of course, the situation deteriorated from there.
By the way, if you have read “Devil In The White City,” which is also being turned into a movie starring Leo (speaking of Sam Mendes, indirectly….Kate W.), you know that its central character also builds a motel of sorts and creates secret passageways and peepholes with a much more sinister clandestine purpose in mind. And that, like Talese’s tale, it’s based on a true story.
I have yet to read Talese’s piece, but thanks to the miracle of the inter webs you can steal itread it for free here.
3. It Lacks Cat Class, And It Lacks Cat Style
The new Jaguar looks like just another alley cat
That’s the 2017 Jaguar XE, unveiled earlier this week. It looks a lot like a Buick.
This is the 1965 Jaguar E, which is suitable for international espionage (“Yeah, baby! Yeah!“)
4. Samso-nite
Samso has it all figured out….
Good story on CBS This Morning about a small farming island off the coast of Denmark, Samso, that is way ahead of the curve on renewable energy. The farmers there purchased their own wind turbines and put solar panels atop their barns. The island is green, the energy is all renewable, and everyone is doing well. It’s kind of like that island in Wicker Man without the annual human sacrifice (unless they just failed to report that). If you can get past the eyesore of the turbines, it’s pretty sweet.
Don’t think of them as turbines, think of them as slalom posts for water skiers
Related: March was the 11th consecutive month that was the hottest for that month in recorded history. So there’s that.
5. Spence For Hire*
Spence finished 9th in her marathon debut
*If you’re hiring people to run marathons, which, why would you be doing that?
The Boston Marathon was run on a lovely day two days ago. Mississippi State football coach Dan Mullen ran it, even though he did not need a qualifying time, because $$$$ (yes, it was for charity, but so what? Just write a freakin’ check. The rest of us have to actually finish a previous marathon under a certain time to get into the race.). Mullen ran a 4:28. The accepted time for a man his age, 42, simply to qualify is to have run a previous marathon in 3:12 or under.
ANYWAAAAAAAY, the top three male finishers were Ethiopians and none of us know them. The top two female finishers were Ethiopian and, you know, ibid. The only American who finished in the single digits was Neely Spence Gracey, a woman who finished 9th. You may, if you’re a running fan, recognize that name because he father (and her college coach at Shippensburg U. in Pa.) is former Olympic marathoner Steve Spence.
For Spence, 26, who ran a 2;35, it was her marathon debut. But she was actually born on Marathon Monday in 1990, and on that day Steve finished 19th at Boston. Two years later he won the Olympic Marathon Trials in ’92, but did not medal in Barcelona.
Music 101
Run
Many bands actually seem annoyed when their fans sing along to their most popular songs (hello, Counting Crows). But here, playing at the 2009 Oxegen festival in County Kildare, Ireland, Snow Patrol lead singer Gary Lightbody seems genuinely moved that the crowd knows all the words to the band’s breakout hit (look at the grin on his face as the crowd cries out the chorus, or is he smiling at the irony of the lyric “Even if you cannot hear my voice?“). Then again, they are from Northern Ireland. The band flew in from Italy, where it was on tour with U2, to perform at this event. Feels as if it was worth it. Note: Lightbody had a cameo in season 3 of Game Of Thrones, much of which is filmed in Northern Ireland.
The song hit No. 15 on the US Billboard chart in autumn of 2004.
Remote Patrol
Dr. Mabuse, The Gambler
8 p.m-12:45 a.m. TCM
Should you actually watch a silent film made in Germany in 1922 that is more than four hours long? I dunno: should you watch the Eastern Conference playoffs? Anyway, this is purportedly a classic, included on those “Lists of Films To See Before You Die.” Or is it “Lists of Films To See When You Want To Die?” Anyway, it comes highly recommended.
A Medium Happy 37th to Kate Hudson, who has been upping her Watt-age lately. You’ll always be Penny Lane to us….
Starting Five
I hope everyone in Houston owns Samsung Galaxy phones….
1. Houston Nuts
An estimated 240 billion gallons of rain water fell on Houston on Sunday and Monday, leaving much of the fourth-largest city in America under water. Five people are dead, all of them found in partially or fully submerged vehicles. Now wait until the homeless water moccasins are seen floating past.
Can horsies swim?
No word yet on how this will impact the Warriors-Rockets series, Games 3 and 4 of which are scheduled later this week in Houston. Why not hold them in LA or Phoenix? Do the Rockets even care about playing?
2. FRINGS BACK
Wouldn’t it just be easier to slip some ricin into Hector’s Splenda packet?
Someone, I don’t know who, figured out before last night’s season finale that the first letter of the titles of the 10 episodes of season two of Better Call Saulwere an anagram for “FRINGS BACK.” And Vince Gilligan pretty much copped to it on Talking Saulafter the episode. So I think we can reasonably surmise who scrawled “DON’T” on a piece of paper and left it on Mike’s windshield. For trivia buffs, that was mesquite wood that was left to jam the horn.
Elsewhere, Chuck’s jealousy of Jimmy is now seen as the impetus for his hatred of him. And Chuck out-Slippin’ Jimmys Jimmy in the season’s final scene. This will also cause collateral damage for Ernesto, who lied to save Jimmy’s bacon. Our hero does have moxie; his Achilles heel is his loyalty to his big brother.
Space Blanket Oddity
This show just keeps getting better. Hoping more viewers are finding it. It alternates between high comedy (“I want a coffee, too, but no cream”), deadly Breaking Bad moments, and also the most primal emotions in terms of relationships. Vince Gilligan is now responsible for two of the best shows of Peak TV.
Quick Note: “Gimme Jimmy!” is every bit as good a catch phrase as “Better Call Saul.”
Quick Note 2: The season finale of BCS featured very little of Kim Wexler (Rhea Seehorn), and the season finale of Vinyl had zero of Devon (Olivia Wilde). The leading ladies got pushed aside.
Quick Note 3: How much better of a show would Talking Saul be if its producers/Chris Hardwick were not so obsesses with catering to short-attention span millennials (and non-millennials)? The show is so frenetic and in debt to its quizzes, reader polls, etc., that it never settles down long enough for some serious discussion. Last night Jonathan Banks, who plays Mike, attempted to briefly hijack the show by opining on the nature of brothers and forgiveness, and you could tell he really had something to say, and all Hardwick did was stand up and say, “I’m going to give you a hug.” What a missed opportunity by both Hardwick and the show. And we know he’s more intelligent than that. It’s too bad he doesn’t trust his audience or his gut. That could’ve been an actual moment.
Quick Note 4: Predictions for Season 3: Chuck uses the tape to blackmail Jimmy into agreeing to change his name professionally in exchange for not pursuing felony charges. Gus introduces himself to Mike, suggests they work together behind the scenes.
A Grammy, a Pulitzer and now a boatload of Tonys on the way soon
Not unlike the hero of his play, Lin-Manuel Miranda is a New Yorker whose family originated in a tropical island. Also, he is a gifted and prolific writer. Yesterday the Broadway musical won a Pulitzer Prize for drama (Ron Chernow’s tome, Hamilton, from which Miranda drew inspiration, never won the Pulitzer).
I have thus become inspired to write my own musical based on the life of a non-presidential political power broker. Say hello to “Stephanopoulos.”
“George Stephanopoulos/My name is George Stephanopoulos
I’ll tell the Clintons ‘I’m on top of this’/Just you wait, just wait”
4. Villains of Round One
Steven Adams will not stop morphing his look until he is cast in an episode of “Narcos”
The NBA playoffs began last night: a home team, Oklahoma City, lost. A few first-round villains thus far: Steven Adams (who came a fraction of a second away from making the game-winning putback; hello, St. Joe’s?), Patrick Beverly of Houston, LeBron James of Cleveland (just seeing if Susie B. is reading), etc.
I know this is an annual whine, but can we agree that the NBA playoffs are an interminable trudge and slog, assuaged only by the presence of the “Inside the NBA” crew? The entire affair should be at least 3 weeks briefer. Best-of-five first two rounds, then best-of-seven last two rounds.
5. Canada Dry
The ’93 Canadiens were the last Canada-based club to hoist Lord Stanley’s Cup (though it is not being hoisted here)
Overlooked here (as we overlook everything hockey), but there are no Canadian clubs in the 16-team NHL Stanley Cup playoffs. Seven of the NHL’s teams are from north of the border, as are more than half its skaters, but for the first time in since 1969-70, no Canadian team is in the playoffs.
If you include Buffalo, which is almost Canada, that’s all eight teams from Canadian, hockey-mad cities not vying for Lord Stanley’s Cup. And for the 23rd year in a row, a Canadian club will not win the thing.
Maybe Canada needs to dump Justin Trudeau and install notorious winner Donald Trump as its prime minister?
Music 101
Los Angeles
Unlike most cool trends, punk rock started out on the East Coast and eventually made its way west in the form of the band X. The band’s 1980 debut album, “Los Angeles,” was recently named the ninth-best punk rock album (“of all time,” not that they were releasing many punk albums in the 1400s) by Rolling Stone. That’s spouses John Doe and Exene Cervenka on vocals.
Remote Patrol
The Night Manager
10 p.m. AMC
I have no ideas if this will be any good, but the reviews of this six-part spy thriller miniseries have been stellar and as a frequent viewer of AMC, I’ve seen the promos dating back to when Ben Carson and Marco Rubio were still running for president. Besides, Hugh Laurie is good in everything he does and British people are smarter than we are with better accents. We just do food better than they do.
A Medium Happy 29th to Rosie Huntington-Whitely, who maybe should’ve been wearing a seat belt in Mad Max: Fury Road
Starting Five
Leonardo Ulloa after scoring the equalizer in the 95th minute
1 Anarchy in the U.K.
Note: Jamie Vardy, the leading scorer in the EPL this season for Leicester City, the leading club in the UK this year, boots in a magnificent strike in the first half versus West Ham United.
Note: Vardy is sent off in the second half for flopping (imagine this ever happening in the NBA, to the league’s leading scorer).
Vardy’s flop earned him a second yellow, which equals a red. Buh bye, Jamie.
Note: West Ham scores to goals after the 83rd minute, against a depleted Foxes squad of 10 men (you go with 10 after someone gets a red card, as Vardy did), to go up 2-1 late.
Final Note: With less than 20 seconds remaining in stoppage time, the ultimate touch foul is called against West Ham (I guess the term “makeup call” applies on either side of the pond). Leicester gets a penalty kick, scores, and secures a draw.
Some doors should remain closed. The Guns n’ Roses reunion at Coachella, from all accounts, was a sad, puffy and recumbent affair as Axl Rose literally could not stand to perform (he’d broken his foot a few weeks earlier during GnR’s get-the-rust-off show in L.A.). Axl is now 54 and his voice hasn’t aged well. Tariq down in your mail room probably does a better karaoke version of “Sweet Child O’ Mine” now than Rose does.
To be fair: Slash still wields a mean axe.
Meanwhile, the journos seemed to have sharpened their knives this year to attack “Bro-achella” and the whiny, trust-fund millennials who attend the show. Oh well. I guess we’re all heading back to Bonnaroo….
3. Vinyl: Whacks Job
Vinyl: The Yid Stays In the Picture (Heyyyy, that is totally not PC)
The season finale of Vinyl was the show’s strongest reminder yet that Martin Scorcese is an executive producer, as Joey got whacked in a meeting with the godfather, Corrado Golasso, who “didn’t care much” for a certain mob film that was released that year, 1973 (yes, I know, Scorcese had nothing to do with that movie; he was busy making Mean Streets and Taxi Driver at the time).
Zac (Ray Romano) maybe shoulda got whacked, but he didn’t.
For music nerds, there was a nod to CBGB (which will rechristen itself as such next year but for now is just an East Village dive bar where Richie meets his FBI liaison and where Buds are $1) and Freddie Mercury. The season ends as the series began: with a New York Dolls show that is unavoidably interrupted just as it was catching fire.
Next season: Stay tuned for The Ramones, KISS and Patti Smith, all of whom hit the NYC scene that year.
4. Swoopes, There It Is
Oh, sit your ass down on that bench (seems to be what Swoopes’ glare here says)
Five women’s basketball players transferred after last season at Loyola of Chicago.
Ten players are requesting a transfer now.
Sheryl Swoopes (three Olympic gold medals, three WNBA MVPs, four WNBA championships, an NCAA-record 47 points in the 1993 championship game) is the Ramblers’ coach, and has been for third season. There won’t be a fourth.
5. Dotting Their Eyes
It’s not about being liberal or conservative. It’s about respecting that your adversaries have the same rights that you do.
Love this: an Ohio State administrator CALMLY but FIRMLY addresses students and lets them know that grown-ups have rights, too. AdultLivesMatter.
Music 101
Keep Yourself Alive
This was Queen‘s first single, in 1973. It’s also its first song from its first album, “Queen.” The song failed to crack the Top 100 on the charts in either the U.K. or the U.S. At the time Queen could only secure recording time in its studio between 3 a.m. and 7 a.m. because the other hours were reserved for the real bands.
Remote Patrol
Dancing With the Stars
ABC 8 p.m.
Mike and Jimmy will survive tonight’s finale. Who won’t?
I keed, I keed! It’s the Season 2 finale of Better Call Saul (10 p.m., AMC). Did Chuck die? Will Jimmy tell Kim that he watched as his brother collapsed and did not call 911? Is Howard actually a bot? Where are Mike and Hector Tulamanca headed? Stay tuned for Talking Saul at 11 p.m. immediately after….or go watch the Dubs without Stephen Curry, or go to sleep for chrissakes!
“A girl turns 19….” Medium Happy birthday to Maisie Williams, alias Arya Stark….
Starting Five
Only one of these candidates can correctly use the word “schmear” in a sentence
1 Kvetch Me If You Can
A Democratic debate was staged in Brooklyn last night and we don’t care what state Hillary purported to represent as a U.S. Senator, Bernie had home-court advantage.
It was a very outer-borough affair, as two people raised their voices to one another before finally throwing their hands up in the air and exclaiming, “Fuggedaboutit!” At one point CNN’s Wolf Blitzer chided, “”If you are both screaming at each other, the viewers won’t be able to hear either of you.”
Even with Joe Mauer in the lineup and hitting .387, the Twins have scored an MLB-low 14 runs in nine games
Minnesota is 0-9. So are the Barves. The 1991 World Series is not walking through that door this year. If you visit the Twins home page on ESPN, the top story reads, “The Twins are Bad, But the Braves are Depressing.”
See, cuz they’re not the Twins
3. Stewie Joins Sue in Seattle
From ‘A Knighting to Remember’ to “A Night to Remember’ in just 9 days
The WNBA draft was held last night (I’m assuming they did not stage it the night before out of respect for Kobe?) at the Mohegan Sun casino in southeast Connecticut and the first three players chosen were UConn Huskies: Breanna Stewart to the Seattle Storm, Moriah Jefferson to the San Antonio Silver Starts and Morgan Tuck is staying right there with the Connecticut Sun.
It is believed to be the first time any pro sport has staged a draft in which the first three players taken were all from the same team. I was really hoping someone would select Thon Maker just to stir up some sh*t.
4. Why Not The Go-Go’s?
So Rolling Stone, whose founder Jann Wenner is basically the gatekeeper of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, concedes that maybe Steve Miller had a point that more females need to be in the Hall. And so it puts out a list/slideshow of 15 women who should be considered, among them Dionne Warwick, Whitney Houston, Dolly Parton, Yoko Ono (!) and Janet Jackson. Problem, and sorry but Gene Simmons had a point, none of them are rock and roll.
You know who didn’t make RS’s list of 15? The Go-Go’s. Who were definitely female and who were definitely kick ass rock and roll. Damn, but did Belinda and the girls make high school fun… (maybe Jann is angry at Belinda for “Heaven Is a Place on Earth”?)
5. Where In The World?
Hint: probably not very safe to travel here now….
To refresh: Last week’s site was The Witchery, a restaurant located in Edinburgh, Scotland.*
*You haven’t been to Scotland yet? What are you waiting for, it’s incredible!
Music 101
Life on Mars
In the wake of David Bowie‘s death, this song has only grown in stature, and far more relatively than any of his other hits. Last month it was featured in Vinyl and recently Jimmy Fallon and Chris Martin paired up to pay tribute to Bowie with this version. Written in 1971 by Bowie and inspired by Paul Anka’s/Frank Sinatra’s “My Way,” it has been described as “a cross between a Broadway musical and a Salvado Dali painting.” Bowie filmed the video below in 1973, six years before MTV was introduced. He was always way ahead of his time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v–IqqusnNQ
Remote Patrol
Vinyl
Sunday 9 p.m. HBO
Lester and Jamie throwing shade at the Nasty Bits. Same look impossible-to-please TV critics give the show.
For the first time in at least five weekends, there are no compelling sports on TV (shush, hockey fans!). May I recommend catching up on the first season of HBO’s Vinyl so that you can be ready for Sunday’s season finale. It’s slightly uneven, but Bobby Cannavale is fantastic as Richie Finestra and I love Ato Essandoh as Lester, Richie’s long-time frenemy. This scene featuring Lester is one of the highlights of Season One.
