by John Walters

Starting Five

1. Sex, Losses and Videotape

hmmm i see D Angelo Russell is trending… I actually liked his film. Thanks bro.

— IGGY AZALEA (@IGGYAZALEA) March 30, 2016

D’Angelo Russell is 19 and he’s also the No. 2 pick in last June’s NBA draft. Plays for the 15-59 LOLakers. Recently, Russell secretly taped 30 year-old teammate Nick Young—we all know and love him as “Swaggy P”—as he cajoled Young, who is engaged to Iggy Azalea, into talking about his extracurricular activities.

The tape got put onto the internet. Now all of the Lakers are running isolation plays on Young.

I like that this is happening. It’s like the Lakers’ own goodbye present to Kobe, one final reminder of how crazy life in the NBA could be. Oh, and can you imagine what life would be like for Russell if he had made Kobe-in-his-prime the target of his ill-considered prank?

And can you imagine if Russell had done this to Matt Barnes? It would be total TEMECULA!

2. Town Hell

Confession: The GOP Town Hall is, at this point of the race, far more entertaining than another debate. We’re over the bickering and the “I have a big weiner” boasts. This is more like Perma-Frost/Nixon, especially with White Walker Anderson Cooper handling the chores. Top quotes from last night:

“My view on welfare is that it should be a trampoline, not a hammock.” — Ted Cruz

“Security, security and security.” — Donald Trump, asked to name the three top functions of government.

“When I let Washington (as a U.S. Senator, at the end of the Clinton administration), there was a $5 trillion surplus. And guess who spent it? The Republicans.” –John Kasich (he really doesn’t understand how this game works, does he?)

“I didn’t start it!” — Trump “With all due respect, that’s the argument of a five year-old.” –Cooper

3. Blessed Are The Shotmakers

I know my former colleague Seth Davis, a Duke alum, well enough to understand just how much he loves college basketball. He is living his dream life. He gets to write about college basketball for the magazine of his youth, Sports Illustrated. He gets to opine about college basketball on national TV alongside giants, both literal and figurative, of past NCAA tournaments. He gets to go to the Final Four, stay in nice hotels and occupy a grand stage during the tournament.

If you told 22 year-old Seth Davis he’d be doing this, he’d gladly do it for free. But he’s not doing it for free. He’s beyond BLESSED to be doing this, but he’s not doing it for free. Or for a scholarship and room and board. No sir.

I don’t disagree that these players have a good situation, and I think it’ll take another team such as 1990 UNLV (a team that is a repeat champion would be a higher probability) to stage a strike. I’m just curious that a person who earns high six figures talking and writing about college hoops has the nerve to tell players how blessed they are without even, in a cursory manner, noting the irony of the fact that he’s earning a large sum off this event without ever once having suited up.

4. It’s Garry Shandling’s Court

I love this. Garry Shandling staged a weekly Sunday afternoon hoops game at his home (three on three, up to 7, win by 2), so last Sunday a few of his friends, including Sarah Silverman and Judd Apatow (both noted fans of Easter Sunday), staged a final game in his honor.

Hoping it never happens, but at SI our Garry Shandling would be Jack McCallum, who annually staged a golf tourney at his house. He was the mentor to a bunch of young writers, many of whom you now know well. Like Shandling, Jack is brilliant and funny but is just as well-known for how much he made SI feel like a family.

5. Bloom’s Day

Happened upon this last night. Rachel Bloom, star of “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend,” explains to host Stephen Colbert how “Anything Can Be a Musical.”

Reserves

As someone noted, “Michael Stipe has embraced his inner craft-beer brewer.” The former REM lead singer pays tribute to David Bowie on Jimmy Fallon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hF2ed7ouU3o

*****

Did Molly Huddle cheat? Well, um, this is not at all sportsmanlike. From the March 20 NYC Half Marathon (I think I finished fourth). Go to :35

At least she’s learned something from last August in Beijing:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5v5GKFUYkwA

Music 101

Falling From The Sky

This is a 2013 tune from Calexico, a two-man band from Tucson, Arizona. This is what happens when you put me in a car for two hours and allow me to tune in to listener-supported WFUV.

Remote Patrol

Texas Western vs. Kentucky

7:30 p.m. ESPN

The WWL has stepped back from the authenticity of the game footage claim, but it still should be fun to watch how much simpler college hoops was 50 years ago. And notice how players don’t palm the basketball or, ahem, Eurostep (because that’s traveling). Memo to Clay Travis: take the Miners and the points.

p.s. I had the honor of fact-checking a wonderful Curry Kirkpatrick bonus piece (you’d call it a longform) on this game when I was a wee lad of 24. It’s a fine complement to your viewing. I miss Curry’s type of style in SI. Dearly.