by John Walters
A Medium Happy 75th to the smoking hot Faye Dunaway, who had the Hollywood market cornered on fabulous babe roles for a awhile: Bonnie & Clyde, The Thomas Crown Affair, Chinatown, Three Days of the Condor, Network. It was quite a run.
Starting Five
Almost 20 hours without Apple TV. Positively inhumane!
“America Held Hostage, Day–What? Already!?! Never Mind”
Once upon a time, when Ben Affleck was just a lad, a group of Americans were taken hostage in Iran, and a star (Ted Koppel) and a television show (Nightline) were born in order to cover it. I believe the hostage crisis lasted 444 days.
Earlier this week 10 U.S. sailors went Rob Konrad in the Persian Gulf and were taken prison by the Iranian military. Then they were released the following morning, as if Iran has a noon checkout. Oh, well.
Iran Hostage Crisis, 1979: “This is the worst game of piñata I’ve ever played.”
2. Chino CasinoSlacker
There was one Powerball winner and he or she or it or they purchased it in Chino Hills, California. UPDATE: Apparently, there were three Powerball winners, and one was from Chino Hills. Oh, well.
Chino Hills, located in southeastern San Bernadino County, directly east of L.A. County yet, is ranked No. 6 in terms of per capita income for towns its size (65,000-200,000). That ranking is about to go up.
This was good: The winning lottery ticket from the Manitowoc County Sheriff’s Department
3. Stars 69
By Grabthar’s hammer, you shall be avenged, Alan.
A second 69 year-old Brit passes away this week, as beloved actor Alan Rickman dies. You may know him better for Die Hard or the Harry Potter films, but I’ll always love him for Galaxy Quest.
4. Best Actor?
Steven Avery’s ex appeared on Nancy Grace last night and called him a “monster.” So, there’s that….
The Oscar nominations were just released. I’ll Bold what I’d like to see win:
Best Picture: The Big Short, Bridge of Spies, Brooklyn, Mad Max: Fury Road, The Martian, Room, Revenant, Spotlight.
Best Actor: Bryan Cranston, Matt Damon, Leo DiCaprio, Michael Fassbender, Eddie Redmayne
Best Actress: Cate Blanchett, Brie Larson, Jennifer Lawrence, Charlotte Rampling, Saiorse Ronan. (If you get what I mean).
5. What’s Up, Doc*
The judges will also accept “Hello, Newman!” or “Do You Make Blouse Calls” or “Thank God He Didn’t Do In-Patient Care” or “Not The Shot I Requested”
A 22-year old woman in Manhattan visits the ER at Mount Sinai hospital on Monday night complaining of pain in her right shoulder. She gets one shot of morphine. Then the attending physician, Dr. David Newman, 45, gives her a second shot of morphine when it is just the two of them alone in the room. According to the woman, he fondled both of her breasts (do we ever use the verb “fondle” in any other way?) and then, after turning his back to her and allegedly masturbating, turned back and ejaculated on her face.
If this is what Obamacare has wrought, I’m beginning to see their point….
Music 101
Time To Pretend
As in, “time to pretend I know anything about modern music since the White Stripes hung up their brother-sister act.” Anyway, I’m not too caught up on the kid’s tunes these days years, but occasionally a tune has such an infectious hook that even I pick up on it. And, with the news that the L Train may be closing down for a year (Note to self: Open ferry service from Williamsburg to Manhattan), I wanted to send a tune out that the hipsters adore, in sympathy. The song was ranked No. 493 on Rolling Stone’s “500 Greatest Songs” list, a list that has zero credibility since not a single Journey song is on it.
Remote Patrol
Cavs at Spurs, 8 p.m.
Lakers at Warriors, 10 p.m.
Kyrie Irving scored 57 in last March’s OT win at San Antonio
Cavs at Spurs was the best regular-season game in the NBA last season. Kobe makes his final appearance at Oracle in the nightcap, as the Warriors, who lost their third game of the season last night by 2 at Denver, look to move to 37-3. These are the three best teams in the NBA, and there’s a gap between them and the rest of the league.
Apparently, your eyes were so full of tears that this site will not (yet) have a wealthy patron (think Medici without the evil, corruption & murder), you couldn’t see on the morning news that there were actually 3 PB winners (CA, TN, & your fave, Floriduh). Yes, I’m depressed but in the immortal words of the GALAXY QUEST crew – I will “Never give Up, Never Surrender!”.
I was shocked & saddened to hear about Alan Rickman this morning. He will forever be known for multiple iconic roles. Can you think of another actor of the past 20 years that is so beloved for his “bad-guy” roles? Of course, to children of all ages, one of his most recent “villain” guys turned out to be really be a self-sacrificing hero, in possibly the longest ‘reveal’ on record. (I do still get angry at his pathetic, cheating husband in ‘Love Actually’ but it’s that damn assistant beyotch I want to run over with a 2-ton dump truck).
If you’re picking Leo for Best Actor, does this mean you saw ‘The Revenant’? Well, what’s the review?! Back in college, I took a ‘History of the West’ course & it was the 1st time I read of the story that was the basis for that movie. However, over the years I then read of multiple similar so-called “true stories” so I’m not sure which, if any, are actually true. (Even Michener included a version in ‘Centennial’). I have to agree that it is an awesome movie plot.
2. I saw a funny tweet last night: “No hills named after slacks deserves a billion dollars, this is some bull.”
Technically, aren’t chinos khakis in disguise?
I’m already upset with myself that the hed for No. 2 is not “Slacker.” And I won’t be able to change that until tonight.
Over the weekend I watched a 1 hour documentary on the ID (Investigation Discovery) channel about the Steven Avery cases. I have not seen the 10-part Netflix series & know only what you have written here & at Newsweek, but it’s pretty safe to say that the ID show had a VERY different take on Avery & the murder case. They did acknowledge that “grievous mistakes” were made in the rape case (after interviewing the rape victim & seeing a reenactment of her picking Avery in a photo display AND later in a lineup, they finally tell the viewers many minutes later that the sketch artist who met with the victim early on was apparently told by the police to make his sketch look like Avery – which the show says was “leading the witness”. You THINK? Anyhoo, they make NO mention of any malfeasance by the police/D.A. or anyone else in the murder case & a viewer is left with the impression that they got a heinous rapist/murderer safely behind bars. I just read this morning that the ID network & NBC are working together on a NEW documentary about this case & these folks think the producers of the Netflix series omitted many things &/or twisted some “facts”. Do you really think Avery is innocent? All I know for now is if he did do this horrific crime, then Avery makes all those dumb Floriduh criminals look like Einsteins. Or he’s a psychopath.
Speaking of ‘Florida Man’ stories – I meant to comment on your link a while back & got distracted (it was the holidays!). Loved it. However, my faves differed from yours –
‘Florida Man (“FM” henceforth) advertises “legit counterfeit $$” on Craigslist & is arrested’
‘ FM on lam butt-dials 911 & is arrested’
‘FM high on Flakka rams car into jail to “visit friends”‘
‘FM crashes car into business while trying to TIME TRAVEL’
& my topper – “Florida Man has sex with dolphin & says it ‘SEDUCED HIM'”. Come onnnn, how do you top that?! 🙂 🙂