by John Walters

Starting Five

The Moscovian Candidate*

*The judges had to watch a certain Angela Lansbury film in high school English class and thought, Well that could never happen. Ha!

Sticking to the teleprompter almost exclusively, President Trump gave his most statesmanlike Steve Bannon speech yet. Of course, it contradicted most of what he has said or signed into executive order the first 40 days he’s been in office, but who cares, right? (Or, who cares, alt-right?).

 

This is the best, most cogent speech Donald Trump has ever given. He needs to keep this up, chill out and stop Tweeting.

— Clay Travis (@ClayTravis) March 1, 2017

(In other words, if Trump could just quit being himself every day and live his presidency off a teleprompter, this just might work. Chauncey Gardner, you’re up next)

Example: Only yesterday Trump suggested the bomb threats against Jewish centers and schools, the desecration of Jewish cemeteries, are a false flag operation, that “sometimes it’s the reverse.” Then last night he opened with some lip service against anti-Semitic acts and advocated for unity. Is it possible both thoughts can be correct? Yeah, but when your initial reaction to racism and acts of intimidation is to suggest that the victims themselves perpetrated it, it kind of sends a signal (to your loyalists) where your heart is, no?

2. Saving Chief Petty Officer Ryan

A) His name was William Ryan Owens. Did Donald Trump start referring to his as “Ryan” because he saw a certain Spielberg film on TNT late one night? B) The widow would not have had to be there if the very man who led the salute last night had perhaps conferred with someone besides his son-in-law and racist-in-chief about a raid, and maybe after or before dinner

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCuoKLqKo5s

C) At least a dozen or so innocent women or children were also killed. No mention of them. D) No mention of the 32 year-old Indian man, at least not by name, who was murdered by a white supremacist in Kansas last week (Srinivas Kuchibhotla). Trump has never named this man (perhaps he can’t be bothered to learn how to pronounce the name) and Sean Spicey actually admonished the media for calling it a hate crime, saying, ““To right now intimate what the motives are, it’s too early to jump to a conclusion,” even though the shooter said, “Get out of my country!” before firing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lTU8gSVbfM

(Rachel Maddow was brilliant here. She refused to let conservative radio host Hugh Hewitt mansplain away Trump’s remarks in which he blamed the failed raid, or excuse me, the raid that “was not a 100% success,” on the generals. Give it a view)

E) Any excuse to put a pretty blonde (who does CrossFit?) on TV, especially if she’s going to be crying, was just too good for Trump to pass up, and you know how much this means to him because he sat her next to the only human being he’s ever come close to caring about besides himself, Ivanka. F) He actually said that “Ryan is smiling” down from heaven now because of the length of the ovation he received.

Soldiers die, we get it. This raid, from all accounts from beyond the White House, was given less thought than when I wake up on a Saturday morning in July and decide Hey, maybe it’s a beach day. And came off about as well. To not only be unabashedly not contrite about it but then to double down by exploiting the widow’s grief…..Damn.

3. Snapchat IPO

The app for the world’s most reliable way to post dick pics without being later haunted by their viral proliferation, Snapchat, will have its IPO tomorrow. It’s the most anticipated IPO since Ali Baba two and a half years ago, whose stock is about the same price now as it was then. If SNAP follows the form of Facebook, its first day price will half in a month or so, then climb with gusto. If it follows the form of TWTR, its first day price will half or even become one-third of tis initial price, then simply remain in those doldrums no matter how often the gang at CNBC makes it a topic of conversation.

4. Kempton Comes Alive

(Full Disclosure: This item was suggested by a guy who’s been a close friend for 35 years. He and I both graduated from the same high school that the player above did. He’s a good friend of the player’s dad, Tim Kempton, who was two years ahead of me at Notre Dame and played for 13 seasons in the NBA.)

That’s 6’10” Tim Kempton, Jr., a senior at Lehigh, above. Kempton is averaging 20.0 points per game, which leads the Patriot League. Kempton is averaging 10.1 rebounds per game, which leads the Patriot League. The Engineers are in 2nd-place in the league and Kempton has been named conference Player of the Week SEVEN times this season.

Kempton is the league’s top scorer AND rebounder and plays for the 2nd-place team in the conference. He was the Patriot League Player of the Year as a sophomore and junior and in each of his four seasons he has increased his scoring AND rebounding average, meaning this season his totals are better than in the previous two when he was named Player of the Year.

So Kempton was named Patriot League Player of the Year for a third consecutive season, correct? Incorrect. Nana Foulland of first-place Bucknell, who leads the league in blocks, is second in rebounding (behind only Kempton) and is 7th in scoring (14.8 ppg), was so honored. Foulland is a 6’9″ junior. He’s having a terrific season. Is he having a better season than Kempton? Or did the Patriot League just want to spread the love around?

5. Ball Boy

In case you missed this from the Fresno State-Boise State game last night….

This. Just. Happened. #SCTop10 #GoDogs #mwbb pic.twitter.com/gWipBOVt6K

— Fresno State MBB (@FresnoStateMBB) March 1, 2017

 

Music 101

You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ Yet

Does a band belong in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame simply because it wrote three of best mainstream rock songs of the Seventies, which is to say all time? Damn straight! (put ’em in already, Jann!). To the eternal delight of and gratitude from garage bands and FM program directors coast to coast, Bachman-Turner Overdrive gave North America “Let It Ride,” “Taking Care of Business” all in the same year: 1974. This tune from the Winnipeg-based band went to No. 1 both here and north of the border. Damn, but I do miss the Seventies.

Remote Patrol

Vertigo 

10 p.m. TCM

Hello, hello! I’m at a film called Vertigo! Alfred Hitchcock channeled voyeurism in Rear Window, sociopathy in Psycho, and stalker-ism in this 1958 film starring Jimmy Stewart and Kim Novak. With the city of San Francisco in a supporting role. This should always run as a double feature to be followed by Mel Brooks’ High Anxiety, an underrated spoof of it and other Hitchcock films.