by John Walters

Starting Five

Tsunaminations*

*The judges will also accept “The Shape Of Water”

As Tuesday opens, the big stories are a monster tsunami possibly bearing down on Alaska following a 7.9 magnitude earthquake off the coast and the Oscar nominations bearing down on Hollywood. The winner in both instances is GET OUT!

2. Early Predictions (Should Win and Will Win)

Best Actress

• Sally Hawkins, The Shape Of Water
• Frances McDormand, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
• Margot Robbie, I, Tonya
• Saoirse Ronan, Lady Bird
• Meryl Streep, The Post

Should Win: Meryl Streep or Saoirse Ronan

Will Win: Frances McDormand (UGHH!!!!)

Best Actor

• Timothee Chalamet, Call Me By Your Name
• Daniel Day-Lewis, Phantom Thread
• Daniel Kaluuya, Get Out
• Gary Oldman, Darkest Hour
• Denzel Washington, Roman J Israel, Esq

Should Win: Daniel Day-Lewis

Will Win: Gary Oldman

*We haven’t seen Call Me By Your Name, but maybe the kid pulls off a surprise.

Best Supporting Actress

• Mary J Blige, Mudbound
• Allison Janney, I, Tonya
• Lesley Manville, Phantom Thread
• Laurie Metcalf, Lady Bird
• Octavia Spencer, The Shape of Water

Should Win: Laurie Metcalf

Will Win: Allison Janney

Best Supporting Actor

• Willem Dafoe, The Florida Project
• Woody Harrelson, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
• Richard Jenkins, The Shape Of Water
• Christopher Plummer, All the Money in the World
• Sam Rockwell, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Should Win: Willem Dafoe?

Will Win: Sam Rockwell

Best Animated Picture

CoCo 

Surest thing at the Oscars, and it deserves it. Should’ve been a Best Picture nom.

Best Picture

• Call Me By Your Name
• Darkest Hour
• Dunkirk
• Get Out
• Lady Bird
• Phantom Thread
• The Post
• The Shape of Water
• Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Should Win: Get Out 

Will Win: Three Billboards

3. From Shutdown To Shut Up

A 32 year-old white supremacist whose entire approach to humanity is modeled after that nervous Martin Short character on Saturday Night Live, Nathan Thurm, back in the Eighties is shaping national policy.

We don’t understand the entire story, admittedly, but Stephen Miller appears to have held the government hostage by telling the Dems, “Look, if you want child health care then you are going to have to vote for THE WALL.” And the Dems caved. A reminder that Miller associated with Richard Spencer while an undergrad at (David) Duke University and worked for Jeff Sessions a few years back. America used to laugh at people like this. Sad!

4. In Plane View*

*The judges will reluctantly accept “Marilyn Hartman, Marilyn Hartman”

This 66 year-old Illinois woman, Marilyn Hartman, looks more Downton Abbey than Homeland, but it turns out she’s potentially quite lethal. Potentially.

Last week Hartman slipped past security at O’Hare Airport and flew to London, where customs officials detained her. She has previously flown from San Jose to Los Angeles and Minneapolis to Jacksonville without a ticket. Arrest her? Why, she should be giving TED talks.

5. CNN’s Second-Generation Tubers

You already know that Anderson Cooper is the son of Gloria Vanderbilt, and you probably also know that Chris Cuomo is the son of former New York City mayor Mario Cuomo (and current New York governor Andrew Cuomo). Did you know that CNN White House correspondent Pamela Brown is the daughter of erstwhile CBS NFL Today uberbabe Phyllis George (and former Kentucky governor John Y. Brown)? Well, she is.

Ask your parents: Phyllis George was the original Erin Andrews.

 

Music 101

Psycho Killer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bM9SHDNAbPw

Smarter than most, eccentric and slightly aloof: the Talking Heads were the psycho killer of bands. This song was written in 1974 but became their breakout hit in 1977 (relatively speaking, as it peaked at 92 on the Billboard chart), a time when the Zodiac and the Son of Sam were still on loose and Charles Manson had only been imprisoned a few years earlier. Related: We may be watching too much Mindhunter of late.

Remote Patrol

No. 5 Kansas at No. 12 Oklahoma

7 p.m. ESPN

If you have yet to watch Trae Young, who leads all of Division I in both Scoring (30.5 per game) and Assists (9.7 per), here’s your chance. OU is going to have the nation’s Heisman winner and Naismith winner this academic year. The Jayhawks won the Big 12 outright or tied for it in the regular season 13 consecutive years.