by John Walters

Starting Five

More Gilmore?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Spoiler Alert: If you watched Gilmore Girls all the way through, you learned an important life lesson: It’s best not to screw up in life, but if you do, it’s a good idea to have wealthy parents (or grandparents). You got that, kids?

Anyway, so much to say on the revival (loved “These Boots…”, LOVED Stars Hollow: The Musical, hated the Steampunk Life and Death Brigade’s homage to Across The Universe, thought Kelly Bishop [Emily Gilmore]  smacked it way over the fence and deserves at the very least a Golden Globe and Emmy nomination, missed Krysten Ritter, didn’t at all miss Luke’s sister and brother-in-law, loved Michel), but here’s what I’ll posit:

Rory is not carrying a wee Wookie in her womb. The child is Logan’s. Possibly (probably?) conceived in New Hampshire. Logan is the new Christopher, which makes our lad above, Jess, the new Luke. Logan is only bad for her, Jess is only good for her. Does this sound familiar? Also, did you notice how the camera turned from Rory to Christopher in his big office all alone in that final shot? He saw what he gave up, and for what?

Logan will be able to pay for the child’s needs, but he will not be part of its life (he may even do all that he can to keep it secret). Jess will be able to publish Rory’s book (I know a little something about self-published books in Connecticut taking off and being successful; Jess, pound the pavement, babe!).

This won’t be our last Gilmore Girls item; far from it. Curious footnote: Danny Strong, who plays Doyle, Paris’ estranged husband, lampoons himself somewhat in the revival. He’s playing “a sellout” Hollywood screenwriter who plays snooker with Michael Bay. In real life he’s one of the two co-creators of ABC’s Empire. Not bad, kid. Not bad.

2. Carrier Pigeons

It’s good that Donald Trump negotiated a deal to save 1,000 jobs at Carrier in Indiana. Of course, Carrier is going to save whatever money it is losing by not going global with tax breaks from both the federal and state (remember who the governor of Indiana is?) government. I think we can all agree that it’s better to have people work than to be on the dole, but what happened here is basically the government decided to subsidize 1,000 jobs, not that Carrier decided it was better business to keep 1,000 jobs here.

Two more items, both very important: 1) As current White House spokesman Josh Earnest said yesterday, “All president-elect Trump needs is to do this 804 more times and he’ll equal the number of manufacturing jobs saved during President Obama’s presidency.” So, even if he has eight years, he’d need to do the equivalent of this deal once every four days.

2) And this is the more Trump-ian aspect of the deal: Carrier’s parent company, United Semiconductor, has existing contracts with the federal government that account for up to 10% of its revenue. So Donald, I’m assuming, may have just made Carrier an offer it couldn’t refuse. Hey, that’s just smart leverage on Donald’s part. On the other hand, this is a “give a man a fish” strategy as opposed to a “teach a man to fish” strategy.

As long as Americans insist on belonging to unions and demanding health care and other benefits, and as long as major companies operate with both eyes on their quarterly earnings reports, globalization is going to be a reality. And jobs will flow out of the country, no matter who’s president.

3. Plane In Vain

This shouldn’t happen in the 21st century. The charter flight that went down in Colombia just a few miles short of the runway in Medellin, killing at least 71 people, including most members of a Brazilian soccer team, apparently ran out of fuel. It’s one thing to run out of gas when you’re driving your KIA Sorrento out on I-275, but it’s another when there are dozens of people aboard a plane and gravity is in play.

Tragic story. The Brazilian soccer team, Chapecoense, was enroute to play the first leg of a home-and-home in the Copa Sudamericana against Medellin’s Atletico Nacional. Six people survived the crash because the plane did not explode on impact, which is likely because there was no fuel left to burn. This story on 41 year-old keeper Nivaldo, who’s been with the club more than a decade and was not on the flight, is worth reading.

4. “Oh, Mr. Graaaant Tinker

One of the legends behind the scenes of network television (along with Garry Marshall, Norman Lear and Aaron Spelling) passed earlier this week. Grant Tinker, the NBC network exec behind The Mary Tyler Moore Show (he was married to her for 20 years), as well as Hill Street Blues, Taxi, The Cosby Show, Miami Vice and Cheers, died at the age of 90. Of those network era lions, only Lear, who created All In The Family (my pop’s favorite show and one of mine), survives.

Highly recommend this read. Go down to the part where the author invites everyone over to his house to watch TV as long as they tune theirs to Cheers. Tinker started out as an ad man, and he was basically a more polished Don Draper in the Sixties (he worked on The Dick Van Dyke Show, where he met and wooed a young MTM) without the clandestine back story.

5. Hot Karl

It was still only November, practically preseason in the NBA (even though, don’t look now, but teams are more than 20% through their schedule), but we’ve had some stunning performance already (perhaps because it still feels like preseason). Last night Minnesota Timberwolves 2nd-year man Karl-Anthony Towns scored 47 points and grabbed 18 rebounds in a 106-104 loss to the Knicks.

If the T-Wolves can just keep that nucleus (Towns, Wiggins, LaVine) and if Ricky Rubio ever learns to shoot, this team could be dangerous. They’re like the 2011 OKC Thunder, but not quite as talented. Oh, by the way, they’re currently 5-13. Why’d they get rid of Sam Mitchell again?

Reserves

When Sportswriters Attack*

*The judges will also accept, “Heather Dinich Walks Into a Bar…”

I’ve never met Cecil Hurt of the Tuscaloosa News in person—we may have shared a press box long before I knew of him—but he is one of my favorite follows on Twitter. Perhaps my very favorite (I write that simply to make Jamie Reidy jealous).

Now yesterday, ESPN’s Heather Dinich appeared on an ESPN studio show (SportsCenter, was it? Pardon The Intervention?) opposite Paul Finebaum. Dinich is to the College Football Playoff committee what Richard Engel is to Lebanon: she’s the embedded reporter. And here she is probably asked by the segment producer to make the counter-argument to “PAWL!” as regarding the Crimson Tide. And we know which way PAWL! is going to lean, so she has to be the contrarian. Dinich reminds everyone…

 

“Their best win is against USC…when you look at their resume, who did they beat?” @CFBHeather on Alabama https://t.co/hSO2vgJv1w

— Paul Finebaum (@finebaum) November 30, 2016

That, for those of you laymen in the audience, is what we professionals refer to as a “hot take.” Well, I don’t know if Cecil was watching this live, or what, but then he tweeted…

 

You could walk into any sports bar in America and find someone more qualified than Heather Dinich https://t.co/kosSTrLU7l

— Cecil Hurt (@CecilHurt) November 30, 2016

As someone who’s sent out a few tweets I regret (Only last night I tweeted that the Pac-12 has zero black head football coaches, forgetting David Shaw, although let’s face it, David Shaw is whiter than Sonny Dykes, amirite?), I’m imagining Cecil wishes he had this one back. I respect him for not deleting it. And I don’t know Ms. Dinich, but I’m sure she’d be able to explain head-to-head versus best win better than that scraggly haired guy who’s always occupying the final stool at the Dublin House.

Alabama did not allow a single touchdown in November. Not one. The Tide are the best team in the nation, and there should be very little argument about that. Doesn’t mean they can’t be beaten on New Year’s Eve or in January, but to me it means there’s only so much that stats and advanced stats reveal. I DO trust my eyes. I DO trust my gut.

Meanwhile, I like Cecil a lot. That opinion was harsh and a lot of our colleagues came down hard on him on the Twitter because of it. He thinks she’s overrated (her best win is against USC?). To Heather’s credit, she chose not to get into a Twitter catfight (much to the chagrin of The Big Lead and other blogs).

But here’s the thing: At what point do you tell the producer of your TV show that you don’t want to have to make arguments that you don’t actually believe, that you’d rather have your integrity than be Skip Bayless? I dunno.

Music 101

Maybe We Should Fall In Love

The Springsteen of the Southwest, Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers consistently put out solid records and their live shows are purely evangelical. The 48 year-old from Tempe, Arizona, is a regular husband and dad who just happens to regularly go on tour and glug tequila shots from adoring patrons who pass them up to the stage. Good guy, good music.

Remote Patrol

Cowboys at Vikings

NBC 8 p.m.

I’m so not a fan of the NFL on Thursdays, but Dallas is the NFL’s best team this season, winners of 10 in a row. The Vikes, at 6-5, are having a surprisingly good season minus Teddy Bridgewater under center. This should be a good one. It would be an even better one if they were playing outdoors, truly outdoors.