by John Walters
Note: I ran into someone last night who implored me to monetize this site, and then I patiently explained that Susie B. has already left me all of her Yahoo! stock in her will, so what’s the worry?
Happy Birthday to MH’s comic genius (or comic sans, I can’t remember), Katie M., whose birthday is today or yesterday or two days ago,, I’m not exactly sure when…
and…
…to our old friend Rebecca Lobo (this guy only looks like her husband)….
and…
…and of course to Britt Ekland, who appeared in “The Wicker Man” and was married to Peter Sellers
Starting Five
K.J. Wright summoned his inner Four Squares-playing child to bat this football over the end line
1. Bat Man
With Detroit’s Calvin Johnson going in for the go-ahead touchdown with under 2 minutes to play, Kam Chancellor punches the ball (POW!) out of his grasp, and then Seahawk teammate K.J. Wright bats it (THWACK!) out of bounds. And, like you, I found myself wondering, “WHAT ARE THE DETROIT LIONS DOING ON MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL?!?”
Was it an illegal play by Wright? Yes. Did it cost the Lions the football game? Probably, although they still needed to score and Russell Wilson, who’s no Colin Kaepernick, would have had about 90 seconds to lead a game-winning drive. And yet I can’t help thinking, Just don’t fumble the football, Megatron. Besides, the two most likely outcomes here were that the Seahawks recover or that the football skips out of bounds.
Yes, the ref botched the call. But seeing as how more people watching were more upset if they had Johnson on their fantasy team than if they are true Lions fans, I’m not all that bothered by it. Besides, Seahawk supporter Amelia Boone probably woke up at 4:03 a.m. today with a smile on her face, so that’s nice.
2. Lost at Sea (As Opposed to “Lost at Seahawks;” See Item 1)
The El Faro was 790 feet long, which is the length of two and 2/3 football fields or more than eight basketball courts, depending upon which sport you prefer
Lost in the news of Hurricane Joaquin was the fact that the freighter El Faro (“The Lighthouse”) was lost at sea in the Atlantic Ocean. The container ship carried 33 crew members, 28 of whom were American.
Was this a Sebastian Junger The Perfect Storm tale or a Susan Casey The Wave tale? Perhaps neither, as the freighter appeared to lose power in the eye of the storm en route from Jacksonville, Fla., to Puerto Rico, causing it to list or flounder as the storm approached. That’s sort of a hopeless position in which to be.
3. Harvard Loses…Again
That’s Matt Damon taking my high school football teammate, Scott Winters, to school on American history. Scott is the brother of Dean Winters, whom you know better as Mayhem on the All-State ads
So I checked a few times to confirm this wasn’t a hoax, but apparently a prison debate team recently defeated a Harvard debate team (though to be fair, it should be noted that the prison debate team’s closing argument was, “You wanna throw down, Ese?”).
4. “Attention, This Is Your Captain Shrieking…”
Well, he probably did not shriek, but an American Airlines captain did die in the midst of a flight from Phoenix to Boston. Michael Johnston, 57, died of what was most likely a heart attack. The co-pilot landed the plane in Syracuse. And that is why commercial flights have more than one pilot.
5. Where In The World?
Monday: Marieta, Mexico
Music 101
Sour Girl
Maybe STP would have had a longer shelf life if they had been able to step out of the shadow of contemporaries Nirvana and Pearl Jam, or if lead singer Scott Weiland were not the poster boy of the self-destructing lead singer (I know: you’re thinking, What about Kurt???). Anyway, Weiland is now a Notre Dame football fan, so obviously he’s found yet another way to court misery.
Remote Patrol
AL Wildcard: Lastros at Yankees
ESPN 8 p.m.
The Astros put 20-game winner Dallas Keuchel on the hill. Keuchel has not yielded a run to the Yanks in 16 innings this season. Meanwhile, New York’s highest-paid player, C.C. (Canadian Club? I’m already sorry) Sabathia, who earned $23 million this season with a 4.73 ERA, announced that he was headed to alcohol rehab yesterday. The best position player on the field may be Lastros rookie shortstop Carlos Correa. Two franchises headed in opposite directions.
LOL! 🙂 🙂 🙂
I hate to disillusion you, but I only own 100 shares of YHOO. Plus, have you SEEN the current 52 wk-low price these days? 🙁 You probably make more in a weekend at the Cookoutateria.
Now, if you’d said my shares of AMZN, then at least that would have paid your apartment rent for a year. Ok, maybe half a year. 3 months? You live in Manhattan, I’m assuming at least $3500/month? $5000? Hmmmm, since I have no plans to sell my 50 shares, it’s interesting to project which will be worth more in 30 years – that stock or the rent for your NYC apartment.
However, since I AM planning to win the MD lottery (any day now, any day!) via my subscription (have played the same row of numbers for the past 20 years & only if I add up all the minor winnings over those 20 years have I made back the cost of ONE year’s subscription, but hope & idiocy springs eternal…), this website may just benefit…. IF photos AND positive mentions of a certain NBA player make more than a Haley’s Comet appearance. 😉
Speaking of money – do you ever go to Yahoo-Finance to scan articles, etc? That site, CNBC, MarketWatch, & Motley Fool are my go-to sites but days like this drive me crazy. TODAY on Yahoo-Finance were the following 2 articles :
‘People Weren’t Supposed to be Saving This Much Money & Now it’s a Problem’ (from Business Insider)
&
‘Most Americans have Less Than $1000 in Savings’ (from MarketWatch)
If this were an aberration, it would be bad enough, but these diametrically opposed pieces pop up weekly. Any wonder that Americans are financially confused?
I’ll save you some time – the 1st article is nothing but misleading statistical charts & wildly inaccurate conclusions. My “favorite” statement in the whole piece is : “households simply have more assets than liabilities”. Which (per median household) is the biggest load of bullshit since Trump last opened his mouth. I can’t quite figure out the writer’s intent for the piece but it doesn’t even matter – all people see is the headline which I can guarantee you will be referenced by other lazy conservative financial writers that “all is well & American retirement futures are hunky-dory, so no need to keep around that pesky Social Security”. Drives me insane.
Was there a more helpless Bond girl than Britt Eklund’s Mary Goodnight? Seriously, how much training did female MI6 agents get back in the 70s?
That Dubs would have a direct tie with the Good Will Hunting apple victim is just unsurprising. Dean Winters, both on 30 Rock and Rescue Me, a scene-stealer. I can’t help but think of him any time my beeper goes off.