by John Walters

Starting Five

1. Russ Remains

Everyone’s favorite Oklahoma fashion icon (and two-time All-Star Game MVP), Russell Westbrook, is going to stay with OKC for at least one more year after this one and perhaps two. The exodus of All-Stars (James Harden, traded; Kevin Durant, left on own) stops here.

It’s nice to see the Thunder remain relevant, and meanwhile Westbrook gets a $9 million raise for the upcoming season (from $17.5 mil to $26.5 mil) and then $28 mil next season and an option for $30 mil (THIRTY FREAKIN’ MIL!) in 2018-19.

2.  Tigers Woke

Remember that Sunday (July 24) when the Tigers lost two games to the White Sox, both on walk-off hits, and the big story was Chris Sale’s suspension? Well, Detroit has not lost since that day, winning their 8th straight last night, beating Sale and the ChiSox.  J.D. Martinez, in his first at-bat since mid-June, hit the go-ahead and game-winning home run for the Tigers in the 8th off Sale.

Detroit was just 51-48 at the time but now, at 59-48, they would make the playoffs if they began today (which is something Jason McIntyre wants, I believe). Anyway, think about this: the Yankees and Tigers were both 52-48 after 100 games last week.

(Okay, let’s face it, this daily round-up of world events is far less interesting after a day in which Donald Trump is muzzled, no?)

3. Pu**y Generation Riot

And then, like a bald eagle shot out of a bazooka, here comes Clint Eastwood, 86, to save us from the doldrums. Speaking to Esquire, Dirty Harry called this generation “the pussy generation” and a “kiss-ass generation.”

(For the record, I loved Gran Torino and pretty much hope to one day become Clint’s character in that film; or to at least own a car; or to be gunned down my Asian hoods. Anyway….)

And Clint might have done well to stop there, because he certainly has a point about everything being too P.C. (personally, I blame the media; specifically, Emily Nussbaum). Then he says this:

I haven’t talked to Trump. I haven’t talked to anybody. You know, he’s a racist now because he’s talked about this judge. And yeah, it’s a dumb thing to say. I mean, to predicate your opinion on the fact that the guy was born to Mexican parents or something. He’s said a lot of dumb things. So have all of them. Both sides. But everybody—the press and everybody’s going, ‘Oh, well, that’s racist,’ and they’re making a big hoodoo out of it. Just fucking get over it. It’s a sad time in history.”

4. Avoid: Phoenix

There’s never been a good reason to visit Phoenix, Arizona, in August (unless Phyllis is making manicotti, and even then, just ask her to put it in the freezer). This week things are at Peak Stay Away, as a monsoon slammed the Valley of the Sun with two inches of rain in less than an hour (a former local’s tip: the ground is so hard in Phoenix, because there’s so little rain, that when it does rain, the water has no place to go, so flooding is common) and the serial freeway shooter has apparently returned. Don’t go outside without your umbrella or your Kevlar vest.

5. Let Bee Be

“She was asking for it. A strong cheetah would never allow itself to be subjected to getting shot.” –@EricTrump pic.twitter.com/0df30bELnW

— Full Frontal (@FullFrontalSamB) August 2, 2016

We love Samantha Bee. On Tuesday she took on Eric Trump in a tweet but misidentified the exotic animal that he murdered for sport (someone sent me a Twitter correction as well, as if that was the friggin’ point). Apparently, Bee received a plethora of “Well, actually…” replies herself, which is embarrassing, since after all she is a homonym of a wild creature.

 

For those of you who completely missed the point of our joke, which animal do you feel is pictured above?

— Full Frontal (@FullFrontalSamB) August 2, 2016

So Bee and her Full Frontal staff doubled down in their non-apology. Note to Eric’s dad: THIS is how you show whomever you have offended that you’re really, truly sorry-not-sorry.

Music 101

The Fool On The Hill (Cover)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxEcTO1amRU

I don’t remember much about 1968—I was two and our family didn’t have WiFi—but this song by Sergio Mendes & Brasil ’66, is more deeply embedded in my memory than the Beatles’ original version. Their bossa nova version hit spent six weeks at No. 1 on the Easy Listening chart and achieving more success than John & Paul’s original version. It’s very soothing.

Remote Patrol

The Sky

Outside   All The Time

There’s nothing on TV tonight. Seriously. Go outside and marvel at the wonder of it all, baby.