by John Walters

Starting Five

1 Anarchy in the U.K.

Note: Jamie Vardy, the leading scorer in the EPL this season for Leicester City, the leading club in the UK this year, boots in a magnificent strike in the first half versus West Ham United.

Note: Vardy is sent off in the second half for flopping (imagine this ever happening in the NBA, to the league’s leading scorer).

Note: West Ham scores to goals after the 83rd minute, against a depleted Foxes squad of 10 men (you go with 10 after someone gets a red card, as Vardy did), to go up 2-1 late.

Final Note: With less than 20 seconds remaining in stoppage time, the ultimate touch foul is called against West Ham (I guess the term “makeup call” applies on either side of the pond). Leicester gets a penalty kick, scores, and secures a draw.

2. Lame Of Thrones

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zWdz6oQiWE

Some doors should remain closed. The Guns n’ Roses reunion at Coachella, from all accounts, was a sad, puffy and recumbent affair as Axl Rose literally could not stand to perform (he’d broken his foot a few weeks earlier during GnR’s get-the-rust-off show in L.A.). Axl is now 54 and his voice hasn’t aged well. Tariq down in your mail room probably does a better karaoke version of “Sweet Child O’ Mine” now than Rose does.

To be fair: Slash still wields a mean axe.

Meanwhile, the journos seemed to have sharpened their knives this year to attack “Bro-achella” and the whiny, trust-fund millennials who attend the show. Oh well. I guess we’re all heading back to Bonnaroo….

3. Vinyl: Whacks Job

The season finale of Vinyl was the show’s strongest reminder yet that Martin Scorcese is an executive producer, as Joey got whacked in a meeting with the godfather, Corrado Golasso, who “didn’t care much” for a certain mob film that was released that year, 1973 (yes, I know, Scorcese had nothing to do with that movie; he was busy making Mean Streets and Taxi Driver at the time).

Zac (Ray Romano) maybe shoulda got whacked, but he didn’t.

For music nerds, there was a nod to CBGB (which will rechristen itself as such next year but for now is just an East Village dive bar where Richie meets his FBI liaison and where Buds are $1) and Freddie Mercury. The season ends as the series began: with a New York Dolls show that is unavoidably interrupted just as it was catching fire.

Next season: Stay tuned for The Ramones, KISS and Patti Smith, all of whom hit the NYC scene that year.

4. Swoopes, There It Is

Five women’s basketball players transferred after last season at Loyola of Chicago.

Ten players are requesting a transfer now.

Sheryl Swoopes (three Olympic gold medals, three WNBA MVPs, four WNBA championships, an NCAA-record 47 points in the 1993 championship game) is the Ramblers’ coach, and has been for third season. There won’t be a fourth.

5. Dotting Their Eyes

Love this: an Ohio State administrator CALMLY but FIRMLY addresses students and lets them know that grown-ups have rights, too. AdultLivesMatter.

Music 101

Keep Yourself Alive

This was Queen‘s first single, in 1973. It’s also its first song from its first album, “Queen.” The song failed to crack the Top 100 on the charts in either the U.K. or the U.S. At the time Queen could only secure recording time in its studio between 3 a.m. and 7 a.m. because the other hours were reserved for the real bands.

Remote Patrol

Dancing With the Stars

ABC 8 p.m.

I keed, I keed! It’s the Season 2 finale of Better Call Saul (10 p.m., AMC). Did Chuck die? Will Jimmy tell Kim that he watched as his brother collapsed and did not call 911? Is Howard actually a bot? Where are Mike and Hector Tulamanca headed? Stay tuned for Talking Saul at 11 p.m. immediately after….or go watch the Dubs without Stephen Curry, or go to sleep for chrissakes!