by John Walters
Starting Five
The Rx Is XX
What do the most successful nations fighting the coronavirus have in common?
Let’s look at some of the numbers first:
–New Zealand, four deaths.
–Taiwan, six deaths.
–Iceland, eight deaths.
Germany has 3,254 deaths, but its mortality rate for those stricken is below 3%, far lower than France, Italy or Spain, all western European neighbors with mortality rates above 10%. Long ago, in early February German chancellor Angela Merkel warned her nation that the coronavirus would infect up to 70% of the population. “It’s serious,” Merkel said. “Let’s take it seriously.”
Then she instituted testing. Immediately.
What do these countries have in common? From New Zealand (Jacinda Arden, above) to Iceland (Katrin Jakobsdottir) to Taiwan (Tsai Ing-Wen), they all have female leaders. Who warns you about catching a cold: mom or dad? Who’s there when you do catch cold, mom or dad?
We almost had a female leader. Thanks, Pennsylvania. And Michigan. And Wisconsin.
The Man Who Never Was
I have this recurring observation as I watch old films on TCM the past few years. Invariably, someone will be talking about Donald Trump, not by name of course, even though the film was released anywhere from 85 to 50 years ago. Happened again last night as I was watching The Man Who Never Was, a 1956 film based on the true story that is detailed in the book Operation Mincemeat. It’s all about how the British fooled the Germans into thinking a planted dead soldier with phony invasion plans was the real deal.
Fast forward to a scene from inside the Third Reich, a conversation between two German intelligence officers, one of them an admiral. Thanks to IMDB, we can re-create it in full here:
Admiral: “Well?”
Intelligence: “There’s nothing new from Madrid, Admiral. The Führer has told his conference that the documents are undoubtedly genuine.”
Admiral: “You mean HE doesn’t doubt them.”
Intelligence: “He’s quite sure.“
Admiral: “The Führer, of course, has certain advantages over mere intelligence officers like you and me, Frederick. He has his intuition, whereas we have to rely on our brains. And he’s sure God is on his side.”
Intelligence: “But you are not?”
Admiral: ” I do not believe that God is on my side to the extent of sending me the enemy’s plans.“
Sound like anyone we know?
The Great Yogi
I’ve started searching out classic Sports Illustrated stories to fill quiet moments of late. A few nights ago I found this gem from Roy Blount, Jr., in 1984. Not only is everything about it perfect, including the cover photo (Walter Iooss, of course) and the header (double entendre, but clean), but Blount’s prose is a joy. He mixes anecdotes and insights with just the right amount of glibness and respect.
Two humorous anecdotes stood out for me: the Gracie Mansion story and the check signed from Jack Buck. You’ll have to read the piece to learn the details.
However, the story that I know will stay with me is not particularly Yogi-esque but quite illuminating. Berra is the guest of honor at a father-son banquet in St. Louis where the kids will be given autographed bats and balls. In the corner are a group of boys sitting alone. Berra inquires as to who they are and is told they’re from a local orphanage. He asks if they’re getting bats and balls, too, and is told that it seemed that it was honor enough for them just to be there. Yogi promptly walks over to their table, plops a seat, and spends the rest of the evening in their company.
We always loved Yogi. And this is just one more reason why.
P.S. I also got a kick out of this Q & A with Blount from six years ago. For those of us who worked at SI, these words (again, from one of the most talented writers ever to work there) ring true:
I think it [the story] was the magazine’s idea. Whoever the outside text editor was at the time [Myra Gelband] might have called me about it. They would usually suggest it. If it was their idea they’d think it was a good idea. If it was my idea, they’d say “Well…”
One year they called me and said, “Do you want to go to [Cubs] fantasy camp?” If I’d called up and said, “I want to go to fantasy camp” they’d say, “Well, so does everybody.”
Sign Posted
This hangs in the men’s room where I work. Thought I’d share it.
Sports Year 1874
The Victoria Hockey Club, the first known organized hockey squad (amateur), is formed in Montreal. Canadians immediately begin staying home on Saturday nights even though television sets are still more than a half-century away… Harvard and McGill play two games resembling football, or at least that’s what they call it, in May in Cambridge. The Crimson win the first 2-0 and the second game ends in a scoreless tie… Mungo Park is not the name of a rugby pitch in Sheffield but rather of this year’s British Open champion… The Boston Red Stockings win their third consecutive National Association of Professional Baseball Players championship. This league, the precursor of the National League, will exist from 1871-1875.
The Red Stockings, formed in 1871 after the dissolution of the Cincinnati Red Stockings in 1869, were the product of a pair of brothers who had been on the former team and relocated to New England. They are Harry and George Wright–yes, the Wright brothers, but not those Wright Brothers— and the team’s pitching ace is Al Spalding, who will go on to greater fortune (and fame) as the founder of Spalding sporting goods.
This Boston team, despite the name, will go on not to be the Red Sox of today but the Braves. They are the oldest continuous baseball team in existence (the Cubs were founded the same year but did not play in 1871 or 1872 thanks to Mrs. O’Leary’s cow).