by John Walters

Thank heaven.

Starting Five

1. Brock of Ages

There’s The Rock and then there’s The Brock (I’m not enough of a wrestling fan to know if these two have ever met in the ring). Brock Lesnar won by decision at UFC 200, which isn’t terribly thrilling, but look at him! I mean, how is he not the head of Cersei’s Queen’s Guard? Anyway, Lesnar won on Saturday evening, but the real winners are the UFC, who later in the weekend announced they’d been sold for (pinky to edge of mouth), “Four BILLION dollars!” The buyer: WME-IMG. Dana White will remain president.

2. The Ring-er

That’s five World Series rings and one wedding ring. The “captain, Derek Jeter, No. 2, Derek Jeter.” The bride, Hannah Davis, has also appeared on the cover of Sports Illustrated, but I don’t believe they are the first couple to hold this distinction.

I believe that title goes to Ray Knight and Nancy Lopez, who were wed in 1982. Others who were under consideration include Andre Agassi and Steffi Graf (wed in 2001), Nomar Garciaparra and Mia Hamm (2003), and  Greg Norman and Chris Evert (married in 2008, divorced in 2010). Andy Roddick and Brooklyn Decker do not, because I can’t find an SI in which Andy made the cover (his bride did, though). Janet Jones never was an SI swimsuit model prior to marrying Wayne Gretzky.

The couple reportedly wed on Saturday in Napa Valley, but we’ve yet to read anything about it on The Players’ Tribune.

3. Hamil-done

Alexander Hamilton was the role of a lifetime for Lin-Manuel Miranda and Alexander Hamilton. You could say that each created the role, too. Hamilton left to a mortal gunshot wound on a hillside just across the Hudson River from Manhattan in 1804. Miranda left to a final curtain call on Saturday evening just a couple miles east of that spot, with J Lo in the audience.

Leslie Odom, Jr., who won a Tony playing Aaron Burr, and Philippa Soo, who played Hamilton’s wife, Eliza, also departed after more than a year of performances. Looking forward to the play Benjamin Franklin, coming some time soon I’d suppose.

4. Portugal Tackles Euro

Cristiano Ronaldo suffered a leg boo boo in the first half and left the match, and everything seemed tilted in host nation France’s favor in the Euro 2016 final. Both sides came agonizingly close to scoring, but neither team’s shots found their purchase.

Then, in the 109th minute, Eder of Portugal pulled off a Stephen Curry move, taking a pass and dribbling toward the center of the pitch, then firing a grass-burning missile back against the grain to the lower left corner of the net (a shot taken from just outside the penalty box) and whizzing past the outstretched arms of keeper Hugo Lloris.

It was a wonderful story line, Les Bleus, but Portugal spoiled it.

5. Happy Trials To You

A few highlights of the just-completed U.S. Track & Field Olympic Trials from Eugene:

—Bernard “LaGOAT” Lagat, at the age of 41, wins the Men’s 5,000 to qualify for his fifth Olympics (while one competitor heavily implied he’s doping).

—Johnny Dutch, our new favorite Olympic name, was in first place coming over the final hurdle in the 400M hurdles, but ran out of gas and finished fifth. No Olympics for Dutch.

–Notre Dame alum Molly Huddle won both the women’s 10,000 and 5,000, but will only run the 10,000 in Rio.

—Allyson Felix, who was the gold medalist in the 200 in London, lost out on the third and final Olympic berth in that event by 1/100th of a second to former Oregon Duck Jenna Prandini. Felix will still compete in the 400.

—Matthew Centrowitz simply owned the 5,000 1500, winning in 3:34, a time that would’ve taken gold at all but one Olympics before 1996. He was on another level.

—Jenny Simpson won the 1500 to make her third Olympic team before the age of 30.

—Sydney McLaughlin, who turns 17 on August 7th, made the Olympic team by finishing 3rd in the 400M hurdles. The senior-to-be (oops: “rising senior”) at Union Catholic High School in Scotch Plains, N.J., is totally going to make varsity next year.

Music 101

California

This 2003 song by Phantom Planet went on to HUGE-dom once The O.C. adopted it as its theme song back in the early aughts (congrats, guys, you’re The Rembrandts of the 21st century). Also noteworthy because their drummer was Jason Schwartzman of Rushmore and Bored To Death fame. Is also the son of Talia Shire, who just happened to be in two of the best films of all-time: The Godfather and Rocky. For some reason, the song peaked at No. 35 here but shot to No. 2 in Italy. The Corleone Effect? Anyway, this one’s dedicated to Kevin Durant.

Remote Patrol

NBA Summer League

8 p.m. ESPN2

Watched the Lakers-Sixers game on Saturday evening, which was understandably LIT as it featured the top two picks in last month’s NBA draft, Ben Simmons and Brandon Ingram. Still, the entire energy of the Las Vegas Summer League has changed. It’s sort of like how Vegas transformed itself in the early ’90s from a vacation destination your parents went to in order to see fading stars perform to THE place for wild adventures for young place. “What happens in Vegas….”, etc. Tonight you have a doubleheader: Heat-Nuggets, followed by Kings-Pelicans. Enjoy