by John Walters

Turkish Catastrophe

An earthquake measuring 7.9 on the Richter scale rocked eastern Turkey yesterday, taking more than 2,300 lives in that country as well as Syria and Lebanon. Chances are that the fatality figure will at least double as more bodies are found in the rubble.

In another epoch, someone might have found a way to twist this tragedy’s cause into God’s wrath, but as the geography clearly shows, Whoever or Whatever caused this was ecumencial in His/its treatment of the religious faith of its myriad victims. We are reminded of the sage words of that ’60s philosopher, Don Draper:

Hip Hop? Hooray!

We’ve been aged out of watching The Grammys (nobody’s fault…just time’s winged chariot, etc.), but we heard they did a 50th anniversary tribute to hip hop. So hip hop is officially an OG. And it may need Hip Replacement Hop soon. This video, we think, captures it…

We like that L.L. Cool J placed a date (August 11, 1973) and place (1520 Sedgwick Ave., the Bronx) and person (DK Kool Herc… still thriving at age 68) for hip hop’s origin. Let history show that the Yankees lost at home that Saturday to the best team in baseball, the Oakland A’s, 7-3. The starting pitchers were Vida Blue and Mel Stottlemyre; Reggie Jackson went three for four).

Growing up as Wonderbread as I did, I was only vaguely aware of hip hop, even through the rise of the Sugar Hill Gang and even Run-DMC. The first time hip hop’s full thrust really hit me was in the opening credits of Spike Lee’s 1989 classic Do The Right Thing. Public Enemy’s “Fight The Power.” You could feel the power. You?

Rosie Perez, you are an immortal.

Kyrie Irving, Texas

Lana Turner was married six times. It wasn’t because her husbands found her unattractive.
Kyrie Irving just moved on to his fourth NBA team, even though he’s a legitimate Top 10 NBA talent when he’s fully healthy and engaged.

Irving, who will turn 31 in March, joins Luka Doncic, who is tied for the NBA scoring lead at 33.4 points per game (with Joel Embiid) and is probably one of two players (Nikola Jokic) with a realistic shot to win MVP this season. Does Dallas’ record (28-26) improve? Does Kyrie play nice in order to secure that final max contract and does he even remain in Dallas?

Maybe It’s Me

— LeBron James (@KingJames) February 6, 2023

Kyrie’s former teammate had this to sub-tweet, but you know, it’s worth noting that LeBron has jumped teams just as many times in his career as Kyrie has.

Death Foreshadowed On Screen

Maybe you’re like me (hopefully, you’re not). You watch a film on TCM and you want to learn more about an actor so you Google them. And if you see that they died, say, before their 50th birthday, you are obliged to dig further. So you see the gorgeous Carole Landis (above) in a film and then see she died before her 30th birthday and you shovel further and learn that she committed suicide, heartbroken that Rex Harrison would not leave his wife for her (and then he still had the gall to make My Fair Lady... GAW!).

Then there’s the even more tragic story of Susan Peters, who was both stunning and a fine actress with a bright future ahead (both of these actresses were ’40s era, Golden Age of Hollywood sirens). On New Year’s Day, 1945 (coincidentally, Landis’ 26th birthday), Peters was on a hunting trip with her boyfriend. A bullet discharged accidentally and left her a paraplegic. Two years earlier she had earned a Best Supporting Actress nom for her role in Random Harvest. Now here career was essentially over… though she did wonderfully as a wheelchair-bound villain in The Sign of The Ram (1948).

The reality of her plight eventually consumed Peters, who plunged into a deep depression and starved herself to death in 1952, at the age of 31.

Now, sure, this is all morbid and depressing, but it fascinates me. Taking it to yet another level are actors whose means of death is forecast, or at least foreshadowed, in a movie in which they appeared. And, after watching Hangover Square this weekend, I now have the obligatory grouping of three to provide you:

1. James Dean, who died in a car wreck as you know (I drove past this rural intersection in central California last October). Dean only appeared in three films, but in at least two of them, he’s driving at unsafe speeds (Rebel Without A Cause and Giant). The latter film was released after Dean’s deth.
2. Carole Lombard, who died in a plane crash just outside of Las Vegas. The ’30s starlet and wife of Clark Gable was homeward bound to Los Angeles from a goodwill war bonds tour that had ended in Indiana. She and her mom had taken the train all the way from the Hoosier State to Vegas, but then they were anxious to be home and opted to fly the final leg. A tragic choice. Lombard appears in at least two films where she appears in a scene in a plane’s cabin (Nothing Sacred and To Be Or Not To Be). Lombard was just 33 when she died. The latter film was also released after she died (and is highly recommended by MH judges and editors).
3. Finally, Linda Darnell, a buxom beauty from the ’40s era who would tragically die in a house fire. In Hangover Square she is first strangled to death by the main character, George Harvey Bone (Laird Cregar), who then deposits her wrapped corpse atop a large bonfire pyre (celebrating Guy Fawkes Day in London). Darnell was 41 when she died.

Completing this large circle, Cregar would die tragically at age 31. He was obsessed with losing enough weight to be considered a leading man, eventually undergoing gastric bypass surgery… in the prehistoric cosmetic surgery era of 1945. Nine days later, Cregar died of complications from surgery. Hangover Square, his signature performance, was also released posthumously.

Conclusion: I watch too much TCM.

Dollar Quiz

1. Name every populated continent that did not experience a direct armed conflict/attack during World War II.
2. The first NBA slam-dunk contest was held in Denver in 1984. Who won?
3. Name three Best Picture winners from the 1980s that are set in Asia.
4. Name these Biblical characters in order, from first to appear to last: Moses, Abraham, Noah, David, Joseph.
5. How many offensive players must line up on the line of scrimmage, minimum?