Sby John Walters

A Medium Happy 62nd to Cindy Morgan, a.k.a. Lacy Underall. “I was born to love you/I was born to lick your face/I was born to rub you/But you were born to rub me first”

A Quick Salute

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7H22q1iDOKA

Starting Five

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPf59jkPxKM

Teix Message

Red Sox and Yankees celebrating on the same field at the same time?!? Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria. Too little, too late, after that four-game sweep at Fenway two weekends ago, but the Yankees got a measure of redemption last night.

Trailing 3-0 heading into the bottom of the ninth—with only one hit, an infield number…Did Jeets return???—the Yankees scored five. Closer Craig Kimbrel walked three straight batters, walking in a run and leaving the bases loaded for Mark Teixiera, who then clouted a walk-off grand slam. It was the 409th career home run for Teix, who will retire after Sunday’s game, but the first walk-off. It’s also his second ninth-inning home run in a Yankee come-from-behind win in the past three days.

The Sawx celebrated because earlier in the ninth inning the Blue Jays blew a ninth-inning lead against the Orioles, lost 3-2, and allowed Boston to clinch the A.L. East. It’s the second time in the past five years that Boston has won the A.L. East after finishing last in the division the year before. The second time in five years! That’s wild, and a first.

In David Ortiz’s final series at Yankee Stadium, he is 0 fer 9. The win put the Yanks at 82-76, meaning for the 24th consecutive year, they’ll finish above .500.

2. Get Smart

This was the inspiration for the sneaker phone, no?

Here’s what Donald Trump said at a rally yesterday in Iowa.

Unedited, verbatim— Donald Trump on smart people at his rally in Iowa: pic.twitter.com/1HoDEpLxw1

— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) September 28, 2016

3. Tebow Time

By now, you’ve seen this. The first pitch Tim Tebow sees in the Instructional League in Port St. Lucie, Fla., he hits out. I love the way the pitcher, John Kilichowski, turns to watch the ball sail past him. Very Charlie Brown. And that dude knows he’ll live on YouTube forever now.

Music 101

Portions For Foxes

Meet Rilo Kiley, if you haven’t before. The lead singer is Jenny Lewis, and the band’s name was simply made up, although they often told interviewers they’d found the name in a Scottish sports almanac (you probably have one sitting around your house right now).  This song from 2004 helped them land gigs opening on tours for Bright Eyes and Coldplay.

4. Your Paul Harvey Moment of the Day

The wreck of the SS Central America

So I’m reading a book titled Ship Of Gold.

It’s partly about the wreck of the SS Central America, a ship that sank in a hurricane off the coast of South Carolina in 1857. Some 469 lives were lost—it’s still the largest loss of life in an American shipping disaster unrelated to war—and the ship was carrying TEN TONS of gold (it was taking pilgrims of the California Gold Rush back to their east coast homes when it sunk).

Captain Herndon

Anyway, the ill-fated captain of the ship, William Lewis Herndon, had a few years before been possibly the first American to trace a route from the source of the Amazon to the sea, and had written about it quite vividly in a book titled Exploration of the Valley of the Amazon. 

A young man in Keokuk, Iowa, was so inspired by the book that he quit his job at a print shop and decided to travel down the Mississippi to New Orleans, where he would then embark on a ship to Brazil and retrace Herndon’s route. The problem? There were no ships leaving from New Orleans to Brazil. So instead the man just became…Mark Twain.

The author, very young

And now you know…the rest of the story.

5. Blake Bolts (as opposed to Blake Bortles)

Will Barnett go juco for a year, then play at Auburn? The Cam Route? Probably not. My guess is he goes Pac-12 next.

When you’re the No. 1 team in the nation and the dude who started your season opener at quarterback bolts before the end of the season’s first month, that’s kind of a big deal, no? Alabama quarterback Blake Barnett has left Tuscaloosa. The redshirt frosh QB will transfer.

Barnett, a five-star recruit from Corona, Calif., played the opening two series against USC without much success. He was replaced by true frosh Jalen Hurts and the Tide went on to win 52-6. Handwriting, meet wall. The Tide will roll on without Barnett. It always does. Not sure why he’d leave now, though.

Remote Patrol

Easy A

Oxygen 8 p.m. (and at 10:10 p.m.)

Wanna know when Emma Stone’s cute-and-adorableness first infiltrated the screen? Here it is, a satisfying twist of Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter, which you were forced to read in high school, as Olive (Stone), becomes the most popular girl at her high school after she is mistakenly thought to be a tramp. Besides, wouldn’t you have loved your movie parents to be Stanley Tucci and Patricia Clarkson? And, oh, but doesn’t Ojai, Calif., seem like a lovely place to grow up. This is a charming film filled with charming actors.

by John Walters

A Medium Happy 48th to Naomi Watts—WHAAAAT!?! She split up from Ray Donovan?!?

Starting Five

Zaire played two snaps in Saturday’s loss to Duke, lining up as a receiver. He was sacked on one play in which he took a handoff and dropped back to pass

“Ask Me Thursday”

How much can change in one month? Not four weeks ago, Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly was not saying who his starting quarterback would be for the Sunday, Sept. 5, opener at Texas. Yesterday, on September 27, Kelly was asked how Malik Zaire was adjusting to his backup role to starter DeShone Kizer—on the same day that SI.com’s latest NFL Mock Draft declared Kizer the No. 2 overall drat pick for 2017—and Kelly’s reply, based on the fact that the Irish have yet to practice this week but will have practiced three times before he next sees the media on Thursday night, was, “Are you going to be here Thursday? Ask me Thursday.”

Kelly called Kizer’s play “unacceptable” but also said that he would start Saturday versus Syracuse

This was an easy chance for Kelly to simply say, “He’s adjusting well” or “He’s not happy, but he understands his role.” He didn’t take it. Is this 2007 all over again, where Demetrius Jones, the opening day starter, transferred before the third game, a blowout at Michigan? We’ll see. Everyone knows Zaire, the opening day starter in 2015, is not happy being a backup. Everyone also knows that Kizer will likely be the first QB taken next spring. So unless Kizer is injured, Zaire is the backup. Quitting the team now isn’t going to get Zaire on another roster next year any sooner; it would just be a gesture of spite or frustration. Stay tuned. Kelly really does not want to burn Brandon Wimbush’s redshirt. Will he eventually have to?

2. “Put Down Your Phone”

An important and insightful cover story in New York magazine by Andrew Sullivan, in which he decries the complete permeation in our society of mobile devices. One of the more effective ways the essay hammers home its point is by using classic paintings as illustrations, with one of the characters preoccupied with a cell phone. Yes!

3. Any Credit For This Guy?

Pederson has the Eagles at 3-0, with all three wins by double digits

Yesterday TBL founder Jason McIntyre tweeted out some good info about how 10 NFL teams have started out 3-0 and won all three games by two touchdowns or more. All 10 made the playoffs that season. The Philadelphia Eagles are 3-0 and have won every game by at least 14 points (granted, they’ve played two bums, the Browns and the Bears, but they did kick the Steelers’ fannies on Sunday, 34-3.

11 teams have started 3-0 and won each game by 14+ points.
All 10 have made the playoffs. 11th team? 2016 Eagles https://t.co/5MW6UjRrF6 pic.twitter.com/gD97QPPwFv

— Jason McIntyre (@jasonrmcintyre) September 27, 2016

Remember how, in the previous three years, every Eagle win or loss was a referendum on Chip Kelly’s coaching acumen? Kelly is gone now, in San Fran, but as the Eagles soar off to a 3-0 start, it’s not the Eagle coach, Doug Pederson, whose name you hear; it’s rookie QB Carson Wentz’s.

No doubt, Wentz looks as if he’s going to be the answer in Philly for a decade. But Wentz didn’t hold the Steelers to a field goal on Sunday. And how many times have you heard Pederson’s name on ESPN this month?

4. My Favorite Martians

Elon Musk yesterday said that one million humans could be living on Mars by the 2060s. Great. That still leaves TEN MILLION illegal aliens in the United States. Thanks a lot, Elon.

5. Before The Cuck  Crows Three Times…

Three quick lies from Donald Trump, all from a 12-hour window between Monday’s 9 p.m. debate and Tuesday at 9 a.m. Not saying there are not more, just here are three that are easy to expose.

1. “I never said that global warming is a hoax created by China.” Well, he did tweet it:
   2. “I was just endorsed by ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement).” No, he wasn’t. A federal agency wouldn’t endorse a presidential candidate and in fact did not. Maybe he meant Vanilla Ice? Or ISIS?
2. 3. ““I won Slate,” Trump insisted on Fox & Friends Tuesday morning. “I won Drudge in almost 90% of the vote in the poll, I won Time Magazine. I won CBS. I won every single poll other than CNN.” Except that there was no CBS poll, as CBS Chief White House Correspondent Major Garrett tweeted soon after Trump’s announcement:

On @foxandfriends @realDonaldTrump said he won a @CBSNews post-debate poll. We did not conduct a post-debate poll.

— Major Garrett (@MajorCBS) September 27, 2016

Yo, that’s just Trump, he speaks off the cuff. Great. He also lies. Or doesn’t care about the truth. You can’t do that and be my second-grade teacher. And you wanna be president?

Music 101

I Still Believe

It was quite a crowded room, in the early Eighties, the British New Wave bands room.  The Call largely got lost in the shuffle, as their lead singer was also their bassist but nowhere near as hot as Sting. They were a lot like Simple Minds, but they just made the mistake of not writing a hit song for a John Hughes movie. This 1986 song was not their most popular, but it reached No. 17 on the mainstream charts.

Remote Patrol

Documentary Now: “Parker Gail’s Location Is Everything”

IFC 10 p.m.

Bill Hader is the closest thing to Bill Murray SNL has produced since Murray’s departure, and Documentary Now is just a great way to watch him showcase his talent between films. This script, I’ve read, was largely written by John Mulaney.

by John Walters

A Medium Happy 30th to Arielle Vandenberg

Starting Five

Hillary Hammers Him at Hofstra in Hempstead

“Four-hundred pound” hackers….”I have a much better temperament than she does, I think my strongest asset, by far, is my temperament”….”That makes me smart”….”those lawsuits were settled with no admission of guilt”…”Everyone agrees that (Rosie O’Donnell) deserves it”….”I was going to say something not nice”….”I think I’ve developed good relationships over the last…little while…with African-Americans”….”Law and order”…”Sydney Blumenthal”….”Ask Sean Hannity; somebody ask Sean Hannity!”….And of course, the sniffles.

Trump’s spin doctors, from Kellyanne Conway to Mike Pence, are on the morning shows today saying that he did a good job. They’re paid to say that (so are Hillary’s, of course, except that she doesn’t really have a Kellyanne Conway—”SHE DOESN’T NEED ONE! SHE HAS THE MEDIA!”). He didn’t. Hillary Clinton won Debate I, but it’s more about that Donald Trump lost it. Dreadfully.

For an event that had Super Bowl-level ratings, this reminded me of XXVII: Dallas 52, Buffalo 17. It was close for a quarter, then the Bills imploded. Same thing at Hofstra.

2. Twitter To Join Mickey Mouse Club?

I must say, those birds from Snow White DO look familiar…

Reports out that Disney is trying to put together a bid to buy Twitter. That would be a huge add for ESPN.

Microsoft also interested. As are Google and SalesForce.com. Everyone wants to paint Tom Sawyer’s fence, apparently. It’s all driving the price of the stock up for a company that everyone agrees is an outstanding service, but just does not make any money. The stock is up more than 25% since Thursday.

Will Twitter be sold by Christmas? By Thanksgiving? By Halloween? By Columbus Day? Be the first on your block to find out by being on Twitter….

3. Miami Mourns

Gordon, following his leadoff solo shot

The Marlins returned to the field Monday, all of the players wearing jerseys that read “Fernandez, 16”, and playing with grief. Dee Gordon led off the bottom of the first with a home run, and Miami sailed to a 7-3 win against the New York Mets.

4. Can We All Just Pool Our Money and Give It To Mike Tyson?

The man with the most punchable face in America, Martin Shkreli, is finally exhibiting a sense of self-awareness. Shkreli is auctioning off a chance to punch him in the face to raise money, apparently, for the son of a friend of his who recently succumbed to cancer (the friend, not the son). The Pharma Bro is offering bidders the chance to either slap or punch him (is he stopping at just one person? Because if he really wants to raise some money…?).

My guess is that Shkreli, a real-life Barney Stinson except with none of the charm, has seen the “Slap Bet” episode of How I Met Your Mother.

5. Fly Girl

The woman on the left is Kate McWilliams, age 26. The young man on the right is Luke Elsworth, age 19. She is a pilot for EasyJet, a British carrier, and he is her co-pilot. Last week the two flew from London to Malta. McWilliams began aviation training with the junior cadets at age 13 and became a first officer, or co-pilot, at age 21. She is believed to be the youngest commercial airline pilot in the world and easily the most obvious People magazine profile subject in history.

Music 101

Feels Like The First Time

I’d largely forgotten about this 1977 song by Foreigner until Skyler Astin revived it in the Pitch Perfect riff-off. This was the first single off the band’s eponymous debut album and it climbed to No. 4 on the Billboard charts. Foreigner had a nice little run between 1977 and the mid-Eighties as the soft man’s Def Leppard.

Remote Patrol

Frontline: The Choice 2016

PBS 9 p.m.

If you are not yet fully drunk and over served on this election, this excellent program will delve further into the two candidates. They won me over on this clip alone, which includes the beat-down by Obama of Trump at the 2011 WHCD, which I said last month would lead off any documentary on Trump’s rise to power that I would do,

by John Walters

A Medium Happy 35th to Serena Williams. Now about that 23rd…

Starting Five

Fernandez and two friends perished when their boar rammed into this jetty at the mouth of Government Cut in Miami Beach

Jetty Night

Only 24 years old, Miami Marlins pitcher Jose Fernandez had already been named to two All-Star Teams and won the National League Rookie of the Year award in 2013. Early Sunday morning—a day he was regularly scheduled to pitch, a start that was moved back to today for a few reasons—he and two friends were traveling at a high rate of speed when they either failed to see or failed to properly navigate the entrance to Government Cut, the channel that connects the Atlantic Ocean to Biscayne Bay.

Gone too soon….

The Cuban emigre’s brilliance was on display in his final two starts: On September 9 he threw seven shutout innings and struck out 14 Los Angeles Dodgers while outdueling Clayton Kershaw. On September 20 he threw eight shutout innings and whiffed 12 Washington Nationals in a 1-0 win. That’s 26 strikeouts and 15 shutout innings against the  second- and third-best teams in the National League.

2. Less Miles

Miles is passing the Baton….Rouge, but to whom?

Les Miles is out at LSU. What a fun coach, and a reporter’s dream in terms of filling up a notebook. The Tigers played for two national championships in his eleven-plus seasons, winning one. He leaves with a 114-34 record.

One wonders if the replay booth had not overturned the final play of LSU’s win at Auburn Saturday night (there were at least two reasons to do so, and nearly three), if he’d still have a job this morning. Miles is 62. Either way he’ll be fine.

3. “Going To the Candidates’ Debate…”*

Mass debate fans tonight all over America….

*The judges will also accept ‘Liar, Liar.’

Perhaps Simon and Garfunkel foresaw all of this 49 years ago when their song “Mrs. Robinson” made its debut in The Graduate (the following year the tune would hit No. 1 on the Billboard charts): “Sitting on a sofa on a Sunday afternoon/Going to the candidates’ debate/Laugh about it, shout about it/When it’s time to choose/Every way you look at this, you lose...”

Of the top 20 most watched television events in American history, 18 of them are Super Bowls (future anthropologists will have a field day with this, assuming we’re not extinct). The other two programs that finished in the Top 20 were the M*A*S*H finale in 1983 (8th) and the Cheers finale in 1993 (20th). So I have some bad news for you, Sam and Diane: you’re about to be bumped down to No. 21, as ABC, CBS, FOX, NBC, CNN, MSNBC,  etc. will all air tonight’s Clinton-Trump debate from Hofstra University.

4. And He Left Us a Wonderful Beverage

Arnold Palmer, who shared a birthday with yours truly, passed away last night at the ago of 87. One of the first sports superstars of the television age, Palmer won four Masters tournaments. Only Jack Nicklaus (six) has won more at Augusta.

Palmer also is credited with inventing his eponymous drink, a half-and-half mixture of lemonade and iced tea, which is my go-to beverage on hot days at the cookoutateria (now that I’m older and appreciate how bad soda is for me…even if it is a wonderful name for George Constanza’s son).

5. Identity Versus Brand*

*The judges are also accepting “ND (Indig)Nation”

When you’re unable to leave perfect alone….

Notre Dame, a 21-point home favorite to Duke on Saturday, lost 38-35. The Irish, despite averaging more than 37 points per game, are now 1-3. The defense stinks, which is why Brian Van Gorder was fired yesterday morning.

Also yesterday, I went on a little Twitter rant about how I’m so over how Notre Dame has Disney-fied itself in the past decade or two. I talked about how I’m tired of the alma mater, I’m tired of “The Shirt,” I loathe the Campus Crossroads project that has made the stadium nearly unrecognizable, I despise FieldTurf, I hate that they eliminated the height requirement for the Irish Guard, and I’m not looking forward to the JumboTron.  I don’t understand why ushers are yelling at people to sit down and shut up as if they’re inside the library.

(This, above, just wouldn’t happen at today’s Notre Dame; the last time it was this loud was on October 15, 2005).

Notre Dame Stadium and Notre Dame game day used to be genuine. Authentic. It was like going to Fenway Park or Wrigley. No longer. Of course I was pilloried as being anti-millennial, or for failing to see that if Notre Dame just had better players, they wouldn’t have lost to Duke. I understand talent means more wins (I was alive last year), but I was searching for a way to better explain my point. And then last night it hit me: Who just beat Notre Dame?

Duke.

I remember Mike Krzyzwewski’s first season in Durham. I remember what Cameron Indoor Stadium looked like in the early 1980s, and I remember how the students used to pile in and be given the best seats in the gym. And you know what? Roughly 35 years later, nothing has changed. Cameron Indoor feels exactly the same, the students still get the best seats (imagine what wealthy donors would pay for them), and the experience at Duke is pretty much unchanged, right down to Coach K’s coif.

“Reach out, reach out and touch someone…”

Duke, in basketball, gets it. Too bad Notre Dame didn’t follow their lead. I’m still an alum, but there’s very little about the experience at Notre Dame on a Saturday that seems authentic any more. As someone tweeted me last night, they’ve gone from an identity to a brand.

Change isn’t always bad (AC in the press box!) and it isn’t always good (smoke machine as players emerge from the tunnel). Change just is, and each proposal should be evaluated. More than any other football program, Notre Dame traffics in tradition and lore. And it made its oats as the underdog that “what tho the odds be great or small,” won over all. And even if you think that’s blarney, that’s the story (you know, kind of like how The Dude on the side of the library rose on the third day…).

So when that’s your campus fable/myth/legend, and then you completely abandon it to be come the entitled kid, the rich brat that everyone loathes, well, you sacrifice your soul. And when people tell me, “Well, everyone’s doing that these days,” my retort is blunt: “That’s exactly WHY Notre Dame should not.”

Music 101 

The Devil’s Right Hand

So, here’s one to stoke your 2nd Amendment passions. It’s a tune from Steve Earle, a Texas musician who grew up owning lots of guns. He wrote it in the late 1980s. Great personal anecdote from Earle leading into it.

Remote Patrol

Clinton vs. Trump

9 p.m. CBS, NBC, ABC, FOX, CNN, MSNBC, Fox News, C-Span

“Let’s get ready to ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuumble!” Listen, the system is broke. The election season should last three months at most and there absolutely NEEDS to be a minimum of three parties. Begin there. But until this happens, and before Trump and Putin nuke the Middle East, this is what we have.

by John Walters

“One, two!” A Medium Happy 67th to the Boss.

Starting Five

Sartorially, at least, the genius does not jump right out at you

1. The Best of Belichick

What the Tom Brady suspension has done is offer a platform for Bill Belichick to demonstrate just how superior he is to his supposed peers. Week 1, at Arizona, a team many believe will make it to the Super Bowl next winter, and the Pats win with no Brady and no Gronk. Week 2, an easy home win versus the Dolphins but 2nd-string QB Jimmy Garoppolo is injured. Last night, down to third-string QB Jacoby Brissett, the Pats shut out the Houston Texans, who entered Gillette Stadium 2-0.

No wonder Jacoby Brissett handed the football to a coach who already owns four Super Bowl rings after scoring his first TD. He knows: this four-game stretch, and yes the Pats will start 4-0, is Bill Belichick’s Pet Sounds. His 5th Symphony. He’s Verbal Kint and every other NFL coach is Chazz Palminteri’s character from The Usual Suspects.

2. “What? No F*ck%n’ Ziti?”

Kudos to Sheffield for not “disrespecting the Bing.”

Props to Rolling Stone pop culture maven Rob Sheffield for endeavoring to compile a list of “The 100 Greatest TV Shows Of All Time” in which “All Time” equals “Since 1950.” Man, are we human beings overly self-absorbed.

Anyway, you can argue with the order but the Top 10 is pretty solid: The Sopranos, The Wire, Breaking Bad, Mad Men, Seinfeld, The Simpsons, Mad Men, The Twilight Zone, Saturday Night Live, All In The Family, The Daily Show.

One man’s contrarian opinion, 1 to 10: Mad Men, Seinfeld, Late Night/Late Show with David Letterman, The Sopranos, All In The Family, The Twilight Zone, Breaking Bad, The Wire, Cheers, The Office (U.K.).

Oscar and Felix should have been in the Top 25

Kudos to Rob for putting the British The Office so high (No. 21) and for not forgetting the one-year wonder that was My So-Called Life.

What did the list not include that it should have? The Carol Burnett Show, Extras, Frasier, The Cosby Show (it’s not the shows’ faults that Kelsey and Bill are such horrible human beings), Entourage, SCTV, The Newsroom (come at me, Emily Nussbaum!), The Brady Bunch (c’mon, who doesn’t quote it or know it?),

3. Twitter For Sale

Why @twitter?

1 personal learning network
2 the best realtime, context rich news
3 democratize intelligence
4 great place to promote others

— Vala Afshar (@ValaAfshar) September 23, 2016

Shortly after 9 a.m. David Faber (who never ages) reported on CNBC that he is hearing rumors of an imminent sale of Twitter. Perhaps a little bird told him? How reliable a reporter is Faber? In the moments before he mentioned it, TWTR was down 71 cents in pre-dawn trading on the bottom-of-your-screen crawl. Less than 30 seconds later, TWTR was up $3 to $22-and-change.

Rumor has it that SalesForce.com and/or Google are interested in purchasing TWTR. It’s not about profitability. It’s about the scope of the service. Always has been.

4. Stupid Is As Stupid Does

When the “Taking a Knee” doc (I’m putting a moratorium on using “30 For 30”) eventually airs about Colin Kaepernick and what his national anthem protest has incited, these tweets and video clips all from just yesterday will be used….

Here’s San Francisco 49er coach Chip Kelly deftly handling long-time Bay Area curmudgeon Lowell Cohn who is not asking questions as much as he is lecturing Kelly.

Here’s Seattle Mariner catcher Steve Clevenger…

#Mariners say they are “looking into” controversial tweets coming pitcher Steve Clevenger’s account screencapped by @cablebox666: pic.twitter.com/RcWNdqflGV

— Jon Humbert (@jonhumbert) September 22, 2016

Here’s North Carolina congressman Robert Pittenger telling BBC News Night that African-Americans “the hate white people because white people are successful and they’re not.” Now, to be fair, Pittenger was also decrying welfare and the perpetual state of misery if being on welfare is your de facto mode of survival, and there he has a point. But the utter insensitivity and tone-deafness of saying that because people are protesting a black man being shot (by a black cop) is mind-boggling.

And here’s Kathy Miller, a former Trump chair woman for Mahoney County in Ohio, telling a reporter, “I don’t think there was any racism until Obama got elected.” I mean, she knows she’s on camera and she’s saying this…

5.  Vin Sanity

Two Fordham Prep alums seated with a Hackley Prep alum

As the hagiographies and tributes to an unparalleled 67-year career in broadcasting pour in for Vin Scully, I urge you to read this outstanding piece by Keith Olbemann. Wonderful.

Music 101

I’m Going Down

I was compiling a list of Springsteen songs yesterday—I do this about once a month…no reason—and this little gem from Born In The U.S.A. popped up. I doubt it makes anyone’s Top 10 list for Springsteen songs, but it’s such a tight tune, and Max Weinberg’s drumming  at the beginning is impeccable. This is a throwaway song for The Boss, where for anyone else it’s in their Greatest Hits collection.

Remote Patrol

Stanford at UCLA

Saturday 8 p.m. ABC

As our college football-loving friend Borat would say, “Sexy time!” Josh RosenRosen and Christian McCaffrey are given their prime-time Heisman stage in the Rose Bowl. It’s time for Jim Mora to win a game that matters in Westwood, but the Cardinal are just a wrecking ball.