by John Walters

Starting Five

Here Comes Cowboys

After yesterday’s easy 30-16 win in Green Bay, Dallas is 5-1 with two spectacular rookies, quarterback Dak Prescott and running back Ezekiel Elliott, in the backfield. Elliott rushed for a career-high 157 yards against the Packers (who’d been allowing 42 rushing yards per game). The Ohio State stud has 703 yards after six games; only Eric Dickerson ever rushed for more in the first half-dozen games of his career (787).

Prescott, meanwhile, attempted 176 passes before throwing the first interception of his NFL career yesterday. That’s the most attempts before the first INT in NFL history.

The Cowboys head into a bye week before visiting Philadelphia on Halloween Eve, but even if Tony Romo is healthy, the Cowboys (HOT TAKE ALERT!!!!) would be foolish to mess with this youthful synergy.

Circle (or Hi-Lite) December 1 on your calendar: Dallas at Minnesota on Thursday night.

2. “Bye Bye”  Bye*

*The judges note that Notre Dame’s offense did not look in sync on Saturday evening…

Notre Dame limps into its bye week 2-5 after going scoreless in the second half against a McCaffrey-free Stanford team and losing 17-10. For the fourth consecutive week, Stanford scored only one offensive touchdown, and that in the second half, and yet they are still 2-2 in that period.

For Notre Dame fans, the season has descended into ranking losses by degree of humiliation, frustration and hostility toward Brian Kelly. This Stanford outing, in which Kelly played “Do I Or Don’t I?” with his QBs throughout the second half, is No 1 for me.

The title here references what the Stanford strength coach said to Kelly as the teams walked off the field. Irish are off next Saturday (they can’t lose!) before hosting Miami on October 29.

3. Clay-mation

Nice way to rewrite the narrative, Clayton Kershaw. After closing out the Nats in Game 5 last week, the best starter in baseball’s regular season since Sandy Koufax blanks the Chicago Cubs, 1-0. Dodgers tie the NLCS, 1-1. Unbeatable trivia note: Only one other pitcher has ever blanked the Cubs 1-0 in a postseason game. His name was Babe Ruth (1918 World Series, which Ruth’s Boston Red Sox won)

4. Mosul

Oh, you wanted to talk issues instead of groping? Okay, this is Mosul, a city of 650,000 that is rich in oil reserves. ISIS has controlled it since 2014 and right now Iraqi and Kurdish forces are attempting to take it back. The U.S. is helping in a limited role. ISIS is reportedly using civilians as human shields. One Kurdish general said, “If I am killed in battle, I will die happy because I have done something for my people.”

5. Job Security: Kate McKinnon

The SNL debate openings aren’t exactly original, but they have been funny mostly because Alec Baldwin and Kate McKinnon are nailing their impressions. McKinnon is SNL’s reigning MVP and she’ll be it again this season.

As for the comedy writing, the formula is simple: 1) Take the most outrageous moments of the previous debate and 2) exaggerate them. It’s easy. It’s formulaic. It’s not very original. But it’s working because what’s happened in the first two debates has been so easy to parody.

Music 101

Before You Accuse Me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAjXfytr9rg

Going old school today. This song is better known by Eric Clapton’s cover of it, but the legendary Bo Diddley first recorded this hit in 1957. He released it as a “B-side” to “Hey Bossman.”

Remote Patrol

Game 3: Indians at Blue Jays

TBS 8 p.m.

Jose Bautista has been paying attention to American politics, as he’s now claiming the ALCS is rigged and that the umps are on the Tribe’s side. Riiiiiiiiiight. Cleveland teams, meanwhile, have now won eight in a row since the Cavs trailed 3-1 in the NBA Finals last June.