by John Walters

Starting Five

1. Stark-ness On The Edge Of Town

Bran (Muffin) Stark is beginning to realize that his father, Ned, was not exactly the hero he thought (and might that be his aunt Leanna up there in the tower and might she not be the mother of his half-brother, Jon Snow?)….A girl has eyes once more….Ricon Stark is the unwitting guest of the worlds’ nastiest person (and Game Of Thrones’s best actor?), Ramsay Bolton….and Jon Snow drops the mic after executing the four men who killed him (“You shouldn’t be here,” says one, and let’s face it, he’s right), giving his pal his cloak and walking out of Castle Black while intoning, “My watch has ended.”

What’s the use of defending The Wall from Wildings when the real monsters are to the south of you? White Walkers or Boltons, the end would be the same, no? Jon Snow is definitely a NeverTrump figure.

As has been pointed out on the Twitters, though, Jon Snow did fulfill his requirement to the Black Watch, serving until death. No one ever wrote anything about serving until after death.

Meanwhile, Danaerys (Jon’s half-sister?) Targaryen finds herself in a Khals’ Widows Shelter, where she will undoubtedly catch up on episodes of Matlock and Murder: She Wrote. 

Question: Why are Tyrion and his new friends worrying about how to attack three powerful factions outside Mereen? Don’t they now have two dragons at their disposal?

2. Greg Bryant

A bizarre and tragic story out of West Palm Beach, Florida, as former Notre Dame running back Greg Bryant is shot and killed in the wee hours of Saturday morning while driving on I-95. His unidentified passenger survived with minor injuries.

There are no details or leads as of yet. Bryant was, at the time, a HUGE get for the Irish in 2013. ESPN considered the five-star back the No. 2 prep running back in the country. He had two carries for 12 yards in the season opener versus Temple his freshman year, but he ran into “team rule” trouble with Brian Kelly and found himself below classmate Tarean Folston on the depth chart.

At this time last year we were wondering if he could be the 2015 starter, but he left school in late August after he was ruled ineligible for the 2015 season. He was living out of a hotel room in south Florida and attending a juco there before accepting a scholarship offer from the University of Alabama-Birmingham, a program that, like Bryant, was trying to resurrect itself.

Bryant was declared brain dead early Sunday afternoon. He was 21 years old.

3. A Walk on the Wild (North Side)

The Chicago Cubs are now 24-6 after a four-game sweep of the Washington Natties in which Mad Joe Maddon, the Cubs’ innovative skipper, had his pitchers walk Bryce Harper, baseball’s best hitter, 13 times. Thirteen!

This on the same weekend in which the second half of Game 3 between the Cavs and Hawks opened with an intentional foul of Tristan Thompson. Can’t fault the coaches/managers for exploiting the rules to their advantage, but it’s this type of chicanery that may compel me to start reading books or exercising in my leisure time.

The Cubs, by the way, have the best record after 30 games since the 1984 Detroit “Bless You, Boys” Tigers, who won the World Series. We’re about a week away from someone declaring that Kris Bryant/Joe Maddon/Jake Arrieta is “ruining” baseball.

4. Flori-Duh

In the town of St. Cloud, a few miles south of Orlando, a mom and her adult son, Nicholas Middledorf, 28, go out drinking. They arrive home with some food, apparently, and an argument over a cheeseburger breaks out between Nicholas and his younger brother, Benjamin Middledorf (we’ll assume they’re full brothers, but this is Florida, soooo…..).

The argument escalates and Benjamin grabs a gun. Shoots his brother dead. So, Happy Mother’s Day.

5. Colon Blow

You’re never too old (or too heavy) to hit your first Major League home run. After 18-plus seasons and 249 at-bats, Met pitcher Bartolo Colon blasted his first home run in San Diego on Saturday. Colon, 42 years old and packing 285 pounds (at least) on his 5’11” frame, hit a shot over the left field wall over former All-Star James Shields. The portly pitcher becomes immortalized as the oldest player to hit his first Major League home run.

p.s. It was his first hit of the season, too,

A Reminder….

Music 101

Once In A Lifetime

“And you may tell yourself, ‘This is not my beautiful house’/And you may tell yourself, ‘This is not my beautiful wife'” Does it say something about America’s collective IQ that this brilliant 1981 tune by Talking Heads never even charted in the Top 100? AllMusic.com critic Steve Huey described its theme as “the drudgery of living life according to social expectations, and pursuing commonly accepted trophies (a large automobile, beautiful house, beautiful wife).” Wikipedia adds, “Although the singer has these trophies, he begins to question whether they are real and how he got them. This leads him to question further the reality of his life itself, providing the existential element.”

Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1wg1DNHbNU

Remote Patrol

Game 4: Warriors at Blazers

TNT 10:30 p.m.

Draymond Green scored 37 points in Stephen Curry’s absence in Game 3 Saturday night, but Damian Lillard posted 40 and the Blazers won, 120-108. Curry will sit out again tonight as Portland attempts to even up the series.