by John Walters
The Triumvirate Rules
Another college football season, albeit a chaotic and staccato one, plays out, and once again Alabama, Clemson and Ohio State are atop the pack. As for recruiting—the early signing period ended just last week—Alabama and Ohio State are 1 and 2, per Rivals.com, and Clemson is at No. 7.
Much like this nation during the pandemic, the rich get richer while the list of have-nots grow and there seems little hope that anything will tip the scales any time soon.
It’s boring.
College football’s postseason is broken, and you cannot blame it on the pandemic. The stifling status quo up top is part of it, but not the only problem. Vestigial bowl contracts, with conference and ESPN tie-ins, are also making a mockery of the game we love. Here are two consequences of the current system that no one could ever possibly defend:
- South Carolina, which finished with a 2-8 record and fired its coach, is going to a bowl (43% of bowl teams this season are from the SEC, by the way).
- Army, which finished 9-2, is not currently headed to a bowl. In a bowl ecosystem that has an Armed Forces Bowl and a Military Bowl, the actual United Freaking States Military Academy cannot garner an invitation to a bowl…with a 9-2 record. Blow up the system. Start over.
We hit upon an analogy for the state of college football in the past half-decade. It’s basically men’s tennis. Alabama and Clemson are Federer and Nadal, while Ohio State is Djokovic.
Come Together
Tonight, the night of the winter solstice, the two largest planets in our solar system, Jupiter and Saturn, will appear closer together in the night sky than they have in the past 400 years. It’s known as The Great Conjunction. Enough of a reason to turn away from The Bachelor (or The Bachelorette) and go outside for a peek? We hope so, for your sake.
If you’re wondering if this is kind of a big deal, it’s been nearly 400 years since Jupiter and Saturn have appeared this close together in the sky (1623), but that time it occurred during the day. It’s been about 800 years since they appeared this close together in the sky at night…so I really hope it is not raining or snowing where you are this evening.
QAnon-ymous
It takes a group of Aussies to point out how ridiculously foolish so many Americans are.
Surely, You Jets
When yesterday began, the hapless New York Jets were 0-13 and in the driver’s seat to select Clemson quarterback Trevor Lawrence with the No. 1 overall pick. Then they did something so stupid that, even for the Jets, this was remarkable: they went out and beat the playoff-bound LA Rams, 23-20.
So now what? Well, with two games remaining, New York owns the same record as the Jacksonville Jaguars (Is there an NFL town or culture better-suited for a Clemson grad? Maybe only Charlotte), but the Jags would win th tiebreaker based on having played a weaker strength of schedule.
One of my students at ASU had a brilliant idea (this young man often has brilliant ideas…I hate him): Instead of a Pro Bowl that no one cares about, you pit the NFL’s two worst teams against one another that weekend. Call it the Shame Bowl. Winning side gets the No. 1 pick. Losing side drops down to 5th pick. Players from both teams are paid with the losing side getting only half what the winning side does. The top NFL prospects attend and are on the sidelines, available for interviews.
Now you may ask, Why would Sam Darnold or Gardner Minshew want to perform well when the prize is his team selecting his replacement with the No. 1 pick? Here’s why: 1) If you’re the quarterback of one of the league’s two worst teams, your job is already in jeopardy and 2) This is the largest stage you’re ever going to have to audition for other prospective employers. Take advantage.
Both These Receivers Are Light-Footed
We’re big fans of the surname jersey mash-up. We’ve seen some good ones in the past (and wish we could remember them). This one pays homage to the greatest song ever devoted to a shipwreck in the Great Lakes.
Called Shot
This is Tony Schwartz, best-known as the ghostwriter of Trump: The Art Of The Deal, predicting Donald Trump’s behavior after losing the election. The 2016 election. Still holds true four years later.
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Oh, and Susie B., have you taken a look at EDIT this morning? I have. Woo and Hoo. Merry Christmas!
I wrote a lengthy (natch) comment ranting about CFB & the Sociopath’s most recent foray into attempted despotism but I clicked something by accident & poof, it’s gone. Consider it an early Xmas gift. 😉
I looked up CRSP & EDIT right before I came here & thought the latter’s quote was a typo on CNBC. 🙂 I’d feel a bit more ecstatic if the rest of my stock screen was not awash in red today, but whoo-hoo anyway! Who needs a “white” Christmas; I’ll take GREEN! 🙂 Congrats to you too, jdubs. Par-tay in the desert?
College football fans already have to look past a lot, what with the financial exploitation of athletes by schools with billion-dollar endowments, the concussion/long-term brain injury aspects, etc. And this year, you add in the idea of running these players out there during a pandemic to make sure that the money stream keeps flowing.
Plus, this year, we don’t even have any of the good stuff — the crazy crowds, the campus pageantry, etc. Throw in the lack of competition — it’s tough to be a fan this year. Exactly who does the average fan root for in another Alabama-Clemson game? It comes down to which head coach you dislike the least.
I could swear that when I checked CNBC TV this morning, sometime between 6am-8, that the DOW was DOWN more than 400 & the Nasdaq was down over 100. Was I hallucinating?! Or maybe I’m hallucinating now & the DOW is NOT really 80 pts in the green? I’m a life-long lover of roller coasters but even I’m feeling some motion sickness today!