by John Walters
Program Note: The MH staff is road-tripping to South Bend, so there probably won’t be a new post tomorrow. Adjust your heartbreak accordingly…
Starting Five
Tanaka has pitched two shutouts in the postseason and allowed just two runs in 20 innings, or a .90 ERA
1. Masahiro Worshippers*
*The judges will also accept “Tanaka Blast”
The Young Yankees (not as catchy) are breaking out. Greg Bird hit homers in Games 3 of the ALDS and Game 1 of the ALCS. Aaron Judge hit a pair of homers in the three-game sweep of the Astros in the Bronx, getting RBI in all three games, and Gary Sanchez had two RBI in Games 4 an 5.
But the hidden, under appreciated story? Starting pitching. The Yanks have thrown two shutouts in the playoffs and against Houston, their starters have allowed seven runs in five games. Two of those runs were charged to Sonny Gray, even though he didn’t toss the pitch that scored the runners. So, literally, five runs in five games against the highest-scoring offense in all of baseball.
Last night the Yankees threw a shutout for the second time in games started by Mashairo Tanaka this postseason. Yanks up 3-2 as we return to Houston.
The Astros have two Cy Young Award winners, but the Yankee arms are getting it done.
2. Sun Downers
The look on the face of Jared Dudley (far left) says it all
Holy Smoketree (inside joke)! The Phoenix Suns got run out of their own building on opening night, suffering the worst loss in franchise history, 124-76, to the Portland Trail Blazers. On the opening night of their 50th season, the Suns’ 48-point loss is also the worst in NBA history on an opening night. It could’ve been worse–the Blazers led by 58 before emptying their bench.
The one good note for us Suns fans: Alex Len did not play. He’d never let them lose that badly. But, man, are they going to be THAT bad this season, and is Marvin Bagley III going to return home next year?
3. Do NOT Mess With Cersei
The latest high-profile Harvey Weinstein accuser: actress Lena Headey, a.k.a. Cersie Lannister. Let her do the talking/tweeting:
— lena headey (@IAMLenaHeadey) October 17, 2017
and
— lena headey (@IAMLenaHeadey) October 17, 2017
and…
— lena headey (@IAMLenaHeadey) October 17, 2017
and
— lena headey (@IAMLenaHeadey) October 17, 2017
Earlier this week actress Lauren Holly also accused Weinstein of asking her for a naked massage. The balls on that guy.
4. New Zealand’s New Leader
Suddenly Trump wants to improve relations with the Kiwis…
Meet Jacinda Ardem, 37, who was just elected as the Prime Minister of New Zealand. We are told that “Jacindamania” is sweeping the country and we really do hope Brett and Jermaine write a song about her.
That hand wave, though. Where have I seen it before?
The youth movement is strong. In Austria (not Australia) 31 year-old Sebastian Kurz was just named Chancellor. Kurz is the youngest national leader outside a monarchy anyone can recall. He’s also a quasi-Fascist, running on an anti-immigration platform. A quasi-Fascist from Austria? What could possibly go wrong?
Kurz, Wikipedia tells me, studied seven years at the University of Vienna without obtaining a degree. The Austrians just elected Van Wilder.
5. Checks, and Balances
You know how you intend to pay for your share of the Las Vegas Weekend with the boys and tell your buddy who laid out the cash that you’ll put that check in the mail as soon as you get home and then never do? Well, now you, too, can be president of the United States.
During a June condolence call with the father of a slain soldier, Donald Trump told the dad that he’d be sending him a check for $25,000. This week the Washington Post reported on the phone call to Chris Baldridge, who told them that the check never arrived (all of this probably would never have been dredged up if not for Trump’s obscenely false proclamation on Monday). Baldridge’s son Dillon was fatally shot by an Afghan police officer in June.
Trump denies his comment to the wife of a fallen soldier. Mom says he said it. Who do you believe? Then: best cartoon of the year. pic.twitter.com/q8cL905L3D
— Shadow Cabinet (@ShadowingTrump) October 18, 2017
So now, yesterday, Trump sends the guy the check. And of course a White House spokesperson rebukes the media: “It’s disgusting that the media is taking something that should be recognized as a generous and sincere gesture, made privately by the President, and using it to advance the media’s biased agenda,” said spox (look at us, being all Page 6) Lindsay Walters (thank God, no relation).
We all know that check is never getting sent if WaPo hadn’t exposed the latest Donald Trump lie.
Reserves
Fake Melania?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USgxVo-md5c
When did America become one long episode of Monty Python mashed with Curb? My favorite part: “Who happens to be right here…”
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Trailer for film I’m most excited about this autumn: Molly’s Game, the story of Molly Bloom (sister of Jeremy Bloom), a world-class skier who ran a high-stakes poker game. Written and directed by Aaron Sorkin, starring Jessica Chastain and Idris Elba (our sources tell us Sorkin is now dating the real Molly Bloom).
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Blah Blah O’Reilly
This…
“Low” would be sexually harassing staffers and then getting fired for it — humiliated in front of the world. Now THAT would be low. https://t.co/e2d6kOHL7F
— Jake Tapper (@jaketapper) October 18, 2017
Music 101
Rock Around The Clock
In the original iteration of Happy Days (starring Ron Howard and Henry Winkler), this was the theme song. That version of the show, featuring this 1953 classic from Bill Haley & The Comets, was far more faithful to the ’50s (but alas, not as much of a ratings hit). The song hit No. 1 on the charts.
Remote Patrol
Game 5: Dodgers at Cubs
TBS 8 p.m.
It’s Clayton Kershaw’s turn. Will he finally close out a meaningful series for the Dodgers?
Love the Flight of the Conchords reference. A devilshly funny show.
Meanwhile, I’m a month younger than Giannis Antekokounmpo and still haven’t recorded my 37-point opening night performance. What am I doing wrong in life?
John & Ruth – thank-you so much for your kind comments about my Dad & allowing me the indulgence to write about him & my loss. And jdubs, PLEASE wish your Mom a very Happy Belated Birthday for me! I realized when I was driving home Tuesday night that of course your Mom & my Dad shared a birthday & I had forgotten! BTW, If cleaning kitchens & doing laundry bring your Mom joy, is there any way I can get her to move to MD? My house would be a never ending source of happiness for her. 😉 And thank you so much about the photo offer! My younger sister has all the best jousting photos & I’ve been trying to get copies. Soon as I get her to send them to me, I’ll send one (or two) onto you.
Ruth – I’m so sorry to hear about your Dad. To devote the 2nd half of one’s life in such an altruistic manner as you described is truly inspiring. You must be rightfully proud. Thanks again for your condolences, they mean a lot.