by John Walters

Happy 40th birthday to Tim Minchin, composer/musician/comedian/philosopher from Perth. If you haven’t already had the pleasure, here’s a commencement address he gave and here are some of his thoughts on mutation and spiritual worship.

Starting Five

1. Astro Physics

Key Moments: Two solo bangs, to opposite fields, by Colby Rasmus and Carlos Gomez, off Masahiro (Hito) Tanaka ( <–obscure Japanese emperor reference). Jose Altuve leaning out to punch a low and outside pitch to left for a two-out, RBI single. Pitcher Dallas Keuchel saying, “No, I got this,” after Carlos Beltran hit a line drive to give the Ynnkees two on, two out in the sixth with A-Rod coming up to bat. Alex promptly swung at the first pitch and fisted a a can of corn to center for the third out.

Astros 3, Yankees 0. Three hits for the Yanks and they never advanced a runner to third.

A-Rod is the last vestige of those early 2000’s Yankee teams that sparred with the Red Sox in October, and he went 0 fer 4 (I may be wrong, but I think ESPN flashed a graphic showing that he has the worst batting average in postseason history, minimum 40 at-bats. Around .150). You got the sense that the Astros, with young talent like George Springer and Carlos Correa, are an exciting club that will make even more noise in the coming years. As for the Yanks, keep Greg Bird and Luis Severino and maybe one or two other guys, and start over. Tear down the stadium, apologize to everyone, and start again?

Yankee Stadium did report that it was 101% full, though (50,113), so no one will heed this suggestion, I realize.

2. HBO After Dark

A 38 year-old female dermatologist from Manhasset, Long Island, named Kiersten Cerveny befriends a 51 year-old HBO producer, Marc Johnson, on Facebook. They hang out at a Lower East Side bar last Saturday night, then head back to an apartment in Chelsea at 4:30 a.m. Four hours later two men are captured on video dragging her body into the hallway. She dies of an overdose, likely from cocaine.

An aside: See what happens when you don’t have Eric Stoltz’s phone number and the blonde OD’s? Or at least his address, so you can rush her over there and pump her full of adrenalin?

So that was kind of a Saturday night out in the city that ended poorly.

3. Oh, Boise! ( <– Lazy on my part)*

The judges will also accept “Let ‘Er Rypien”

What has changed at Boise State since the Broncos allowed two touchdowns in the final :40 at BYU, the first on a fourth-and-7 Hail Mary pass, to lose 35-24. Well, coach Bryan Harsin replaced starting quarterback Ryan Finley with true freshman Brett Rypien.

The results? Boise State won 52-0 versus Idaho State, 56-14 at Virginia, and 55-0 versus Hawaii. Rypien has completed 74 % of his passes with 6 TDs and 0 INTs. As a high school senior, Rypien tossed 50 touchdown passes (just last year), a state record. He also holds state records for career passing yards (13,044) and passing yards in a game (613), and is tied for the state record for passing TDs in a game (8). Those records were previously held by Kellen Moore, whom you may recall went 50-3 as Boise State’s QB.

The Broncos are 4-1 and ranked No. 25 and very unlikely to lose again this season. By my unofficial count, this would make at least the third time where a single play kept them from being undefeated. On the other hand, BYU is probably the best team they’ll face this season and they failed to win…and BYU is not even currently in the Top 25. So….

4. Mary Cain’s Oregon Trail Leads Back to Bronxville

Two years ago Mary Cain of Bronxville, N.Y., was America’s greatest female middle-distance prodigy since Mary Decker. She was a bright, even nerdy kid with a happy smile who set a killer pace.

Then she made, what I believed at time and still do today, was a terrible mistake. Cain, whose father is a successful physician, turned pro and moved to Portland to train under Alberto Salazar. It’s tough enough moving 2,500 miles from home, but then to isolate oneself at the University of Portland, not running as part of a team of athletes her own age but instead as part of Team Nike/Salazar, did not seem to suit her.

She came home after finals in May and announced she would be training in New York this summer. Her times had not been particularly good this past year. Now she has announced that she will not be returning to Oregon. Last Sunday she won a 5K in Van Cortland Park in the Bronx (I happened to be cycling past at the time, and if I’d had any idea Mary was in the race, I might have stopped to watch).

Excellent student. World-class runner. I don’t know who got into Mary’s head, but I always felt she would have thrived at an Ivy League school, or Stanford, or at running nauts of jugger Colorado or Oregon. Among fellow elite college athletes. As part of a team. Too late for all that now.

Live your life, I know (unless it happens to be partying with a 51 year-old HBO producer). But this one seemed like an easy call from the start, and I feel badly that such a wonderful opportunity was squandered. She never needed the money (Have you been to Bronxville?). Cain will tune up for the Olympic Trials, and I hope that she shines in Rio. But someone, likely not her, placed entirely too much emphasis on this one moment in her life.

5. Where In The World?

Yesterday: The Alhambra, Spain 

Music 101

Check It Out

Not only does John Mellencamp turn 64 today, but it turns out he’s been getting cozy with Christie Brinkley of late (so now he’s John Super Cougar Mellencamp?). Hey, at least he’s dating a gal from the same decade. This has always been my favorite song of his.

Remote Patrol

NL Wild Card: Cubs at Pirates

TBS 8 p.m.

The Cubs and Pirates have the third- and second-best records in all of baseball, and yet one of them will be done after (most likely) nine innings this evening. Seems kind of cruel Jake Arrieta has been unhittable for two months, so Cub fans actually have reason to be hopeful.