Starting Five
1. “I”ll tell you what, the uprights extend through the heavens…” Al Michaels citing a little-known phrase (check 2nd video) in the NFL rule book. Baltimore 31, New England 30. Listen, Bill: As long as you coach the Pats and as long as the rest of us can remember the term “tuck rule”, you’re not going to get any sympathy from anyone who does not pronounce it “chowdah.”
2. “Jon, you gave a tremendous performance this year, and I for one am shocked that you did not win tonight… Too soon?” Emmy host Jimmy Kimmel pokes fun at Mad Men’s Jon Hamm, the George Clooney of television. (Mad Men had an unprecedented 17 nominations, yet picked up no statuettes.)
3. Mark Dantonio goes all Soup Nazi during his post game press conference after the Spartans’ desultory 23-7 victory over Eastern Michigan in East Lansing. NEXT QUESTION.
4. Notre Dame finally defeats Michigan exorcises the demon of Denard Robinson with a 13-6 win. Tommy Rees picks up his second save of the season and is now in contention for the Rolaids Relief Man of the Year in the FBS.
Rollie. Rees. Rolaids Relief.
After all, both have won at Yankee Stadium.
5. Wanting it in the American League East: In just the past ten days the New York Yankees have gone on a seven-game win streak, the Baltimore Orioles a six-game win streak and the Tampa Fay Wrays a five-game win streak.
Reserves
“I can’t believe Bill Belichick just did that.” Cris Collinsworth on Belichick grabbing a replacement referee. Although, to be fair, that phrase has been uttered by opposing NFL coaches and cuckolded husbands for years.
So the Emmys were boring? Maybe HBO should air them. As Jimmy Kimmel mostly pointed out, the show’s name itself can be distilled into “My” and “Me.”
Drama Series: Breaking Bad Mad Men Homeland.
Comedy Series: Modern Family
“The 22 years I’ve been living, this is the most disappointed I’ve been in myself.” Michigan quarterback Denard Robinson after throwing four interceptions and fumbling in the red zone — on his birthday — in the Wolverines’ loss at Notre Dame.
Why, yes, the WNBA regular season did come to a close and it was the Washington Mystakes (5-29), losers of their final 13 games, that will have the best chance of landing Brittney Griner next spring.
Variety, Music or Comedy: The Daily Show
“Where are you going, sweetheart?” “I’m headed to the maul.” David Villalobos, 25, leaps from Bronx Zoo monorail into tiger pen because “I wanted to be one with the tiger.” Villalobos survived, and the only reason we can ascertain for this miracle is that he must have been wearing his cinammon cologne (“Tigers hate cinammon; they love pepper”).
Cats off-Broadway
Actress, Drama Series: Angela Chase Claire Danes
For what it’s worth, an anagram of Romney is R-Money.
Avalanche in Nepal. At least eight climbers, and perhaps three more, scaling the planet’s eighth-tallest peak, Manaslu, perish in an avalanche. Somewhere Jon Krakauer’s ears just perked up.
The world’s eighth-tallest peak claims at least eight climbers
Supporting Actor, Drama Series: This dude who once finished second on The Price is Right “Showcase Showdown.”
Seth Meyers (and how has he not won an Emmy?) to President Obama: Zip it!
After nearly a six-year drought Notre Dame is finally able to get all Neil Everett about its AP ranking.
Meyers deserves an Emmy. As Mark Dantonio says, “Players make plays.”
- IAH is a Hader lover
Supporting Actress, Drama Series: Minerva McGonagall Maggie Smith
Supporting Actress, Comedy Series: Carol Vessey Julie Bowen
Old Dominion quarterback Taylor Heineke completes 55 of 79 passes for an NCAA Division I record 730 yards in a 64-61 defeat of New Hampshire. Heineke’s 79 attempts without a pick is an all-divisions NCAA record and has Denard Robinson going “Day-umm.” The previous week Heineke had thrown seven TD passes. Does the name Gordie Lockbaum mean anything to you?
Supporting Actor, Comedy Series: Eric Stonestreet (“Keep it gay, keep it gay, keep it gay!”)
Actress, Comedy Series: Elaine Benes Julia Louis-Dreyfuss
Actor, Comedy Series: Ducky Jon Cryer
While researching Gordie Lockbaum, we came across this November 10, 1986 cover of Sports Illustrated. Glad they solved that problem.
Notre Dame bits of tid: The Irish have yet to trail this season and have outscored opponents 58-13 in the first half. Meanwhile, tight end Tyler Eifert, practically the consensus preseason choice as first-team All-American and Mackey Award winner, has one catch in the past two games (psst: It’s not his fault).
Oklahoma loses at home to Kansas State. It’s the first loss at home against a ranked opponent in the Bob Stoops era after 14 consecutive wins. The Sooners’ most popular player is their second-string quarterback (Bell Dozer!). That’s a problem.
On his 63rd birthday Bruce Springsteen took the stage at Met Life Stadium (in New Jersey!) at 10:30 p.m. and played until 2 a.m. Or, what Guns ‘n Roses used to call “office hours.”
So it was 114 degrees on the red carpet at the Emmys. Expect a spate of climate change made-for-TV movies next year.
Heidi Klum. Va. Va. Voom.