by John Walters

Starting Five

Baton Rouge, Summer, 2016

At least they didn’t have a fire hose on her. There’s some progress, I guess, in the past 50 years. Or is there? Could we pay for every police department in the country to have the entire series of The Andy Griffith Show on DVD and make it required viewing? I’m not even kidding.

Meanwhile, I mean, really? Why?

You were twice as likely to be attacked by a shark in the United States in 2015 as be an unarmed black man shot by the police. #staywoke

— Clay Travis (@ClayTravis) July 10, 2016

 

2. Flagrant One

Meanwhile in East Lansing, Golden State Warrior forward/emotional leader/serial testicle knocker Draymond Green was arrested Sunday for assault. The “altercation between two guys,” as policed put it, in the town where Green attended college (Michigan State) took place at Conrad’s Grill. Green faces a court hearing on July 20 and likely won’t serve the maximum sentence (90 days) or any sentence because his defense will be that he did not intend to hit the victim and that “that’s just the way he dines.”

3. Tim Duncan: 19 Years, 5 Rings, 1 Franchise

NBA players who have spent entire career with one team for a duration longer than Tim Duncan’s 19-year career with the San Antonio Spurs: Kobe Bryant (20 seasons). Both men won five rings and both retired this year. Duncan spent at least 14 seasons with two other future Hall of Famers, Manu Ginobili and Tony Parker, while Kobe had a fractious relationship with one (Shaq) if not more (Dwight Howard, though he may not make Springfield.). My story on Duncan, who from my research had the longest career with one team, one coach, of anyone in the major three pro sports, in Newsweek.

4. Serena at 22

We didn’t forget; we just ran out of space. Serena Williams won her 22nd Grand Slam on Saturday and her 7th Wimbledon. It’s kind of hard to believe, watching her steamroll Angelique Kerber (who played very, very well), that she managed not to win the past three Grand Slams.

Anyway, Williams is now tied with Steffi Graf for the most Grand Slam titles (and, coincidentally, breakfasts; they’ve both never dined at Denny’s) in the Open era at 22. That means tickets for the final Saturday at the U.S. Open this September will be through the roof (even if, happily, it still does not have a roof) so fans can say they saw Serena break Steffi’s mark. Of course, there’s no way of assuring that Serena will advance that far (she didn’t last September), but you can’t know that before you buy the tickets, now can you.

The gentlemen’s Wimbledon final was won by Scotland’s Andy Murray (“Present”).

5. Amazon’s Prime

Amazon founder Jeff Bezos is on the cover of Newsweek this week (just like “Me and Julio Down By the School Yard”) and his company’s stock will open at an all-time high of $758.90. It is Amazon Prime Day, which is touted as being even bigger than Black Friday in regards to deals. As someone who no longer shops (Food and rent and decent lagers), I’m immune to this thing you call consumerism, but I hear it’s done wonders for Jeff’s bank account.

Things I didn’t know about Jeff Bezos: His mom gave birth to him in Albuquerque when she was a teen, the dad left the picture a year later (not unlike Steve Jobs’ story), and his stepfather is a Cuban immigrant, Miguel Bezos (hence the surname). He was raised in Houston and later Miami, then attended Princeton and later moved on to Wall Street. Judging from his age, his Princeton degree and his time on Wall Street in the late-’80s, I’d guess he’d have to have known Michael Lewis, which makes me wonder how come Lewis has yet to write a book on him.

Music 101 

No Myth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zh9z8agFqdE

My first winter in New York City, I’d walk to work from the Upper East Side to midtown with the Sony Walkman playing my latest mix tape. And this song from Michael Penn, Sean’s younger brother, was one I’d always look forward (or fast forward….ask your parents) to hearing. Penn is Sean Penn’s younger brother and the husband of the lovely Aimee Mann, so he’s got a lot more going for him than a pair of black jeans.

Remote Patrol

MLB All-Star Game

8 p.m. FOX

In my never-ending search to find what everyone isn’t already looking at, I give you Nolan Arenado. The Colorado Rockies 3rd baseman is 25 and has already won three Gold Gloves, led the National League in both home runs AND RBI last year and is currently second and first in those categories this season. Has yet to start an All-Star Game or make the cover of SI. He’s not Mike Trout or Bryce Harper and we’ve yet to be told we should care about him, I guess. The Newport Beach area native will be in San Diego tonight, backing up Kris Bryant at 3rd.