by John Walters
A Medium Happy 44th to that belle from Saved By The Bell, Elizabeth Berkley
Starting Five
Give ’em hell, Uncle Joe!
United Statements
The DNC sent up a murderer’s row last night with former mayor Mike Bloomberg, vice president Joe “That’s a bunch of malarkey!” Biden and President Barack Obama. I only was able to see Obama’s speech, which was Sorkin-esque and masterful. That Bloomberg, a New York City billionaire who is not a Democrat, would take it upon himself to speak at this forum spoke volumes. His words: “Trump says he wants to run the nation like he’s running his business. God help us. I’m a New Yorker I know a con when I see one.”
Bloomberg closed with, “Let’s elect a sane, competent person.”
(I’ve said it here before, but Bloomberg was my pick for president, and I believe he would have crushed Trump because he’s the sane, actual version of Trump, the Trump that Trump tries to sell voters that he is).
Here’s Obama’s speech. That Kenyan can orate!
2. The End of the Tur
She is not to be de-Tur’ed in her quest (I’m already sorry about that)
Playing the Grace Gummer role from The Newsroom in this year’s election is NBC’s Katy Tur, whom Donald Trump at his press conference yesterday (yes, at least he gives press conferences; give him that) scolded to “Be quiet.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CCg_bzSrUA
Tur has been Trump’s gadfly much of the past year, and what a book she must be able to write. But then, the 32 year-old reporter already has enough material to fill a manuscript. She lived with Keith Olbermann for three years (2006-2009) and her father is Zoey Tur, the transgender helicopter pilot (if I had a nickel for every time I’ve written that phrase…) who was such an engaging interview in O.J.: Made In America. You’ll recall that it was Zoey who first found the white Bronco as it was heading up the 405 back to O.J.’s home.
3. When Prince Met Will Hunting
Submitted without further comment, Matt Damon‘s tale about the time he, his wife, and his oldest daughter attended a Prince concert in London. Yet another incredible Prince tale.
4. Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone
After five episodes, Any Given Wednesday isn’t even close to being as good as After The Thrones.
Bill Simmons‘ new show, after five episodes, is not particularly terrible, but it’s definitely nowhere near approaching the standards of HBO. And there’s no shortage of local on-air personalities coast-to-coast who are more insightful and trenchant interviewers. Let me enumerate my problems with the program:
- Simmons has now twice devoted segments to DeflateGate and has twice managed a way to get the equivalent of Vines of his own son on air. Would you even know John Oliver is married and has kids after a year of his show? The point is, this is more of a vanity project for Simmons than it is about entertaining an audience. The Judge Joe Brown segment last night with close buddy Michael Rapaport was at least inspired, but it came off as something that they probably couldn’t wait to show their own friends, not realizing that the rest of us really just don’t care.
- The interviews, especially with celebs, are boring fan-boy softball fests. Here’s Bob Costas on his HBO show more than a decade ago with a tense interview with Vince McMahon. It’s compelling TV.
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3. Get angry more. Get riled up. Talk about stuff you really care about, talk to people you disagree with, or can’t stand. Explore your own views and, I know this is difficult for anyone from Boston to do, examine your own preconceived notions of everything.
- Have a gameplan for your interviews. Don’t just take a card someone handed you with 5-10 questions and try to hit those marks. Make it like a good first date. Establish continuity. A conversation. Develop some sort of chemistry.
5. The Cat Is Your Expert Witness
The feline knows who did it….
As HBO’s The Night Of slowly evolves into Oz (starring Omar from The Wire), the producers took two scenes from Episode 3 to subtly nudge their audience toward Nas’s potential “Get Out Of Jail Forever” card. You see, as I wrote after Episode 1, the key moment in the girl’s murder is when the ground floor gate does not click shut after she lets the cat out. As an Upper West Sider myself, I’m sort of familiar with this concept (and I own a cat).
So, here in Episode 3, we have defense lawyer John Stone (John Turturro) nudge the gate open and there’s the kitty cat waiting to be let inside. John sees quickly that this is the cat’s home, but he is yet to have the “A ha!” moment in which he realizes he was able to push open the gate without turning the handle. That the gate was not locked.
In the second scene with the kitty, he takes it to a pound and learns that the cat will now have 10 days to live (Nas, also in lockup, may have fewer). Anyway, I don’t think the producers have made this clue overt yet, they’ve kept it subtle. But this is the key to Nas’s exoneration. Demonstrating, first, that the apartment was never secure (the second part is going to be explaining how/why Nas got down to the kitchen and the third is how come there was no blood on him after the victim was stabbed 22 times; there’s no bloody clothes, there’s no blood on him except for his hand).
Music 101
Dream Police
In the late Seventies, back when these things mattered, there was no cooler rock band T-shirt to be seen in than Cheap Trick‘s (great logo). I still think it’s comical that Robin Zander, Bun E. Carlos, Rick Nielsen and the Fourth Guy were enshrined in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame before Yes or Journey (among others), but how many other bands had three of their songs poorly rendered in Fast Times at Ridgemont High (a film written by Cameron Crowe, a Rolling Stone alum)?
The song, and album of the same name, were released in 1979, and the song rose to No. 26 on the Billboard chart.
Remote Patrol
DNC
All the channels, all the time
Will America elect its first grandmother president?
We’ve made it, America. Tonight, the 8th and final night of the political conventions. From Melania and Scott Baio to “Vote Your Conscience” to “Buh-LIEVE Me!” to hacked emails to Bernie Bros to Malarkey to, at last, tonight: Hillary. Will she address her deleted emails and her private server? Explicitly? Tune i.
It gets really hard to talk politics with anyone when they always want to resort to calling you a “liberal” or a “conservative”. It isn’t a black or white situation. Ideas are fluid.
As for Donald Trump, he really makes it hard to not vote for Hillary. Politics is a crap show, I get it. There are skeletons in everyone’s closet. But for goodness sakes, Trump can’t seem to get his head out of his own ass.
I enjoy your objective takes on the political spectrum. You apply that same logic to CFB, where I first started following you, and apply it to everything. Great quality.
Since this election will come down to the swing voters (as opposed to the SCHWING! voters – they would vote for Melania), which of the Dems’ lineup of heavy hitters will they use most frequently to campaign in the swing states? Bill Clinton, who carried a lot of moderates in ’92 and ’96? President Obama, whom is getting a Jeter-like farewell lovefest but still has Obamacare baggage in a lot of the country? Biden, who is suddenly everyone’s favorite goofy uncle? Or could it be Bloomberg, if he would do it? Is it possible that a Jewish New York City billionaire could be the difference in Iowa, Wisconsin, Nevada, etc.? If the only way to beat a New York financial mogul is to trot out your own, who has done BETTER and has credibility on the subject, why not?
’92 and ’96, I meant (re Clinton). JW, your comments section could use an edit function.
JW,
I’d like to pose this question to you (or anyone reading, for that matter):
When it comes to postsecondary education, what is the definition of a “great” college? I’ve posited that an educated individual encompasses traits such as hard work, ambition, etc. There are many individuals, I believe, that pass up opportunities at “elite” colleges to attend in-state universities, so they don’t have to take on debt.
Only a student’s perspective. I have been interested in the topic for a year now. With the campaign tours heating up, I thought I’d pose the question. I figure you have many Notre Dame alums reading.
I don’t think there’s one answer to that, and I had the luxury of attending a great college when one year didn’t cost the equivalent of one year’s salary at median income.
For me, Notre Dame was the right place because it combined a rigorous education with outstanding institutional values and the best possible classmates I could imagine. They were smart, but also decent and mostly self-deprecating and hilarious. I couldn’t have had a better experience.
But everyone is different. The first thing to do is to think about your goals and what you want from an education (little or no debt may be one of those things). Then, look around, and finally, know in your heart that attending Michigan is a terrible idea.
A part of me wishes I thought like this at the age of 17, not 21. I get a refund check every semester, which essentially means I get paid to go to college, but Nebraska certainly doesn’t fit me. First world problems, I know. Won’t turn your comment section into my soap box, but think a conversation on what an education at a postsecondary institution should be started (or, rather, continued). Magical to think people build friendships in college. Perhaps graduate school…
Serious note: Where are you Susie B.? I know zilch about the Tour de France and was relying on your detailed daily reports. Please don’t tell me you went to Cleveland last week and got lost…
I didn’t think anyone else here really cared about/for the Tour de France so thought I’d limit my comments this year. Now that I know I have an enthusiastic audience, WELL, it was the, ahem, “BEST OF TIMES, IT WAS THE WORST OF TIMES!”! Sure, that can pretty much sum up EVERY Tour but this year it was in HD, if you get my drift. There was Team Death Star (AKA Team Sky – of the $35 million payroll which is 3-10 , yes, 10 TIMES that of every other Tour team) which once again so thoroughly dominated that by half-way, the only possibility that their leader Chris Froome would lose the race would be if he’d fall off his bike AND break an arm or leg. Which, ok, COULD have happened, especially on the final Friday, a mountain stage with one of the few summit finishes in this year’s Tour & where it rained cats, dogs, donkeys & scattered bike parts. Crashes galore! Froome actually did do a spectacular slip & slide across the tarmac & killed his bike but one of his trusty henchmen (alright, teammate) rode up within 30 seconds & gave him his bike to finish the stage. So, literally, “all was not lost”. Earlier in the race, on fabled Mt Ventoux, Froomey also had a crash & bike death, although this time there were no teammates nearby (sacre bleu! I think that was the ONLY time in the entire 3 weeks he did NOT have 4-5 teammates surrounding him like Gladwrap, new nickname for Froomey – ‘Mr Cellophane’) & he then infamously tried jogging up the 10% incline in bike cleats while hemmed in on both sides AND front & back by delirious/drunk/crazed/out of control fans. Actually, this 3-man bike crash/pile-up was allegedly caused by the out-of-control fans & the Tour’s owners/organizers’ stubborn unwillingness to adapt to TODAY’S reality for fan control & race security. It all came to a head on Bastille Day on what was supposed to be THE “Queen stage” (i.e. the most impactful of the race) of this year’s Tour. Instead, it will now go down in the record books as the official clusterfuck of all time (at least till next year).
Tour fans barely had any time to scream/bitch/complain/rejoice over the turn of events on Ventoux (the race orgs decided to basically negate the time loss for the impacted 3 due to the ‘unforeseen/not their fault circumstances’) because of what happened later that evening a mere 150 miles away (the terrorist attack in Nice).
Anyhoo, the Tour continued (although less joyously) & the only real competitive action concerned the battle for the other 2 steps of the final Paris podium. It was pretty good too UNTIL that final Friday & Saturday when the blasted rain came & completely outstayed its welcome! The Friday I mentioned above saw lots of movement up & down the GC leader list, largely but not totally because of the rain & resulting ice-rink roads (‘crashes to the left of me, mayhem to the right!’) & then Saturday, when the rain started early & steadily almost all day, the top 5 guys pretty much waved the white flag on this multi-mountain/dangerous descents stage which resulted in a disappointing (but understandable) stage.
In other Tour highlights, “aging” Mark Cavendish (‘Cav’) sprinted back to once again claim the unofficial ‘King of the Fast Men’ crown by winning 4 stages. I was thrilled as most had written him off over the past couple years. He has now won an astounding 30 Tour stages, the 2nd most in history & 2nd only to The Cannibal (Eddy Merkx). I hope he breaks the record. The overall Green jersey winner however was once again, Peter the Great (Sagan), 5th straight time. Even though his Bevis (Butthead?) voice is like fingernails on a chalkboard to me, the guy is one hell of a bike racer & a complete character. Next to Froome, he is THE biggest star in the sport.
As usual, the Tour ended on the Champs in Paris, but with MUCH more security than in years past. I speak for all Tour de France fans – even when you hate the Tour, you LOVE the Tour. It has & is everything! A sporting competition, the ultimate physical/mental/emotional endurance contest, a TEAM event albeit with one crowned “winner”, at times a soap opera, comedy, & tragic-farce. Shakespeare would feel at home AND inspired.
As for Cleveland last week, one would think that being a farm girl I would have felt at home in the QLA, what with all that bullshit flying around. But no, I had no desire to witness what is either the largest mass brainwashing in history or the most overwhelming proof yet that our education system is a abject FAILURE.
Susie B.,
I think you meant, “our education system is AN abject failure.” 🙂
It shows how much I lack any knowledge in professional biking, but I had no clue there was such a thing as “teams” that participated.
And if you wrote that off the cuff, bravo. Enjoy the Olympics.
Oh gawd, I was hoping you didn’t see that typo. And it was a typo, I swear! I didn’t see it till I posted & printed & thought of ALL places to have a typo! It’s almost as bad as those idiots who tweet/comment “Your a moron”.
On the other hand, I did go to public school, a state university & grad school. 😉
And let me get this straight – Netflix puts out some kind of sneak peak of ‘The Gilmore Girls’ revival & we hear not a peep from MR GILMORE GUY?!
What is happening here?! Watching/tweeting the conventions got you down? Well, in the immortal words of Cher – “SNAP OUT OF IT!!”
And let me get this straight – Netflix puts out some kind of sneak peak of ‘The Gilmore Girls’ revival & we hear not a peep from MR GILMORE GUY?!
What is happening here?! Watching/tweeting the conventions got you down? Well, in the immortal words of Cher – “SNAP OUT OF IT!!”