by John Walters
Chalamet Night Live!
In his debut as a host for SNL, actor Timothy Chalamet was fantastic. Possibly no SNL host ever grew up closer to the studio—the Call Me By Your Name star was raised in Hell’s Kitchen—and perhaps none ever had a parent who was an extra in an SNL sketch (Chalamet’s mom appeared in the background of a sketch that had Chris Farley spitting up).
Chalamet, 24, genuinely seemed to be loving his experience and he had the opportunity to say, “Ladies and gentlemen, Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band!” In 2020. Pretty freakin’ cool.
He’ll be back.
Our two favorite sketches were this Lexus “December To Remember” parody as well as Sportsmax, which skewered Newsmax, MAGA and the Jets all in one bit. Chalamet was solid in both, but really shined in the latter.
The Ohio Players?
Rather stunning, in a way, that a city with a sports team named “Browns” is changing the name of another one of its teams (Indians) because it’s racist. We’ve always felt it’s always been more wrong than racist. I mean, they were never from India.
You wonder, will the state of Indiana be changing its name soon as well?
And what will Cleveland’s baseball team now be named? Our old friend Steve Rushin suggested the Grovers on Twitter.
Shoe Fits in Gainesville
In the fog of the Swamp, No. 6 Florida had just stopped LSU on 3rd down late in the fourth quarter with the score knotted at 34 (the scored was tied, the shoe was not). Then, inexplicably, Gator DB Marco Wilson picked up LSU tight end Kole Taylor’s shoe and chucked it 20 yards downfield.
Unsportsmanlike conduct, Gators.
LSU would later nail a 57-yard field goal and go on to win, 37-34.
Folks are gonna pile on Wilson forever, as Florida’s slim hopes to make the playoff are dashed. And to an extent, he deserves it. But let’s not forget that UF coach Dan Mullen has a very recent and visible history of being unhinge(d) on the field during game day. He sets the example. Some of this is on him.
College Football Leftovers
–In Chapel Hill, North Carolina running backs Michael Carter (308) and Javonte Williams (236) combined for 544 rushing yards in a 62-26 blowout of No. 10 Miami. That’s an FBS record for two teammates’ combined rushing yardage in one game and here’s the cherry on top: UNC coach Mack Brown did it agains UM coach Manny Diaz, his former defensive coordinator at Texas whom he fired on the flight home from Provo a few years back after an embarrassing loss at BYU in which the Cougars rushed for 550 yards on the Longhorns in a 40-21 shamefest.
–Speaking of shamefests, in Tucson, Arizona State blows out Arizona, 70-7. Kevin Sumlin is fired the next day. He was awful there the entire time.
–Auburn fires Gus Malzahn, who did a more than credible job on the Plain but was never Nick Saban. Gus will get a buyout of $21.45 million. Few coaches have defeated Nick Saban more than once: he is one of them.
–Both Coastal Carolina and USC scored with less than a minute to play on the road to remain undefeated. The Chanticleers hit on a 23-yard pass at Troy with :35 left while the Trojans took down cross-town rival UCLA via an 8-yard pass with :16 to play. Both still very much alive for a NY6 bowl berth.
–Standouts: ASU’s Jackson He becomes the first Chinese-born player to score a touchdown at the FBS level. Colorado’s 6’3 frosh wideout Brenden Rice, Jerry’s son, scores on a punt return of 81 yards and a reception of 61 yards, though the Buffs lose to Utah. How had we never heard of him, particularly since he attended Chandler (Ariz.) Hamilton High? And in Albuquerque, New Mexico’s 6’6″, 322-pound aptly named offensive lineman Teton Saltes plays his final game. Saltes, a Wuerffel Trophy finalist, is a Native American who is also in law school and a self-taught guitarist. And a damn good football player. How had we never heard of him before Saturday night?
White House Privilege
As the number of U.S. COVID-19 fatalities eclipses 300,000—in less than 10 months—the New York Times reported that senior members of the White House administration will be among the very first to receive vaccine shots. Seems rather, I dunno, insensitive.
After the report was published, the White House announced that it was reversing said plans.
Meanwhile, today is the day the 538 presidential electors are to do their jobs and vote… I don’t know why you put a nation of 330 million into the hands of 538 people and hope that just 100 or so of them cannot be bought, but, hey, I don’t know why the quartering of soldiers is unlawful is the 2nd 3rd Amendment, either. It’s not a perfect republic, now is it?
Will Michigan fire Harbaugh OR will he leave to return to the NFL or “spend more time with his family”?
Anyhoo, remember this past 10 days or so & I mentioned that my CRSP had become a 4-bagger in the last 8 months? And that I also owned EDIT, which I’ve owned since early 2018? Well, after CRSP shot up like a cannon, EDIT says “HOLD THE PHONE” & since 11/30, it sprinted from $30/share to about $67 today. More than a double in 15 days! Whoo-hoo! Just so you know, I will hardly get “Scrooge McDuck rich” from either holding as I only own 20 shares of CRSP & 50 of EDIT, but it sure is a HOOT. 🙂 (On the other hand, I do own “just” 50 shares of something else that has done alright, alright, alright. 🙂 )
Also, I thought you still owned some TSLA. You sold it all this year? And do you still have your holding in what was TERP & now BEPC? It split today, 3 for 2. If you don’t own BEPC, I think it would interest you since it is a RENEWABLE energy company. And it pays a dividend. You may not care about dividends right now but as you, ahem, get older they can be a great source of income without having to actually sell the asset. I wish I had started beefing up my dividend holdings several years ago but growth stocks have been & still are my “Rice Krispie treats” (i.e. I can’t resist!).
I believe you follow Rex Chapman’s twitter. Did you see the tweet last week with the doberman “exercising” along with a dog & it’s master on TV? LOVED that one! 🙂
Happy for you, Susie B.
Bought EDIT later, but own a lot more, so I’d say we’re about even. Should I send your Christmas card to the same address as usual?
Three things (and I’m only numbering them so I don’t forget one) …
1) “But let’s not forget that UF coach Dan Mullen has a very recent and visible history of being unhinge on the field during game day.”
Is “unhinge” correct here? Seriously asking. I thought it’d be past tense as in “history of being unhinged.”
2) “… but, hey, I don’t know why the quartering of soldiers is unlawful is the 2nd Amendment, either.”
First, it’s the 3rd amendment (“No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.”). Second, should your second “is” be “in” so it reads “is unlawful in the 2nd Amendment” (or really 3rd Amendment)?
3) In your college football left overs, especially in the standouts, why no mention of Sarah Fuller? This weekend, she became the first woman to score points in a Power 5 football game.
I’m disappointed, Micah, that you never devote any space to all the words that I spell correctly. And the facts I get right. So negative!
I give positive feedback. Remember last week? I thanked you for introducing my to Aimee Mann. 🙂
Adding to my list of mistakes I’ve made in my life, I bought $penn at 17.85/share back on April 30 and sold it shortly after because I wanted to go to the dentist.
Penn is now trading over $80 today.
Shameful.
I bought PENN at $52. Still own.
We all make miatakes. Myself roo many to name. In investing, too.
I’m going to hold out for the MH Hedge Fund.